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What's wrong with being ugly? (self.TheBluePill)

BoughtSomeDrugs が 投稿

I know there's a lot of women hating incels in the group, but what about non-women hating incels? Are they bad too? Trust me, someone can be incel just because they're ugly. I know I'm an incel, due to the fact that I can make friends, male and female, and even maintain friendships. Just no woman finds me attractive.

So I'm going to lay down some points, and I really hope you guys can debunk inceldom...

I hate how average/ugly people are often fed BS about how things other than looks matter most in dating. They don't. Here's some advice that's commonly given and i'll break it down:

1) Be confident. This one works for the good looking people who can get away with saying or doing almost anything they wish and no one will protest. An unattractive person tries to be confident and speaks up or act up - quickly gets shut down. Whether it be trying to be the life of the part or approaching a female - he'll soon get put in his place. Having confidence usually leads to rejection or friendzone for unappealing males. Not to mention, after a few such experiences there won't be much confidence left in the tank.

2) Be yourself - again this one only works for the good looking people. Most people have normal personalities - they're not rude and at the same time they're not super exciting. So unless you're naturally super funny or interesting or engaging, i don't see how being yourself gets you anywhere.

3) Lower your standards - most of the people who're unsuccessful with dating are being realistic - they don't go for the 8's and 9's, but they still want someone they'd find at least a little attractive. Attraction is a core component of a relationship, it's the most important thing. So telling someone to drop their standards so low that they won't feel attraction for the person is setting them up for a relationship that won't last long.

4) Personality > looks. This couldn't be further from the truth. No matter how great your personality is, if the attraction isn't there, it won't matter. There are some exceptions, but they're just that - exceptions.

5) The right person will come along. We don't live in a fantasy world. No one will magically fall into your path if you're universally unappealing. People will only notice you if you look good and will be more willing to talk to you and get to know you.

6) Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It's really not. You don't see stereotypical 8's and 9's chasing stereotypical 6's because they somehow find them amazing.

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[–]khazhakwhite knight beta cuck 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (5子コメント)

I see a lot of topics on offmychest complaining about being ugly too, and quite frankly I don't get it.

yes, people give you nasty looks. yes, people laugh at you in your face and behind your back. you think people are nice to everyone else? they might not attack their looks, but there's so much else to be picked on for, and trust me, it does get picked on! how else do you think I know how this goes? I'm not unattractive, but I'm ambiguously gendered in looks and voice. whispers, stares, glares, people coming up to me and trying to make me talk, then getting pissy when I won't (like I'm going to give the time of day to someone acting aggressively). people loudly talking about THE GAYS and pausing for dramatic effect while glaring in my direction to make sure I noticed, then freaking out and running away when I do (will never understand that one).

so you get bullied. stop acting like your life is over. it's not.

everyone has something in common. everyone knows when they click and when they don't. be good at conversation, be sly and silver-tongued, and you will get dates no matter what it is you look like. obviously you're still going to get rejected a lot (just like everybody else). but don't act like you'll never find a warm hole until the day you die, because at that point your desperation and self-hate makes your life a self-fulfilling prophecy, and only aggressive professional therapy can save you from yourself.

No one will magically fall into your path

I don't know why you think this is some great injustice. this is how the world works. period. end of story. no ifs ands buts or ors, that's just how it goes.

Elliot rodger went on his spree because he "couldn't get" women because of his "inferior genetics" and "ugly looks." Elliot rodger was not unattractive. go ahead, google him. fucker looked great. but he was an incel, because he would do shit like go to a park or club with lots of people, sit down on a chair or bench, and wait for women to come to him.

of course those women all ran off with men they had or formed a connection with, because that's how shit works. poor widdle Elliot hated them all for it because he assumed it was purely because those guys warmed benches more attractively than he did, and then he went and did what he did because he spent his life sitting and waiting with his mouth open for that silver spoon to come along and blamed everyone but himself when it never did.

if you want something from the world, you need to do everything yourself, starting from basic shit like hygiene and ending with expert nuances like knowing when and when not to quit.

no one is being any more unfair to you than they are to anyone else. even bullies bully other people too.

[–][削除されました]  (2子コメント)

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    [–]khazhakwhite knight beta cuck 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (1子コメント)

    he had no sex appeal because he sat like a bump on a fucking log

    [–]BoughtSomeDrugs[S] 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (1子コメント)

    I agree with you on everything. My point being is that people say most incels are incels due to reasons that they can control, and all they need to do is "shower more" and "be confident." I'm just here to say it isn't that simple. Is misygony justified? Absolutely not (but the source of misygony is understable), but I'm just trying to see rebuttals/different perspectives. Because I feel like TBP likes to hate on incels just for being incels.

    [–]khazhakwhite knight beta cuck 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

    of course it's more nuanced than making yourself look good, but you need to understand than most incels are not ugly.

    the dominant reasons most incels are incels are: they don't know how to dress, don't shower frequently, have outdated or unflattering haircuts, maintain an emotional distance from others as a default, are too shy to or refuse to approach women because they have no confidence in themselves, are quick to put themselves or others down, are too sensitive to handle being teased with grace, are uptight around women, and haven't thought at all about what they'd be bringing to the relationship beyond "well, I won't hit you" or "but I deserve it."

    that's boring. I can't think of anyone that would enjoy being in a relationship with someone like that. if they clean up and become greek gods on earth, they STILL wouldn't get a girlfriend.

    [–]WestsideMoonWalkerKing of the Chadettes 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Nothing, nobody gives a shit if you are ugly or not. Things other than looks 100% matter though. I went from painfully failing with regards to relationships to being pretty damn normal. My looks barely changed if at all, and my body type is far from conventionally attractive. I am a stick figure. Honestly, if looks are the real issue, there are still steps you can take to mitigate that. How someone dresses is a huge deal, believe it or not. Someone who doesn't wear form flattering clothes and is wearing say, very baggy jeans and beat up running shoes, is not gonna look good. That's just a fact of life.

    Attractiveness is relative and not 100% universal though. Some places have higher congregations of attractive people than others. Lots of populations skew disproportionately attractive or not for reasons other than just genetic looks. Things like income, social class, and lifestyle afforded by being more affluent make it easier to eat healthier and maintain appearances.

    Attraction also comes in multiple forms. Intellectual and emotional attraction are absolutely a thing, as is physical. They all serve different functions. Some people need more of one of those than others do.

    TL;DR: Nobody cares as long as you aren't a dick.