Our president is an undeniable narcissist and compulsive liar who consistently peddles in conspiracy theories and misspells even the commonest of words. He has surrounded himself with individuals with decades-long histories of accusations of racism and has appointed a cabinet intent on dismantling the federal government, removing much-needed funding from public schools, and repealing important economic and environmental laws put in place to protect the American people. An alarming number of his policies, whether by coincidence or design, seem to favor the interests of the ultra-wealthy and the Russian state at the expense of the interests and safety of the common people of the United States.

However, in the face of all this, we, the American people, can take solace in the indisputable fact that by choosing him our country was able to escape the far, far worse fate of electing a president who at one point used a legal, but ill-advised private e-mail server to conduct government business. Amirite? Amirite?