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I dont know what to do in that situation. (self.MGTOW)

anonymaccount666 が 投稿

(I'm sorry, English is not my first language)

I discovered the MGTOW subreddit by accident in 2016. I was searching on Google for other people like me that don't want house, children or marriage. I felt like those things were used as a trap against men, in my point of view. Since then, I swallow the red pill and I read MGTOW everyday.

I have been with my girlfriend for 16 years, we are in our low 30's, and we know each other since elementary school (we were in the same classroom and we were good friends, even at that time). I know her since I am 8 yo.

Very recently, she left me, and she announced that she has been cheating on me for several months, with an older 'Chad' that is close to us and her family. That 'Chad' was ready to leave everything and live with her, and I know it is true because I know him. However, she finally said that she realised that it had no sense, that she felt lonely without me, that she loves me, and that she can accept to live with me without house, child or marriage.

We came back together, and we discuss very often of our hypothetical future. I scenario 1, we can break up again, and both live our life our own ways, but we are both unable to do that. We are so used to live together, we still have fun and sex together, and we don't think that it is possible to create real, strong bonds with another person. To be separated would feel like we are separated from a brother or sister for life. In scenatio 2, we continue without child, and we both think that it will lead to a very repeatitive, boring and predictable life. I know that she will be depressed for life without a child. In scenario 3, we have a child, which will bring new challenges, new love in our (and my) life, but it is very risky (child suppport, cheating girlfriend, nagging, etc.).

At this point, it seems that I will probably bend and accept scenario 3, which is the complete opposite of the MGTOW philosophy. I though that I was strong enough to live alone, but the emptiness I felt when she left me seems to be unbearable for me (I found a good and short summary of the emptiness I feel in https://redd.it/5v0bi7). All in all, I am not the strong, 'lonely warrior' I wanted to be. At least, after reading MGTOW for months, I am clearly aware of the risks I will encouter with scenario 3...

Any comments or suggestions are welcome..

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[–]Sol_Install 23 ポイント24 ポイント  (0子コメント)

It's over for you. You're already admitting defeat. You know that if you cave in, you're going to suffer. And you believe you will cave in. That's not even factoring that you can be reduced to nothing more than a mere wallet if you have a child and the child gets all the attention and affection. Women being women, if they want a child bad enough, they'll find a way to get it. Without concern for how it impacts the man. We're talking anything from preg trapping to outright cheating. The fact that you feel you cannot be without her will be your downfall. This means that you will practically endure almost anything she does because the pain of being without her is greater. If she realizes this, being a woman, she'll use this to her advantage to get what she wants and still have a faithful provider in her corner. In fact, I'd wager she already knows this. And how? She cheated on you. For months at least. Came home to you and kept cheating. And what did you do? You took her back.

Women test men to see how strong they are. If you don't put up with their shit, she'll get mad but respect you more for it. You do? She'll see you as an easy target to get what she wants. This can be anything from being a whipped man servant to outright abuse and relentless cheating. Taking back a cheater is a HUGE no. HUGE. Because that means she knows you'll take her back, she knows she can do it again. Factor in the desire for a child and you're basically sleeping with the enemy. That utter disgust men feel when their woman cheats apparently had little impact on you. That's shit I cannot allow to fly.

Unless you are ready to break things off with her, there is no hope. No one is going to say it'll be easy. Often the case, men describe it as the hardest thing they have ever done.

[–]RedFoxOnFire 22 ポイント23 ポイント  (5子コメント)

She cheated on you once, and you forgave her

She'll cheat on you again.

See you after your divorce

[–]Kruppstahlterminator 11 ポイント12 ポイント  (4子コメント)

He also plans to make a child with the cheater. Who knows if it will really be his child.

The risk is far to high. One should never forgive treason.

[–]801735 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (3子コメント)

Nonsense. Of course the Chad's child is his. WTF is wrong with you, you're not being supportive of the chick at all. Think about the child, too.

[–]Kruppstahlterminator 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (2子コメント)

Of course the Chad's child is his.

There are indeed women who don't understand why it matters if it's your child or not. Until you mention the thought of their baby being switched in the hospital right after birth.

[–]801735 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (1子コメント)

You don't understand that correctly. If it's hers, it's ok, if it is not hers it's not ok. What is there so difficult to understand, ATM_machine?

[–]Kruppstahlterminator 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (0子コメント)

You don't need to simulate this crap. I can just go to /r/askwomen and have the original content.

[–]androenergy 15 ポイント16 ポイント  (0子コメント)

You can't GYOW while having someone else dictate the terms of your life...those two paths are mutually exclusive

[–]Ariesthatwatches 9 ポイント10 ポイント  (0子コメント)

after reading your thread I have no hope for you. Taking back a cheater? If it happened before it'll happen again. If given the opportunity, she'll cheat again. She knows that you don't have a spine and will take her back, so what does she have to worry about? You are her fall back plan, even if she "felt lonely without you". Your being played. I'm sorry you invested your whole life in that.

[–]Nofappingfromnow 10 ポイント11 ポイント  (0子コメント)

You can't have everything in life bro! Either go MGTOW or live in shackles

[–]LJHova 10 ポイント11 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Wow, what an original idea. Having a child will fix all of your problems and ensure she never cheats again. /sarc

Seriously, you are a fool if you stay with this woman. Walk away before you end up losing 50% of your stuff and have alimony and child support payments to take your mind off of the fact that she cheated again.

[–]shellbroth 9 ポイント10 ポイント  (0子コメント)

All I'm gonna tell you is: she's cheated once, she'll cheat again.

But hey, you got back with her and you said you can't live without her, you even considering giving her what she wants (baby, meaning rent for the next 18 years) so good luck.

[–]Setari 8 ポイント9 ポイント  (1子コメント)

You're done.

Good luck with that child support and being homeless, or close to.

As soon as you said you got back together with her and reading on, you accepting "scenario 3", you're done here.

Also you're getting back together with a cheater. She is going to use you for a house and food while riding that cock carousel behind your back, dude. 100% guarantee it.

[–]MRA-automatron-2kb 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (0子コメント)

This is a good lesson, thanks for sharing.

Lesson: His GF since childhood cheats on him with the Chad.

[–]Painislove2016 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

May your chains rest lightly upon you.

[–]mutageno 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-handicapping

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impulse_control_disorder

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Behavioral_addiction

https://www.ted.com/talks/dan_gilbert_researches_happiness/

[–]justiceavenger 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I feel yeah and you aren't in an easy position. I dated my first girlfriend 4 times because we always found reasons to get back together and we missed each other, but she never cheated on me so I wasn't taking back a cheater. Honestly I think you should be done with her. If she cheated on you once she will probably do it again. It will be tough though so cut someone out of your life for good you have loved for so long, but if she was willing to cheat on you that isn't a good sign.

I myself am almost 30 and hate the fact I don't have a child yet. I often think back to if things worked out with my first girlfriend, who was the last woman I dated because I went back to her after my second gf, and think of us having a child and staying together. I get how you want to go for choice 3, but considering she is a cheater you don't want to bring a child into a relationship where she doesn't love and respect you.

Be very careful going forward. I know dumping her for good will be tough because you have been together for so long, but if she cheated on you is the relationship really that strong? Also if the sex is really good don't let that keep you. My ex was a complete nympho and the sex was amazing. Having to go back to jacking off was not easy, but I knew it was better to jack off then try to force that relationship after breaking up for the 4th time.

[–]CoffeeMAGA 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Run. Jesus fucking Christ. How stupid are you.

[–]hoaobrook73 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

If you can't live without her, you don't know who you are yet.

I understand the thought process, I took back a cheater. Guess what... She cheated again... And again... And again.

Walk away and find yourself. It's a really awesome journey.

Your girlfriend is a horrible horrible horrible person who deserves nothing from anyone, especially you.

[–]Kruppstahlterminator 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

OP, you're acting out of a position of pure weakness. If you proceed as planed you will also be a figure on other people's chess boards.

I don't really know how you can maneuver out of this crappy situation. I only know that your "solutions" are none. If you proceed this way you'll never have a relationship one the same eye level and - what's even worse - would father a child with a weak role model (what's bad for boys and girls).

[–]strudel- 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Enjoy paying child support while she fucks around with other men.

[–]raisins3142 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I feel really bad about all this.

I could never take back a woman that cheated on me.

I think that you feel that you can't do better or find someone else or be okay without her. You can.

I'd not be able to look at her or trust her after such a betrayal. The length of time you've known each other would only make it worse for me.

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