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Maybe better at doing his job than we thought?

Good Monday morning, it’s time for another mountain of bullshit from Donald Trump! After the weak loser “president” lost his dang marbles on Twitter Saturday morning, baselessly accusing President Obama of “illegally” doing a “wire tapp” to him (because he saw an article in Breitbart, which is where all real “presidents” get their news), White House Counsel Donald F. McGahn II went to work to get his hands on a secret Foreign Intelligence Surveillance (FISA) court warrant that would “prove” the Obama administration did the “illegal” “wire tapp.” Of course, if a FISA court did approve a warrant, first of all, it would likely have come from the FBI, not Obama, and secondly, the very approval of such a warrant would indicate that the FISA judge was presented with compelling evidence that the Trump team was doing Very Bad Things with Russia, in which case it would be very legal.

Of course, if McGahn really did work hard to get his hands on such a (SECRET!) warrant, that would be highly wrong and bad and stupid, or as the New York Times puts it, it would be “a highly unusual breach of the Justice Department’s traditional independence on law enforcement matters for the White House to order it to turn over such an investigative document.” But this is the Trump White House, so fuck the rules, right?

House Democrats on the Judiciary Committee are pissed about this, and they fired off a letter to McGahn to PLEASE SPLAIN YOURSELF, noting that such interference is highly improper, and comparing it to that time Trump goon Reince Priebus begged the FBI and friendly congresspeople to tell the press that stories about Team Trump’s constant contact with Team Putin were fake news alternative fact lies.

But did such a warrant even exist? Let’s check in with our old pal FBI Director James Comey, who very publicly undermined Donald Trump this weekend, right in his orange face, by asking the Justice Department to please clarify that the “president” is talking out of his ass, and also lying:

The F.B.I. director, James B. Comey, asked the Justice Department this weekend to publicly reject President Trump’s assertion that President Barack Obama ordered the tapping of Mr. Trump’s phones, senior American officials said on Sunday. Mr. Comey has argued that the highly charged claim is false and must be corrected, they said, but the department has not released any such statement.

Mr. Comey, who made the request on Saturday after Mr. Trump leveled his allegation on Twitter, has been working to get the Justice Department to knock down the claim because it falsely insinuates that the F.B.I. broke the law, the officials said. […]

Mr. Comey’s request is a remarkable rebuke of a sitting president, putting the nation’s top law enforcement official in the position of questioning Mr. Trump’s truthfulness. The confrontation between the two is the most serious consequence of Mr. Trump’s weekend Twitter outburst, and it underscores the dangers of what the president and his aides have unleashed by accusing the former president of a conspiracy to undermine Mr. Trump’s young administration.

Now, the Justice Department hasn’t responded to Comey, possibly because, as NBC News notes, there’s hardly anybody at Justice right now who even has the capability of doing such a thing, since Attorney General Jeff Sessions recused himself from any matters relating to investigations into Trump’s fairly obvious ties with Russia.

Of course, as the NYT points out, it’s not like Comey couldn’t make the statement all by himself, not that he’s ever taken such matters into his own hands, no not never:

It is not clear why Mr. Comey did not issue a statement himself. He is the most senior law enforcement official who was kept on the job as the Obama administration gave way to the Trump administration. And while the Justice Department applies for intelligence­-gathering warrants, the F.B.I. keeps its own records and is in a position to know whether Mr. Trump’s claims are true. While intelligence officials do not normally discuss the existence or nonexistence of surveillance warrants, no law prevents Mr. Comey from issuing the statement.

Statement or no statement, though, Comey is JUST SAYING that Trump is lying, and really needs to shut his yap-maker, though he is saying it way nicer than that. Is that good enough for Trump? Hahaha, of course not! Trump spokeswoman Sarah Huckster Huckabee Sanders said Monday morning that “No, I don’t think he does” accept Comey’s denial that Obama did a “wire tapp” of him, and that he definitely still wants Congress to investigate whether Obama did #SCANDALS! to him. Kellyanne Conway even told Fox News Comey should issue his own statement on the alleged wiretapping, because “we know he’s not shy.” But maybe he’s only Not Shy when he’s stealing the election from Hillary Clinton, Kellyanne, did you ever think of that?

But anyway, oh boy, what a Hail Mary this all is! Remember how Trump projects a whole lot, and he likes to say “bigger than Watergate!” about fake things every time investigators and the press are getting really close to the truth? And, like the petulant child he is, he won’t accept Comey’s denial that Obama did a “wire tapp” to him, even though Trump found that information right there inside his butt, like, how much more proof does anybody need?

We have a feeling he might accept Comey’s resignation, though. Just a guess. And oh holy shit, how much more guilty will THAT make Trump look in the eyes of all sane and rational people? SO GUILTY.

Is it time for the entire Trump White House to go to jail yet? We’re starting to think it’s not an “if” anymore, but a “when,” and everything is happening very, very fast, so stay tuned!

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  • Oblios_Cap

    Too bad Comey destroyed whatever cred he had by manipulating the election of the Orange Menace.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Look, I will shamelessly undermine the Constitution, collude with a suspected Russian puppet, and conspire to change the outcome of a Presidential election, but don’t ask me to sit idly by while you disparage the good name of the FBI!”
    — James Comey?

  • memzilla Ω

    O/T: Tell me more about this quaint notion of “civil rights” we used to have in this country. “The Supreme Court on Monday announced that it would not hear a major case on transgender rights after all, acting after the Trump administration changed the federal government’s position on whether public schools had to allow transgender youths to use bathrooms that matched their gender identities.”
    . https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5b1f1043b36b7edbe974521635f83ac9ef2fdd13f76791d0b75806d306985f90.jpg

    • goonemeritus

      West Virginia? I wouldn’t have guessed that given 49 chances.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Iowa has spacious closets.

        • goonemeritus

          Or men and women dress so much alike in Iowa that no one knows the difference.

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            Here’s a seed cap for you and here’s a seed cap for you and….

        • PubOption

          Allows room for a wide stance.

  • goonemeritus

    It’s a little known secret that Director Comey has always been in the tank for Jill Stein and is undermining every other candidate out of bitterness.

  • Iron Monkey


    Now, the Justice Department hasn’t responded to Comey, possibly because, as NBC News notes, there’s hardly anybody at Justice right now who even has the capability of doing such a thing

    Hell, there’s hardly anybody at Justice left to answer the phone.

    • Asterix

      They have a few more warm bodies than the State Department.

  • Mavenmaven

    The president this weekend, flirting with Italian tourists. He doesn’t look right in the head.
    https://scontent.fphl1-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/17155876_787932191365753_845809993676666671_n.jpg?oh=3fb74dda6fb83ca36ece2607646a75a5&oe=592B64C6

    • proudgrampa

      Wow. He really doesn’t look like he’s all there…

    • Bill D. Burger

      Forrest Trump:
      “Life is like a box of shit./You always know what you’re gonna’ git.”

      https://i.imgflip.com/1k8ydu.jpg

    • snigsy

      Why is the woman on the left crying? Or is she shit-giggling?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Is that right elbow getting some action there?

    • Lefty Frizzell

      Does he take an anti-psychotic on Monday morning that wears off by Friday evening?

    • Mavenmaven
      • Bill D. Burger

        Trump: “Hidy’! Who am I? Should I scratch my watch or wind my ass?”

      • Oblios_Cap

        What fine looking white people.

      • Greyhame

        The office tends to accelerate the aging process even for a relatively low-stress administration, so I’d say he ought to be effectively about 97 years old in a few more weeks.

      • Pilotshark

        kind of like : should i grab your pussy: look, or i like women with big boobs.

        • Bill D. Burger

          “Aim me in the right direction! I forget which is which.”

    • MynameisBlarney

      He looks like he just got caught in the middle of a shart.

      • anon_the_great

        ‘Dad, did you sit in the apple pie?’
        ‘I hope so.’

    • anon_the_great

      “Whew! Glad that’s over. At least it’ll be 6 month before we have to visit Gramps again. Red Robin? I have a gift card.”

    • Oblios_Cap

      Boy, that overweight fellow sure has some small hands.

    • dlemex

      Are we sure that’s not a piñata from here? Sure looks devoid of life.

    • ariel_gee_398
    • Susan Szews

      He looks like a grandpa with dementia, and I’m being kind with my words here.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Loved one pundit’s comment that for an FBI director to contradict a sitting president publicly was “…wholly unprecedented in our history.” “I’ve never, no one’s ever, seen anything like this.”
    Still, hell, this sort of “WTF…WTF!!!” moment is becoming ordinary and a daily occurrence. The numbing effect of that alone is frightening.

    Still, it’s basically, a “NowWhatBitch?” moment that sets up a direct conflict between the two whether the DOJ does anything. It’s open and out there.

    http://gifsec.com/wp-content/uploads/GIF/2014/04/GIF-Big-Bag-of-Popcorn.gif

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Other things James Comey denies the FBI has tapped:
    — Vermont Sugar Maples
    — MLK Jr’s hotel, room, except for that one those lotsa times.
    — The phones at the George Soros Protestor Recrutiment Center

    • Msgr_MΩment

      — Melania, while she waits alone in NYC for the weekend trip to Donnyworld.

      • snark-lurker

        shez never had it so good or been happier

        • Latverian Diplomat

          She’s hoping to get everything north of the Mason-Dixon line in the divorce.

        • Pilotshark

          one wonders if she didn`t enroll young Barron into year around school so she doesn`t have to move into the tarnish white house.

          • SnarkON

            She’s just as disgusting as her husband is. She probably wants to avoid the White House so the press doesn’t start sniffing around her shady business.

    • SnarkON

      The keg at the ATO party.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    To paraphrase my new favorite little girl, I think we should impeach the whore Administration. https://a.disquscdn.com/get?url=https%3A%2F%2Fimg-9gag-fun.9cache.com%2Fphoto%2Faz89NPN_460s.jpg&key=w0z1Yoi_Ur7UEJRmbm5OhQ&w=600&h=613

  • Lefty Frizzell

    This is insane. There’s no other way to put it.

    The Whitehouse actually thinks that the president can order a judge to order the FBI to carry out an illegal wiretapp.

    Because that’s how they imagine it works in an authoritarian Whitehouse, and that’s the sort of thing they want and intend to do themselves. It’s a white trash banana republic.

    Nobody in the entire Whitehouse staff has any idea how the government actually works.

    McConnell, Ryan and co are still standing back, thinking it’s all good for their donors if he can make this work. If Bannon’s the manipluative, clever one – he’s using their spineless greed to help him bring down the USA. This is so out there I think we may be over estimating him and he’s just plain mad.

    • SnarkON

      Actually Old Navy is a white trash Banana Republic.

      • Lefty Frizzell

        Very very good!

  • MynameisBlarney

    Oh Comey, you sly dog you.
    You’re only saying that because you don’t want turmps idiocy drag you down with him.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “It was really Pence I wanted to work for anyway.”
    — James Comey?

    • Martini Ambassador

      Buyer’s remorse is a hell of a drug.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Or, this is Phase II of the operation?

  • Martini Ambassador

    Remember how Trump projects a whole lot, and he likes to say “bigger than Watergate!” about fake things every time investigators and the press are getting really close to the truth?

    Yup. Trump accuses the “other side” of doing something, and invariably it turns out that he himself is the person doing the illegal thing. So, it would be irresponsible not to speculate that in fact Trump has been illegally wiretapping somewhere. We already know that he’s a shady-ass perv that listens to the phone calls of the patrons in his hotels.

    • Greyhame

      He does have his own private security force, not to mention the ties to organized crime.

    • laughingnome

      It would be irresponsible not to speculate he subcontracted Russian spies to do his tapping.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Trump is a hypocrite on this issue in two ways.

    He contracts all his illegal wiretaps out to the Russians, instead of buying American.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Hey Comey, tell us about Hillary’s emails again.

  • Lizzietish81

    If only Comey had this sense of integrity during the election

    • snark-lurker

      did he ever have any integrity?

    • WotsAllThisThen

      When you say integrity, you mean trying to cover his own ass against insane allegations from a madman he put in power?

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “Integrity? I dunno, I flunked calculus.”
      — James Comey.

      “No silly, That’s integration. And I flunked calculus also. In a big way.”
      — Jeff Sessions

      “I find these jokes derivative.”
      — Ghost of Gottfried Leibniz

      • laughingnome

        Stop with the all the tangents or I won’t cosine on your proposition.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        The Trump maladministration is a fractal. It looks like the same derp at any magnification.

      • SnarkON

        “Math is hard.” -Barbie

      • Fartknocker

        Comey is an asymptotic asshole. I still believe he has his own agenda.

        • The Wanderer

          The assholiness of his asshole extends to infinity?

        • PubOption

          In which case he should never quite get there.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      We’re all fucking traumatized, Donnie. We have been since 11/9. Joining the resistance helped a lot of us, might be worth a try.

      • laughingnome

        Not gonna let him into our club.

        • Up In Smoke O’hontas

          We could tell him his very exclusive tickets are at Will Call, right over there…below that dangling grand piano…

      • PubOption

        Just don’t let him set up a parallel resistance.

    • TJ Barke
  • Msgr_MΩment
  • MynameisBlarney

    If this is true, and permanent.
    It STILL ain’t enough to make start up another account on fascespace thingy.

    https://twitter.com/PrisonPlanet/status/838733344439422977

    • Martini Ambassador

      Waah! Our fake news is being censored as fake news!

    • Vincent Ricola

      Haha good.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Insert all the usual “no right to be published”, private entities can’t censor, only governments can arguments here.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Who needs Facebook when POTUS repeats everything that poops out of your mouth?

    • TJ Barke

      False flag! I think… Or something. Fuck, I don’t know.

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      Just block all linkys from faceplant. Burst a lot of bubbles, sure, but imagine if people had to go hunt down information for themselves, or learn to succinctly summarize interesting articles to recommend… It’d be like the munchkins coming out of hiding after Dorothy lands oN the wicked witch.

  • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

    It seemed like there had to be a pony under all the manure Trump was throwing around. It’s starting to look more like a Clydesdale, or maybe it’s an elephant, or maybe Godzilla. Or maybe it’s just a pile of horesehit. Trump isn’t helping himself.

    • Greyhame

      It appears most Republicans are convinced that if they just keep digging …

  • LarryHoudini

    Trump likes to project? By that logic, HE’S the one who’s crooked and should be locked up. My Aunt Sally clearly couldn’t go along with that.

  • memzilla Ω

    Mr. Comey… has been working to get the Justice Department to knock down the claim because it falsely insinuates that the F.B.I. broke the law…

    Let me get this straight. The SAME FUCKING GUY who falsely insinuated — TWICE — that Hillary’s emails were criminal, NOW he has a problem with “false insinuations?” WHAT THE EVERLASTING FUCK???

    • Ghenghis McCann

      As Mr Orwell said; “Doublethink.”

  • Lefty Frizzell

    For fuck’s sake if Obama could order shit like that to come down we’d have certainly seen Trump’s tax returns buy now (and Mitt’s).

    And you know what – part of me wishes he could and did. A 40 year reign of Emperor-president Obama looks pretty good right now.

    • georgiaburning

      I’d accept that, too. But what did Obama do to deserve that cruel punishment?

    • Pilotshark

      i do like Ted Lieu (D-CA) at this point.

      Mr. President: If there was a wiretap at Trump Tower, that means a fed judge found probable cause of crime which means you are in deep shit.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance
  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    What’s worse: not being fired by President Obama when he really deserved it, or being fired by Donald Trump in an ass-covering move?

  • anon_the_great

    I predict the twist in this tale of Russian intrigue is most of the damning intel comes from American allies intended to counter Giuliani/Trump moles in the FBI.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      Rachel reported last week that a large batch of recently came from British and Dutch intel organizations.

  • The Wanderer

    The Trump White House: “You will not find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.”

    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      “We must be cautious. Oh, and we’ll need popcorn.”

  • GoutMachine
  • laughingnome

    If they lock the Trump admin up, will they be in private jails? That would be ironic, if irony didn’t die a few years back.

  • MynameisBlarney

    HAHAHA!!!!

    The fecal matter is about to strike the rotational air circulation device.

    https://twitter.com/joshtpm/status/838737285948522496

  • Sardonicuss

    So, Sessions recuses himself (the literal least he could do) Drmp goes on a Twit rampage about mythical wire “tapps” …and voila: Now the big story is the the taps that didn’t happen and…nobody is talking about the AG’s collusion with the Russians anymore.

    • GoutMachine

      Wash, rinse, repeat!

      • Sardonicuss

        The squirrels are trampling each other.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Well, they’d like that, but….

    • Antonin Dvorak

      IDK, it seems like they are both part of one big story.

      • Sardonicuss

        You mean the real story about all the people in his admin who were talking to the Russians (AOTK) that isnt getting any air because it is all being sucked up by his insane tapp twits? That big story?

        • Antonin Dvorak

          Yes, his insane tweets are about him trying to blame others preemptively for leaking proof of colluding with Russia. This is so big, no distraction can obtain escape velocity.

          • Sardonicuss

            But it worked.
            The Sessions story was so fresh on Friday, it was the cold opening on SNL…and it was a real story.
            By Sunday Morning, the media was laser focused on a story pulled out of Trumps ass! The “Tapps”.
            As distraction, it completly worked.

    • Chadwells

      Well…the wire tap is part of the entire Russian connection! So it’s still all one big pile of Russian shit.

      • The Wanderer

        Russian shit must smell. All that borscht and pickled veggies.

        • GoutMachine

          Borscht shit is the worst. It’s also like red-purple, so you think you’re dying.

          • The Wanderer

            I wouldn’t know about that, but I do know the color effects from too many blueberries.

          • Hutch

            You want to scare yourself? Blue Gatorade causes neon green poops. Ye gads!

    • Chadwells

      The prevailing theory that I’ve heard is that the FISA warrant was obtained back in October 2016. Remember the 2 servers pinging each other…1 in Trump Tower and the other was Russian bank Alfa/Alpha Bank? Those servers were pinging each other….a lot. Trump passed it off as spam. FBI said not so fast and was granted the FISA warrant…but never used it.

      So it’s still about the Rooskies!! One big shit sammich!!

      • Sardonicuss

        Thats true. The tap the NYT poo pooed.
        …..and that is important but..
        Sessions was down greeting guest at the Florida Dacha! All anybody on the news Sunday was talking about was Drmps tantrum and the non story about the wiretaps. With Comey, and all the ex-Obama people refuting that.
        Drmps tantrum worked. It shifted attention away from Sessions and on to something that may or may not be relevant.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Except for the thing where everyone was talking about Trump’s collusion with the Russians and how Sessions’ collusion means they’ll need a special prosecutor.

    • cmd resistor

      Wasn’t Sessions supposed to go back before the Senate committee today to “clarify” his testimony? Or was that one of the many odd dreams I had last night.

      • GoutMachine

        NPR this morning said he’s due to deliver a written explanation. They then had a sound byte of Sen. Franken from “This Week” where he said he should come back and explain himself.

  • snigsy

    Today in Nixon / Trump comparisons:

    At least Nixon was intelligent. And owned a dog.

    • The Wanderer

      And his wife owned a good solid Republican cloth coat!

      • Oblios_Cap

        And we, thankfully, didn’t know what she looked like naked.

      • snigsy

        Remember when politicians felt compelled to deny their corruption, as if corruption were a bad thing?

    • Lizzietish81

      Nixon was patient above all else.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      This is from October but slight relevant:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8xKAYLXbYA

    • Bill D. Burger

      Trump is, ironically, surrounded by a bunch of bitches.

    • PubOption

      Melania is at least a nine.

      • Hutch

        With all this spy talk going around, I’m beginning to wonder if Melania isn’t Mata Hari. Just speculating.

        • cmd resistor

          It would make a better movie plot for sure. Then again, what about the fact that Manafort lives in Trump Tower, where she spends most of her time? It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

          • Hutch

            Yep, they’re there together… manning the pinging server to Alfa Bank in Russia. No wonder Melania’s eyes are so squinty. Someone call Mark Levin!

  • ManchuCandidate

    Tinyfinger.
    He’s the man, the man with the bankrupt touch.
    A rapist’s touch.
    Beckons you to enter his web of sin

    But don’t go in
    Angry words he will pour in your ear
    But his lies can’t disguise what you fear
    For a (compromised) FBI comish knows when he’s tweeted him
    It’s the tweet of death from

    Mr Tinyfinger

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Underneath all this, is the fact that there is no real Russia anymore, just a small cabal of thieves who have stolen almost half of the wealth of Russia, laundered it, and are using it to figure out how to steal more of the world’s wealth. The old, refigured KGB is their strongarm. The only way the whole trump phenomenon makes sense is if he is one of that mafia, along with the billionaires he’s appointed to positions in his administration…

    • Asterix

      Which is why Trump admires Putin. Given that Trump is a whole lot dumber than Putin, and never served in the KGB, Trump is making a complete clusterfuck outta this.

      And, Putin wins. He wanted a destablized America, he got it. I doubt it cost him very much.

    • SnarkON

      By your logic (which I agree with BTW) there is no real America anymore, either.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        There is a real America. It’s us. Decent American citizens. And we’re using the peaceful means allowed to us by the Constitution to fight back.

    • Lefty Frizzell

      Trump as Fredo Corleone? Could be…he was too dumb to even keep a fake capo job where he didn’t have to do anything.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Trump’s not smart enough to be in management. At best he’d be the kind of mid-level mob bagman he used to use himself.

  • SnarkON

    Until Trump calls something “bigger than the Beatles!” it’s totally not worth paying attention.

  • Skaarphy

    The GOP strategy as of today: Wait until Trump has dug himself enough holes that his approval ratings are at about 30%, and only his most fanatical followers – i.e The Unhinged Ones – still suck up his every word, then impeach him and install Pence as POTUS. Problem solved.

    • Ah, something coherent to protest against!

    • SnarkON

      I would be thrilled to have Pence at this point. That’s how low the bar is for me.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        The real fight will begin then. Pence is none too bright, but he is predictable. His performance at the Gridiorn event was either a good cop/bad cop or ” Media you’ll have a normal relationship with me when I take over”

  • MynameisBlarney
    • TJ Barke

      Are we great again, yet?

      • GoutMachine

        Not quite, but I am sick of all the #winning.

    • PubOption

      Pepe The Frog is a Radical Islamic Terrorist?

  • Martini Ambassador

    Article in “The Hill,”Juan Williams: Time for a special prosecutor

    Spoiler Alert: This political thriller ends with the president’s top aides striking plea bargains with federal prosecutors to reduce prison sentences.

    http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/45958481.jpg

    • Lefty Frizzell

      Haha. Number one. Oh never mind.

    • MynameisBlarney

      “I’ll be in my ready room, making number two. You have the bridge.”

      • The Wanderer

        “Making Number Two?” So he’s been rogering Data on the sly?

        • MynameisBlarney

          Well, Data IS programmed for sexy times.
          Just ask Tasha Yar.

          • The Wanderer

            Once she got coherent again.
            There was a panel from a Barbarella comic, where Our Heroine had just had sexy times with a robot and said something very complimentary about his performance. “Madam is too kind,” the robot said, “I know there is something . . . mechanical about my movements.”

          • MynameisBlarney
          • The Wanderer

            (giggles)

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Nah, number 2 is Riker. Of course, he could be a beard.

  • exinkwretch

    I, for one, believe whatever the tinfoil-tiara-ed twats at Blightfart regurgitate. The rest of the MSM is fake news!

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      My related investigations revealed that Tinfoil tiaras make extremely poor Faraday cages. Just sayin’.

      But then, empty craniums do not need shielding anyway, so there’s that.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • TJ Barke

      That right there is what a useful idiot looks like.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        Useful?

    • Martini Ambassador

      And she’ll call herself a true American patriot, without irony.

    • Shanzgood

      OMFG

    • The Wanderer

      “Here we see Mrs. B. J. Smegma, of Knight’s Cross, Iron Cross Nevada. She are A Moran.”

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      I think we have a new classic Moran pic here.

      • MynameisBlarney

        That, or she is trolling the turmps.

        • TJ Barke

          Who can fucking tell anymore…?

    • Why are deranged Lerechauns supporting the shitgibbon?

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        Something something…grab ’em by the Lucky Charms…

    • Greyhame

      Jesus, we didn’t even have to trick this one into flying the Russian flag.

    • memzilla Ω

      “Come for the treasonous behavior… stay for the fascism!”

    • Bill D. Burger
    • SadDemInTex
    • janecita

      Is she wearing a tin foil hat?

    • Rick Hill

      Never asking how much or what’s the cost.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Here’s some video from that rally–unfuckingbelievable.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJeugIJFXas

      • Bill D. Burger

        10 of…of people attending Turnip rallys nationwide. And the person who could charge Hoverounds made the most money.

      • janecita

        Wtf was going on there?

        • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

          Someone got into the monkey house.

          I don’t think I’ve ever seen that kind of behavior from alleged humans.

      • puredog

        That’s in LAKE OSWEGO? Shudder.

        • The Wanderer

          (sings unnecessarily)
          “Oswego
          Into the wild blue yonder . . . “

      • Mr. Blobfish

        Holy crap.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        And the irony is that by benefit of living where they do, they’re all on welfare. The city pays their bills. They’re a little gerrymandered failing red state smack in the middle of a blue one, and they only hold the power they do because the Democrats, like everyone else, hate Andrew Cuomo and he needs friends.

    • janecita

      She is got one thing right though, she is deplorable.

    • Fartknocker

      How sad it is to be this myopic and frankly, ignorant. On the other hand, I’m glad I don’t spend holiday meals with her.

    • The Wanderer

      Bets on whether she sues the news agency for taking her picture, “because it puts her in a bad light?”

    • Shibusa
  • OrG

    Sorry sillyanne Sarah psycho is the new queen of bullshit.

  • The Librarian

    The sinking ship Trump.

  • eka

    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/03/06/us/politics/supreme-court-transgender-rights-case.html

    “In a one-sentence order, the Supreme Court vacated an appeal’s court decision in favor of a transgender boy, Gavin Grimm, and sent the case back for further consideration in light of the new guidance from the Trump administration.”

    • Undocumented Skwerl!

      They actually should do that. This will bring into question the new guidance from the Trump administration since such a Title IX guidance carries the weight of law. This will bring the guidance under immediate scrutiny and allow Grimm to possible change his arguments to include 14th and 4th Amendment violations and strengthen his case.

  • doingthis1moretime

    This whole administration and our government have become a giant circle jerk of people jerking each other off and someone else getting pissed that that jerk off was better than theirs. What a fucking embarrassment.

  • Bill Slider

    By the time the media, international intelligence and voters figure out, What’s up, it will be time to re-elect the son-of-a-bitch, and so, they will.

  • Hutch

    Everyone (in their right minds — like y’all) is trying to look at Trump from the perspective of reason, normality, and seriousness. If you look at what Trump has done in his entire adult life — from outrageous rants against anyone famous on Howard Stern clear back in the 80s, to the whole birther nonsense and the ridiculous things he promised during his campaign — it’s all of a piece. It is just who Trump is and it all defies reason, normality, and seriousness. He’s an entertainer — a song-and-dance man, as Mel Brooks recently observed — and he just foments controversy for controversy’s sake. He’s not going to change. It’s all he knows how to do. And it’s not diversions or strategy or cunning — it’s just loud, obnoxious, attention-seeking, public disturbance — and it means nothing. Or rather, it didn’t until he became president. Now, it’s dangerous — and particularly so with the folks he’s surrounded himself with. Who most likely understand Trump and will take advantage of him to promote their own agendas.

    I need more coffee.

    • Me not sure
      • cmd resistor

        Looks awful and I’m sure overpriced.

      • PubOption

        Why no gold foil?

        • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

          They had to keep the price point under $100 per cup.

    • Oblios_Cap

      A song and dunce man is more correct.

    • Crystalclear12

      This is mostly an Irish coffee blog.

      • Hutch

        Erin go fuckin’ bragh! *hic*

        • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

          This is Wonkette. Ergo, Erin go braghless and BigBoppa go pantless.

      • The Wanderer

        Jameson’s!

    • The Wanderer

      He’s not Howard Hill from The Music Man; he’s the guy Buddy Hackett played.

      • The guy who sang Shipoopy!

        • The Wanderer

          Yes!

          • I don’t remember the character’s name, but i do know the song.

          • The Wanderer

            (looks it up) Marcellus Washburn. And I was mistooken; it’s Harold, not Howard.

          • I totally missed that in your OP. I worked on a production of that my last year of high school, i had to stand in a couple of times for people who missed rehersals so i still know the train opener quite well

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • Carpe Vagenda

      It is. And I wonder if Trump’s Sikh supporters are starting to realize that they don’t have the slot they assumed they would in the new world order.

    • PubOption

      Another cowboy shoots another Indian.

    • Red Bird Ω

      I’m worried that this will become more common and will be under reported.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    First spin-off of the new Trump TLC reality show-“Here Comes HuckaBoo Boo”.

    • Bill D. Burger
      • janecita

        Poor Sarah Huckabee, she looks exactly like her father.

        • snigsy

          “Pudgy White” paint chip.

          • Bill D. Burger

            I think the whole family had lots of lead-filled paint chips for snacks.

      • Martini Ambassador
        • The Witch of Endor

          It’s been a while since I’ve visited Landover Baptist Church. I should probably do that.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          shallow

          Just, no, with the Veronica Lake meets Betty Rubble at Cornelia Wallace’s hairdresser TX cheerleader circa 1978 do from the Today show appearance.

          /shallow

          Coming from someone whose family tries to install a theocracy when they’re not torturing pets, the blasphemy wasn’t great either.

  • Crystalclear12

    I am starting to think Comedy may suck at his job.

  • BMW

    “I can’t believe I helped this jerk.”
    -James Comey (probably)

  • azeyote

    hey Comey what about those e-mails ya fuckin putz –

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    About that projection thing: Who is the Drumpf camp bugging, is my question.

    • They bug the shit out me.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Chaffetz….McConnell…..Nunez….need I go on?…

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • snigsy

      I am shocked, shocked!

    • Amelia

      Trying to stop the accusations of libel, I suppose.

    • OrG

      Sue him Barry! We don’t even need to loosen the libel laws.

      • Roadstergal

        Don’t you have to show that the falsehoods hurt the person in question? Because nothing Donnie does can make Obama look bad.

    • magyar of infinite power

      That’s reassuring

  • MynameisBlarney

    We expected no less from the Chafenutz.

    https://twitter.com/foxandfriends/status/838768549132816385

    • mfp

      fuck this guy

      • snigsy

        My thought exactly.

    • My eyes glazed over and i now have blood all over my hands. What did i miss?

    • Medusa

      So the idea of Obama tapping Trump makes Chaff-y hard ?

    • Bill D. Burger

      Amazing and predictable. I actually joked that Chaffetz/Issa/Gowdy will investigate Trump’s lies and obviously idiotic allegations the day the orange POS made them. I THOUGHT it was a joke. And now it begins? Fucking unbelievable.

      The Russia/Trump connection:

      Chaffetz: “I see no need to investigate any matter of Russian involvement with the White House. The Flynn matter is taking care of itself.’

      Utah Rep. Jason Chaffetz has 43 investigations planned — not one of them is Trump-related
      By Tom Hamburger The Washington Post

      http://www.sltrib.com/home/4885163-155/story.html

    • GoutMachine

      Oh yeah, notorious for this type of stuff. Everyone knows it! I remember all those wiretapping stories from 2009. Seems like every week there was some report about Obama’s use of illegal wiretaps.

      • cmd resistor

        Me, too. What an ass.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Notorious for going to FISA courts and getting warrants?

      • Roadstergal

        Notorious for doing things in accordance with the Constitution? What a maverick.

    • Kiri the Paid Protestor

      *mutters to himself*
      Trebuchet? Steamroller? Wood chipper? All of them, Katie?

      • MynameisBlarney

        Don’t forget the Acme catapults.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Petard.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      In the immortal words of SpongeBob https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/90b377987608d4ed0328f9dde39c87f45863049a46b130fae1148b53db6c2372.jpg
      The press will not let go, and the public won’t either.

    • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend

      What was that? You’re going to aim your hard-on at it?

    • Rick Hill

      Notorious for never having a scandal they could investigate. Got it.

  • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend

    Could it be the Schaden is about to hit the Freude?

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      I believe someone already got Schaden in my Freude…

      • Hutch

        Hey, your Freude is in my Schaden! And it’s delicious!

      • GoutMachine

        We are here at Teh Wonkettz, where we’ve secretly replaced the fine Schaden they usually serve with Folgers Crystals Freude.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      I am thinking that the Scheisse is about to hit the fan, also too.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    You’re forgetting one important science fact: Donald Trump is never wrong.

    • I am think about this as a Science March sign:

      Trump is just like an atom. He makes up everything.

      • PubOption

        His spin quantum number is yooouuuge.

    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      Nope, wrong universe, sorry. In this reality, Trump is never right.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Two things, maybe? Since everyone is being super careful about what they say and how they say it, Comey didn’t, I don’t think, exactly say that no warrant existed. He said that the warrant *Trump described*, which was requested by Obama, didn’t exist. Also too, he might not be able to speak to the warrant as head of the FBI if the NSA were the ones requesting it.

    Or he could just be stirring shit up because nobody’s going to cry or look too hard if he joins the polonium martyrs to the cause of disappearing Vlad’s excellent adventure. Hard to tell.

    • Hutch

      My cyber friend at DOD is pointing a finger at NSA. I don’t know what to think.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        That would match with the article in The Independent linked here by someone. NSA overheard several conversations by Russians discussing collaboration with the Trump campaign.

      • Medusa

        Apparently NSA obtained their FISA warrant before FBI …

  • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

    Vlad:
    ебать твою мать
    yebat’ tvoyu mat’

    (Fuck your mother!)

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8b2647c61c917e9dd4c3f07e502fb8edddb255d4b79d6148ba1ed47a9d1c38f5.png

    • puredog

      Anybody else notice how Tom Tomorrow has pivoted from humor and satire to just reporting the news straight?

      • Roadstergal

        Him and The Onion.

  • YoBunnyBunny

    Kellyanne Conway even told Fox News Comey should issue his own statement on the alleged wiretapping, because “we know he’s not shy.”

    So basically: We know what kinda fame whore you are, Comey! Go on! Shake it for Papa!!!

    I almost feel bad about that the Administration is laughing in his face… But not really…

    • Carpe Vagenda

      I don’t feel bad at all. His bloated ego may have been the tipping point that slid us into this cesspool. I hope they goad the useful idiot fool into such a rage that he forgets that this is the outcome he sold his soul to achieve.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        Or he was so terrified of a Republican Congress that he didn’t keep the information to himself.

  • Shibusa

    Just saw this headline on WaPo:
    New executive order bans travelers from six Muslim-majority countries applying for visas

  • Martini Ambassador
  • weejee

    And FWIW, if Nobummer did tap tRump, all of the FISA judges, who would have signed the warrant, were appointed by that socialist, aborted fetus-dripping Chief Justice John Roberts.

  • Shibusa

    https://twitter.com/BraddJaffy/status/838602019820691456
    And America’s armchair patriots cheer Pumpkin Pinochet on.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    Let’s see…

    Flynn lied about contacts with Russians and discussing lifting sanctions
    Sessions lied under oath about contacts with Russians
    Trump always lies, and has financial ties to Russian former spies, oligarchs and mobsters.

    • OrG

      I see a pattern.

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        Where? It’s Obama again, right?

        Sincerely, Jason Chaffetz.

  • Red Bird Ω

    Wait. If Comey quits and they replace him with some Trump loyalist. Does that mean they will lie to protect Trump?

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      Comey ain’t quitting. If he resigns, he was fired.

    • Medusa

      Comey has to have a plan in mind in case he gets fired… or else he would not have publicly indicated that Trump is full of shit…
      apparently he has agreed to give the Senate Intelligence Committee some raw intel… but that is not sufficient to ensure the investigations would continue in Comey ‘s absence

      • Red Bird Ω

        So he should have stayed quiet?

      • Darlene Underdahl

        Could he be planning a book?

    • Shibusa

      He will likely replace Comey with a yes-man loyalist if Comey gets pushed out.

  • Apple Scruff

    LOL James Comey. You broke it, you buy it.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
  • DesertedPictures

    To late Comey: you already where kingmaker to this president. Now you’ll have to live with the results.

  • OrG

    New Muslim ban today. So that’s what this shit is REALLY about.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Sure. Congress will start investigating this when they wrap up the 3 million illeagle voter investigation.

  • never_wore_zubaz

    The GOP are still the nefarious bastards behind all of this.

    #neverforget2016

  • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

    Kind of pathetic how all the Trumpanistas in Opposite World are rubbing their hands believing that Obama is going to jail for this. They really don’t inhabit the same universe.

    • Medusa

      And unfortunately we have become hostages forced to exist in their universe

  • folderol

    It’s really hard to be as incompetent as this administration is. Unfortunately, I said the same thing when GW was president.

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