(I've searched on here prior to posting. But I still need to post this. This might be a LONG post for some of you, so I'm warning you now.)

Man, sometimes I feel SUPER LONELY and just wish I was "acceptable enough" looking to women instead of the short ug-mug that I am (I posted pics on here before). But as I watch more and more of these MGTOW videos and posts, I am thinking more and more that this 'curse' of being short, ugly, and physically undesirable to women is more of a gift and curse. It's like (and don't hate me for this), I feel as if there were just GOOD DECENT WOMEN left in the West - those who aren't snatched up in high school that is, then there would be no issue, no gripe. But just finding one GOOD, SELFLESS, ALTRUISTIC woman nowadays is like finding a needle in a haystack the size of Texas. It really is that bad and I say that as objectively and without bias as possible. Feminism is mostly to blame, but my generation of narcissistic millennial assholes, along with social media fueling this narcissistic, has also made things as bad. Along with, of course, horny men who sell their balls to avoid being lonely. Believe me, I've been real close to that point, at times. However, being completely undateable is the reason I never went to that point of just being a slave to marriage. I mean, fuck! I know real, true men - MANLY-ASS MEN - who were marines and Navy SEALS and shit, turned into chihuahuas and neutered poodles, just by getting married. It's absolutely insane!

I'll admit, though. I do get lonely AF sometimes. It especially gets SUPER ANNOYING on Reddit, where you'll be in a completely different subreddit and have some obnoxious beta fuckboy or feminist cunt look deep into your history for... "reasons" before ever responding to you, and then go "I saw you posted in MGTOW once. You're a sack of shit! Fuck you! You deserve to die alone and be raped by wolves," followed by claims of misogyny and shit. I had a moderator of /r/sex do this to me! Someone who had no business "looking into my post history", then going back MONTHS down to line, to send me some long-ass "shaming" message that had literally nothing to do with anything on the subreddit, followed by "I should block you just for posting that shit." Obviously she was a feminist piece of shit, but I didn't even bother to read the whole thing before I blocked her and the subreddit. But that's what I'm saying. Women nowadays try to shame the ever-living-fuck out of you for being lonely and wanting to be a good man in a good relationship, only to be shot down for not being a big enough beta-male to capitulate to their demands and chop your own balls for them AND barbecue them for her for dinner, and then BLAME YOU for still wanting to have dignity and integrity whole being in a relationship! The whole shaming bullshit!

As I learn more about MGTOW, I'm learning more and more that modern women - mainly, feminists - use shaming as their weapon of choice. And men often fall for it, as we are a prideful bunch. We get told what being a "real man" is, yet are also told to give all that up to be with a woman. It's like casino currency. Save up enough "manbucks" to be valuable and have enough high "market value" to impress a woman, then spend ALL that shit on a woman and get turned into a neutered beta-male for her. Oh, and get shamed and shit on by feminist pieces of shit for not playing the game of working your ass off for manbucks and spending it all, along with selling your Independence and happiness, on a vagina. And all I keep thinking is, "If good women still existed and were out there, NONE OF THIS WOULD BE A PROBLEM."

I guess, my whole point is, I still keep holding onto the idea of a "good Western woman." At least one that is still single. And that's where my dissonance comes from. Because I've ALWAYS been stubborn at giving up. I'm very persistent and a glutton for punishment in that regard. And that's what makes me lonely, at times. The hope that "good women still exist out there." After all, 78% of women reject feminism and aren't feminists, after all. You'd think of that 78%, at least SOME of them would still actually like men and believe in the idea of ROMANCE and not using a man, whether she admits to it or not. And I mean women besides the extreme tradcons from the South with big blonde hair and size 2 waists (most of them are taken, anyway).

It's a simple question and the reason I haven't gone 100% full MGTOW yet: "Do ANY good genuine (Western) women still exist out there?" Regardless, I've taken the pill so to speak and know the truth. I'll never get married. However, I still get lonely and still seek a relationship, even though I now know not to sell my integrity and Independence for a woman and to take a hike if she ever wants me to give that up. But I still wonder about it.