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If there is one thing “Coach” Dave Daubenmire does not want — other than trans people peeing in Target bathrooms — it is Rachel Maddow giving him advice. He explained this on his YouTube broadcast on Thursday, in front of a green screen showing a football stadium.

As you may know, at one time he was indeed a high school football coach, but was dismissed from that job following an ACLU lawsuit over the fact that he forced his team to pray with him before games. Now he just pretends. With green screens. And probably little plastic soldier men.

Now, the reason Daubenmire will not be taking advice from Rachel Maddow, he explains, is because he is so much smarter than her. He knows this, because she is not even smart enough to know she is supposed to love MEN, not women! Silly, silly Rachel Maddow!

“Hey, Rachel, are you listening? I’m supposed to take advice from you and you don’t even know that you’re supposed to love a man? You don’t even have that figured out and yet you’re supposed to give me advice about the world? You’re telling me that you’re on MSNBC and you’re giving advice to the world and you don’t even know who you’re supposed to love? Are you kidding me? You don’t even know how plumbing works?”

Woah, he has really got her there! Clearly, the only reason people are gay is because no one ever done told them they were supposed to be loving people of the opposite sex. They just don’t know! They are not smart like how Coach Dave Daubenmire is smart! He knows how plumbing works, and also that you are supposed to do sex the same way you do plumbing — with plungers and Drano. As the good lord intended.

I made a concerted effort to figure out what, exactly, Daubenmire thought Rachel Maddow was giving him advice about. Was she doing this through MSNBC, or through his neighbor’s dog?

I listened to like three minutes of him ranting prior to making that statement, trying to figure this out, and all I got was some nonsense about how he buys his reading glasses at the Dollar Store and how even though there are people watching this who think he is just a dumb cow poke and not smart (and high school students who think he is a bullfrog?), he is too smart and so was his Dad! And all of us are dumb! And also some random Eagles lyrics. That sounds like a joke, but he did, in fact, quote Hotel California. Because, much like said Hotel California, everyone who is not hep to what Dave Daubenmire is throwing down is just “programmed to receive.” Which is just the kind of profound statement I feel like one does not hear much outside of the dorm rooms of stoners?

What any of that has to do with Rachel Maddow, I haven’t the slightest. Maybe he is mad because he thinks that Rachel Maddow thinks she is smarter than he is when really, her mind is Tiffany-twisted and she’s got the Mercedes Benz? And also a lot of pretty, pretty boys that she calls friends, you know, because she’s a lesbian and therefore not dating any of them? It is a mystery!

(Full disclosure: I did once a cover of Hotel California for a play. LAUGH IT UP, WONKERS.)

He later went on to yell a bunch about trans people in bathrooms, because that’s kind of his whole schtick, because he is definitely not stupid or a bullfrog or a cowpoke or any of those other things. He is just a jackass.

[RightWingWatch / CoachDaveTV on YouTube]

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  • Mavenmaven

    These are the Trump supporters we are supposed to “reach out” to.
  • Persistent Demme

    Don’t project your dumb on our Rachel.

  • BosGrl

    Rachel is the smartest person on TV; everything she reports is sourced; she isn’t obnoxious and she doesn’t call names, so this is all they have to use against her.

    • ziggywiggy

      It never fails in the comments under any story from her show you’ll get some idiot thinking he is oh-so clever and calling her a boy. These cowards can’t debate any point this very intelligent woman makes so they go for the easiest insult their little heads can conceive. They think with their little heads and by that I mean penis.

  • memzilla Ω

    …and high school students who think he is a bullfrog?

    No, no. Jeremiah was a bullfrog.

    • Painter of Swedish Tragedies

      It’s true. He was a good friend of mine.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Frog made no sense. Probably the wine.

        • Amy!

          He always did have some mighty fine wine, right?

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Joyous.

    • BosGrl

      In fact, I’m always helping him to drink his wine

    • OneYieldRegular

      The fishes in the deep blue sea are positively joyous about it.

      • ziggywiggy

        Well you know I love the ladies, actually both Rachel and I love the ladies.

    • proudgrampa
    • FlownΩver

      Hello, my baby
      Hello, my honey
      Hello, my ragtime gal

      • Jonny On Maui
        • FlownΩver

          Eventually WB gave him the name Michigan J. Frog, IIRC.

        • proudgrampa

          You found it!

        • Mike Steele

          Best. Cartoon. Ever.

      • Like every time my cats talk and nobody is around. Yes, it may be the fine Oregon weed, but still…

  • OneYieldRegular

    Daubinmire?

    More like soaking in it.

  • Another white dude who never gets laid pissed off there is a woman he will never get.
    Surprise!

  • Hutch

    What’s with the team hat for the Fightin’ Crucifixes?

  • orygoon

    I’ve always been a heterosexual female but like, I suspect, every heterosexual female, it is crystal clear to me that homosexuality would have so many points in its favor.

    • BosGrl

      I have a serious girl crush on Rachel! Smart is very attractive.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Not least that your partner most likely doesn’t think of your genitals as a delivery system for their spooge.

  • proudgrampa

    What?

    From under what rock did this creature crawl?

    • doktorzoom

      He’s been a thing in the wingnuttosphere for a while. Evan and Robyn were saying yesterday in the chatcave that he once hinted God might call him to suicide-bomb a Target restroom, because of the trans people.

  • Crystalclear12

    And now it’s med time!

    Seriously, aren’t there medications that help with his condition?

    • Painter of Swedish Tragedies

      They gave them all to Dampnut to make him “presidential” for the State of the Union. They have since worn off and apparently there aren’t any more.

  • Painter of Swedish Tragedies

    I wish this idiot and his racist homophobic ilk would check into the Hotel California. Then they could never leave. Since the damn rapture isn’t happening fast enough.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      We don’t want him. We like Hotel California.

      • Querolous

        He should plant himself at Motel Hell.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Last time I checked, Rachel Maddow was a journalist, not an advice columnist FFS…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ef3c8ad70edca5132d239957d0b059b2d1bfc7bddba9f635a52598c34814a842.jpg

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Ooh, who’s that. They’re purty.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        Pretty sure the doctor on criminal minds.

  • OrG

    What are the odds he’s a closet case?

    • Pinkham’s Law

      WE DON’T WANT HIM ON OUR TEAM! YOU CAN’T MAKE US TAKE HIM!

  • Jon Sussex

    I have a new favorite version of Hotel California.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Because, much like said Hotel California, everyone who is not hep to what Dave Daubenmire is throwing down is just “programmed to receive.” Which is just the kind of profound statement I feel like one does not hear much outside of the dorm rooms of stoners?

    or from Betsy DeVos.

    Did he say if she was supposed to love men because they were nice guys?

  • Thorn Spike

    Coach with a cross hat. I stopped there.

  • Rick Hill

    Doesn’t know how the plumbing works? Pfffft. I’m quite certain Rachel can use the googles as well as anyone else can
    http://wrghomes.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/brilliant-1000-images-about-kitchen-sink-on-pinterest-intended-for-kitchen-sink-plumbing.jpg

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    Human bodies are nothing like toilets, pipes, sewers, sinks, or aqueducts. You guys I think he’s an alien. Where are his papers???

  • BloviateMe

    Oh Dave, I have it on good authority your unnatural love for Jesus in unrequited, and unnatural.

    • proudgrampa

      I always think that the most vehemently anti-gay people are really protesting too much…

  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    I heard this guy is on the short list to be Trump’s Communications Director. Clear concise messages to the people.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    “I’ll match my degrees with yours. I’d love to get on there with that man/woman/man on MSNBC—Maddow—I’d love to get on there with that dude.”

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5f23379171fcca98c93ab213134bbc12b9ca09dcf110f4754a5945e09aed89b9.jpg

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      Oxford IS in Mississippi, after all.

      • OrG

        I thought it was a shoe.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I’d like to see her dope slap this asshole with her Rhodes scholarship.

      • The Wanderer

        He’ll probably think that a Rhodes scholarship meant that she’s authorized to fill in potholes.

  • TJ Barke

    Yeah, people don’t choose to be attracted to whatever, fucknuts, they are or they aren’t.

    • Painter of Swedish Tragedies

      In his case, they aren’t.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      No, no. Don’t you remember that day in 6th grade, when they gave everybody a worksheet to figure out which genitals they found more interesting?

  • doktorzoom

    Today I learned that the lyrics really are “Her mind is Tiffany-twisted.”

    • Chyron HR

      But why does she keep Joey and Chandler in her pretty cabinet?

    • Pinkham’s Law

      I must confess, I am now curious: what did you think they were?

      • BloviateMe

        “infinitely twisted” I’d wager.

        • DahBoner

          Definitely twisted, they got the Mercedes Bends

      • Scrofula

        Hermione’s infantly whisk’ed.

      • doktorzoom

        I never really thought about it..thought it was something something “and twisted” but never really came up with my own mondegreen.

        • FlownΩver

          I always heard “diff’rently twisted,” but my ears were trashed out years before that.

        • OneYieldRegular

          I just looked up the origin of that term – hilarious!

    • OrG

      But do you know the lyrics to “Life in the Vaseline”?

      • “Gypsies, Chimpanzees!”
        -CHER

        • Querolous

          “Slow counting Walter, a friar in disguise.”

    • Carpe Vagenda

      No, really? I totally mondegreened that. I thought it was dipping and twisting.

      • BosGrl

        I learned a new word today! I always just said I screwed up the lyrics.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Oh, I love that word.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Is that supposed to be a Calista Gingrich kind of condition?

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Lesser Tiffany-mind libulz!

    • doktorzoom

      Now I’m going to spend the rest of the day at KissThisGuy.com. Thanks, internet.

      “Warm smell of policemen / rising up through the air”

      • BloviateMe

        I genuinely thought “Big ol’ jet airliner” was “we don’t shed that light on” for an embarrassingly long time.

        • doktorzoom

          Silly! It’s really “Big ol’ Jed had a light on!”

          • BloviateMe

            I’m tragically unhip.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            The Tragically Hipless- the band that performed with walkers

      • TheFamilyThalamus

        Should we even wade into the lyrics of “Afternoon Delight?” Remember the Starland Vocal Band?

      • Mike Steele

        Best one from former workmate: There’s a (bad moon on the rise) bathroom on the right…

      • FlownΩver

        Pay attention, or you’ll miss it when the girl with colitis goes by.

      • Sandy Beaches

        Old davo seems to be wrapped up like a douche, another nutter in the night.

      • Sandy Beaches

        https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kluV2ieirr4 misheard lyrics of the clash’s, “complete control.”

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      I keep finding out that the real lyrics to songs are worse than the ones I made up.

    • Serai 1

      What did you think they were?

    • yyyaz

      You and me and Leslie.

  • Ralph Edington

    Screw “coach dave”, the man is a brain-infected idiot. But I really dug your cover, Robyn! No laughing here…

  • The Wanderer
  • alwayspunkindrublic

    I hate the fucking Eagles.

  • Rick Hill
    • Scrofula

      I don’t think holy coach knows you can you can use the vent pipe, with french fries or otherwise.

      • Rick Hill

        I was just thinking that that may be a gay donut. You can’t tell by the pixels

        • Scrofula

          Well it don’t look like no vagina, that’s for sure.

          • Rick Hill

            Well, duh. Buncha lefties around here, so gay even the lesbians don’t like the pssies

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Clean up in Aisle Five!

  • DahBoner
  • UnsaltedSinner

    • In fake Coach terms that’s a 2 minute warning, or what his wife calls “lovemaking.”

    • Carpe Vagenda

      I am so pissed that Susan Sarandon is stinking up the Baby Jane series. I would love to see Jessica Lange play Joan Crawford.

      • Serai 1

        Oh, I do NOT give a shit. I’m seeing that thing. It looks awesome.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Yeah, everything else about it does. I just can’t see her without getting angrier than I think is good for me.

          • Serai 1

            I stopped letting RL stuff interfere with my enjoyment of art a long time ago. If I cut out every artist who was a shithead, I wouldn’t have anything left to watch except Mr. Rogers and the Muppets.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            OK, I think that maybe you’re discounting the white-hot rage thing. I’m not watching her in anything because I don’t think it’s good for *me*

          • Serai 1

            Oh, I hear you. Lots of people feel that way. I’m pissed at her, too, very much so. I’ve just been through the “Christ he’s an asshole I can’t watch his stuff” so many times I had to stop doing it, for the reason stated. WAY too many idiotic assholes in the arts to continue. Somewhere along the way, I threw a switch in there and now I can make the break. Doesn’t mean there aren’t people I can’t stand to watch, though – it just doesn’t have to do with what they’re like in RL.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            I would be perfectly happy if 95% of my viewing was Turner Classic Movies and their new streaming service, so it’s not really much of a loss for me.

      • UnsaltedSinner

        Sarandon’s a moran, but she can definitely act. I don’t mind listening to her as long as other people write the words that come out of her mouth.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          I just can’t. I wish her ill to an extent which leaves me sick to my stomach.

      • Robyn Pennacchia

        I am annoyed with her too — but I do feel like she’s a good casting decision. Also, I looooooove Jessica Lange, but I am very much hoping she doesn’t go camp with this. I am *very* protective of Joan Crawford, particularly with all of Christina’s bullshit.

        I am also VERY UNSURE about how I feel about all of this because honestly a lot of the “feud” was apocryphal and kind of pumped up by the studios. I love Ryan Murphy but I’m not sure to what extent I trust him with this. It kind of irks me that this is what a thing on them focuses on, when there’s actually so much more to both of them than “OH! They were catty bitches!”

        • Carpe Vagenda

          There was a certain amount of tension between them, reportedly, over Franchot Tone, who dated Bette but married Joan (although not sure how much Joan won there – he said later “She’s like that old joke about Philadelphia: First prize, 4 years with Joan. Second prize, 8 years with her.”).

          But yeah, Joan had a shitty time. And even at the time when I initially read it, Christina’s book annoyed me. So, her mom’s out of her contract, supporting a huge house and four children in private school with no idea if she’s even going to work again, and that bitch made Christina wear old underwear under her new formal dress. Pages of that. Like, really?

          Myrna Loy seemed like a good egg, and she was very protective of Crawford (they were chorus dancers together) w/r/t Christina. Even Davis was.

  • bupkus23

    “…on his YouTube broadcast on Thursday…”

    Geez – I long for that days that crackpots like him only had “Letters to the Editors” of their local fishwrapper in which to spew their idiocy ( and, face it, most editors wouldn’t print the offensive shit ).

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Stating the obvious: the hat is a tell.

    • The Wanderer

      Modern equivalent of wearing one’s heart on their sleeve.

    • Rick Hill

      What’s the “t” stand for?

      • The Wanderer

        Lower case Trump.

      • TheFamilyThalamus

        Twit.

    • BosGrl

      The hat is a till.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Why is it always the pretty boys that get to hang out with the cool, smart lesbians?

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Totally. Jealousy regarding a club in which he’ll never be a member.

  • Sardonicuss

    I recall listening to an old girlfriend drunkenly belting out a rendition of Stairway to Heaven….and the beer sneeze I had when she reached the lyric…”and there’s a wino on the road”.

    • Scrofula

      Like “if there’s a bustle in your hedgerow, don’t be alarmed now, it’s a just a spring-clean for the Mayqueen” was written sober.

      • Sardonicuss

        Still, don’t see how “winos” fits into the nonsensical psychedelic love ballad..but??

  • SeekingResistanceBarbie

    Wingnut Jerkoff doesn’t know the difference between love and sex. Plenty of heterosexuals, and he is likely one of them, don’t love the opposite sex.

    • Scrofula

      If you enjoy it, it’s a SIN.

      • Correction – if she enjoys it, it’s a SIN.

        • yyyaz

          Moar sin, less win please.

    • BosGrl

      They don’t know the difference between orientation and gender either.

      • SeekingResistanceBarbie

        Or agape and eros.

        • BosGrl

          I had to look that up but agape is a great word that I am now going to use all the time.

          • yyyaz

            Caution, it is one of the xtains’ come-to-jeeblebrox faves.

          • BosGrl

            Yeah, I read the whole Wikipedia entry… I’ll be careful!

      • Querolous

        Orientation? isn’t that what Orientals do, per Michael J. “Mike” Bost?

  • Jeffocaster in the desert
  • msanthropesmr

    I hate the fucking eagles.

    • Jeffocaster in the desert

      “get over it, get over it!”

      • msanthropesmr

        I believe the correct response is “get the hell out of my cab.”

        • Jeffocaster in the desert

          Yes, true. I bow to your total dudeness.

          • doktorzoom

            This is what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps.

          • msanthropesmr

            Sing eidleweiss?

          • Jeffocaster in the desert

            No, sing “Oh sweet mystery of life I have found you.”

      • msanthropesmr

        Oh, and so did Southside Johnny.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Some asshole already said that further down the thread.

      • Scrofula

        ANd yet no one’s posted a Big Liebowski meme yet.

        • msanthropesmr

          Shut the fuck up, scrofula.

          • Scrofula

            n/m

          • msanthropesmr

            He’s in training right now learning how not to be an asshole in the leash.

          • Scrofula

            I’m training to finish my coffee before reading comments.

        • doktorzoom

          My favorite Lebowski reference: the 100th episode of MLP, which was basically a cavalcade of fandom in-jokes, brought back the Lebowski ponies who had been briefly in the background of one episode a couple years before. The episode ends with a wedding; in attendance are Dude pony and Walter pony, but not Donnie pony. Walter pony is, however, holding a coffee can…

          https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1eac69be2114ea38f6556f6cbf50c7b986acea05995b0d125802a2a976b9f45b.jpg

          • msanthropesmr

            You are an odd man.

          • BloviateMe

            Some of us have been chronicling his inexorable descent into madness. It’s a fascinating study.

          • msanthropesmr

            I’d still much rather have Dok as precedent.

          • BloviateMe

            Agreed. 3am tweets arguing about who’s best pony is much more innocuous than what we currently have.

          • doktorzoom

            It’s a dirty job but someone’s gotta do it.

          • Scrofula

            WOW. You really watch these, don’t you!

          • doktorzoom

            Credit where due: it was Kid who noticed Donny was missing, and we only saw the coffee can when we went back to the scene on Tivo.

      • msanthropesmr

        Does the asshole DRI k expensive beer and make furniture?

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Get the hell out of my cab.

    • Jeffocaster in the desert

      But no one fucks with the Jesus.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Coach Dave is now going to run for a seat in the European Parliament, from Poland. http://www.dw.com/en/weaker-smaller-less-intelligent-women-deserve-less-than-men-polish-mep-states/a-37794898

  • SeekingResistanceBarbie

    Counterpoint, Haters: I like the Eagles (music).

    • msanthropesmr

      Well, you’re wrong.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Want to know the one thing worse than the Eagles? (besides Nickelback)

        An Eagles Tribute band

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Dude…a friend of mine is playing in one. I give him SO much shit about it.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            lol, I’ve mixed way too many of them. Kill me now…

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Yeah, at first I thought there was just one or two of them. I’ve since come to realize it’s like a cottage industry.

    • Serai 1

      Most people do. There’s a reason their albums still make a fuckton of money every year.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTrEAo0mbgA

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Milli Vanilli made a lot of money back in the day too.

        • Serai 1

          For about five minutes. The Eagles have been making money for over fourty years. Sorry, but you’re in the minority, kiddo.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I know. But “Chug All Night”? Really??

    • BreakingDeadMen

      I heard it in sufficient quantity two decades ago. Also, here is my pet peeve: it should never be “Eagles Guitarist Joe Walsh;” it is either “Joe Walsh” or, if you must, “James Gang Guitarist Joe Walsh.” His career should not be defined by the worst band his was ever in.

  • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

    Dipped my toe in the comment pool over at Breitbart just now. Fascinating. One idiot referred to Trump “deftly” turning the tables on the Democrats. Wow. If I were making up a list of words that most accurately described Donnie, “deft” would not be on it…

    • Msgr_MΩment

      derply?

      • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

        That works, bigly.

        • BosGrl

          derply, madly, bigly

    • Kiri the Paid Protestor

      Daft?

    • shivaskeeper

      Out of morbid curiosity what was the deft maneuver? I won’t go there as I would like to keep my sanity fairly intact this morning.

      • I think it is pointing out that since Schu and Pelosi met the Russians in offical state functions, that they are the EXACT SAME as Sessions meeting them in private and lying about it.

        • shivaskeeper

          It’s barely dawn and already their minds have snapped like a dry and brittle twig.

          • lol apparently it is the wiretapping thing.
            Because….apparently tapping the russians is bad? Which really means they are flat out admitting that they did all this, really

      • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

        It was about the wiretapping thing. Honestly, they were all so completely moronic I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. That remark stuck in my head though.

        And yes, RWNJ’s cannot spell or write grammatically correct English for the most part. Shocking, I know…

    • he musta meant deafly

    • Villago Delenda Est

      It’s hopeless. None of them can be salvaged. Scrap ’em all.

    • UnsaltedSinner
      • yyyaz

        Bustered!

  • Msgr_MΩment

    You’re telling me that you’re on MSNBC and you’re giving advice to the world and you don’t even know who you’re supposed to love? Are you kidding me? You don’t even know how plumbing works?”

    Translation from Wingnutese: “Rachel don’t know dick.”

  • Kiri the Paid Protestor

    He should call her show. I bet she’d have him on.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      She had Aqua-Buddha on her show, look how well that turned out!

      • Kiri the Paid Protestor

        Ooh, and that crackpot Art Robinson!

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      If things turn to a fight, I’m pretty sure she’s stronger than he is. Would that be fair?

      • Sardonicuss

        She would probably just drink him under the table with a few very elegant cocktails.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    i didn’t even know Rachel was gay. :I

    • BloviateMe

      What does Rachel Maddow and congress have in common?

      Neither one does dick.

    • msanthropesmr

      That’s because in the grand scheme of thigns, it’s not really important for the job she does.

    • Sardonicuss

      Rhodes Scholar as well.

      • msanthropesmr

        Rhodes scholar is gay too? This changes everything.

        • Sardonicuss

          I thought it was another plus…
          * Expert mixoligist?

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          What do you think the Colossus of Rhodes was all about?

    • Shanzgood

      She is also very tall.

  • Yr. Gma

    The bullfrog was Jeremiah.

    • Scrofula

      this bullfrog’s a jeremiad

    • msanthropesmr

      The walrus was Paul.

    • BosGrl

      I could never understand a damned word he said.

      • BloviateMe

        But a good time was had, nevertheless.

        • BosGrl

          mighty fine

        • Villago Delenda Est

          He always had some mighty fine wine.

          • msanthropesmr

            What the world needs now is joy sweet joy.

          • Shanzgood

            Did you help him drink it?

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      No, it’s Jason Funderburker.

    • proudgrampa

      It’s Deja vu all over again…

    • Ricky Gay

      momma told him not to come… that’s his problem

  • shivaskeeper

    Why would she waste her time with this lightweight? He’s a third string Christian wingnut at best.

    • doktorzoom

      Honestly, that’s why we’ve never used any of RightWingWatch’s many pieces about him previously. Dave WHO? But he’s got a unique batshit charm all his own.

      • shivaskeeper

        Understood.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        You mean to say that Dave’s not here, man?

        • yyyaz

          Dude, I’m Dave. And I may or may not be here.

          • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

            Is your last name Schrodinger?

          • yyyaz

            You’ll have to check the box.

          • Msgr_MΩment

            Dave? Dave Heisenberg?

        • doktorzoom

          But he is now, man.

  • Me not sure

    Never in my life have I thought it wise to take advice about sex from a football coach. Jerry Sandusky or this guy have done or said nothing to make me change my mind.

    • BosGrl

      Just reading that name always makes me want to vomit.

      • Me not sure

        I wonder if there’s not a whole town in Ohio that feels that way.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      One of my favorites: Amy Schumer takes on sexual assault in the context of football within a take-off on “Friday Night Lights.”
      https://youtu.be/TM2RUVnTlvs

      • TheFamilyThalamus

        Oh, hahahahaha! I remember this one!

  • Serai 1

    • Murica!

    • Scrofula

      Ima shoot that twister!

      • Shanzgood

        I think I know that guy.

        • Undocumented Skwerl!

          It’s me. I get on my roof and shoot at storms.

          • Shanzgood

            Is that what causes hail?

          • Undocumented Skwerl!

            On my snooty neighbors. Hell ya!

          • Shanzgood

            I don’t have any snooty neighbors. They probably think *I’m* the snooty one because I never have all-night porch parties. Or any parties.

          • Undocumented Skwerl!

            Fancy!

          • Shanzgood

            Sometimes I get drunk and bark at the dog across the street.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Video or GTFO!

          • Shanzgood

            I’ll ask the neighbors if they still have a copy of what they gave to the police.

    • FauxAntocles

      I’d pay good money to see that weapon fire while he’s holding it like that.

      • Shanzgood

        Ouch!

  • PupperNutter

    I am one thousand percent confident Rachel Maddow knows more about both literal plumbing and the genital kind than this dude.

    • Scrofula

      I would def. trust her to install a garbage disposal before this guy.

  • The Alabama Drive In Lady who refuses to show Beauty and the Beast because of GAY! is better at Jesus than this rube.

  • cheetojeebus

    I see a single wide with a leaking roof and empty propane tank in this idiots future.

    • Future? Present

      • Villago Delenda Est

        His birfplace.

    • Undocumented Skwerl!
      • Yr. Gma

        A classic!

        • Undocumented Skwerl!

          I thought about buying the trailer and restoring it for a few minutes. Then I suddenly remembered I’d been drinking and impulse purchases are a no-no.

      • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

        Elegant country living at it’s finest!

  • bookish

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4281150/Trump-accuses-Barack-Obama-wire-tapping-phones.html

    The Obama administration has denied President Donald Trump’s claims that Barack Obama wire-tapped his phones at Trump Tower before the election.

    Ben Rhodes, the former policy advisor for Obama, blasted Trump’s accusations on Twitter: ‘No President can order a wiretap. Those restrictions were put in place to protect citizens from people like you.’

    Rhodes’ response came shortly after Trump fired off a flurry of tweets early Saturday morning claiming that the former president had been spying on him in October, a month before his election victory.

    • yeaaahhhh what part of they tap the russki’s phones are they not getting?
      The Russians know this. They do the same.
      Something tells me Pooty was setting this whole thing up

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Yup, there’s only one way they could be record your calls, Donnie…

  • BosGrl

    Ugh, unless you want a large dent on your desk, do not turn on MSNBC. Stupid Trump supporters.

    • Amelia

      The day I turn on a 24 hr cable news channel is the day Wonkette gets Rich and Famous enough to start the Dick Jokes News Network, with daily segments from Sam Bee, John Oliver, Seth Myers, Colbert, and Jon Stewart.

      Someone call me when that happens.

  • I watch Rachel every night and haven’t noticed her giving a lot of advice, other than “pay attention to this crazy shit happening here”. She does give lots of information. But informative news show =/= advice column.

    • You gotta remember these people think that just because their opinion is different, it makes it just as valid as the one of there based in actual fact.

    • Michael R

      For this guy ” don’t be a dick ” is advice he’s never heard ,

    • Sardonicuss

      Go easy on the vermouth?

    • Serai 1

      She’s gay, and thus she is “ramming it down his throat”. Because the very fact of gay people’s existence is a rebuke and an insult and a SHOUTY ADVICE YELLING to sad little ball-clutchers like this unlanced boil.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    OT: Headline of the morning, from Friend-of-this-Mommyblog-and-Dickjoke-Emporium, Charlie Pierse:

    Those 900 Hours of Free AOL Finally Came Back to Haunt Mike Pence

    http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/news/a53594/mike-pence-private-email/

    • The Wanderer

      (giggles)

  • Undocumented Skwerl!

    how he buys his reading glasses at the Dollar Store

    Probably the only store left in town.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      From “Crashing” on HBO last Sunday: “What’s the employee discount for people who work at the Dollar Store? ‘Here. Just take it?”

      • yyyaz

        Larf.

  • bookish

    http://www.politico.com/story/2017/03/trump-obama-obsession-235681

    There’s a political advantage to it—Obama is just as infuriating a figure as he was six weeks ago to the Republican base and the pro-Trump media that powered the president’s campaign.

    And there’s a diversionary advantage to churning up a new controversy that this time takes away airtime and mindshare from the questions of just how many top administration officials had just how many undisclosed meetings with Russian officials. But there also seems to be a true sense in Trump’s mind that Obama is practically sitting beneath the floorboards of the West Wing, chipping away at his presidency.

    • He is still really pissed off the guy made fun of him and is way more liked.

      • Yr. Gma

        And that he’s young and fit and (should he want to) he could have all the pussy without grabbing it or paying for it.

        • I would pay HIM to….
          erm, what Michelle? No, no, perish the thought, that was not what I was saying at all

      • Serai 1

        He’s never going to let that go.

    • SeekingResistanceBarbie

      “I was tough on him, he was tough on me, and I like him, he likes me. I think he likes me. I mean, you’re going to have to ask him, but I think he likes me,” Trump said in an interview with Sean Hannity shortly after the inauguration. A few weeks later in an interview with Bill O’Reilly, that had morphed into, “We get along. I don’t know if he’ll admit this, but he likes me.”

      Dude, I can’t read his mind, but I’d be willing to bet he doesn’t like you.

      • Serai 1

        This is where Obama’s talent for making people think they’re the only person in the world when he’s talking to them pays off.

  • Michael R

    Oh , I hope he didn’t hurt Rachel’s feelings .

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      That really is the funny part. The fact that he believes he’s so important that she either knows or cares what he thinks.

      • Amelia

        She’ll see it later today when she comes for her daily dose of Wonkette and help us make fun of him with her incognito disqus account.

        No one will convince me this isn’t true.

        • CogitoErgoBibo

          If she reads (which we know she does), she wouldn’t be able to resist occasionally weighing in. Hi, Rachel! You are loved.

        • Who DIDN’T post a picture way back during that open thread?

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Woman with classic brooklyn accent at (an anemic) Trump rally on MSNBC: I think it’s very appropriate for the President to turn to twitter.

    • BosGrl

      and went right for the bait – Obama tapped his phones. GAH!

      • Querolous

        Hair Twitler has a confuse. The tap was actually on the line from Muskovichnya Savings & Loan.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      At this point, Preibus and Bannon are wanting to inject him with whatever they gave him for the SOTU speech, hogtie him, stick him in a closet at MarALago and take his phone away.

  • Chadwells

    OT: Dig this.

    “Trump Just Made a Big Russia Problem Even Bigger”

    https://politicalwire.com/2017/03/04/trump-just-made-big-russia-problem-even-bigger/

    • Right, he just basically admitted that it is all true XD
      Dumbnut

      • CogitoErgoBibo

        From the beginning, that’s been the most hilarious part. “Get the leakers!” essentially translates to “Too much truth is getting out there! Help meeeeee!”

    • WomanInThePersistence

      The link wouldn’t let me see the article.

      • Chadwells

        Yeah…sorry about that. I thought it was public.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Paywall. Expensive paywall. Would rather give my Ameros to the Wonkbabbi

      • ziggywiggy

        I have seen articles from Think Progress and Ultraviolet on the wiretapping, probably everyone will have stories on it before dinnertime.

    • Chadwells

      HERES THE JIST:

      “If these wiretaps did occur — and Trump himself seems to have confirmed they did in his morning tweets — they were done with the approval of the FISA court. By confirming these reports, Trump has actually declassified this information and essentially guaranteed that no one can be punished for leaking it in the first place.

      More important though, Trump reminded everyone that the FISA court approved warrants against his campaign based on espionage suspicions. That means the court had enough information to justify the wiretaps.”

  • The Librarian

    Hey, Dave The Wingnut:
    I will not douche with Drano,
    with Drano I will not douche,
    It comes to mind,
    I’m sure you’ll find,
    You sound a bit like Roosh*

    * No, sir, this is Isn’t a compliment.

    • I wonder how the wingnuts would feel being compared to a mooslim sounding named dude

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        they’re bigots, I assume they’re all upset about everything. If we tell them they sound like ISIS enough their existence will collapse in on itself.

      • Scrofula

        All muslins are named Ali Baba to them, though.

        • Yr. Gma

          Ali Hussein Baba.

          • msanthropesmr

            Open sesame.

          • Scrofula

            And they sure as fuck don’t realize it’s really Dr. Monfared, who they like so much.

      • The Librarian

        Imagine head exploding gif

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    Is Joy Reid still with MSNBC?

    • BosGrl

      Just watched her show! :) Awesome as usual.

    • Sardonicuss

      She was on Maher last night. Introduced as “Host of …with Joy Reid on MSNBC”?

      Also too….she killed.

      • BosGrl

        I like his format and most of the time his guests are interesting but I just do not find him funny anymore. He comes off as a bully.

        • Sardonicuss

          Well, there are just not enough people on the left with as big a pulpit and guest roster as he has…for me to not watch him because we are not on the same page all the time.

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            Not being on the same page is different from not believing men can be raped.

          • Sardonicuss

            Oh, he’s said a lot more offensive things than that.
            When he starts shilling for Trump, and not having every major political figure from the left on his show…I will ditch him.
            Not joining the purity police yet..

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            That’s not offensive, that’s disgusting. I’m not throwing anyone under the bus (except Bill Maher) for some extra street cred or to stop the infighting.

          • BosGrl

            Agreed.

        • IOnlyLikeCats

          Cracked did a really good piece on what a jerk he is.

          • Sardonicuss

            This one is better.
            …and the last post this guy ever did.
            http://thedailybanter.com/2017/03/bill-maher-isnt-the-enemy/

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            No, it’s not. Bill Maher told transgender people to stop fighting for rights so Hillary could win.

          • Sardonicuss

            Don’t watch him then. I dont care. The energy you are spending attacking him could be better spend attacking the actual very real eneimies of the left….but do what you want.

          • Sardonicuss

            Oh, and Cracked also did a podcast a few articles a while back detailing why we should sympathize with rural white Trump voters…
            I found that offensive…but I didnt stop reading Cracked.

          • The Librarian

            Agree 100%

          • Jack Tenhet

            I read that one, it seemed spot on. They’re actually doing some halfway decent work over on Cracked these days. Sometimes it’s a swing and a miss, but they’re still doing better than a lot of other outlets lately.

        • Yr. Gma

          He becomes more full of himself as time goes on. I gave up on him some time back.

          • IOnlyLikeCats

            It took me a while to realize I don’t like watching him because he’s insufferable.

      • Watching her slap Jeffrey Lord around on Overtime was delightful

        • Sardonicuss

          His other token winger..the guy from radio? did a pretty good job of slapping Drump around as well.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      and not that the house that Zucker built seems to be paying attention, but her show has trended on twitter every weekend for something like six months now.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      They’d better keep her, too. She’s become one of my faves, although no one will ever outdo Rachel in my heart.

    • ariel_gee_398

      I’d love to know what it would take to get MSNBC to replace Chris Matthews with her.

      • CogitoErgoBibo

        Replacing Matthews with a yule log video would be an improvement.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        I would protest for that.

        • ariel_gee_398

          I’d kick in for whatever severance payoff they’d have to provide Matthews.

  • bookish

    http://www.newyorker.com/news/news-desk/donald-trumps-early-morning-tweets

    In the think-tank and analytical world of Russian specialists in Washington, Hill has a solid reputation. Celeste Wallander, who was Obama’s leading adviser on Russia, said, “Fiona is a respected analyst in the Washington Russia community, and she has been very tough and really hardheaded about who and what Putin is and about U.S.-Russian policy.”

    And yet the general feeling in that same community is that Trump is not an ordinary Republican President—his comments about Putin are extraordinary, and so is the tumult in his Administration, particularly when it comes to its relations with Russia. Michael Flynn lost his job as the national-security adviser in less than a month because of his contacts with the Russian Ambassador, and others in the Trump circle—from Paul Manafort, Trump’s onetime campaign manager, to the Attorney General, Jeff Sessions, to Carter Page, a policy adviser during the race—are also being scrutinized. Some officials and analysts wonder if Hill is deluded in thinking, somehow, that she can play a positive and decisive role in a White House clouded by the prospect of congressional investigations and influenced so markedly by ideologues like Steve Bannon.

    In late July, Hill wrote a column for Vox on why Putin might have wanted to interfere in the election. Her analysis was completely in line with consensus thinking. She concluded that Putin believed that the Obama Administration, and particularly Clinton, as Obama’s Secretary of State, had somehow been responsible for the anti-Kremlin demonstrations in 2011 and 2012 and that he wanted either to prevent Clinton from becoming President or, more likely, to do his best to weaken her. “A US president who is elected amid controversy and recrimination, reviled by a large segment of the electorate, and mired in domestic crises,” Hill wrote, “will be hard-pressed to forge a coherent foreign policy and challenge Russia.”

    http://www.vox.com/2016/7/27/12304448/putin-elections-dnc-hack

    • yyyaz

      Boil this down to 3 words for a bumpersticker and we might be able to turn this shitwagon around.

      • bookish

        Fuck that guy?

    • Jack Tenhet

      Is it wrong that I get most of my news from you, bookish? I appreciate you doing all this legwork, it saves me a lot of time.

      You’re one of the best.

  • Chadwells

    Here’s the jist of my members only post…SORRY!!

    “If these wiretaps did occur — and Trump himself seems to have confirmed they did in his morning tweets — they were done with the approval of the FISA court. By confirming these reports, Trump has actually declassified this information and essentially guaranteed that no one can be punished for leaking it in the first place.

    More important though, Trump reminded everyone that the FISA court approved warrants against his campaign based on espionage suspicions. That means the court had enough information to justify the wiretaps.”

    • SeekingResistanceBarbie

      I wonder if idiot trump will realize he leaked and outed himself.

      • Chadwells

        ….nope.

      • Yr. Gma

        No.

      • yyyaz

        Don’t make me laugh, my lips are chapped.

      • shivaskeeper

        That would seem to require some sort of introspection and critical thought. So, no. I don’t see that happening.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Hahahahahahahahaha!

      • Jack Tenhet

        Maybe he thinks John Barron is behind the leaks.

  • Mike Steele

    “…through his neighbor’s dog”- ISWYDT, Robyn, and it was classic:)

  • fawkedifiknow

    Never argue with a guy who has a Jesus-like beard and mustache AND is wearing a baseball cap. If you do, you’re wasting your time.

  • WomanInThePersistence
    • Serai 1

      I have offered to have his babies, but he still hasn’t gotten back to me.

      Tick tock, Stephen.

  • Nounverb911

    Vicente Fox, one of trump’s biggest thorns has something to say.

    https://twitter.com/VicenteFoxQue/status/838086002489053184

    • Serai 1

      What’s he referencing? What the fuck did Twitler say NOW?

    • Yr. Gma

      We’re working on it, amigo.

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      ¡O Vicente, mi querido!

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        This is good too:

        .@realDonaldTrump is more aware of what happens in reality TV than his own country. He's a very bad apprentice of politics!— Vicente Fox Quesada (@VicenteFoxQue) March 4, 2017

    • Jack Tenhet

      Remember when our allies were Mexico, Australia, etc. and we were very leery of Putin’s Russia? Remember when Putin’s Russia was definitely not considered an ally? It was late last year, so I remember. Also, Pepperidge Farm remembers. Sorry, that last bit was stuck in my head as I was typing and had to bleed out.

  • Reality Kills

    I mean, come on, look at his face. He is a moron.

    • BadKitty904

      I’m always impressed by just how unattractive these so-called “Christians” can make Christianity appear to be.

      • Reality Kills

        Just when you think they can’t look any more unattractive, another one comes out!

        • Liberal Fascist Ron

          Their captive breeding program is paying big dividends.

      • Jack Tenhet

        I know! They rail against perceived “attacks on Christianity” while spewing bigoted bile that does far more damage to church attendance than people going to the bathroom ever will.

        Dudes like this are why a lot of Christians are ashamed to say they’re Christian. It doesn’t help that extremists like him get the pulpit and more reasonable people who don’t wear their respective faiths like a war wound fade into the background.

        I used to be a regular Catholic. i stopped going to mass because of the Church’s vocal stance on the gay community while many friends I loved were still dropping like flies from AIDS. I couldn’t stay with the Church anymore because the extremists had the bullhorn and people were dying. I think you see my point, didn’t mean to go off on a rant there.

      • Reality Kills

        If unattractive guys like this idiot are what Rachel is supposed to love, I can see why she lesbian.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Moron? No. Moran, definitely. Also, A Idiot.

  • lucidamente

    So, on which computer does Coach Daubenmire keep his stash of child pornography?

    • Edith Prickly

      AOT,K

  • BadKitty904

    And “Coach” Muddauber thinks Rachel Maddow, a nationally-recognized political commentator, would be listening to him because…why?

    • Raan

      Because he has an inflated sense of self and is a “genius”.

      Just like Ryder, that little prick who sold out the Grove.

      • BadKitty904

        Yah. The guy who failed at being a high-school coach. Right.

    • Jack Tenhet

      He doesn’t want Maddow giving him advice she has never given, so he’s giving her advice she’ll never see nor hear. The stupid’s strong with this one.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Penis?

  • azeyote

    bad plumbing is one thing – but bad wiring is quite another –

    • Liberal Fascist Ron

      Don’t let the magic smoke get out!

  • Reality Kills

    Social media ruined everything. It gave a platform for any moron to put in full display their idiocy. Twenty years ago, you wouldn’t know this idiot even exists. That’s the reason I loved the 90’s and now even more so.

    • Yr. Gma

      You have a point, but there have been advantages to social media, too. It’s a matter of balance, the bad with the good, etc.

      • Reality Kills

        I got it. Like everything pretty much but every time I see a moron like this so-called coach, I wish social media would just go away.

        • Red Bird Ω

          Social media was more fun when it was the domain of the youths and the geeks. Once the oldz jumped on board it went down hill.

          • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

            Hey some of us are oldz leftist geeks ;)

    • BosGrl

      I don’t know. It’s a godsend to some of us with social anxiety, a way to keep in touch with people.

      • RC

        Unfortunately you have to take the bad with the good. I also like YouTube every time I forget a certain stitch or need info on my fish. YouTube has great learning potential.

      • Red Bird Ω

        Nah. That’s what the math club was for.

        • BosGrl

          I was on the math team in high school…

    • Jack Tenhet

      You’re not wrong. Now all it takes to be “famous” is a camera and a Youtube account. Say something stupid, get a million views and your fifteen minutes stretches out for years. Twenty years ago, these nutjobs would have been typing out their little manifestos on an IBM Selectric and we’d never be exposed to it.

      • Liberal Fascist Ron

        Never a Selectric (fun fact: IBM never sold them outright, only leased them). Smith-Corona portable. Single-spaced. 1/2″ margins. No paragraph indents, if there were indeed any paragraphing at all. Oh, and copied using a Gestetner machine.

        • Jack Tenhet

          I never knew that about the Selectric. I had one when I was younger, the doctor’s office my mom worked for changed over and he just gave her one to give to me. Before that, I just had an old portable Royal. Still have the Royal and it still works.

          • Liberal Fascist Ron

            Good ol’ mechanical portables will run forever with a bit of maintenance. Tricky bit’s finding ribbons for ’em. Though I suspect there’s a source again. Probably in China.

    • Amelia

      I get what you mean, but I also think social media has made it easier to catch shitty people doing shitty things. Without cell phone footage (which may not have developed as much technologically without social media rising) or people posting horrible things and getting caught, a lot more violent racists and sexual predators and thieves would still have jobs in law enforcement, government, whatever.

      While it sucks we can’t quarantine this guy’s particular brand of stupidity, and I want to burn Facebook to the ground every time my dad shows me something political on his timeline, social media may help us impeach Trump, and that will make it all worth it.

      • Reality Kills

        Agreed. It has been a great technology for many reasons. But it came with an ugly side as well. Also, (as Jack below said), any moron can think they are “famous” and put stupid shit on YouTube, 4chan, and all those crappy websites and millions of views for spewing nonsense.

  • BadKitty904

    In re: “Coach” Muddauber –

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bd2B6SjMh_w

  • JMP

    Well considering that the Eagles are pretty much tied with the Dave Fucking Matthews Band for the worst super-popular band in history, the ones with tons of hit songs that make your ears bleed with how horribly they suck, it makes sense that this douche is a fan.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Journey would like word.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        I stopped believing long before I could reach the dial to change the station.

      • Shanzgood

        And Kansas.

        • proudgrampa

          Brownback is awful, ain’t he?

          • Shanzgood

            Don’t get me started!

        • Sardonicuss

          Counterpoint: STYX

          • Shanzgood

            They don’t make me smell-remember Old Spice and an ex-boyfriend, though.

          • Sardonicuss

            So, you missed there big “Phantom of the VFW Men’s Room” operatic opus then?

          • Shanzgood

            Apparently so. Listened to classical and 60’s rock/folk music most of the time, courtesy of my hippie parents. I missed out on a lot of current pop stuff. Still do.

          • Liberal Fascist Ron

            Heh… I listened to all that stuff DESPITE my parents. Happily I had musician cousins who had… eclectic tastes, and got me into the good stuff.

      • Sardonicuss

        God I always hated Journey. Perry’s voice (which apparently everybody loved) sounded like the death squalling of a cat to me.

        • ariel_gee_398

          I live my life by one simple rule: If the bar I’m in starts playing Journey, I leave.

          • Sardonicuss

            If it is a karaoke bar, I just shoot myself.

    • Edith Prickly

      Steve Miller Band libelzz!

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Timely.

    • eggsacklywright

      I still listen to Clash and Cocteau Twins. Never get tired of them.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Please do not compare the Clash to the Eagles. Just dont.

        • eggsacklywright

          I wasn’t. I wouldn’t put them in the same sentence.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            I only did because I panicked.

      • Sandy Beaches

        The clash are still the only band that matters.

    • jodyleek

      The worst super popular bad in history is KISS. At least the Eagles and the Dave Matthews Band can sing and play their instruments well.

      • Sardonicuss

        YES. Kiss. The most overhyped manufactured band since the Monkeys…who I actually like more than KISS.

        • proudgrampa

          Too busy singing to put anybody down.

          https://youtu.be/hUzexePjWlI

        • jodyleek

          Being a musician myself, I hesitate to call any band “bad”. I do, however, appreciate bands who focus on substance rather than spectacle.

          • Sardonicuss

            I am the age target of all of the bands being mentioned here.
            I worked in record stores as teen, and we were all rock aficionado’s.
            There were a lot of posers salted through the rock world in those days…we avoided them like the plague.
            Bands we loved:
            Led Zep, The Stones, The Beatles, Pink Floyd, Yes, Cream, The Yardbirds, Heart, Rush… ect..
            KISS was the antithesis of those bands.

        • JMP

          The Monkees were a legitimately great band, despite being created for a TV show.

    • Yr. Gma

      Why don’t you tell us how you really feel?

  • Nounverb911

    OT
    Clemson University students give Miss Lindsey shit for being stupid and not having gone to Clemson even though he grew up six miles away.

    https://twitter.com/kylegriffin1/status/838084092746936321

  • WomanInThePersistence

    This guy is funny.

    https://youtu.be/QviPgC3Vmms

    • BadKitty904

      The Eric Trump bit IS funny!!!

      • WomanInThePersistence

        I loved that. And I worked in a kitchen with a woman who is Palestinian. It drove her nuts that everybody assumed she spoke Spanish.

        • BadKitty904

          My bestie, Frank, who was born in Savannah, is half-black, half-white. He is regularly IDed by people in shops, on the street, etc., as being Hispanic, Middle Eastern, etc. His fave was when a young woman asked him if he was Samoan.

          • Liberal Fascist Ron

            She thought he was a cookie?

          • BadKitty904

            Well, he is mighty sweet…

    • BadKitty904

      Russell Peters, my fave Canadian-of-Indian-descent comedian:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mb5B8GeDe2U

  • Bill D. Burger

    OT..but have Jason Chaffetz, Darrell Issa, and Trey Gowdy formed committees yet to look into the ‘McCarthy’ Obama’s wire tapping of totally sane Donald Trump yet?

    If not….soon!
    lmao___ Shit! I shouldn’t laugh. That’s not beyond the realm of the possible.

  • Edith Prickly

    What did nutbars like this guy do before they could spray their crazy all over social media for us to marvel at? Annoyed the fuck out of their friends and family, I guess?

    • Marion in Savannah

      I think back in the day they used to wander the streets with bibles and bull horns annoying passersby.

      • The Wanderer

        Down here in Florida, there’s still a few who annoy people at intersections.

        • Liberal Fascist Ron

          That sounds like a self-correcting problem.

    • BadKitty904

      Wind up in jail and/or asylums?

    • I think this guy tried to cram it down his football players. Hopefully that is only a metaphor.

    • Scrofula

      Chick Tracts at the bus stop.

      • Edith Prickly

        Those had a certain demented genius.

        • Liberal Fascist Ron

          And they’re educational – when you read them you finally understand what kind of misinformation your typical fundie/evangelical has filling their head and why they’re so amazingly nuts.

    • Andy_Kreiss

      Sat on their regular stool at the cheapest bar in their sad town of Loserville, Real America ©.

      And thought about public restroom fantasy scenarios.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Letters to the editor libelz!

    • Marceline

      Ohioan here. I can promise you that Daubenmire was like this long before social media.

  • Another great Pandora coincidence, while I was reading this article, Girls Just wanna have Fun came on. Excellent timing.

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      I uninstalled Pandora after I became convinced the ghost of Tupac Shakur was trying to communicate with me through it by randomly coming on during work at full blast.

  • Scrofula

    “Former deputy national security adviser Ben Rhodes also tweeted back at Trump: “No President can order a wiretap. Those restrictions were put in place to protect citizens from people like you.”” (politico)

  • Belasaurius

    Trump’s disintegration would amuse me more if he didn’t have access to nuclear weapons

  • Nick Scroggs

    I’m wondering if this his something I’ve been hypothesizing, that one reason these guys are so vehement against LGBT people is because of jealousy at their perceived ability to just get laid so easily. Like they saw the scene in Fun Home (the musical or the graphic novel) where Allison Bechdel has her first lesbian encounter quite easily, and thought “Damn it, why do they get the breaks?” Not the only factor, probably trillions of factors, but still.

    • Scrofula

      The whole point is sex w/o reproduction, which is fun, therefore a sin. It’s worldly–you should be more concerned about voting for kleptocrats in Jebus’ name.

      • Nick Scroggs

        That should be a history thesis, in a way, man, can I use it? The religion and kleptocrats and such I mean.

        • Scrofula

          No point in sharing my brilliance if others can’t.

  • Nounverb911
    • (Major_Major_Major)ly_Pissed

      Man with half a cock goes off half-cocked. Amazeballs

      • BreakingDeadMen

        Pretty sure the balls are not amazing either.

    • Edith Prickly

      Why would he need to do that? Breitbart has all the REAL news!

    • Bill D. Burger

      And I heard he got hundreds of copies right after the election.
      Obviously, he never read a page.

      http://scaredmonkeys.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/Obama_President_for_dummies.jpg

    • TJ Barke

      Donald knows everything, he’s got billions, he’s a winner, it’s yooge, terrific. Doesn’t need to consult sad low energy government people.

  • bookish

    http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-39168149

    President Donald Trump’s accusation that his predecessor ordered his phones to be tapped is “simply false”, Barack Obama’s spokesman has said.

    Kevin Lewis said that “neither President Obama nor any White House official ever ordered surveillance on any US citizen”.

    Mr Trump had tweeted: “Terrible! Just found out Obama had my “wires tapped” in Trump Tower just before the victory. Nothing found. This is McCarthyism!”

    He gave no details to back the claim.

    In his statement, Mr Lewis said a “cardinal rule of the Obama Administration was that no White House official ever interfered with any independent investigation led by the Department of Justice”.

    The statement left open the possibility that a judicial investigation was taking place.

    • Yr. Gma

      Moron just keeps replaying his campaign.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        And keeping the story on the front page. If he’d shut up, our wonderful media would be talking about Melania reading Dr Seuss.

    • Erala Contratista

      McCarthy didn’t need no taps, he just used pieces of (blank?) paper and innuendo.

      • LucindathePook

        Donnie’s got those, based on those piles of business folders he was showcasing and that inaugural speech he was writing on the legal pad in the Maralago front office.

  • anon_the_great

    “I’m supposed to take advice from you and you don’t even know that you’re supposed to love a man?”

    Oh Coach, no you don’t not have to take advise from Rachael Maddow even tho it would make you smarter so STFU you pissy dickless snowflake.

    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      Being whacked in the head with a baseball bat would probably make him smarter.

      • yyyaz

        Far less offensive at the least.

  • reelreeler

    Yes indeed, he is a jackass and Trump is a jackass and there are many jackasses these days it seems. Also, your Hotel California cover was Grammy worthy compared to this:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qIqY-zvdESQ

    • Yr. Gma

      Pat Boone isn’t dead yet?

      • BadKitty904

        How would we tell?

      • yyyaz

        The makeup artists with the invest-in-gold commercials he now makes learned a month or two ago that doubling up to 12 pounds of fake skin makes him look a little less like a walking corpse. So, meh?

  • It was kind of fun leaving a couple of comments on Breitbart about the wiretapping. Those snowflakes get so upset.

    • Nounverb911

      Just make sure they don’t follow you home….

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Comments from liebruls literally go to the back of the bus there. Pester them with too many “facts” and they’ll block you.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      Yellow snowflakes

      • I guess that would make them true Trump soulmates, then?

        • BreakingDeadMen

          Yep

    • Nick Scroggs

      I would, but I’ve already made enemies (mostly trolls going after “leftists” on Mother Jones, etc.), for some things I have said, out of the box thinking, insulting them, and it nearly drove me insane with paranoia if they were right, that they would track me down, or at least that arguing with them is like shooting bullets at Superman, completely futile. No real point, just wanted to share that.

      • No, it is a good point. I don’t post on sites like that very often, and only on things I am very confident on. This particular time I asked them which sounded more like treason, potentially colluding with a foreign government or having the justice department investigate potential collusion with a foreign government. Oh, and I gave them the definition of treason from the constitution.

  • boyblue122

    Hey, you know who else was paranoid

    https://twitter.com/justinjm1/status/838090909992484864

    • Scrofula

      Interesting, since Nixon recorded all HIS calls and meetings. Donnie can’t figure out technology, at least.

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        Nixon probably couldn’t either. He was fortunate Bob Haldeman hired Alexander Butterfield who supervised the installation of the White House taping system.

        • Doug Langley

          Not so fortunate. If memory serves, it was Butterfield who remarked about the taping system during the hearings and everyone went “Say what???”

      • Well, Nixon was smart enough to hire an office secretary that knew how to accidentally erase a taped telephone call 6 or 7 times over

        • Doug Langley

          While keeping her foot on the “play” pedal and reaching for a phone ten feet away. For eighteen and a half minutes!!!!

          • LucindathePook

            But she did invent a new yoga position our of it, so there.

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      Comparisons people have accurately and successfully made between “president” Cheeto ferret: Hitler, Nixon, Mussolini, Stalin, 1984, and “It Can’t Happen Here”. I see a pattern.

      • Nick Scroggs

        Can we add Pinochet, Batista, Trujillo, and Meyer Lansky?

        • IOnlyLikeCats

          We’re missing several African dictators. Let me look up how to spell their names.

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      Without science how would you build or care for the car?

      • Jonny On Maui

        Prayer.

      • Most NASCAR folks just pray to fix things…Jesus has a whole set of Craftsmen tools…but not metric, cause that’s the devil’s work.

      • I don’t know where in AMERICA you live, but in the South we have those nice Mexican and Middle East boys working at our car repair shops and Jiffy Lubes.

      • Jack Tenhet

        Without science, the anti-science wingnuts wouldn’t even have a platform to showcase their stupidity. They don’t even grasp that the internet is science ffs.

  • WomanInThePersistence

    Why am I not surprised that Trump is tied to the Russian Fertilizer King?

    https://youtu.be/LnfeSitSbRA

    • BreakingDeadMen

      Fertilizer is his stock-in-trade as an orator and salesman

    • ariel_gee_398

      Shit seeks its own level?

  • bookish
    • Jack Tenhet

      Nah, he’s not a bitter, vindictive little tinpot, wannabe dictator.

    • Erala Contratista

      If California stripped the money we send to the Feds that would be Really Fun to see and hear.

  • rabid_baboon

    I swear he says “cornpoke”, not “cowpoke”. Is that some wingnut euphemism I’m not aware of?

  • Parakeetist

    I had no idea the success of America depended on people’s love lives. I better get laid.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    Lot of Republicans want to shank Trump.

    https://twitter.com/BruceBartlett/status/838036457428221952

    • Erala Contratista

      Ooooohh SNAP!

  • Martini Ambassador

    I think this is a wingnut media thing these days: realize you are fading into irrelevance, “respond” to some perceived liberal threat that was never really there, ???, profit! It a formula that Coultergeist, DeFellon, and so many others are fond of.

    • The Flaming Carrot

      I only listened for about 3 minutes, but he seemed to be complaining bitterly about smarty-pants conservatives who “went to university” who think he’s Jimminy Cornpone.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      I don’t understand why they let Shonda Rhimes write the script for 2017.

      • doktorzoom

        I don’t understand why they let Shonda Rhimes Timothy Leary write the script for 2017

        Fixed.

        • Perhaps they co-wrote it?

        • WomanInThePersistence

          I was thinking Salvador Dali, myself.

        • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

          With help from Robert Anton Wilson.

        • BoziSpicer
        • Jack Tenhet

          “Life is around you and within you
          Answer for Timothy Leary, dearie”

    • BosGrl

      I think MSNBC is showing this again tonight at 6. Worth watching again because this is really amazing.

  • Bill Slider

    Is your pre-Broadway cover of Hotel California on YouTube? Oh, please, pretty please. Dominic and Evan likely approve, Dok, too, if his memory is intact this early in the day.

  • lowenufc

    This fucking guy.
    I was a college coach for years, but this fucking guy gives everyone in coaching a bad name.
    Even hyping himself as a coach of some imaginary Xtian team, I mean….
    This fucking guy.

  • Nick Scroggs

    Just a suggestion, i think Wonkette should make an article about Scott Walker’s editorial in the New York Times today telling the GOP to stand up and ignore protesters.

  • bookish
    • Liberal Fascist Ron

      WTF is ‘an increase from a decrease’? Do economists have some rule against making sense?

  • puredog

    Daubenmire wuz a bullfrog,
    Was a good friend of mine —
    I never understood a single word he said
    But I helped him to drink his wine.
    And he sure had some mighty fine wine.

    • Nick Scroggs

      Singing “Joy to the world,
      All the boys and girls
      except the ones who deviate and go homo, then they should be converted back”.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    He’s still a football coach. Here’s some footage of his latest championship game.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TjFXnJc0Q0U

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    This guy has that certain Kirby Delauter vibe about him. For those who don’t remember, Kirby Delauter was some random politician who would sue anyone who said Kirby Delauter in writing or Kirby Delauter in a blog or Kirby Delauter in a random non-comment.

    Ah, those were simpler times, weren’t they Kirby Delauter?

  • Ωbjectifier

    Which is just the kind of profound statement I feel like one does not hear much outside of the dorm rooms of stoners?

    Stoners are not into the Eagles. Man. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d4d34284d35af1aec7e02c3bca5f01ba201d8160cfcba00f329db296dd332e17.jpg

    • Sardonicuss

      I wonder if Don Henley ever runs into Jeff Bridges occasionally and just says: Thanks a fucking lot man!

    • Jack Tenhet

      Didn’t see this before! Just made the same statement above. ;)

  • TJ Barke

    It’s almost like a government full of incompetent malicious authoritarian racists is a terrible thing…

  • Jgb979

    One would think after a multi-year period of unemployment, that no longer qualifies you to define yourself by your former job title.

    Pretty sure there are about a hundred billion private “Christian” academies who hire any old a-hole right winger. “Liberty university”, Orwells favorite title, hired the former Baylor athletic director almost immediately, despite his former work of attempting to bury 52 rapes from being properly reported.

    Maybe you’re just bad at your job.

    Oh and Rachel Maddow chose girls just like you. Even if that first sentence wasn’t laughably absurd, that’s entirely her (and your) right.

  • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

    What a Christian.

    • Liberal Fascist Ron

      Needz moar scare quotes.

  • Shalimar

    Go sex yourself, Coach Dave.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Um, yeah, pretty much everything I know about the world I learned from Eagles songs, just saying.

    • Jack Tenhet

      Everything I know about the world, I learned from Pink Floyd songs and some Boomtown Rats.

      Like The Dude said “I hate the Eagles!”

      • MeerkatsRMammals

        I learned “I Don’t Like Mondays” from Bob Geldof & Garfield ;)

  • Reality Kills

    “I believe with all my heart that God created the heavens and the earth, the seas and all that’s in them. How he did that I’ll ask him about some day.”

    “… I also believe that someday scientists will come to see that only the theory of intelligent design provides even a remotely rational explanation for the known universe.”

    Thoughts from VP Mike Pence. Another nutjob.

    • OrG

      I believe with all my heart you’re a dumbass,mikey. Which one of us is right?

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      Believing it with all your heart is not the same as proving it with all your science, Mikey!

    • Jack Tenhet

      Yeah and if you just have enough happy thoughts, you can fly like Peter Pan. What’s these nutjobs obsession with children’s characters?

      • Reality Kills

        That’s always what hit me. Would they believe in ghosts, vampires, werewolves, boggiemen, and all that stuff? If the answer if no, why in heck you believe there is a man in the sky? If the answer is yes, that person has no business being romming in our communities and should be institutionalized.

        • Doug Langley

          Or become script supervisor on The Night Stalker.

  • Shibusa

    Is he a coach for Holy Cross?
    The mascot for Northwestern U in Chicago in the early 1900s was the Fighting Presbyterian Ministers!

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    I am pretty sure in The Netherlands he could be prosecuted for such remarks BTW.

    • Shanzgood

      We have the RFRA here, so.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I don’t want him prosecuted. I want him treated. With anti-psychotic medications.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        And a lobotomy.

        • Jack Tenhet

          Some doctors still do ECT, maybe he can show away the crazy.

  • cosmiccowgirl

    The homophobia is pretty run of the mill. The confusing part is his fixation on “advice.” Rachel Maddow doesn’t give advice on her show. Is he thinking of Dear Abby?

    • I think I am going to be ill. I just put this comment with the discussion below of coach Dave sexing himself, or who would sex him up.

    • Jennifer R

      She is a woman. Advice is the only thing he can see ever coming out of one of our mouths.

      • Jack Tenhet

        If he were truly as smart as he seems to think he is, he’d listen to the advice of a woman and keep his mouth shut about things he doesn’t understand.

        • Jennifer R

          Better to let people think one is a fool, than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Dear Abby,

      Rachel Maddow is trying to advise me against my through secret brain waves over the televiewer thing and satanic plumbing.

      Also this:

      http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1791954/posts

      What should I do?

      Coach

  • Fancy Meau-Faux

    I would suggest he call Zan “The Rad Dyke Plumber” in Seattle for a primer on plumbing, but it looks like she retired.

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    This Desperado needs to come to his senses. Take it Easy, man, and you’ll find that Peaceful, Easy Feeling One of These Nights.

    • BloviateMe

      But that Witchy Woman is a lesbian!

      • BeachBum

        The one I married had Lyin’ Eyes !

        • OrG

          Victim of Love?

          • BeachBum

            Yeah. But in the Long Run, I loosened My Load.

    • OrG

      The Greeks don’t want no freaks.

    • BeachBum

      Ugh, I think I’m Already Gone.

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        You better come back, ’cause we have to Take it to the Limit. One more time.

    • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend

      If only I hadn’t lost my mind due to my Life In the Fast Lane.

      • BeachBum

        Was that it in Winslow AZ ? It was a fine sight to see. Till it got run over by a flatbed Ford. {{{sshplatte}}

        • Erala Contratista

          There is a flat bed Ford parked at a corner in Winslow BTW.

    • Biff52

      Open the (water)gate!

  • Nick Scroggs
  • WomanInThePersistence

    Just when I didn’t think I could love Patrick Stewart with any more of my heart.

    https://youtu.be/W3dJAPjyr9M

    • BosGrl

      I know Guinan hates Q but we could really use him right about now…

      • Liberal Fascist Ron

        These days he’s hanging around Ponyville.

  • SmotPoker

    That moron spends way too much time obsessing on Rachel’s sex life, who she’s fucking, and the sex of the person.

    Just a tad bit of a homophobe showing in that video. No doubt he rode the short bus back in his own school days. Just count our lucky stars that such a cretin isn’t working anywhere around our children these days.

    Stupid prick.

    • AnniNoone

      Even children like mine who ride the short bus ;-). (Still smarter than he is.)

      • SmotPoker

        I’m sure your kids are doing their very best with a supportive parent(s) behind them. No telling where that moron went off the rails, probably his parents fault….

    • MeerkatsRMammals

      It’s guys like this who secretly watch lesbian pron on the interwebz. Such hypocrites!

  • Reality Kills

    You should pass a basic science test to be able to run for president. An idiot that believes in fairy tales has no business running a government office.

    • SmotPoker

      Make them take the exact same citizenship test that newly minted American citizens must take prior to becoming citizens. I guaranfuckingtee that Trump wouldn’t even come close to passing.

      • Reality Kills

        Totally agreed!

        • SmotPoker

          In fact, why not make it a requirement before you can vote as well? You only have to take it one time, but you must take it, and PASS it before you can vote….

          • Jamoche

            That’ll just encourage them to cut even more funding to poor schools.

          • mancityRed6

            19 of 20
            https://my.uscis.gov/en/prep/test/civics/view
            I always get how many years that reps and senators are elected for screwed up.

          • BeachBum

            Maths are hardz ! Congress maths are umpossible to know !

          • mancityRed6

            one is 2 years, one is 6 years, and I always get them mixed up.

      • BeachBum

        I like to ask Republicans I meet “what the hell did Precedent Hamilton ever do to get his face on the $20 bill ? Sure, maybe he could sing and dance, is that enough ? “

        • Doug Langley

          And their answers are . . . ?

      • wavicles

        “Nobody knew Civics was so complicated!”
        or
        “It’s rigged!”
        $45 wore the hell outta that one, eh? I’m sure it’ll come on back around soon regarding ALL THE investigations that the lousy Dems are a fixin their sights on.

  • Reality Kills

    Mike Pence was already into fake media and make “facts” out of his ass way before he met Donnie.

    “despite the hysteria from the political class and the media, smoking doesn’t kill”.

    “2 out of every three smokers does [sic] not die from a smoking related illness and 9 out of ten smokers do not contract lung cancer”

    • Erala Contratista

      Contratisto y yo had all of our ‘rents die from smoking related diseases. We merely have asthma.
      Plus I never smoked. It was done for me.

      Feh

    • Yr. Gma

      I forgot about that.

  • Alt-dog

    Hey, Robyn can sing!

  • BeachBum

    Maybe I’m getting old, but I don’t understand why so many people are so concerned about other people’s body parts and/or sex life, and where they pee and all of it.
    I say get a life, take care of yourself and family. I’m sure they can fine someone in need of help. The last time I thought of someone’s body parts was during this years Super Bowl Halftime Show, which I think I can be excused of, as seemingly that was the whole point of the event. (I’m old, not dead.)

    • Serai 1

      I’ve never understood it. The very first time I heard someone say something weird about gayness, I thought, “What business is it of yours?” It’s just such a thoroughly stupid thing to get freaked out about. Are they trying to fuck YOU? No? Then what’s the fucking problem?

      • Panika MCD

        they’re trying to get fucked by anyone.

    • Liberal Fascist Ron

      Once again we can turn to the philosophers at the 4077th M*A*S*H:
      Charles: ‘Why this constant preoccupation with sex?’
      BJ: ‘Lack of OCCUPATION with sex.’

    • Panika MCD

      but then they’d have to solve real problems starting with themselves. much easier to assume that it’s not their fault no one is interested in their body parts.

    • PhranquenMeems

      It’s because they can’t figure out what to do with their own.

  • Choosymom

    “Hey, Rachel, are you listening?”

    Hahahahahahahahaha! Hahaha! Hahahahahahahahahaha!!!

    That’s some funny shit right there!

    • H0mer0

      Like she would care who the f— he was. I’m sure she’s heard a lot of homophobic insults before so that wouldn’t even register. He reminds me of Sonny protesting his smartz in “The Godfather.”

      • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

        I believe that would have been Fredo? And poor Fredo was tragic, unlike this guy, who is a rotting carcass.

      • Zyxomma

        That was Fredo. Sonny was long dead.

        • H0mer0

          sorry, you are correct; dunno what I was thinking…

  • Panika MCD

    dear Coach Inquotes Cowpoke-McBullfrog,

    you’re gonna need those Dollar Store glasses for this: I don’t care who your daddy is, stupid.

    sincerely,
    Stay Away from My Pipes

    • Gregory Brown

      He said he’s not a “corn poke.”

  • (((fka_donnie_d)))

    Rachel, are you listening?

    No, “Coach” Dave, no she is not.

  • Nick Scroggs

    Now a random video link: https://youtu.be/FZ-oJIbZNgQ?t=1m2s

    • Zyxomma

      I’m glad I stopped watching that show long ago. Three minutes in, not so much as a grin.

  • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

    As a conservative high school football coach, I’m sure he’s familiar with boy’s plumbing.

  • JMP

    Why is this guy so wrapped up with all the stupid football trappings? He was a high school football coach, that’s one of the least important and impressive things a person can do, yet he seems to think everyone is going to be wowed by it.

  • javadavis

    So reporting now equals giving advice? I think he has been watching too much Fox.

  • Paperless Tiger

    Ain’t it a great time to be alive? These days you can broadcast straight to the internet from in the closet.

  • rick

    Coach is projecting his own inner-same sex wants. He isn’t walking about with that come hither Masculine Older Ghey Bear look for nothing!

  • peekay

    Wasn’t he one of Denis Hastert’s ass-istant coaches?

  • Gregory Brown

    He said he was not a CORN poke. What?

    • Don Gwinn

      Yes, we need an answer to this. I am from America’s Heartland, and I am not familiar with Old Corn Pokes. It sounds like something an Old Testament prophet of the Lord might be called by a large crowd of disrespectful children right before a miraculous she-bear tears two-and-forty of them limb-from-limb for disrespecting Cooch Dave Daubenmire.

      “Go on up!” They taunted him. “Go up, Old Bald Head! Go on, Old Corn Poke!”
      “What the fuck is an Old Corn Poke, Jephthias?”
      “Shut up, Mahashalephthiamalam! God, you’re such a dick.”
      “RRRRRAWWWWRRRRRRR!”

      (I actually think he was trying to say something about not being “corn-pone,” which is kind of like corny or being a hick, but it’s an adjective, or was, back when people said it.)

  • PhranquenMeems

    I’d make comments about him needing to come out, but we don’t want him either, folks.

    • persistently_resistant_gayby

      I’m placing a rod between the two handles of the closet.

  • Don Gwinn

    To be fair, Rachel Maddow’s advice call-in show never really found its footing, did it? There are people you should take advice from (like Cooch Daubenmire and Dan Savage) and then there are people whose advice should never be followed (like Rachel Maddow and the McElroy Brothers. Travis insists he’s a sexpert, but if there’s a degree on his wall, I haven’t seen it.)

  • persistently_resistant_gayby

    Ugh, another Jesus-dude telling LEZBERs & GAYBIES to sex it up like heteros because Jesus told us so is the very definition of idiocy.

    Go. Fuck. Yourself. Repeatedly. With. A. Cross. (with votes)

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Jeremiah was a bullfrog, and a good friend of mine. Stop making fun of Jeremiah, RACHEL MADDOW, you big lesbo!

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