This post is about construction and home improvement.

It is also about self-awareness and self-direction, I guess. Kind of interesting, actually, as I've observed this change in me: in my childhood and early teens, I was "raised" and whipped into a good boy on the outside, emotional derelict on the inside kind of a fool. I spent years being miserable and chasing external goals that didn't even fit my personality. Kept at it through my early twenties, didn't exactly become self-aware till the age of 25 or so. Even then, becoming self-aware was (and still is) a painful process.

Now, I just want to do things, to put myself first, and to change the unsatisfactory instead of bitching about it. The house is relatively big, but I do share the same floor with my dad - and they guy can be a bit of a little Hitler at times. So, fuck that. I want to rebuild the attic of the house. This involves, more or less, this:

• Throw out the enormous amounts of junk other people put there (such as TVs from the 60s, you can imagine...)

• Come up with an architectonic design for the place

• Redo the roof cover as a whole

• Insulate the insides

• Do the walls, and the floor

• Heating, electricity, furniture, appliances

An attic - what for? Oh, a floor of my own, to do it my way. The purpose?

• A place to sleep undisturbed

• An artistic studio (something I'd really like to do)

• A place to invite girls over for "Netflix and cuddles" (and fuckies, obviously)

Its only an attic, because with my shit pay, I can't afford a house. Might hit that stride of well-paid jobs in about five years; but this, this is here and now. Feels good to make a decision like that (hell, that goes for any decision that has a long(ish) positive effect on one's life).

So I guess that:

• I'm accepting tips and tricks regarding this whole construction business. Looking for ways to save money, thinking about which of the aforementioned construction tasks are easily done in a DIY fashion.

• We can also talk about that self-awareness / self-direction thing. Different guys have different experiences in there, I guess. Some of them are "I'm 17, high school sloots suck, and I want to go MGTOW". Some of them wake up from the blue-pill bliss through their marriage, into an actual nightmare.