When a nerd breast feeds... [OC]

FuckSeizureSalads · 2時間前

I don't understand how new parents do this.

All I managed to keep track of with a newborn was "Is he still alive? Am I still alive? Good."

motherofdragoons · 3時間前

Here's how I got my data. I breastfed my daughter for just over 15 months.

I used an app called "feed baby" to track feeds consistently for the first 5 months.

I went back to work when she was 14 weeks old and used this app to track pumping.

Data on the nursing's between 6 and 15 months is based on how often (average) she nursed and how long she usually took, this is based on memory to some degree so I'd say its 80% accurate.

For the ounces per nursing I based this on research and weighted feeds I did. For the first 3 months I used 2 ounces per 20 minutes, next 4 months 3 ounces per feed and 4 ounces per feed after that. That's a average/guess some babies will be more, some less.

For the first 3 months I spent an average of 4.8 hours per day nursing.

Calories is based on an average of 20 calories per ounce per kellymom.com

This is not scientific! This is based on my own experience and personal record keeping! I used excel to compile the data exported from the app.

bhadau8 · 2時間前

I am going to be a father in a few months. I am screwed. Up to 15 times diaper change per day. You kidding?

skrln · 2時間前

Got it. When I become a father I'll give it 320 big macs and be done with it until kindergarten. Thanks for the research.

theotherrusty · 1時間前

Why on earth is this tagged NSFW? Does anyone in their right mind really consider merely talking about breastfeeding NSFW?

Edit: The tag appears to be removed. Good news, but it's very sad to know that some people think the mere discussion of breastfeeding is NSFW...

Trollw00t · 2時間前

Refering to your diaper diagram this is probably the most informational shitpost on reddit.

cmd-t · 1時間前

OP, did you mark this nsfw yourself? If so, do you really consider this to be nsfw?

RedDevilsEggs · 2時間前

70 gallons out of the boobs? Holy crap, they aren't joking when they say babies suck the life out of em...

parposbio · 1時間前

Why is this marked NSFW? This post only includes a well-articulated set of data and nothing else. Just because the word "breast" is in the title doesn't mean it's NSFW.

Silocon · 2時間前

Wow, at the height in months 5 and 6, you were expending 6-7,000 calories per month or ~225 calories/day on breast milk. That's about 10% of the average woman's daily intake!

Is 225 calories/day about right for a 5 month old? I really have no idea, I've not had kids! Were there other foods not recorded here?

Cool data, thanks for sharing.

ShaiNoy · 1時間前

I'm having a hard time understanding what could be possibly NSFW in this post...

alice-in-canada-land · 2時間前

I like how randomly varied the feeding is.

Certainly confirms my experience of nursing. Half the exhaustion is not knowing what to expect.

lippertstick · 2時間前

Now, the verb "to breastfeed" can mean either to give or to receive milk. And I just want to say that anyone who's receiving that much milk shouldn't be able to do data tracking on it.

lampshade9909 · 2時間前

How about some birth control for the teenagers out there. Please describe in detail what it was like to change 15 diapers on that peak day.

toomanyburritos · 1時間前

I think this is beautiful and inspiring. I'm 4 days overdue and going out of my mind but this gave me a huge sense of comfort. I'm total type A Virgo and will probably do something similar if this baby ever comes out.

HereticalSkeptic · 1時間前

I see a direct correlation between amount of feeding and amount of diaper changing.

I have a hypotheses that in this case, correlation is causation.

So, new parents, you know what to do to reduce the number of diaper changings.

DarwinianMonkey · 1時間前

I wanted this thread to be about a 20 year old guy with tape on his glasses still feeding from the teat.

morgunus · 59分前

What the fuck happened at the end of December. Am i reading a child required 16 diaper changes in a single day. Did you feed it blended taco bell with exlax holy shit.

nate1212 · 2時間前

Fellow nerd here.

Big Macs should not have an apostrophe.

Bothered the fuck out of me.

grumpymario · 1時間前

OP, your username and your post together suggest you breast fed some dragons. Is that the case? I'm impressed.

Immediate edit: I can't read without those glasses. But damn I'll just leave it here.

BunsMunchHay · 1時間前

Fellow data nerd here and I am due in April. My collegues are forcing me to take 3+ months of maternity leave but I'm afraid I will be bored. I can see myself making something like this. I can also see myself wishing I had time to be bored between 6 hours of nursing and 8-12 diaper changes per day, sheesh!

Cheeseand0nions · 1時間前

Anyone else notice the huge monthly dip in volume produced? one day a month and later one day every two weeks there is a day when milk production is way, way donw from all the surrounding days. Might have something to do with the mother's monthly hormonal cycles.

anal_boner · 1時間前

That's a lot of milk.

When my daughter was born she refused to latch. So, we had to exclusively bottle feed her, but my wife still pumped for her. At her pumping height she was producing between 55-65 ounces every day. That went on for about 7 months.

iamasher92 · 1時間前

This is awesome, my Fiancée would love this. She had to pump because our daughter is G-Tube fed. But she was writing down how much she pumped daily and kept a pretty detailed log. Nothing compared to this!

She was pumping enough for twins and at the time I believe our daughter wasn't taking more than 25-100ml a feed for her first few months. At one point we eneded up having both our grandparents and my parents deep freezers full pf breast milk. If you find yourself with leftovers when breastfeeding is done look into donating or selling it. The stuff is liquid gold.

Gonzostewie · 1時間前

My wife would have loved to do something like this. As it is, she kept a journal with the first one and used it to gauge the second's eating habits. She's crazy but she's productive/constructive crazy & that's why I love her.

Trialzero · 50分前

December 29, 2016 was the shittiest day of the year.

Seriously, 14-15 diaper changes on that day? what the fuck happened? Did Taco Bell come out of your breasts?

wingchild · 2時間前

Is the average time spent feeding actually cumulative time spent feeding? I can't see how you survived the first three months otherwise, packing an 12 to 13 feedings into a day, each of which lasted four to five hours straight based on the average time. Days would need to be 48 hours long, or longer.

They may have felt that way, come to think of it.

Demonicmonk · 2時間前

So I didn't read everything, I apologize if this was discussed prior. It seems like there is a (Very) large spike in the amount the kid ate right before a general fall off of how much they ate in general? Is that true? Do you think/notice if they came with any kind of growth spurts?

phess92 · 2時間前

Were the sharp drops in pumping at around 4/21/2016 and 5/31/2016 due to anything specific?

Luder714 · 1時間前

That's a shitload (pun intended) of diaper changes. Are you using cloth diapers?

Edit: This has first child written all over it :) I appreciate the info. Interesting.

GestaltJungle · 1時間前

12 diaper changes per day?! Does breast feeding make this more likely? My son had nowhere near this: 3 a day tops.

regularforcesmedic · 1時間前

I'd also want to see correlative data on sleep, teething, and illness. Because I'm curious that way. Any chance you did this?

lexonhym · 1時間前

Do you have a version using the age of the child on the axis instead of the date?

whats_a_bylaw · 1時間前

I used the same app, but was lucky to make 5oz per day at most. (IGT sucks.) It was great for tracking formula feeds. I charted my output, too, but tossed it when I tossed the pump. Good on you for being persistent.

motherofdragoons · 1時間前

Here is more poop data for those interested http://imgur.com/a/PXZd5

Robotic_Pedant · 1時間前

"March 8: did not feed Navy at all. Diapers continued to be soiled. Looking into alternative causes."

forgotyourbriefcase · 1時間前

Am i the only one who is confused as to how there can be 0.6 of a feed?

1LostInSpaceAgain · 1時間前

Why is this NSFW? Labeling a normal function like feeding a child as not safe for work increases the misconception that it's abnormal.

bluerocketsflying · 1時間前

There is a lot of variation among infants. My girl is 9 weeks old and takes one massive dump every other day.

39分前

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CanadianAstronaut · 38分前

Can anyone calculate, based on the volumes, how many calories the mother provided?

33分前

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h0bb3z · 31分前

Not sure why this is considered NSFW. Breast feeding is a natural thing that has been done for literally centuries. American society has some really stupid taboos on shit.

Edit -- also, this is awesome.

Quasar_Cross · 29分前

Wow. Based on how much fat and calories they ingest from breast milk, I assume babies are basically coffee cream.

4448144484 · 27分前

Nurses in the maternity ward should show the first chart that details how many Big Macs the calories add up to as incentive for women who are desperate to "get rid of the baby weight."

Many women would have extra motivation to "keep with it."

aminimalisticwitch · 19分前

Lord I would lose it haha. I tried tracking feeds and it just drove me nuts. I kept track of diapers instead. This is cool though! Still nursing my 18mo, I wonder how many nursing sessions we've had in that time lol.

siliconsmiley · 18分前

How do you estimate the volume when nursing? Is there a meter somewhere that I'm unaware of?

senses3 · 16分前

Holy crap, I had no idea newborns would eat like 10+ times a day! That's nuts. Not to mention they apparently poop (or pee I guess) about the same number of times.

These graphs were very enlightening indeed.

Electric_Cat · 16分前

You have to change a baby 14 times a day? holy shit I'm not ready for that

oh_like_you_know · 15分前

gotta step up your game - I have a friend who used a kitchen scale to weigh her baby before and after every feed so she could capture ounces fed without pumping. but really, great work!

Kyle_Crafty · 11分前

For a sense of how much that actually is (75 gallon fish tank)

9分前

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ZeusHatesTrees · 2時間前

10 ounces per day (month 6) a lot, isn't it? I dunno, I'm a guy, just going by what my also nerd sister tells me about how boob math works.

bannydinns · 1時間前

If you're old enough to use excel you probably shouldn't still be breastfeeding.

ClickHereForUpvote · 2時間前

12... Twelve... Diapers per day? Maybe people should sneak some fibre into breast milk?

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