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Sean Spicer

Oh, dear baby Jesus in heaven, this “presidential” administration gets more and more ridiculous. We have news from the weekend that Press Secretary Sean Spicer pulled a bunch of people into his office to yell at them and take their phones, because of how this White House leaks like a Russian pee hooker who accidentally started peeing before the American president was even in the room, not that the American president would be into such a thing. Did Spicer catch anybody in the act? Nah, leaking is the oldest art form in Washington, and these people aren’t stupid. Did news about his angry meeting about leaks immediately leak to the press? LOL of course it did:

Last week, after Spicer became aware that information had leaked out of a planning meeting with about a dozen of his communications staffers, he reconvened the group in his office to express his frustration over the number of private conversations and meetings that were showing up in unflattering news stories, according to sources in the room.

Upon entering Spicer’s office for what one person briefed on the gathering described as “an emergency meeting,” staffers were told to dump their phones on a table for a “phone check,” to prove they had nothing to hide.

Spicer, who consulted with White House counsel Don McGahn before calling the meeting, was accompanied by White House lawyers in the room, according to multiple sources.

Hahahaha, pathetic.

Apparently Spicer tried to threaten them and say they’re not allowed to use apps like Signal and Confide, that destroy all traces of whatever you just said to whomever, and obviously the staffers were VERY A-SKEERED OF HIM, because they all the left the meeting and somebody immediately met a journalist in a parking garage, Watergate Style we assume, to leak the story. What is Sean Spicer going to do now, BAN PARKING GARAGES AND AUTOMOBILES?

We don’t actually know if this story was leaked in a parking garage, because we are talking out of our ass like we usually do. But we figure it was probably something like that. Another hilarious thing about this Sean Spicer meeting about leaks is that he reportedly told all the kids that they would be in BIG TROUBLE MISTER if news about his leaky meeting about leaks ended up leaking. Ha ha! We are talking about it right now!

Here is an entertaining paragraph from the Politico:

The campaign to sniff out a series of damaging leaks, which Spicer is convinced originated from his communications department, has led to a tense environment in the West Wing. During meetings, the press secretary has repeatedly berated his aides, launching expletive-filled tirades in which he’s accused them of disclosing sensitive information to reporters and saying that they’ve disappointed him.

Hey, we have an idea! What if the Trump White House wasn’t a gi-normous shitshow of failure and questionable legality? We bet there wouldn’t be much to leak then! As it is, literally nobody in America besides Trump’s close cronies in his regime believes in him, and that is how it will remain until he is impeached or resigns in disgrace, in Jesus’s holy name, A-Fucking-Men.

[Politico]

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  • Nounverb911

    Sean, check with John Dean, I’m sure he can give the names of some plumbers to fix those leaks.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Beratings will continue until loyalty improves!”
    — Sean Spicer

  • Nounverb911
  • SnarkON

    First White House staffer to surreptitiously capture one of Spicer’s tirades on video gets a pony.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Better be a yuuuuuuge number of people in that room. I’d fear for the life of anyone leaking something that specific and damning heard only by a small number of folks.

      • folderol

        You get one of those little tie-pin video cameras. That’ll work until the body cavity searches are instituted.

        • CogitoErgoBibo

          No way I’d do it without massive numbers of people in the meeting. It’s not about whether they literally catch you with the equipment; it’s about having a small, manageable number of people to fire or worse. Room with a ton of people? Too many potential targets and more safety to the leaker.

  • DahBoner
  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Hillz managed to keep all manner of skullduggery and outright treason secret for 30 years, is all I’m sayin’.

  • The Librarian
  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Donald, a few simple executions will keep the rest in line. It’s what we in Russia call ‘tough love’.”
    — The always helpful Vladimir Putin

    • schmannity

      IK,R.

      –Kim Jung Un

  • kareemachan

    I hope that when his head esplodes from this, it’ll be on TV.

  • Nounverb911
    • Beowoof14

      Start with laying off people like Sean and Sean himself. .

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Love the “it’s” from professional communicator.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      And lengthen its tie.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Sean, if your garbage administration’s only flaw was excessive fiscal hawkery I COULD LIVE WITH IT. But that’s only the tip of the shitberg.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Anyone who promises to cut taxes and double Defense spending is going to balloon the National Debt. We’ve seen this before, in the 80’s and the Aughts.

        • The Wanderer

          Ghosts of Reagans Past.

        • Jennaratrix

          And yet, so many people love Reagan. My American history students, most of whom weren’t even alive when Reagan was president, spend Week 7 of our course writing love letters to Reagan and praising him as the bestest preznit EVAR. It’s nauseating.

        • Lance Thrustwell

          Well, it is pretty hard, all this adding and subtracting stuff. All you need to know is that “growth” is going to happen, and that will fix every problem. Oh, and “freedom,” and “strength.” I don’t blame you if you’re getting aroused by these sexy words. That’s how Republicans react to them.

          • Jennaratrix

            You forgot “trickle down.” They LOVE trickle down.

          • nothingisamiss

            You forgot liberty from tyranny, unless it’s the tyranny of white supremacists.

        • Bebecca

          you mean any time we’ve had a republican president.

    • Shibusa

      A good place to start belt-tightening is Presidential Mar-a-Lago travel budget. Also SS protection for Marie Antoinette Trump’s second residence is costing a million dollars a day.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Spicer will leave no phone unturned to stop his communications staff from communicating with the press/American sheeple.

    Side note: Did Price-Waterhouse also count the Presidential ballots? ‘Cause there may be a problem.

    • Nounverb911

      According to Michael Moore they did.
      https://twitter.com/MMFlint/status/836083300120813568

      • Wild Cat

        I’m glad Michael Moore is on this one! Since his career exploded, corporate outsourcing has receded, gun violence and weapons fetishism has diminished, racial relations have improved at a heart-warming pace,the people have embraced national healthcare . . . o, wait!

  • Beowoof14

    Yeah okay Sean, like these guys aren’t smart enough to pick up a burner phone. Damn the Trump guys are just like Trump, kind of not bright.

  • memzilla Ω
    • FlownΩver

      What?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        You younglings. Never getting the references from the 60’s.

        • Oblios_Cap

          I was always impressed with how well it worked.

      • memzilla Ω
    • nothingisamiss

      You win the internets with us olds!!!

  • onedollarjuana

    Loyalty oaths, purges, eavesdropping, propaganda. As I recall, these were all the hallmarks of that nasty regime now run by Mr. Putin.

    • Nounverb911

      Putin ran the Nixon administration?

    • Jennaratrix

      Has the Great Loyalty Oath Crusade begun yet? And who is going to play the part of Major —— de Coverley and bring it all to a screeching halt?

  • Lizzietish81

    Well when you have the President holding top secret meetings at his Winter Weekend Whitehouse in front of tourists it’s pretty much an uphill battle.

    • Beowoof14

      Yes but Trump did figure out that he could charge more to be a member of Mar-A-Lago, cause the floor show has real consequences. The grift continues.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      In fairness, Little Donnie gave all those tourists Top Secret clearance a couple days later.

  • ImPEECH!

    launching expletive-filled tirades

    Haha, I’m just trying to picture a frustrated republican tool lacing his invectives with profanity in between chomps of chewing gum~

  • goonemeritus

    If I didn’t know for a fact that this administration is running “like a well oiled machine” I would be a little worried.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    What.a.putz

  • shivaskeeper

    I was in charge of quite a few people during my Army days. I also had a lot of bosses. I am drawn to this line:

    “During meetings, the press secretary has
    repeatedly berated his aides, launching expletive-filled tirades in
    which he’s accused them of disclosing sensitive information to reporters
    and saying that they’ve disappointed him.”

    As a leader, depending on who screwed up, sometimes yelling at them worked, sometimes some form of counseling or retraining worked, sometimes just telling someone they disappointed you was more than enough.

    However for the disappointment angle to work they have to respect you to begin with. If there is no genuine respect they will not care if you are disappointed in them. I have a feeling Spicey has not learned this yet and much like damn near the entirety of the Admin, he will not learn it.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      That seems like the perspective of someone who gives a flying fuck. Not sure Sean is one of those.

      • shivaskeeper

        It’s leadership 101. Give respect to get respect. Respect is a two way street. Respect is not fear. If there is no respect, there can be no leadership.

        • cmd resistor

          I had a sudden vision of staff members sitting there with straws and spitballs aimed at Spicer.

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            I imagine them making jerk-off motions while he’s berating them.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          And this is where they fail.

        • Liberal Fascist Ron

          They don’t want to be leaders. They want to be dictators.

          • shivaskeeper

            Which is why they will not succeed.

    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      You lost him at “respect.” He has no idea what that is, having never inspired it in anyone.

    • OneYieldRegular

      If my boss had called us all into her office and demanded to see our cell phones and have lawyers paw through them, I would quit on the spot. I mean, what kind of people would put up with shit like that?

      • shivaskeeper

        Depends on what, if any, NDA’s were signed and what the scope of them is. The fact Spicy had a lawyer standing by seems to be a not good sign. I never got any of my personal things searched but government issue was subject to search at any time. I think if they asked for personal devices I would have to talk to the legal dept. first.

    • I imagine having Sean Spicer say he’s disappointed in you is a badge of honor to his staff members.

      • shivaskeeper

        I think the real trick would be to not at him while he was saying it. That’s what I would trouble with.

  • schmannity

    What is Sean Spicer going to do now, BAN PARKING GARAGES AND AUTOMOBILES

    New White House briefing protocol:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3e902a44f6d1cdaa10ec278a299d103dd0dc7a334bc0243b2aa983004be4f72a.jpg

    • stormkite

      Sutez haz pocketses. Must be nekkid to use briefing room.

    • memzilla Ω

      *ahem* Missed it by that much.

    • Liberal Fascist Ron

      WHAT’S THAT, CHIEF?

  • Me not sure

    Wasn’t Steve Bannon in the Navy? Maybe he’s really a deep cover mole? https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/99f18cfafdb9888f64bf5430448b28e01baa6aa90701d84510d541a2c2927716.jpg

  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    Leaks don’t really matter because eventually whatever has been leaked would get out through the Twit Monster and will look stupid anyway.

    May I say: Sad, pathetic, weak.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Gee, maybe the Chinese are hacking popular vote loser Trump’s insecure mobile phone. Maybe that’s where the leaks (not the pee hooker type) are coming from.

    • AJ Milne

      This would assume Trump actually _knows_ things worth leaking…

      … So dunno. Maybe stuff involving more _literal_ leaks?

  • Zonath

    Better presidents than yours have tried and failed to control the flow of information out of the White House, Ms. Spicer. Yoogely better presidents.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      As I noted earlier, Sean makes Ron Ziegler look like CJ Cregg.

      • Bebecca

        I’m watching West Wing, all 7 seasons, on Netflix, yearning for the time when we had a true liberal in the WH…

  • folderol
  • Bill D. Burger

    Best leak so far was when Spicy sent out a memo to his staff saying LEAKS ARE OVER…and they would all be monitored and reviewed and stopped NOW.

    The memo leaked within the hour.

  • Michael R
    • Liberal Fascist Ron

      Have they stopped using it to drain the swamp?

  • I do love John Oliver’s epithet for Spicer:

    Melissa McCarthy impersonator Sean Spicer

  • Jennaratrix

    As long as the ones doing the leaking are smart, there won’t be anything to find. Use only their own phones, on their own time, for information passing, and leave them at home or in their cars or whatever so the only phones that can be checked are their government-issued ones. Which seems to be what they’re doing; pretty sad when (comparatively) low-level staffers are smarter than the people they’re working for. Not that that’s such a high bar…

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      RoguePOTUSStaff on Twitter says they spend a considerable amount of money on burner phones for their set of leakers posting to the account. So they at least started out knowing these searches could become part of the daily WH protocol.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        They planned ahead.

        Unlike the Melissa McCarthy impersonator.

      • Jennaratrix

        It’s almost worth wading back into the septic tank that is Twitter just to follow that account; instead, I just hope people post the best stuff from it here and other places I read.

        • GoutMachine

          Does anyone actually use Twitter anymore? I found it not to be a septic tank so much as just drinking from the firehose. Can’t organize easily, too much stuff. I think the only time I see something there it’s when people post tweets in places like this.

          • Jennaratrix

            Yeah, that’s more accurate.

          • Lance Thrustwell

            You can just Google feed titles, right? I don’t think you need to have an account to read whatever you want.

          • Biff52

            I don’t have an account, I only read whatever tweets I see here or in the ‘ville. And, I daresay, I hate the format.

          • Lance Thrustwell

            A mild irony might be found in the fact that the slight majority of Wonkette (Disqus) posts are within a 140 character limit. But I sympathize with your viewpoint.

          • Biff52

            I don’t mind the brevity, it’s all the “@” this and “#” that that pisses me off. Also, I don’t trust those bit.ly type of shortened url’s, I’ve been burned before.

          • Lance Thrustwell

            #Iknowwhatyoumean

          • GoutMachine

            Yeah, I guess so. I used to look at it a lot back when it first started – like when waiting in line at the coffee shop. But I soon got sick of the incessant stream. And there’s no good way to group stuff. I mean, they have that functionality, technically, but it’s a pain in the ass. I just gave up.

          • AJ Milne

            Feeling better now, seriously, about abandoning it myself. Not just me. Nice to know.

            Equally seriously, Trump can’t be helping the brand. Twitter: the preferred medium of shouty racist grandpas.

          • CogitoErgoBibo

            I use Twitter, however I use it differently than most. I absolutely never go to my “home” feed. I’ve organized everyone into lists. The secrets they never tell you about lists could fill a book.

            * Most of the people you follow fall into categories anyway, so why not group them?

            *You don’t have to follow someone to add them to a list. I don’t follow Trumpy; he’s on a private list I’ve created.

            *There is no “sponsored content” on a list feed. Only tweets from people you’ve added to the list.

            *Tweets are absolutely always in chronological order. No “While you were away” tweets.

          • GoutMachine

            Wow. Now, if I’d known this about five years ago, I might still be using it :) It’s like those useful things about iOS that Apple never bothers to tell you

          • CogitoErgoBibo

            I only learned by creating lists and noticing how they behaved. I realized you don’t have to follow to add to a list by unfollowing someone and realizing their tweets were still appearing in the list to which I’d assigned them. Very much trial and error. No one told me either.

          • nothingisamiss

            The “while you were away” and the “You might also like” are the two things I hate about twitter. But I’m addicted to it, I’ll admit. Those 140 characters were about all I could digest after the election until, oh, February or so. Quick on, quick off, less weeping, lamenting and anger for me.

          • CogitoErgoBibo

            None of the “you might like” tweets in a list feed either. It’s absolutely the best way to go to save your sanity.

          • nothingisamiss

            I actually love twitter. I cull the bad, but at its best it can be like fresh wonkette comments. Also good for very quickly breaking news.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Yup, anonymous burners are the way to go. Btw, has it been established yet if the roguePOTUS twitter thing is real, or at least probably real? I seem to recall it seemed kinda sketchy at first.

        • CogitoErgoBibo

          Nothing established, however I’ve seen nothing on that account which speaks to untrustworthiness. I presume that’s the only way to judge the account without having the people behind it risk their jobs. Verification just isn’t possible, so judge the content.

  • GoutMachine

    Shouldn’t he pull a Tyrion Lannister and tell three different things to three different people and see what ends up in the Post?

    • All of them, Melissa

    • Jennaratrix

      That would require brains, forethought, and planning. Come on. If they could do that, they’d be running things well and not have these problems.

    • anwisok

      That would work, wouldn’t it? I’m betting all three stories would get out, though!

    • Zonath

      But then what does he do when all three things end up in the Post, plus a fourth thing he only told his teddy bear?

      • CogitoErgoBibo

        “Teddy, gimme your cell phone. NOW.”

      • Jennaratrix

        “Mr. Winkles, I don’t think anyone likes me. I has a sad.”

        Post story: SPICER MOST HATED MAN IN WASHINGTON, ACCORDING TO CLOSEST CONFIDANTE

    • Oblios_Cap

      I’m surprised that he hasn’t thought about that. Then I realized that we’re dealing with dumbfucks.

      • anon_the_great

        I’m sure he tried but fucked it up.

        • Crank Tango

          He ended up telling each one of them a different one of his passwords.

    • folderol

      I’m sure each story has to be corroborated with another source. Now, if they are as clever as they think they are, they tell new lies to two random people over and over again and deduce the culprit. Maybe. I suspect there’s plenty of cloak and dagger layers of the onion than you and I can imagine.

    • Crank Tango

      Spoiler alert: ALL THREE THINGS END UP IN THE POST

  • anon_the_great

    That ought to fix moral.

    For a administration that oozes teenage boy Id ya think they’d know the best way to get someone to do something is to tell them not to.

  • The Wanderer

    Spicer strikes me as someone who’s incredibly constipated. I recommend high colonics and Metamucil spooned into his morning coffee to ease the blockage and lighten his mood.

    Failing that, some hash brownies.

    • Sandy Beaches

      Laying off the gum eating habit would probably help, too.

      • PubOption

        He stands a good chance of gumming up his works at the moment.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    Every day, working in the White House sounds more like living in a household headed by an abusive dad with a hairtrigger, never knowing what’s going to set him off or when…except there are about 5 or 6 dads ready to leap out and terrify you.

    • Crank Tango

      Worst Fantasy Island episode evar.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    The leaks will continue until representative democracy is reestablished.

  • Wren1

    Poor guy, and with an assistant like Mike Huckabee’s daughter how can t get any funnier?

    • chicken thief

      Huckleberry has a daughter? She abuse dogs, too?

  • folderol
  • GemlikeFlame

    I have an idea. Fire the entire office and put Kellyanne in there. Nobody believes a word she says, so problem solved.

  • o’look Skwerl!

    Parking garage? What is this, the 1970s? It was transmitted through those “commuter bikes” that tourist use.

    https://www.capitalbikeshare.com/

    http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7108/6860529080_422e97caf8.jpg

  • Lizzietish81

    Soon in the Oval Office

    ETA: I need to watch the whole video before I post, then it gets weird.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VIHtxWsEhJw

  • Stulexington

    *gasp!* he actually used the D word! They are in such big trouble you have no idea!

  • Medusa

    Anybody check Spicer & Cohen’s phones?

  • AJ Milne

    ‘Did news about his angry meeting about leaks immediately leak to the press? LOL of course it did…’

    Warning: laughing hard enough that you need an oxygen bottle is unlikely to be covered by RyanCouldn’tCareLess. Please read responsibly.

  • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

    “Melissa McCarthy impersonator Sean Spicer.” That’s what we need to call him.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Thanks for watching this weeks exciting episode of “Oww! My Balls!”

    • I can’t find what we’re supposed to be aiming for…target is too small

      • Liberal Fascist Ron

        Use really big shoes and just aim for where his thighs rub together.

  • wait! what?

    It’s the anniversary of the Reichstag fire. To comemmorate, China plans on setting fire to North Korea.

    https://mobile.nytimes.com/2017/02/24/world/asia/china-north-korea-relations-kim-jong-un.html

  • Me not sure
  • zerosumgame0005
    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      I never could stand that prick.

    • Me not sure

      Fake from day one. He will go wherever the money is good.

    • Moebym the Persistent Returner

      Damn him. I had trusted him, but it looks like that trust was misplaced.

    • Biff52

      It breaks my heart that Thom Hartmann draws a check from RT, too. He says they give him editorial autonomy, but I watched his show once, and the slant was unmistakable.

    • Terpsichord

      His porcine visage always gave me the creeps.

  • Michael Smith

    The heroes of a story very rarely go on paranoid rampages in which they harass and restrict the personal freedoms of all of their team members. Usually that’s a villain move. Has this occurred to them?

    If I posted this on Facebook the responses would be “Its the liberals who are the villains for infiltrating every level of government and undermining any attempt by real Americans to change anything, because they would rather destroy the county in defense of their sick, failed socialist agenda than admit defeat.”

    But, that’s exactly the kind of thing a villain would say.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Needz moar Obama people

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      The people you interact with on Facebook spell a lot better than the ones I remember.

    • capnkrunch
      • Michael Smith

        hahaha precisely

  • schmannity

    But I thought the Trump dump liked leakers, like that nice Mr. Assange and his friend, FSB.

  • Chadwells
  • Chris Hall

    I can just imagine this meeting; all the time he’s yelling there’s a man in unconvincing stage makeup and a blue rinse wig giving out coffee, saying, in an obviously fake old lady voice, “Don’t mind me dearie, soon be out your way”.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    LOL – Jonathan Karl just explaining that the majority of Trump’s support came from white, elderly people without a college education. Those same people in the rust belt who voted for him, are about to get fucked by him and Ryan on Obamacare. Sorry, suckers, we tried to warn you!!!!

    • JD Mulvey

      I LOVE the uneducated!

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I hate that good people are going to get fucked, too, but I’d be a liar if I said I’m not enjoying this little bit of schadenfreude. The fact that Trump’s going to do a massive military buildup is also delightful, because he’s going to gut all the major agencies that actually benefit people. Building up the military only helps young people who work for military contractors, it’s going to screw everyone else, because eventually SS and Medicare WILL be cut to try to pay for all of this crap. Thanks, GOP, it’s always a pleasure getting screwed by you!

    • JohnBull

      Well, not all of us tried. Some of us gave up talking to these human shitsacks some time ago.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I have a few elderly acquaintances who are Republicans. I try to tell them they’re screwing themselves by voting for the GOP, but they are genuinely idiots who don’t understand how government works. I am hoping they live long enough to get screwed by Trump and Ryan.

  • Bebecca

    How stupid would a leaker have to be to use work-issued email or phone to talk to the media? But we are talking about republicans, never have been the sharpest tools in the shed.

    • o’look Skwerl!

      Probably just use a payphone in the men’s room.

    • Jennaratrix

      They aren’t. Which is why we haven’t heard about a bunch of leaking leakers being fired.

  • chicken thief

    “…according to sources in the room.”

    So basically Spicey calls a meeting with his aides, then the aides call a meeting with the press?

  • Sandy Beaches

    It’s this type of comic relief that keeps me sane.

    • Jennaratrix

      I’m quite enjoying the schadengasm.

      • Sandy Beaches

        “schadengasm” – stealing.

        • Jennaratrix

          Steal away, dog knows I did.

  • MynameisBlarney

    4th from the bottom, yeah…that’s the one.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C5mUB3HXQAEMZ35.jpg

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Subscriptions are up.

      • Biff52

        Bigly.

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      I’m not saying that’s not true I’m just saying wasn’t the truth as important DURING the election?

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Spicer: “RESPECT MAH AUTHORITEH!”
    Aides: “Sorry, what? I was just feeding the Times this juicy scoop.”

  • Longstreet63

    Even these incompetent loons are likely to catch someone eventually. My question is: is being caught going to be bad or good for that staffer, given that Trump will be wished into the cornfield by the Republican Party once things start to really collapse…

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance
    • Oblios_Cap

      Nice…

    • MizzMazz

      Now do it in Aldis lamp.

  • thewalkindude
  • chicken thief

    Wait, is this FAKE NEWS!!! or are the leaks really happening?

    • Jamoche

      The leaks are happening, and the leaks about how to handle the leaks, and the leaks about what SNL should do next…

  • JD Mulvey

    I’m not so sure about the Watergate/parking garage idea. I picture every grubby old man’s bar within ten miles of the White House playing host to blabbermouthing WH staffers getting soused and crying into their double bourbons. Then the content of said blabbering makes the early a.m. editions.

  • MynameisBlarney

    “The most important thing I do in my pu8blic life.”

    http://www.democraticunderground.com/10028715546

    Well, get on that shit then, Senator! Kick names and take ass!

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Oh, but it totally gets better… Presumably after the inimitable Olivia Nuzzi tweeted a picture of Spicer on her Confide list (because of course Olivia Nuzzi has Sean Spicer on her Confide list),

    Spicer also deleted the Confide app from his phone to show that
    high-ranking officials weren’t immune to rules and regulations, Fox News
    learned.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Who leaked that to Faux News?

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Maybe someone connected to the guy they hired to take over part of his job without telling him?

    • Longstreet63

      The WH Press Secretary counts as a “High-ranking official”?
      I’m pretty sure he doesn’t make policy, so much as being an empty mouthpiece. Maybe they need to give him a uniform.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Hey, if Omarosa can be an Honorable (jk she’s not) Spicer can be a ‘high-ranking official’ (who’s been carrying around and using an illegal app for leaking to freaking 22 year old reporters)

      • Ghenghis McCann

        I believe Hugo Boss designed uniforms at one time. They can give him a call.

      • LesBontemps

        They’re gonna make him Field Marshal Spicer, on account of his combat service. In the briefing room.

      • Meccalopolis

        T rump tower doormen uniforms for all!

  • Nockular cavity

    Might as well tell Republicans to stop using Grindr.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    ♫ Who put the derp in the derp da derp da derp ♫

  • thewalkindude
  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    Imagine the idea of having to bring lawyers into a meeting with your staff. Threatening them. It does not occur to them something is seriously wrong with an administration that is less than 60 days old?

    • TJ Barke

      IOKIYAR.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I love it that the people Trump CHOSE to work for him aren’t even loyal to him. Gives me great confidence in his ability to choose people wisely.

      • snark-lurker

        That OPOS could not find one loyal person on this planet to save its own life. Them who give it, get it; all others are fuck you when the chips are down.

    • Doug Langley

      At least Tricky Dick could keep things running smoothly for a few years.

      • SweetDeeKat

        Does anyone remember Ron Ziegler? I was a teen then, but remember him as a huge butt of jokes. (Heh, heh.) Not nearly as crazy as Batshit Spice, tho.

    • chicken thief

      Next meeting – armed security!

  • canes_pugnaces

    Once a sphincter always a sphincter…

  • chicken thief

    “Spicer, who consulted with White House counsel Don McGahn…”

    It’s always good to run your meeting agenda by the one guy in the WH more incompetent than you before proceeding.

  • wavicles

    Rahh – minnn

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Does his Spicey senses tingle when something is leaked?

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    “FAKE NEWS! There was no real news that was leaked, and once we find out which asshole leaked that news, they’re in big trouble. Nothing to see here, people, move along.”

    • GoutMachine

      Those responsible have been sacked. And those responsible for sacking the people who have just been sacked have been sacked.

  • Jenny

    One simple rule for the dumb dumbs in the White House.

    “Don’t start no shit, won’t be no shit.”

  • Martini Ambassador

    If the Trump administration (barf!) wasn’t filled with so many petty, self-involved, only-in-it-for-themselves dictators, then maybe they might inspire some loyalty in their staff. That fish, however, rots from the head, so there’s no way that culture is ever going to shift into anything other than further dysfunction.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      It’s hard to build a Mafia from scratch. You need to hire family, and … oh wait…

  • OneYieldRegular

    Hell, a staffer could simply flip the lights on and off in Morse code, or close and open the blinds in a window, or wear a certain color tie, or, you know, just stand there doing nothing and we’d still get the message that this White House was filled with saboteurs and corrupt incompetents.

    • thewalkindude

      Are you sure about that?

      “Aides confer in the dark because they cannot figure out how to operate the light switches in the cabinet room,” the Times reported Sunday.

      • Shanzgood

        Hahaha! I was just thinking that!

  • Roger Wilco
  • fawkedifiknow

    Remember way back when so-called “General” so-called “National Security Advisor-in-waiting,” Mikail Flynnonamov, was bugged talking to his pals at the Rooski embassy out of school, and Spicer and Rancid Penus bitched about “private citizens having their phone conversations recorded by FBI wire taps”? Yeah, a whole 2 weeks ago. I’ll be damned if that wasn’t just so much posturing bullshit!!

  • Nena

    Because treating your staff like suspects goes such a long way in encouraging loyalty… And by kicking major media out of the newsroom, they’ve created a bigger market for leakers.

    As time goes on there are sure to be staffers fired or moved on. I wonder how many will sell their stories.

    • anwisok

      AOT,K. (obligatory)

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Republicans determined to get to the bottom of the real problems in America – who found out that Flynn was talking to the Russians, and why aren’t they being punished?

  • lucidamente

    Spicer to staff: “The beatings will continue until morale improves.”

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    “Spicer, who consulted with White House counsel Don McGahn before calling the meeting, was accompanied by White House lawyers in the room…”

    well at least THIS course of action was vetted wiht the lawyers…is our fascists learning?

    • BrianW

      I suspect it’s more “ass covering” than “learning,” per se.

  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    “Good morning, you scum bags of the Press. Today’s briefing starts with President Trump doing a brief round of golf, while meeting with his executive team to decide how to fund a Wall around the White House. To keep reporters out. Then it is off to Mar A Largo to check his bank account balances and drink some Trump whine. Ivanka will host a tea for Women Republicans for a sound Christian Policy for World domination. The Treasury Secretary is researching to see how Social Security can invest in Russian diamonds to shore up the fund. If all goes well, the President will be back a 5PM for some Taco Bowls and a twitter storm NOW GET OUT!”

    • chicken thief

      Needs moar Sekrit Service accompanying the Trump spawn on world wide bidness trips at taxpayer expense!1!!!

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Oh dear. Commander in Chief Bonespur who knows better than the Generals knows better than the soldiers now too.

    https://twitter.com/JamilSmith/status/836245377070288897

    • Crank Tango

      We don’t fight to win ???

      When did Nobama say that?

      • Nounverb911

        Never.

        • Crank Tango

          Well that’s odd.

          I guess we’ve never fought to win then, if our Dear Leader said it.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I would ask what he thinks we fight for, but I realize assuming he “thinks” is a bridge too far.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        the United Fruit Company? —Smedley Butler

        • Paul

          A true American hero and patriot

    • GoutMachine

      Well, yeah. I mean, if you win then you can’t have endless wars and endless defense contracts.

      • snark-lurker

        eggsackly

    • grindstone

      That’s it, Cheetolini, alienate the armed forces, too. Who’s next, farmers?

  • rick

    There seems to be a lot of pissing and moaning about leaking at the WH.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Pissing, Moaning, Leaking: the new Three Stooges of Trumpenfuhrerland.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    Trump at last nights “Governer’s Ball”:

    “So I can say that after four weeks — they were a lot of fun — but we’ve accomplished almost everything we’ve started out to accomplish.”

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      “And again, we’ve made a lot of promises over the last two years, and many of those promises already are kept.”

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        What he didn’t say, “See, we really didn’t expect to accomplish ANYTHING, so we’re ahead of the game.”

        • Dudleydidwrong

          By “ahead of the game” I assume they are dealing with negative numbers.

          • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

            …ahead of the (delete because I am an old and do not know how to format on Discuss) investigation…

            I apologize for not being clear.

    • GoutMachine

      Remember when we had a five-year-old handcuffed at the airport? That was so much fun!

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        and that disatrous raid in Yemen that killed an American SEAL and a bunch of women and kids! Wheeeee

        • Carpe Vagenda

          We’re fending off a call for a special counsel to investigate my administration for high treason…

          • kareemachan

            And let’s not forget arresting that woman in the hospital with brain cancer….

            Ah, good times.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            People around the country protested in the streets against everything I stand for and people are showing up at townhalls to rage about, pfft, dying if I can fulfill my promise to repeal and replace.

            BTW, later in that same transcript – he gives us this gem:

            “And as most of you know, the Obamacare has had tremendous problems. I won’t say in front of the Democrats, I’ll just say it to the Republicans — (laughter) — it doesn’t work. But we’re going to have it fixed, and we’re going to repeal and replace. And I think you’re going to see something very, very special.

          • Roadstergal

            So special. We’ll fuck over the poors bigly.

          • PsycWench

            Single payer

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            we can only hope and dream on that one.

    • Sandy Beaches

      So, he thinks he’s almost finished?

      • Shanzgood

        Yes, please.

        • GoutMachine

          So, you’re tired of all the winning, then?

          • Shanzgood

            It’s exhausting.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            People around the country protested in the streets against everything I stand for and people are showing up at townhalls to rage about, pfft, dying if I can fulfill my promise to repeal and replace.

            BTW, later in that same transcript – he gives us this gem:
            “And as most of you know, the Obamacare has had tremendous problems. I won’t say in front of the Democrats, I’ll just say it to the Republicans — (laughter) — it doesn’t work. But we’re going to have it fixed, and we’re going to repeal and replace. And I think you’re going to see something very, very special. “

          • Shanzgood

            You’re making me want to cry.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            sorry, I’ll stop.
            Chin up – the arc of history, etc etc.

          • Shanzgood

            It’s fine! Just…gah! He’s not even saying anything real even if he COULD string together a complete sentence.

      • Historicat

        Sure sounds like he’s going to declare victory and leave.

    • chicken thief

      And the GOP governors believed him.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        and so did that McAuliffe guy who toasted him, yeah he’s president of NGA, and yeah he wasn’t quite sniveling, but still…

    • Crank Tango

      Job done!

      Now go back to Wasilla Trump Tower.

    • ViveLaPersistence

      Someone needs to put together a video montage of everything he said he would do, and hasn’t: good jobs, infrastructure, fabulous and inexpensive healthcare…things the 80% of Americans who didn’t vote for him actually care about.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        defeating ISIS in the first thirty days. Remember how he said he had a plan during the campaign, and then that morphed into ordering the Pentagon to give him a plan. I saw a headline saying they’ve finished it, but I can’t imagine it’ll be too different than what we were doing. Air strikes, drones, backing the rebels, etc etc.

        When he was inaugrated i was wanting to compare all the things he said he’d do on the first day and then didn’t do, but needless to say it’s a long list.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          To be fair, Day One was a Friday, which makes Days Two and Three Saturday and Sunday, and our labor unions risked everything, including their lives, to get us that precious weekend.

  • Proud Liberal

    Whoever is leaking, Thank You. Sincerely, the American people.

  • ariel_gee_398

    Given what we’ve seen of this administration’s hiring practices, there may not be any leakers. They may just have accidentally hired some Post and Times reporters to work on Spicer’s staff.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      There may actually be very few people even remotely qualified for their jobs who would be willing to work for a loser. This could be a huge story.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        That already is the story – have you seen his cabinet?

  • Bill D. Burger

    Poor lil’ whining, red-eyed Spicey!

    https://i.makeagif.com/media/1-26-2017/2mO8Sn.gif

    • Roadstergal

      Except his air freshener smells like vomit.

      • Pilotshark

        he needs a large can of BS repellent.

  • GoutMachine
  • george gonzalez

    What’s this about a new Deep Throat? Except he says “Follow the pee?

    • chicken thief

      It’s not a drip, it’s a steady stream!

    • GoutMachine

      Oh, so THAT’s why the garage smells like urine.

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    Devin Nunes wants to be Donnie’s man-bitch SO BAD….

  • Nounverb911

    New ‘Shadow Cabinet’ being organized by Laurence Tribe and company….
    https://twitter.com/tribelaw/status/836250246724390912

    • LesBontemps

      I was just thinking this morning: What if Hillary Clinton set up a shadow government, and then after a few months of Trump fucking up declared herself President?

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    I did a brief tour in DC in ’98, before cell phones were common. Even then, if some GS-7 at Interior had a particularly good sandwich, they were on the phone with a reporter. So I got sucked in by the rueful reports of Obama aggressively clamping down on leaks — ’cause, with all the platforms available why weren’t there more leaks, dammit?

    I guess “the President was unusually competent and thoughtful this morning” doesn’t make for good headlines.

    • Roadstergal

      “Obama had the usual number of shots in his latte, arrived at his meeting well-prepared with thoughtful questions, and arrived at an action plan with the input of those experienced in the area.” Boring leaks.

      Also. Happy subordinates don’t undermine. Yelling and swearing at your underlings should be M-W’s next Word Of The Day, counterproductive.

    • Hairstrike Alpha

      Well Obama being the smoothie smooth that he is didn’t openly antagonize and threaten the people who work in the intelligence community and the federal government as a whole. Call me crazy but I don’t think Donnie understands how to run an organization…

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Which is ironic.* Remember when Obama was unqualified because he’d never been in an executive position and had never managed a large organization?

        ETA: * — Ironic if you believe Trump actually ever “ran” a business.

        • Roadstergal

          And the right looked down their noses at this ‘community organizer.’ Turns out, organizing a community effectively is a damn useful skill.

          • Truthiness2U

            Being a community organizer you have to work with a lot of people, lots of time for little or no money, sometimes trying to get some hard/to impossible crap done.

            Being able to listen, use people to their best abilities, gain/give respect, inspire people to having a sense of community/shared goals, execute to your goals, is hard! Obama being good at it was one of the reasons I was for him as a Pres. candidate.

        • LesBontemps

          Oh he ran some businesses — right into the ground.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      We’re at the point where “the President was competent and thoughtful this morning” would in fact be headline news.

  • chicken thief

    If only they would say the words “radical GOP WH leakers”….

    • Bureaucrap

      “Radical, Mostly Christian GOP WH leakers” .

      FIFY.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Msgr_MΩment

    Give 45 credit. The waiting music for the Comment Line is nice. I guess they haven’t gotten around to deconstructing it in a childish rage and replacing it with strip club music yet.

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Or the Russian Red Army Chorus.

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    Funny how all this fake news coming from leaks has Trump all paranoid about leakers….unless he’s in Moscow that is.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Why is this group of incompetents and evil fuckers even still here? Where’s the impeachment process, Dems? How much of this country do they have to wantonly destroy before you say, “Enough.”?

    • snark-lurker

      I wonder how many (D) congresscritters truly care

    • Hairstrike Alpha

      Uhm you can’t successfully impeach a president as a minority party.

      • snark-lurker

        yeah but they could sure rake the bars with their tin cups more & loudlyer

        • Shanzgood

          Indeed. At least until 2018 elections.

          • snark-lurker

            I can’t see that far ahead.

          • Shanzgood

            malarkey

        • ltmcdies

          and outside of great 140 character tweets what does that do. Frankly the noise generated by marches and town halls has more effect on GOP congresscritters (or they wouldn’t be running away) than anything the Dems do in Congress right now…there isn’t enough them.

          And to get enough of them…well that’s work, organization and the mid terms.

          • Truthiness2U

            And let’s not forget special elections in 2017!

      • Msgr_MΩment

        I think John “Get of my Lawn” McCain and “Pearl-clutching” Lindsey might be seduced to the dark side.

        • theblackdog

          Lindsey maybe, but McCain still loves to talk a big talk but will never actually go against the GOP on big issues anymore.

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            Depends entirely on which way the winds are blowing in his state. He’ll take a principled, moral stand as soon as the polls tell him what it is.

          • mailman27

            To be fair, McCain was more of a “crasher” pilot than a “fighter” pilot.

        • chicken thief

          For all their verbal dissent, how did they vote on the appointees so far?

    • Truthiness2U

      Dems can’t do jackshit, because they aren’t in charge of the committees that would start this happening because they’re a minority party.

      A Dem Congresscritter who wanted to bring it up, had to find a Repub sponsor. That’s how fucked up this is for us.

      Meh. Elections have consequences, and purity pouters sitting on their asses in 2010 are still screwing us over today.

      • Moebym the Persistent Returner

        And damn proud of themselves.

        • Truthiness2U

          Well they certainly aren’t learning from it.

      • ltmcdies

        thank you…

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    Yes wingnuts, OWN the impending dissolution of Obamacare. The SS GOP is heading for that iceberg…

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      I’m more concerned about where the GOP SS is headed.

  • Fartknocker

    So Sean, ever heard of the word Introspective because in my world, guys like you aren’t allowed to assume a leadership role. Your too dangerous, you’re too beholden to your leader, and you’re so focused on protecting your own ass that you cause others to take greater risks. In other words, your a little bitch to Donald.

    • Crank Tango

      Fuhrerprinzip libel!

      • Erala Contratista

        Bitch libelz too, also

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    Funny how we can never spend too much on defense but we can never afford to spend on the health and education of Americans.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      And infrastructure also too.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Takes an awful lot of butter to make them bullets palatable.

      • Oblios_Cap

        It’s like putting chocolate on cotton…

        • Msgr_MΩment

          I like mine floating in gin.

          • Erala Contratista

            Butter?

        • eggsacklywright

          Milo Minderbinder beat you to it.

    • chicken thief

      Works the same for incarceration also too. Plenty of money to lock up them up, but rehabilitation? Fuck that noise! Billionaires will never get to trillionaire status if they gotta pay taxes.

    • TJ Barke

      Well how does health and education prop up the military industrial complex?

      • Hairstrike Alpha

        By supplying them with a healthy, educated pool to hire from?

        • TJ Barke

          HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            Less than half of current H.S. graduates are fit to serve. The majority are too flabby and/or dim.

          • Kakkeltje

            Well, the really dim ones can always try to become president.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        By training engineers who can design the next generation of weapons.
        Shhhhh. Don’t tell them.

        • TJ Barke

          As if long term thinking is one of their strengths…

        • Historicat

          Look, my bonus is for performance this quarter, not the next decade. That’s someone else’s problem.

      • Paul

        Military industrial MEDIA complex.

        FIFY

    • Jonny On Maui

      Back in the salt mines I put this to an anti ACA drone. It’s a matter of national security. Every first world power has health care for their citizens except us. How can we compete if our citizens are not taken care of?

      No answer. As Jen would say, *crickets*

    • Meccalopolis

      The air force could hold a bake sale

  • chicken thief

    Swearing tirades and impromptu searches of phones pretty much guarantees that there will be vid footage of the next “emergency meeting”.

    • Crank Tango

      World Star!!!!

    • Roadstergal

      Please, Santa!

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      I expect a live feed from the next one.

  • guppy06

    During meetings, the press secretary has repeatedly berated his aides, launching expletive-filled tirades

    Has he considered swallowing ginseng gum?

    • mackafritz

      That will really inspire loyalty.

    • Erala Contratista

      I always want to fall on my sword for expletive filled abuse disher-outers. Because I know they would do the same for me :-)

      • guppy06

        Yes, when push comes to shove, they’d push and shove you onto your own sword.

  • Chadwells

    OT: Only everybody, you monumental moron.

    “Trump: Nobody Knew Health Care Could Be So Complicated”

    https://www.bloomberg.com/politics/videos/2017-02-27/trump-nobody-knew-health-care-could-be-so-complicated

    • mackafritz

      I thought he knew more about anything than everybody.

    • ManchuCandidate

      Well to be fair, his voters sure as hell didn’t. Finding out that ACA = Obamacare aka “Uppity Black Chicago Gangbanger Giving non whites free healthcare at the cost of my non-existent death taxes” was hard/traumatic enough.

    • snark-lurker

      !tHE fUCK

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Maybe he should have asked, oh, I don’t know, maybe HILLARY.
      Hillary could have fucking told him.

  • Unnamed_and_MaybeFake

    How long before we hear Bamz personally bugged the West Wing before he left.

    • theblackdog

      Bamz? My money would be on Biden.

      • Shanzgood

        Heh!

      • LesBontemps

        And another Biden-Obama meme is born.

      • Phoenixdoglover

        I would also credit him with getting the light switches rewired.

      • Unnamed_and_MaybeFake

        Bamz is taller for those hard to reach places, while Joe held the ladder as steady as he could while laughing between ‘this is gonna be a BFD’

    • snark-lurker

      now we know how we know what know, mebbee, i guess

    • Crank Tango

      Well, if they find the bugs, just give Chump a nanny cam teddy bear in an SS outfit and you’re back in business in no time.

  • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie
    • Msgr_MΩment

      Forget it, Jake. It’s La La Land.

    • ManchuCandidate

      “NO LA LA LAND Winners. EVER!”

  • Oblios_Cap

    literally nobody in America besides Trump’s close cronies in his regime believes in him

    I’m not so sure that they do, either.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      In a parliamentary system, the PM would call for a vote of confidence and move on. In our system, we are forced to either endure or go through a protracted series of Congressional moves and/or public humiliation.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        The public humiliation is already a done deal, so no longer an issue.

        • LesBontemps

          Still, four years of public humiliation is the least we can do for our “president.”

        • Jonny On Maui

          I don’t think there can be enough public humiliation for this administration. And I hope it continues until the end of time.

  • MeerkatsRMammals

    This is really getting ridiculous… The leaks aren’t the problem here guys. Neither is the media. The problem is the Russia thing. Maybe if y’all could get on with the investigation that over half the population wants, the leaks might stop. Or not, because this administration doesn’t know how to govern or act like grown ups.

    • Proud Liberal

      if Trump & Co. are innocent, they would be begging for an investigation. There is a reason why they don’t want one.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        They certainly have mastered the art of looking guilty.

        • Proud Liberal

          Probably because they are.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Yup. Every time I hear them, I remember telling a guy, “Even if you’re right, and the car he was driving was burgundy and not red, it doesn’t change the fact that the video shows you selling meth to an undercover cop.”

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        i’ve always wondered how the pd’s break it to a def. that he really shouldn’t go to trial.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Third-time offenders with nothing to lose.
          I sat on a jury where they had exactly that selling-smack-to-a-cop situation. Four cops, including the faux dealer, testified as to what went down; then the public “defender” had them repeat it so we didn’t miss any details.

      • BrianW

        My favorite (I was on the jail side of things) went this way:
        “I don’t know why I was arrested.”
        “You were arrested for shoplifting.”
        “I didn’t steal anything.”
        “Store security found half a dozen CDs stuffed in your pants.”
        “Those weren’t my pants.”
        “OK, but you were WEARING them at the time.”

        And yes, I had this conversation more than once. After a few times, you just wrap it up with “Oh, OK. I would stick with that defense if I were you.”

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          “Those aren’t my pants,” is the default non-denial denial among prosecutors and PDs I know, to wit:

          “Did you drink the last of the coffee?”
          “Those aren’t my pants, man.”

          • BrianW

            The first couple of times, I thought it was hilarious, and didn’t understand why my co-workers were like, “meh.” After a half dozen or so, I realized exactly why they weren’t laughing.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Il Douche is just not accustomed to working outside of his usual M.O.

    Priebus: “We could just do things legally, and be honest about them.”
    Trump: “Wait – we can DO that?”

    • snark-lurker

      to late

    • Erala Contratista

      Whyyyyyy?

  • Mavenmaven

    Haha, remember when America was founded on representative democracy, no taxation without representation, Benjamin Franklin and a free press? Good times, it is all Julius Evola now!

  • Shanzgood

    OT for anyone who likes Steven Universe. I’ve been binge watching it with my 15yo daughter for a few weeks now and loving the hell out of it. She just sent me this.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/efacbf22b56514fb7f77a795cf8ed26d22494d6f20d322d0341edd3a00465fee.jpg

    • The Flaming Carrot

      Lil’ Carrot has gone to a couple of cons dressed as Steven Universe characters. She has gotten into Homestuck more recently.

      The kids at the cons are by no means perfect, but they are paragons of cooperation and tolerance compared to the so-called adults in the Shite House.

      • Shanzgood

        Also this show makes me screech with delight sometimes with how incredibly GAY it is. Seriously, I love it SO MUCH.

        • The Flaming Carrot

          I like to watch, Eve.

          • Shanzgood

            I don’t know that one.

          • Biel_ze_Bubba
          • Shanzgood

            …oh

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            It’s a far-fetched story about a guy who doesn’t know anything about anything, yet somehow rises to a position of great influence and power. Ridiculous premise, really.

          • Shanzgood

            I’ve seen it!

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            We’ve lived it.

          • Shanzgood

            Because all he did was watch TV, as I recall.

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            That’s where he got all his information.

            I guess it breaks down at the walking on water, which Trump only thinks he can do.

  • Red Bird Ω

    If the choice it really between resignation and impeachment, I vote for impeachment because I believe it can be linked to a possible charge of treason. And if Donnie is guilty of treason then Ms. Mercer, Flynn, Steve-o, Jared and Ivanka are probably also guilty.

    • snark-lurker

      that’s a pipe dream. the bush admin etc etc

    • An Outhouse for the Resistance

      Also Ryan, Pense and McConnell.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    The thing that really makes me laugh the hardest at the angst-y drama over leakers is that all their off-the-hook frenetic activity to find the culpable parties merely confirms the veracity of the leaks. Good job, morons!

    • ViveLaPersistence

      ^^^THIS^^^ They really are profoundly stupid.

    • Stulexington

      Ah, the Streisand effect in action.

  • boyblue122

    How many loyalists does Drumpf expect to find in DC really…a half dozen maybe.

    Anyone on his staff he fires will be replaced with people that hate him just as much most likely

  • Bill D. Burger

    Ot…but WooWee! Fun budgetary times! Turnip wants…wait for it…a 10% increase in military spending in the new budget. That translates to approximately a $55,000,000,000 (zeros make it more impressive,huh? ) INCREASE. Budgeteers’ across the nation say if that comes to fruition (not to mention that other fav, The Wall, and another initial $21.6 billion) we’re talking real money and would result in huge slashing of funds to almost every other government department and program if it’s passed as Trump wants.
    I know it’s a long way to the end of the budgetary process, but will GOPers stand up to Cheetolini? Hmmmm…..we’d have to see a lot of growth in spines. Stay tuned.

    • Anna Rompage

      We need more military spending like we need another hole in our heads…

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6f156a1e67861e485a7ffffb6883315e9c36353342c24b1edc394afd0df79c54.gif

      • ManchuCandidate

        To be fair 3/4 of the money is for the Cluster Fuck-35 Lightning II Stealth Fighter.

        • Anna Rompage

          Actually that program is only about $200/billion spread over many years, where as we spend $596/billion annually…

      • Bill D. Burger

        In Turnip’s case, it a ‘compensation’ thingy, obviously.

        http://www.bilgebucket.com/wp-content/uploads/eisenhowertrumpsmallpenis.jpg

      • Liberal Fascist Ron

        Only seven? Clearly they want an increase so they can spend more than the next TWENTY countries combined.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Yeah but the other programs are for poor people, children, and other things that don’t matter.

      • magyar of infinite power

        He can’t slash that kind of spending without ratfucking seniors. Who vote in mid-terms.

  • Rick Hill

    Religious freedumb, coming soon:
    “The four-page draft order, a copy of which is currently circulating among federal staff and advocacy organizations, construes religious organizations so broadly that it covers “any organization, including closely held for-profit corporations,” and protects “religious freedom” in every walk of life: “when providing social services, education, or healthcare; earning a living, seeking a job, or employing others; receiving government grants or contracts; or otherwise participating in the marketplace, the public square, or interfacing with Federal, State or local governments. “

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      oh fucking joy. does this mean they’re building pyres already for the muslims and us atheists.

      • Jeffocaster in the desert

        I swear to God, as an atheist I want as much religious freedom as possible. Jesus, Mary, Joseph….deliver me from this.

        • Oblios_Cap

          Thoughts and prayer to you, buddy.

      • Shanzgood

        This so they can come after the queers and sluts.

        • Sister the Resister

          But then can’t we counter by having a Queer and Sluts Mega-Church? Think of it! The music and costuming alone would ensure a healthy congregation, and hey, if a bit of (consensual!) naughty time happens behind the church, who cares?

    • snark-lurker

      i have no idea wut that means but then i iz a idiot

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Oh, great. So in my line of work if a teacher refuses to teach a LGBTQ teen or refuses to work with colleagues because of their sexual orientation or gender identity, they can claim “religious freedom” and be absolutely protected from consequences…

      • Shanzgood

        Yup. They don’t care what religion we are or aren’t (except muslin) they just want the right to mess us up if they don’t like what we’re doing with our no-no parts.

        • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

          Yup, or be allowed to tell people they’re wicked and sinful and that they’re going to Hell…

        • Red Bird Ω

          I’m trying to figure out how they will react if companies started firing men for cheating on their wives, paying for hookers/strippers, using condoms, and using IVF to have a child. According to the Catholic Church you shouldn’t be doing any of those things either.

      • mailman27

        And if you can’t sell a pair of pants to a gay guy because of your Christian “faith”, show your work in the form of the relevant text in your holy book. Can’t just make rules up.

        • BearDeLaOursistance

          Actually, the fundies think we all wear skirts… so maybe this is a problem that prevents itself!

    • Bill D. Burger

      The theocratic impulse is strong because they want to pay the Fundies back for their support. You know Trump doesn’t give a shit about any religious issue or religion other than the fact he got the TEAlibangelical vote.
      There are so many obvious unconstitutional dog whistles being blown there and by the Bannon Christofascists, the lawsuits will come fast and furious.

      http://problamb.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/pope-trump.jpg

    • It is the last bit they are most keen on- getting to suck off the teat of big government AND discriminate at the same time

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      Time to gear up for the fight. Don’t wait till the last minute to purchase your rainbow accessories.

      • LesBontemps

        Your ACLU membership also too.

        • Up In Smoke O’hontas

          And donate to FFRF, too also. They’ll be on the front lines.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Oh, that reminds me that I need to re-up my Church of Satan membership.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Time to join the Church of Satan.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      ““History … is a nightmare from which I am trying to awake.”
      ― James Joyce, Ulysses

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Nounverb911
    • ManchuCandidate
      • They’re all within a couple of blocks of each other

      • Jamoche

        They’ve taken a few baby steps, we should encourage them. Especially since nothing would annoy Donnie more than having his favorite channel turn against him.

    • Opiwan

      If fake news is presented by Faux News, does it cancel out like a double-negative or explode like matter/anti-matter?

  • WotsAllThisThen

    “Take out our phones? Why, does Trump need to look at classified documents again?”

  • Nounverb911

    Sean can’t stop the food critics either.

    https://twitter.com/NYMag/status/836259619508994049

    • Edith Prickly

      GROSSSSSSSS

    • beingreleased

      Yes, it was outrageously expensive, but do you think he paid for it?

      • Jonny On Maui

        His taste buds did.

        What am I saying. He has no sense of taste.

        • You know better!

        • Thaumaturgist

          Jonny, you’re letting your politics get the better of you. Trump has excellent taste. And fashion sense. And beauty. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1aaf81f850fcefea050cb2d09eda5af95968471bb7102683d9a4fdc817b0e5e4.jpg

          • WotsAllThisThen

            Don’t worry, the cleaning people will pick up all the broken glass and vases after he gets bored with this game. And we can buy more TVs.

          • starfanglednut

            Christ, that poor kid.

          • ahughes798

            Golf is for olds. It’s nature’s way of telling you, gently, that your best days are behind you. Why is a ten year old kid playing golf? Shouldn’t he be doing the cybers?

    • boyblue122

      Might as well just eat flavored beef jerky

      • An Outhouse for the Resistance

        slim jims.

    • SmokinGood

      I can’t even begin to comprehend the level of incuriosity that results in a 70-year old lifelong billionaire’s food of choice being ketchup-slathered well-done steak.

      • ltmcdies

        I tell yah… being rich has been utterly wasted on this guy
        He might as we been a used car salesman

      • mancityRed6

        There was a comment string about this on another site. Half the comments were all “who cares! fake news!”, but one actually put out a good theory about it.
        He eats the steaks because he thinks that’s what rich people do. He doesn’t have any class, but he thinks rich people eat fancy steaks.
        He’s the walking caricature of what a cartoon hobo dreams about. “House made of gold and well done steaks three meals a day.”

      • SayItWithOtters

        His palate hasn’t matured since he was 10.

    • MynameisBlarney

      The fuck?
      Well, I guess that answers the age-old question of “What kind of fuckin moran puts ketchup on a fucking $54.00 steak?”

      • magyar of infinite power

        What kind of moron pays $54.00 for a fucking NY?

        • MynameisBlarney

          What kinda moran orders a $54.00 NY WELL DONE?!?!

          That ALONE should be an inpeechable offense!

          • magyar of infinite power

            A 5.00 burger cooked well is an affront before the Lord.

      • ahughes798

        You don’t put anything on a good steak. On an average steak, it’s A-1 or GTFO.

  • boyblue122

    OT – Will the White House spend half as much time denouncing these bomb threats as they dedicated to fake massacres

    https://twitter.com/BraddJaffy/status/836259262791839744

    • Oblios_Cap

      Bannon has been awfully busy today, eh?

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Christ, one of my resistance groups meets in a local JCC. Are we going to need to get a bomb sniffing dog now?

      • SayItWithOtters

        Don’t tempt them with the triple word score.

    • Nounverb911
      • NastyBossetti

        Oh shit Wynnewood JCC is very very close to me. So they knock over gravestones in the dead of night, then they call in bomb threats to hassle children in preschool and retired people trying to go for a swim? What extraordinarily brave heroes!

        • Sister the Resister

          This is the definition of terrorism: acts to induce terror, whether actual harm is done or not.

          • NastyBossetti

            I get that, but I don’t truly get it.

    • Fucking cowards :k

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Forgive my ignorance about how anti-Semitism* works, but why would anti-Jewish bigots be riled up about Jews now? Don’t they have a government forming that they would perceive as being less controlled by/beholden to Jews in general?

      * I have registered my dissatisfaction with this term in a previous post.

      • boyblue122

        They are fueled by hate and that hate has now been justified by Drumpf. Also, Drumpf doesnt denounce their behavior so why stop

      • Jamoche

        Getting them out of the government is just the first step. They’d love to go full Nazi.

    • An Outhouse for the Resistance

      They know that they’re not being tracked any more.

      • Sister the Resister

        Just was I was thinking, sadly

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Trump is known to watch Spicer’s daily press briefings while eating lunch in the White House dining room. While the president was critical of his press secretary in the administration’s first month — especially after he was parodied on “Saturday Night Live” — he more recently has offered the press secretary his private assurances that his job is safe.

    So we’ll get to see more of Melissa McCarthy? Good!

    • His job is safe because no one else fucking wants it

    • Unnamed_and_MaybeFake

      And Brooks Bros is happy to keep a steady client interested in dark suits.

    • Stulexington

      So he’s about to get shit canned. This fits with every part of Trump, petty, narcissist, and psycho.

      • tinker12

        And, the most important thing is that every fking thing Twitler says is a lie, so presume the opposite to be the truth.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      But did he express his full confidence in Spicer?

  • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend
    • Shanzgood

      Ok kind of triggery there

      • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend

        She has his head in the following float.

        • Shanzgood

          Still. I just put the warning out there for anyone else like me who has media hidden and might not want to click on it.

    • ManchuCandidate

      Freedom Anal?

      • MynameisBlarney

        Anal Justice!

        • Was that the sequel to Anal Verdict, or the prequel?

          • MynameisBlarney

            The sequel…I think.

            The books were better, also, too.

          • Raan

            The prequel was Diagnosis: Fractured Ass.

            Eszterhas.

        • JohnBull

          Analrapist?

      • Shibusa

        Anal-yze This.

    • Anna Rompage

      The only thing missing is Putin giving it to trump from behind…

      • Wild Cat

        He can’t fit his in. Kapo Kushner’s wedged up there.

    • magyar of infinite power

      You have to hand it to good, old fashioned, German engineering

  • Jeffocaster in the desert

    And to finish………..

    And the three men I admire the most,
    Obama, Biden and the late night host
    were all quoted in the Washington Post
    The Day Democracy died…….

    singing

    Bye, bye Miss American Rights
    Drove me crazy then so hazy sweating bullets at night
    And them good ole boys were wearing hoods startin’ fights
    Singin’ this’ll be the day that I die
    This’ll be the day that I die

    • mailman27

      Did you write the Book of Lies
      And do you wear ten foot long red ties
      Everybody tells me so

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        And do you believe in voter fraud
        Millions of illegals, swear to God
        And are your hands too small for your arms and bod

  • DainBramage

    Maybe Sookie Spice should look into the steady stream of ravens flying out a nearby window.

    • Oblios_Cap

      The carrier pigeons are back!

    • Sister the Resister

      Sookie Libulz!

  • chicken thief

    Why won’t Sphincter tell us where he was borneded?! He’s a Knotzee Atheist!1!!!!

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Sean, you’re doing it wrong. You should reason with them. Tell them: why would you want to leak what I’m saying when it’s 110% lies?

  • MynameisBlarney
    • uhm. Erm. He literally JUST called the dude like a month ago, no?

      • Liberal Fascist Ron

        And that’s just one we know about.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        What are you talking about? The gaslights were always the same brightness.

      • thewalkindude

        The White House is probing ongoing leaks of President Trump’s private conversations with foreign leaders, including a report Thursday that he criticized a 2011 U.S.-Russia nuclear arms treaty during last month’s call with Russian President Vladi­mir Putin.

        “We’re looking into the situation, and it’s very concerning,” White House press secretary Sean Spicer said, deploring “the idea that you can’t have a conversation without that information getting out. . . . We’re trying to conduct serious business on behalf of the country.”

        On the same day as the Putin call, Jan. 28, The Washington Post reported that Trump told Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull that their conversation was “the worst call by far”…

    • Pinkham’s Law

      So, we should assume daily contact?

      • Crank Tango

        They call him.

      • MynameisBlarney

        At least.
        I bet turmp annoys the fuck outta ol’ pooty-poot.

        • tinker12

          Like the most-awesome Charlie Pierce said in a column last week: Eventually, even Putin is going to say “What the Hell have I gotten myself into?”

    • Jamoche

      The direct line has been open that long?

      • He just sits by the phone waiting for them to call him. Which they do, with his new orders.

        • Jamoche

          While scribbling “Donnie J Putin 4ever” in the margins of his notebook?

    • Phoenixdoglover

      Trump was at the Miss Universe pageant in Moscow in 2013. No phone calls before, during or after?

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      That is a serious alternative fact situation. Where’s Kellyanne Cryptface when you need her?

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        There’s only one other guy who could jump so easily between alternative universes . . . and he had a Tardis.

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      “I haven’t called Russia in 10 years! See, my hairanimal is so tremendously trained, it dials for me!”

    • timpundit

      That will be highlighted at the impeachment hearings I have a feeling.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    WH apparently planted a fake story in a friendly paper to strike back at a reporter whose work they didn’t like. Fake news-ception!

    http://www.politico.com/story/2017/02/sean-spicer-targets-own-staff-in-leak-crackdown-235413

    • They really would be terrifying if they were any good at this

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        That’s why Pence scares the crap out of me. He gaslighted an entire state without breaking a sweat.

        • Rick Hill

          “Well, gosh, and shucks. That’s just the way it works. It may seem like we are locking up whoever disagrees with us but, darn it, that’s just not what’s happening…”

  • Jamoche

    https://www.shesrunningpod.com is a podcast interviewing women running for office.

  • Nounverb911
  • AnnieGetYerFun

    It would be amazing if Spicer was the source of the leaks and was some sort of liberal plant, designed to take the administration down faster.

    Hey, I can dream.

    • JustDon’tSayDieInJail

      Maybe, but based on what I’m seeing, I don’t think we want that idiot on our side.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Well, he did get his start stanning for regional free trade agreements.

  • JustDon’tSayDieInJail
  • Swampay

    Funny, it sounded different when they were shouting at Obama (bbhn*) about lack of transparency. It seems they want all their lying lies to be secret now.

    (that’s “blessed be his name”, of course)

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    A motivated ratfucker extraordinaire who perhaps wants the job of his boss just needs to plant an incriminating burner cellphone in bossy’s jacket pocket, then tip off Spicer.

    *Problem Solvers!*

  • mardam422

    “…and saying that they’ve disappointed him.”
    That’s what my Dad used to say when I would miss a layup, or forget to take out the garbage.

    • HazooToo

      But I am guessing you actually cared about your Dad and whether he was proud of you? Spicer’s minions apparently just want to make him as miserable as possible and still keep their jobs.

      • mardam422

        Well, at the time I was about 4’6″ tall and missed a lot of layups. AND, I’m an idiot so I forget a lot of…what was your question again?

        • HazooToo

          Spicer bad. Disappoint him good.

  • Panika MCD

    it would be nice if they’d learned that the Teddy R phrase is “speak softy and carry a big stick”, not “show your stick and yell about it”. it would have saved them a lot of embarrassments. I mean, once someone knows you don’t have much to speak of in the way of a stick, they’re not really going to listen to you. as it is, it seems the rest of the world is convinced that we’re being held hostage unlike during Shrub’s administration where they were all, “WTF is wrong with you?!”

    • HazooToo

      Thank God for that last bit. How disgusting would you feel if anyone thought you WANTED this?

      • Khavrinen

        “They were obviously asking for it; just look what they were wearing in the voting booths.”

    • TundraGrifter

      Who is going to believe President Tiny Hands has a big stick?

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        Melon! Well, at least makes someone believe it.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Sean. Get this straight. Most of the folks working in the White House don’t like your FauxTUS 45*, UberPrezident Bannon, or you for that matter. They are working there so they can have a gig when Pence takes over and there is an actual president in the oval office. And they are doing everything they can to speed up the process.

    • Paperless Tiger

      Maybe it was the only way since Pence could never get elected president on his own. He never had his own TV show, he never made a movie, and he’s short.

  • Foocatchoo

    The leakers are “John Miller” and “Carlos Danger”…

  • SadDemInTex

    I can’t wait to see Melissa McCarthy do Spicy at that meeting!

    • gratuitous

      “YOU THERE! YOU’RE TWEETING ABOUT THIS MEETING RIGHT NOW, AREN’T YOU? AREN’T YOU?!”

      “No Boss. I’m, uh, I’m just playing Doodle Jump.”

      “Oh yeah? What level you on? I’ve made it to Level 7 after just four years.”

  • Celtic_Gnome

    Sean Spicer is disappointed in his team. It isn’t possible to sink any lower than that.

  • Culture Club Warrior

    But her emails.

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