The longer I live the more I hate people in general. It's all one big fucking joke. The moment we are born we are told many lies. Basically everything you are told is the opposite of the truth and that is one big mindfuck. We are living in a dream that is actually a nightmare, it's hell on earth. Only death shall set us free from suffering. Whatever God put us here he does not care and he must be a fucking narcissistic masochist devil. Even the people following him are fucking retards. I have seen and experienced so much I don't want to deal with people and their bullshit any more. Let the whole world burn who cares, as long as I can fill my own selfish needs right.

There are some good people and they get fucked over and over again to the point they are turning evil too.. or they die early. In essence you can't trust anyone in this life, except yourself and even sometimes you can't trust yourself. Because why do you do what you do? What is the point, are we really in control of ourselves? Seriously I would love to experience the collapse of society as we know it. It will put a smile on my face to see everything around us being destroyed as if it never existed.

Sorry for the rant I am in general a positive minded person and smile a lot. Except there are many times the darker part of me is taking over which is in constant rage and sadness at the same time. It is very energy draining and I don't know how to deal with it. I keep on fighting upwards but every time I see a small light of brightness something happens again and I am back where I started. It's as if I take 100 steps forward and then go 110 backwards. I accept all responsibility and blame myself for this, but every time it is other people causing me to experience this despair and adversity. I want to go monk mode for a long time actually but I doubt if it will make any difference for how I feel about everything. I changed myself in many ways for the betterment, yet it makes me feel worthless.

Please try to enlighten me my brothers.