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Updates - 17 and pregnant (self.Catholicism)

Throwaway_17F_984375 が 投稿

I had to delete previous post due to accidentally posting personal info

I took a day off school and went to see my GP, as it was only 5 weeks I was prescribed Misoprostol for free (NHS is free). I know what I did was wrong, It was partially my fault this pregnancy (I was drinking) but I had good intentions. My parents do not know, my GP confirmed confidentiality.

• I would have given birth in October/September and I would have been moving out for university at this time. I would not have been able to start my education if I needed to stay in hospital

• I have exams in June so I may have been in pain or additional stress leading to lower results

• If I gave birth I can give my child up for adoption but I think the social worker has a final say in the religion of the parents (So I could ask for a catholic/protestant family but no guarantee).

• Guilt over not being able to be with my child if given for adoption.

Now all I can do is ask god for forgiveness, I am thinking about going to church to make a confession (never made one before) but am unsure about what advice I will be given or if my parents will be told.

Edit - typo

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[–]MedievalPenguin 18 ポイント19 ポイント  (19子コメント)

We Americans have a saying - The road to hell is paved with good intentions. "Good intentions" are no justification for your action and should not comfort you as they are lies. Comfort can only be found in Christ's forgiveness and over time.

I find what you did abhorrent, especially since I lost my son at 15 weeks and would kill to get him back. But I don't hate you. I still love you like a sister and that can't and won't change. You need to go to confession.

When you make a confession, the priest is bound by canon law to never reveal what you say. Priests have died to uphold this seal a person's confession. He will not contact your parents. It's important that you make your confession as soon as possible. Do not lose that momentum. You can even call your parish rectory to make an appointment if you don't want to visit the church on Saturday. Just go.

[–]Throwaway_17F_984375[S] 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (18子コメント)

I will go on saturday.

I am sorry for your loss and wish you the best in your next pregnancy. I just felt not ready to raise children, and I needed to get an education in order to find a husband and have children at the right time as well as support them financially.

[–]MedievalPenguin 9 ポイント10 ポイント  (17子コメント)

I know you're going to tell yourself those things to make you feel better. We all do it. But over time they'll wear thin and leave you with nothing.

Try learning more about your faith and connecting with that. Your relationship with God is what will sustain you in the long term.

[–]Throwaway_17F_984375[S] 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (16子コメント)

God will forgive me for this right? If I was an adult and married then it would be worse, but at this age and stage then it's not as bad right?

[–]TheMonarchGamer 8 ポイント9 ポイント  (3子コメント)

God will forgive you, but not because it's only a "lesser" sin.

You have committed one of the gravest of all sins, and as Catholics we believe that circumstances do not get rid of the responsibility for your sin. That is relativism. In fact, you have incurred an excommunication. The priest will be able to lift it when he absolves you.

God forgives us all even though we are wretched sinners. Sincere contrition and repentance is all he asks of us.

Understand that you have committed the worst of sins, and yet God still will forgive you. This is the strength of our faith.

I will keep you and your child in my prayers.

[–]Throwaway_17F_984375[S] 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (2子コメント)

God forgives us all even though we are wretched sinners. Sincere contrition and repentance is all he asks of us.

I am not sure if I feel contrition and repentance.

I did not even know the father, If I kept the child I may have done poorly in my exams and lost my UCAS places, and I cannot resit my exams (as this is the final year before a new curriculum). If I was married and did this against the fathers consent, It would be a horrible thing to do.

Understand that you have committed the worst of sins, and yet God still will forgive you. This is the strength of our faith. I will keep you and your child in my prayers.

Thank you

[–]Seosaidh 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

If I was married and did this against the fathers consent, It would be a horrible thing to do.

It is equally horrible in your circumstances. No matter the circumstances, murder is murder and you hired someone to kill your child. No circumstances can change or justify that fact.

Now, irregardless of that fact, if you are contrite (if you could do it over and would refuse the abortion), then you can be forgiven through the Sacrament of Reconciliation. No sin is too great to be forgiven. Even Hitler could have been forgiven. But you must have contrition (which doesn't necessarily require feeling sorry so much as being sorry).

[–]TheMonarchGamer 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I did not even know the father, If I kept the child I may have done poorly in my exams and lost my UCAS places, and I cannot resit my exams (as this is the final year before a new curriculum). If I was married and did this against the fathers consent, It would be a horrible thing to do.

To be perfectly clear:

The father has nothing to do with it. The sin is in taking a human life, and the life of someone who has never themselves sinned before, but may still be damned because of original sin. The life of a truly innocent child - more dependent on you than if he/she had been born and begged you for food. In essence, it's the same thing. Your child simply did not have the voice to beg yet. That is the horrible thing. Nothing can justify that decision. I'm sorry if that sounds callous, but it's the truth.

I am not sure if I feel contrition and repentance.

The beauty of the sacrament of confession is that we don't need perfect contrition. All we need is a desire to be forgiven. That's why the sacrament of confession is so much more powerful than anything else.

Edit: also, pray for the soul of your child. Both that they may forgive you and that they may be saved.

[–]Happy_Pizza_ 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (0子コメント)

God will forgive me for this right?

If you are sincerely sorry and ask for forgiveness, then yes, God will forgive all sins. Personally, I would advise receiving the sacrament of confession.

[–]MedievalPenguin 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yes. He will. Whenever we're sorry for what we've done, He's waiting to forgive us.

[–]EternalMasquerade 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

God will forgive you if you are truly repentant, which means hating what you've done and taking full responsibility for it.

It honestly sounds like you're still making excuses and think that it was somehow OK or understandable that you did this horrible thing.

[–]WhyCantIQuitReddit16 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Homicide is homicide. It doesn't get better or worse.

[–]QDefenestration 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (2子コメント)

Remember too that you need to be fully contrite to receive absolution. Rationalization like this kind of hinders that whole thing.

[–]MrCream 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (1子コメント)

No you don't need to be fully contrite to receive absolution.

~

Term

IMPERFECT CONTRITION

Definition

Sorrow for sin animated by a supernatural motive that is less than a perfect love of God. Some of the motives for imperfect contrition are the fear of the pains of hell, of losing heaven, of being punished by God in this life for one's sins, of being judged by God; the sense of disobedience to God or of ingratitude toward him; the realization of lost merit or of sanctifying grace. Also called attrition, imperfect contrition is sufficient for remission of sin in the sacrament of penance. It is also adequate for a valid and fruitful reception of baptism by one who has reached the age of reason. And if a person is unable to go to confession, imperfect contrition remits even grave sin through the sacrament of anointing of the sick.

[–]QDefenestration 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yikes, I screwed up.

For those who want to know about when perfect contrition is actually a thing you need: http://www.ewtn.com/v/experts/showmessage_print.asp?number=370862

[–]fussballfreund 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (2子コメント)

He will NOT forgive you if you sin while thinking "lol yeah God forgives everything so it's alright." This is presumption, it's a sign of actually not regretting anything (otherwise you would, RIGHT NOW, do anything to reverse your actions), and it will shine into eternity as your pathetic try to conceal the fact that you murdered a tiny baby for pure convenience.

[–]PolskaPrincess 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (1子コメント)

He'll still forgive you for both the sin and the presumption.

[–]blusbro -2 ポイント-1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

There's no levels of mortal sin, better or worse at any given time. God will forgive you. I'm certain that worse things have been forgiven in the history of the world. And you will be judged by no man or woman for this. It is not our place. But using abortion to control timeliness of bringing another of God's children into the world is... not so good. You have to live with it now. This child may not have been a part of YOUR plans, but every child is a part of God's plan.

But yeah, you will be forgiven, but you will never forget. Now go to God and get right and get some wisdom.

EDIT: As of right this moment, my post is the only comment that is in the negative column, downvote-wise. I'd love to know why. Did I say something wrong? If I did, I'd rather know about it so I don't feel the need to post anymore.

[–]emaline31 8 ポイント9 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Also something worth looking into is Project Rachel which is to assist with healing and forgiveness after abortion.

I know how scary it is to be pregnant- honestly when I was pregnant (under the right circumstances: married, education complete wanted the baby, etc) it was still terrifying sometimes. But my baby is the greatest joy of my life. You often can't see the eventual joy and beauty of something when there's a frightening path to get through first. Choosing life is always worth it; I'm sorry that you won't be able to experience the absolute delight of holding a sweet child.

I'm sorry that all of your fears pushed you into abortion, we need to do better to ensure education isn't impossible for single mothers and to remove the stigma that people put on them. Abortion is a very serious offense- it takes away someone's right to life and love.

Jesus forgives, but keep in mind too, your contrition must be sincere. Going into confession thinking you made the best decision and that you don't regret it will not be fruitful. Say a prayer for your unborn child.

Above all, please remember: You are loved. Everyone sins. Everyone makes bad decisions when they are afraid.

Seek forgiveness and healing in Jesus, and ask the Blessed Mother to receive your little one into her loving embrace.

[–]Throwaway_17F_984375[S] 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Above all, please remember: You are loved. Everyone sins. Everyone makes bad decisions when they are afraid.

Thank you.

[–]Karamazov_Ivan 8 ポイント9 ポイント  (0子コメント)

What you did was wrong. But God's mercy is unconditional.

[–]emaline31 7 ポイント8 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Also, worth mentioning: maybe take a break (read: stop altogether) from the party/casual sex scene. Maybe that was a one time thing; I don't know, I would hope. Part of the act of contrition is a promise to avoid committing the same sins in the future, and certainly,

Again, everyone sins, I'm not condemning or judging you. I've made horrible mistakes in my life too. But we have to strive to be better in the future.

[–]Throwaway_17F_984375[S] 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Also, worth mentioning: maybe take a break (read: stop altogether) from the party/casual sex scene.

I have learnt a very important lesson, and will avoid sex and drinking until married.

Again, everyone sins, I'm not condemning or judging you. I've made horrible mistakes in my life too. But we have to strive to be better in the future.

Thank you

[–]-abM-p0sTpWnEd 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (0子コメント)

None of your excuses mitigate the seriousness of the sin you've committed, and you'd be much better off dropping any "reasoning" behind what you've done. The sooner you see it for what it was - wrong, with no redeeming factors whatsoever, the sooner you can seek forgiveness (which will, of course, be granted as it always is when somebody comes in earnest back to Christ).

[–]Seosaidh 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I will pray for you and your baby.

Eternal rest grant unto him (or her) O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon him (or her). May his (or her) soul and all the souls of the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace.

[–]QDefenestration 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (1子コメント)

If you've never been to confession before, you're probably not a practicing member of the Catholic faith, right? If so, let the priest know that you're a lapsed Catholic and that this is your first confession, and further ask him, if you're really interested in Catholicism, how you would go about participating as a member of the Church. If you have been "practicing" and receiving communion, this is sacrilege, and you'll need to confess that too.

You should look up an examination of conscience online, and be prepared to make a general confession to a lifetime of sins. You don't go to confession to get forgiveness for one thing that bothers you; you go to have your sins forgiven, plural, full stop.

Also, you should understand the Catholic teaching on abortion. Catholicism considers the embryo to be a person at the moment of conception; because of this, you'll want to avoid the kind of rationalizing you're doing in this post when you speak of it in confession. It will sound to the priest like this: "I killed my unborn child because I was worried that it might stress me out during exams." And you don't need to explain. He's not there to judge. He's not there to excoriate you. He's there to listen and offer forgiveness (and penance).

[–]Throwaway_17F_984375[S] 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (0子コメント)

He's not there to judge. He's not there to excoriate you. He's there to listen and offer forgiveness (and penance).

I will go see him on saturday.

[–]MosesTosesRoses 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Jesus, Mary and Joseph, I love you very much. I beg you to spare the life of this little the unborn baby that I have spiritually adopted who is in danger of abortion.

God help humanity.

[–]outthedoorDinosaur 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (8子コメント)

It might not be too late, reversal is still possible! Stop taking the abortion medication and call this hotline (877) 558-0333. The on call nurse will ask you some basic questions to see if reversal is possible. The nurse will then connect you with a doctor or medical provider in your area to start treatment, if that is your choice.

If you know this is wrong it is imperative you do not do it! If you go through with it your actions cannot be undone.

We can discuss your other concerns regarding pregnancy and university after.

[–]Throwaway_17F_984375[S] 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (7子コメント)

(877) 558-0333

This is an american number right? Thats halfway across the world. I've allready taken the medication.

[–]outthedoorDinosaur 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (5子コメント)

It can still be reversed. If you can't call, email apreversal@gmail.com It can be reversed in over half of cases if within 24 hours. Reversal is possible up to 72 hours. I will look for a UK org for you. I am praying for you and your baby.

[–]Throwaway_17F_984375[S] 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (4子コメント)

I've taken 6 pills so far today (4 in the morning), (2 an hour ago). I'm having a small headache and a bit of dizziness. It's too late.

[–]outthedoorDinosaur 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (3子コメント)

I'm so sorry. Please do call the UK number I gave you. They can provide you with counselling and other support.

[–]Throwaway_17F_984375[S] -1 ポイント0 ポイント  (2子コメント)

They seem to be a pro life charity, I do not want to be shouted at right now.

[–]balrogath 14 ポイント15 ポイント  (0子コメント)

They're not going to shout. They're going to help you save your baby because they love both you and the baby.

[–]outthedoorDinosaur 9 ポイント10 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I promise they will not shout at you. They will provide free counselling, which mostly consists of them listening to you. Anything you say to them will be completely confidential. Same goes for anything you say to a priest about this. Priests are also free.

[–]outthedoorDinosaur 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (0子コメント)

0808 802 5433 is a UK organization. They will be able to help you out.

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