While we all celebrate that Donald so-called Trump will not, thank heavens, be attending the annual White House Correspondents' Dinner, we're still allowed to laugh at his team's reasons. It's because the press is MEAN to them! Nobody told Donald the press would be MEAN to him!

“You know, one of the things we say in the South [is] ‘If a Girl Scout egged your house, would you buy cookies from her?’ I think that this is a pretty similar scenario,” [spokeswoman Sarah Huckabee Sanders] added. “There’s no reason for him to go in and sit and pretend like this is going to be just another Saturday night.”

Donald Trump has been in office a month, and it's been clear since the first weekend that he's mentally not fit to do the job. His narcissistic obsession with battling those that would say even the slightest word against him consists the near-entirety of his day job, as he whines about leaks from his own administration, and the horror of reporters reporting on the leaks coming from his administration, and the double-horror of reporters reporting that despite what ol' snuffleface has been yelling there are indeed multiple investigations into the actions of Trump's campaign team vis-a-vis that whole Russia tampering with our elections business.

The man who launched his political career claiming that the then-current president was not even a real American has been completely crippled with rage that, after gaining the same office, people are saying nasty things about him. He was unprepared for Saturday Night Live to make fun of him. He was flummoxed by reporters wanting to ask him questions about things other than his own greatness. He was sent into spasms of tiny-fingered rage over someone, somewhere in Washington, not agreeing with his latest baffling pronouncements.

And now the whole of the White House appears to be engaged in one long round of babysitting the manchild through each one of his tantrums. If it means bashing the notion of a free press, they'll do it. If it means lying to the public about things that are trivially disproven fifteen minutes later, they'll do it. Don't ask the manchild's administration hard questions, American reporters, or by gum maybe we just won't have press briefings at all anymore, you meanies.

All in an effort to protect Donald Freaking Trump from having hurt fee-fees. Good God, what a pathetic little child. Scratch that—it's the whole White House. There's apparently not a single inch of backbone to be found in the manchild's entire team. Forget reporters, we need to send in a team of top scientists to study this new species of somewhat-sentient snowflakes!