hi there!

i have spent quite a bit of time browsing this subreddit to both horror and laughs and now i want some help from you lovely women and men with my friend.

i'm pretty sure her boyfriend of over two years is pulling some pathetic and despicable "PUA" "redpill" nonsense with her but because she's such a naive and caring person, she can't see thru the bullshit. a few examples.

1. about six months back he suddenly got into lifting a lot. he's a scrawny ass dude who i'm pretty sure couldn't bench 25 lb. plates. no, not a joke. my bf hungout with him a few times before and could only be so polite. but now, he's into whey, and weights, and tight shirts? and he keeps telling her how "gym time" is "me time" or "guy zone" or some bullshit like that. the funny thing is she's been gymming for far longer than him but he's turned down her offers to hang out together.

2. cold cut offs. he's started telling her he needs to work on himself now that he's 25 (sheesh, car driving insurance get to your head too much) and that requires time with himself when he chooses i believe. so random dropped friday evening plans and things like that. she's getting quite annoyed but is an incredibly patient person. i've warned her many times to confront him about this but because he doesn't do this often and sometimes "makes up for it" she doesn't want to have any conflict.

3. and this was the straw that made me post here. two incidents. one, he's been gawking poorly at other girls in bars and places and when she confronts him about it, he has some excuse about how she ought to be secure in his love and affection and not to "test him" and that at the end of the day, it's about her, he always comes back etc. etc. i think that's emotional manipulation and unilaterally dismissing her fears.

and two, apparently he's been getting a lot more aggressive and "spontaneous" about sex. she says she loves that he's more spontaneous but he's starting not to understand boundaries. case in point, she pulled her hamstring running a week or so back and wanted to take some rest for a week or two from intercourse -- it's just sensitive and bruised and she doesn't feel sexy or is scared to aggravate things in the heat of the moment. instead, he insisted she "take care of him" now and coerced or manipulated some oral or more .. (i didn't pry). it made her break down and feel miserable and used for the rest of the week.

what do i start doing to open up her eyes that these behavior changes are not for him to discover himself or be a better person or anything, but that he's becoming an entitled misogynistic asshole and that she must confront him about this ...

help?