I wouldn't have even been in the really negative, horrible, dark and miserable hell i was in if women treated me with a fraction of the respect, care or dignity I had shown them.

I was volunteering over the summer for two months and I was surrounded with exclusively women that despised me. The entire trip for them was one big virtue signalling exercise, as it was for the majority of women there (200+) , I have never seen as many virtue signalling soulless white women in my life.

What made the entire trip a living hell was they didn't do any work either, it was frustrating, so there I was in blistering sun working my ass off every single day, being nice, giving them respect, doing shit for them and there they were taking pictures and not doing much of anything.

I said, "You know what, fuck these sluts, I'm moving to another group" and I did. My new group I was working with agreed with me that they were being pretentious and self-centered. Later that night I didn't talk to them because I didn't want to be around people that weren't willing to work. The next morning they made vicious lies about me, manufactured to get me ejected from further volunteering.

I cried a whole fucking lot that night, how could these evil people lie about me, and not only lie, but lie as a group and show no emotion at all. It hurt, real bad.

There was no reason for any of that to have happened, for them to hate me, and for me to hate them -- none of it should've happened, the logic killed me, it still does, I was dead inside, and when I came back I was on antidepressants.

I came back to university because summer was over, and I was in a dorm with 4 girls and one guy, not my choice, these girls didn't hate me, they didn't know me, but they were painfully indifferent. At first it was great, fake great, we watched movies, went out together...had 'fun'...talked..I thought one girl in particular, Lorna was my friend. But then she showed her true colours eventually too.

Eventually what happened was I grew severely depressed thinking about this mess and the fact everyone fucking loathed me.. and Lorna, my roommate, who I was really fond of as a friend who was feeling shitty because she was a first year and didn't' know anyone constantly asked to talk and hang out with me..and I did, even though I felt way fucking shittier than she ever would, after I had helped her out god knows how many times she one day decides that when I want to talk to her, I'm not worth her time and she cuts it off, so now I feel 10 times shittier than I did.

I came off my anti-depressants because they blatantly weren't fucking working and made me feel like a zombie most of the time, I also had to drop out for a year because of the fact I couldn't fucking work on these pills, and one of my now ex-best friends daisy who I had also helped quite a lot helped me through it before one day deciding to abandon me too, and worse, said everything I had told her in confidence to all her friends. Betrayal and Abandonment...with no good reasons behind any of it.

constant agony and spite, and hate, and lies, it all hurt so much.

my condition grew worse, mental hospital, psychiatrists not listening, switched from new person to new person, new pills to stay sane, new stigma to deal with... thought I was going to flip, I thought so much about revenge, so much about really dark shit, I wanted to see these people suffer for the mental anguish they had inflicted on me, but thankfully...

I found MGTOW, and it's hard to explain, but things are better now I don't even give airtime to women, and barely even think about women. I feel freer, happier, and less stressed, more able to focus on things that are important, like university which I'll be returning to in September. I will never trust a woman, never help a woman and never 'love' a woman again, because they are all scum. I've had so many negative experiences, and all of them wouldn't even exist if it wasn't for women. I am a good person, I know I'm a good person, and trust me when I say I'd have devoted my life to making all of their lives better, but I won't do that if they see me as someone to be used and thrown away.