Yesterday I just had a revelation on how much privilege I have as a female.

I think it is wonderful that you appreciate how hard your boyfriend works, and that it is his goal to provide for you and your family. But, it was his decision to pursue a career in the unpredictable world of construction. And, it is also his decision to prohibit you from contributing financially to ease this burden. I believe that there is a vast difference from showing respect and appreciation and being an apologist.

In no way do I believe that being a conservative, RPW woman requires me to apologize for my upbringing and success. I worked hard in school and in my career, and I am currently enjoying the fruits of my labor. My husband did the exact same thing. I see no logic behind the assertion that his 60+ hour work weeks are somehow more important or more difficult due to his gender. We both experience stress, we both push ourselves, and we both make sacrifices. Our life is structured this way, because we decided it was the best for us. Just like your boyfriend decided to structure his life in such a way that once you are married there will only be one income.

[H]e knows if we get married he'll have to provide for me too, because he won't let me contribute financially. He wants to do it all himself. I sense he's a bit resentful of how good I have it as a female, but he'll never tell me this to my face. All I can do is try to respect what he's doing.

Again, this is his own personal decision. If he prohibits you from providing financially, then you have nothing to apologize for. Personally, my husband and I believe that more income diversification and financial security are better than less, so we both work. We don't both need to work, but we do. Hello retirement by age 50 (or earlier) for both of us! I personally would feel slighted if my husband prohibited me from working, and then resented me for not working. That seems a little illogical. Again, you can respect and appreciate all of your boyfriend's hard work without apologizing.

My post might lead people to believe that my husband's hard work goes unappreciated. If you told that to him, he would probably laugh at you. He is told morning, noon, and night how much I love, respect, and appreciate him and the way that he has decided to lead our family. I am in a position to truly sympathize with how stressful and difficult his life can be at times between work, helping manage our home, and keeping up with family and friends. That's why I show him respect by never complaining when it is clear that he is too tired to unload the dishwasher, or put away his laundry, or the lawn has to go one more day without being mowed. It is for the same exact reasons that he doesn't complain when he has to eat from the work cafeteria instead of a home packed lunch once and a while, or if the mail sits on the counter for a couple days, or too many pairs of my shoes start to pile up in the mudroom.