I think in the past a lot of suffering came from determining my self worth either for or by women.
I think this happens in two ways. 1. "Becoming what women want" and 2. Comparing yourself to men who "have what women want".
When I was younger I would focus a lot on becoming what women wanted. The typical approval seeking that we all become indoctrinated with since young boys. The idea of "HIT THE GYM BRO", but "don't do it for women", as the TRPrs like to say. 99% of time though it is for women when you really cut down to it. Same with many other things such as money and status or adopting traits to be "cool".
The second scenario is more nefarious, comparing ourselves to men that "have what women want". It's a form of jealousy based on a form of insecurity. It often rears its head after a breakup or a monkey branch from the woman. You start comparing yourself to the other guy, finding in ways he was "better than you", or really "More what women want". A guy having more of what women want does not make him better than you, that's a bad assumption to draw. It just means he's playing the game, or chose things that women like (whether for women or not).
The best way I found to move beyond that is to start measuring your worth on what you value not what women value. The best way to do that is to value what you have done with what you were born with, and in the way you wanted to. You gotta deal with the cards you have and not base your worth on what women want or if other guys have "more of what women want".
ここには何もないようです