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[FR] You better be following her cycle (self.marriedredpill)

HoveyC が 投稿

First post, felt I had something to contribute. 3 months unplugged. Going well, getting in shape, working on frame, etc. 42 y/o, 3 kids, 13+ yrs married.

Started following her cycle closely when I unplugged. It's only been 3 months, but I've seen some trends already.

Last month, had decent sex day 12. Figured we'd be OK for a while given our pathetic history of a few times a month. . Occasionally I need to get up for work earlier than usual and I'll sleep down in the guest bedroom those nights, and it happened that one of those nights was 2 days later (day 14) . Usually, when I leave around bedtime to go down and we have no snuggling in bed, lying together chatting, there is zero chance of anything sexual. As I grabbed pillows and toothbrush and leaned over for typical peck kiss, she grabs me for longer kiss, hugs a little tighter than usual, and asks if I want to stay for a while before going downstairs. Fun ensued. As mentioned above, this was quite unexpected, and I gave no signals of being particularly interested.

Next month: Sex day 10 and 11. (things are improving some in general after 3 months, but I'm not getting cocky). Then big fight day 13 after night out with some drinks with friends. I basically took out some gasoline and poured it on my frame, set it on fire, and decided to vomit blue pills all over the place with a drawn out emotional argument. Ended up sleeping downstairs due to mutual disgust with each other, something that hadn't happened since unplugging. (alcohol is constantly fucking up my frame, but that's for another post).

In the past, when we have a fight like that and I retreat to the basement, it takes a few days before we get back to normal interactions. Not this time, though. She was texting me from work, lamenting that we fought again, being generally contrite. Long story short, comes home, long hug, clearly interested in me, I respond in kind through evening, and really good sex that night. WTF. Oh yeah, it was day 14 again.

So I guess all my mental gymnastics for 13+ years trying to figure out why she responded a certain way to my game (pathetic bp game, but still) was pointless. makes me doubt my entire mental map of what she does or doesn't like. My understanding of what variables have been affecting her sexual response has been fundamentally incomplete.
Well, at least I'm learning.

Pissed off it took 40+ years to realize how important this is.

Lessons learned: 1. follow her cycle like a hawk. 2. pay close attention to how her behavior follows her cycle 3. realize your snowflake is only a woman. AWALT. Know your biology.

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[–]470_2_700_nm 13 ポイント14 ポイント  (19子コメント)

(alcohol is constantly fucking up my frame, but that's for another post).

Just stop it. I now only drink hard liquor because of carb intake, and I find I just don't drink that much anymore. Sure lots of MRP black belts are adept at drinking and running game, but if it ruins your frame just stop it.

Good on you to be keyed in on what's likely around the corner.

[–]TheFamilyAlphaPro-Masculine Evangelist 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (10子コメント)

OP, reread this comment 4-8x

Find your weaknesses & improve upon them.

Gentlemen don't get drunk, they have 1-3 & chill.

[–]HoveyC[S] 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (7子コメント)

Gentlemen don't get drunk, they have 1-3 & chill

agree.
Hard to break old habits. Fun of getting drunk outweighed by negatives these days, need to keep that thought front and center.

[–]TheFamilyAlphaPro-Masculine Evangelist 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (3子コメント)

People think more drinks = more fun, negative.

Catch a buzz, cool.

Slurring & crying - not so cool.

[–]Skiffbug 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (2子コメント)

I took a while to realise that when drunk unjust get really annoying, thinking I'm having a lot of fun.

Now I just don't drink more than 3.

[–]TheFamilyAlphaPro-Masculine Evangelist 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (1子コメント)

3 is a great number

[–]stonepimpletilistsHARD CORE NAVY RED 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Frenchies quote I think. Drink one, sip two, hold three

[–]Mecha75 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Fun of getting drunk outweighed by negatives these days

There is also the fun of NOT getting drunk. Being the one in control while everyone else are babbling incoherently. Also, knowing that you will not end up watching a 10/10 at 2am transform into a 2/10 at 10am is also very freeing. We all have been there right?

[–]absolucion 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I cut boozing hard maybe six months into my LTR (going on 5 years) and altogether a couple of weeks ago. My friends are finally starting to smarten up when it comes to alcohol consumption after giving me grief for ages for not going out and getting hammered 8 days a week. Old habits ARE hard to break but it gets easier once your desire for what you gain from abstaining is stronger than your desire to drink.

Thanks for the FR.

[–]Griever114Unplugging 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I still cannot fathom the logic behind drinking. You are ingesting a toxin and empty calories for what purpose?

Thats the "buzz" your are getting, your body and liver saying "DUDE WTF ARE YOU DOING!" And getting shitfaced? Wtf purpose does that serve outside of escapism which of itself is falt bullshit.

Stop drinking, its not worth it.

[–]maxofreddit 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Gentlemen don't get drunk, they have 1-3 & chill.

Solid... I do this myself, but this turn of phrase is great....I'm gonna teach my son this. ;)

[–]TheFamilyAlphaPro-Masculine Evangelist 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I wish someone had told me.

took me until 27

[–]HoveyC[S] 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (3子コメント)

but if it ruins your frame just stop it.

Yeah, I know. Lots of years in craft beer scene, developing a taste for hops, liking being an "expert" in said scene. Looked around at last event I went to, lots of neck beards, flannels, and beer bellies.

Time to move on.

[–]470_2_700_nm 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I had a complete all grain setup with 3 kegs I opened up myself with a grinder and jig. You know hot liquor tank, mash tun with false bottom, and keggle. Corny kegs, CO2 tank, natural gas burner. Counter flow chiller + immersion chiller I'd run in series.

I recently sold it all.

BURN YOUR SHIP MOTHER FUCKER

[–]Coniferous_88 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Interesting to note- hops are a mild phytoestrogen. Probably too mild to really matter, but it does make you wonder.

[–]HoveyC[S] 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Interesting to note- hops are a mild phytoestrogen. Probably too mild to really matter, but it does make you wonder.

I was reading some online about "man boobs" and found constant references to beer/alcohol as a contributing factor from pretty reliable sites. Not sure how much it contributes overall, but it's helped with me cutting back on drinking.

[–]Bloo4M 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Alcohol is my frame killer...and I keep slipping back into over doing it and making a fool out of myself.

Just this weekend.. At the bar...2 drinks in. Bartender is a cute brunette, starts off amazed at my age "OMG your 37 but look 27!" then comes back later and is teasing me for putting "Shine on you Crazy Diamond" on the juke-box and how long it is. LTR is trying to jump in the convo but as usual its me, Mr. Social butterfly, and a waitress/bartender having a laugh. LTR starts doing the thigh rubs, back rubs on me..saying things like "Someone made a best friend" or making snide comments like "Guess I better watch out or I'm gonna here that bartender voice coming from downstairs one night while I'm sleeping" Drink 3...Drink 4...Order drink 5.. LTR says "Well, I'm not sleeping with you tonight I guess" I say "Why the fuck would you say that" She says "Cause you ordered beer #5 and thats when you lose your shit on me or cant perform. See your angry now." Instead of playing it cool I say.. "I'm not gonna lose my shit cause I have a inner calm telling me right now that I dont care if your gonna fuck me or not. And, I was married before we even met so I can live with not getting fucked." Ugh... Still fucked her tho.. Went home, she said "Lets watch TV. Eat popcorn." I said "Nope, going to bed." Hour later she comes in and I pull her towards me, oddly decided it was a cock ring night, and proceeded to fuck her..

Was a 50/50 win I guess but Ive had many a drunk night fuck me up. Its to the point where I got furious with her the other day cause she said "You the closes to being a woman that Ive been with." When I asked what the fuck that meant she said "Cause you lose your shit and get angry like a woman so much".. Ugh..

[–]470_2_700_nm [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

Yeah you need to find a way to hold back. Your game with your wife sounds like my pool game. Peaks a 3 and then nosedives.

Who knows maybe you could have found a way to keep the waitress coming back by buying drinks and discarding them. I'm talking discreetly pouring your whiskey on the floor. And all the while to keep the booze flowing to your wife. I bet if you played your cards right she may have been into sharing you with the waitress.

Or at least she would be feeling social proof of your worth, and you leading towards reaping the rewards of that scenario to the best your mutual ability.

[–]BobbyPeru [スコア非表示]  (1子コメント)

I seldom drink. Just gives me a headache. Alcohol really gets Mrs Peru in the mood, so I'll partake with her and 9 times out of 10 it ends in sex. But, yeah I can see how excessive drinking can kill the frame.

[–]addictedtoyourfaceUnplugging [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

Don't let the bloopers know, or they'll be taking you away in handcuffs.

[–]maxofreddit 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (3子コメント)

Tracking the her cycle was one of the first things I did way back when I started with Athol Kay's MMSL. It only takes a couple months to figure out when she's more receptive.

This, of course, doesn't fix your own shit, but it sure as hell takes a little of the mystery out of the batshit craziness that some of us experience.

Funny enough, over time, she found out that I was tracking her cycle, at first she was a little irked until I shut it down with a playful & smirky, "Why do you think I plan the date nights? I'm making sure I get my dessert!" She giggled, and it's been pretty solid as far as THAT goes since.

There are some things about women that are harder to understand/grasp than others. When you realize that one of those things is actually chemistry that can be measured & fucking timed, it sure feels like the ball is shifting back to your side of the court.

Side question - wife just went for her yearly, doc is looking at her numbers for some hormone replacement stuff, since she's got some symptoms of peri-menopause (she's 46). Anyone got experience with this stuff?

[–]ThrowTheEgg 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (1子コメント)

In roughly same circumstances and curious about this too. What does the big change hold for us in this department?

[–]rationalthrowawaygir 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

you def want her to go for hormone replacement stuff. women don't lose their sex drive at that age, but without hormones they have a hard time getting wet and sex becomes meh.

[–]danieljohnsonjr 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

New MRP guy here, working to understand the terms used here.

Saw your side question and had to chime in.

I work for a doctor's office in Northern Kentucky that does testosterone therapy for men and women. From the feedback we receive from men and women, it works!

[–]TheFamilyAlphaPro-Masculine Evangelist 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I used to use clue(I think that's the name) then after a few months of unchanging patterns I just became aware of her & could, without the app know where we were at.

Sometimes she'll be an emotional bitch, AA or comfort accordingly.

Don't get so caught up in her cycle that you forget to focus on having a good time and just gaming the shit out of her with some passive dread always running in the background.

[–]wally592 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (3子コメント)

42 y/o

Hope you get at least a few years use out of this newfound knowledge before things change drastically...

[–]470_2_700_nm 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (2子コメント)

WTF is the value is this comment?

[–]anythingincMRP APPROVED 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Menopause joke, took me way too long to get, but my girl is late 20s so pretty far from my mind.

[–]PersaeusMarried - MRP Approved [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

oh my the naivete, it is called menopause and it changes the game; ranging from a lot to kamikaze mode

[–]Coniferous_88 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Cycle tracking is important, but its only a tool...and that tool is only really effective if you apply it with the right mentality.

Don't forget to give yourself a pat on the back here- you're obviously making progress by internalizing and properly applying RP principles and techniques.

If you weren't improving as a man, cycle tracking alone wouldn't give the same results.

So, congrats.

[–]Spaw-1-4-5 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (2子コメント)

I cannot express how important it is to know your wife's cycle. Been doing it for about a year now and it's been perfect.

I've gotten away with a shit ton of new kinky stuff that I would try on day 10 or so... (she's got a relatively short cycle of 24 days)

The funny thing is that when she started beauty school, her next period was late and when it came it lasted longer... we both have a theory that it's because of her and her classmates starting to cycle together.

Anyway, knowing the cycle is good because you can mentally prepare yourself for that week before the period hits. I used to get dragged into stupid fights and then 4 days later, period...

Not anymore. Around day 15 I start expecting her to be pissy all the time and to just ignore it.

Her last cycle, during ovulation, she initiated 7 NIGHTS IN A ROW! She even woke me up at 3am after I passed out on the couch so we could bang. It's such an incredible turn around from where we were a year ago.

Fellas, track that cycle... I use the FLO app...

[–]HoveyC[S] 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (1子コメント)

to take this a bit further.....

It appears after ovulation, the testosterone and estrogen plummet back down a day or so later. There can be a withdrawl response regarding libido, mood, etc.
I haven't been tracking enough to comment on this in my situation, but do others see this?

Seems like if true, it's a tightrope to walk

Really frisky, then a day later hormones drop off and interest falls off quickly until she adjusts back to normal levels.

[–]discobolus_ 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I do....I notice that it falls off pretty rapidly. Those 1-2 days after ovulation ends, she's drops off quite a bit. After those 2 days, she bounces back and is pretty normal until about 3 days before her period.

The thing I'm confounded by right now is that my wife is at her most "frisky" and fun about 3 days after her period finishes up - Like around days 5-10. Days 10-15, when she's ovulating, she's still kind of horny, but she's also a turbo bitch. Greater testing for alpha, I suppose? But days 6-10 seem to be the sweet spot.

My half cocked theory here is that while absolute hormone levels aren't highest/lowest at those points, those are probably the days where she's experiencing the greatest change relative to the prior day. Maybe she's more sensitive to the changes?

Or maybe I'm just a beta who's tolerable during those days, and a real alpha is pounding her right during her true peak.

[–]2ndal 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Anyone's wife use Mirena for birth control? I track cycles regularly through Clue, but with my wife the cycles seem less....pronounced? It's tougher to tell when she's going through different cycles, which is good, I guess, because there's less moodiness, but bad because it's tougher to tell when the fertile window is open.

[–]freemefreebie 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

My wife got Mirena in December. It has stretched the cycles out by about a week and periods are shorter. I use Clue and haven't noticed any difference in her horniness. She's ready to go at the end of her period, ready and willing through about day 8-9, then just willing, and about day 24 with Mirena she takes a real nose dive. I swear she ovulates around day 7.

[–]ParadoxThatDrivesUs 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Can't I just skip the app and jump ahead to the bottom line, which is that it's a waste of time and effort to worry about what she "does or doesn't like"?

[–]alphabeta49MRP-APPROVED [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

Cycle tracking is something that newbs like OP have to do in order to have that "oh shit this is real" moment. These guys are so clueless that just realizing that their wife's physical cycle affects her attraction is mindblowing/reassuring/fun to play with. After that, yeah, the novelty should wear off as you get used to the cycle and can predict it without looking up a calendar. And then you get to a place where you realize that catering to your wife's cycle is weak to begin with.

But we all need to experience that process.

[–]Bloo4M 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (2子コメント)

New to RP so please excuse my lack of knowledge on this. I know a little but my case is peculiar.

Not married but LTR, living with one another etc.. so I find this sub better to read/learn.

My LTR is 32, been on birth control religiously since she was 16. So her period from what Ive seen is erratic and wierd. I can find a tampon in the trash on Mon-Wed then none or some months I dont see any in the trash. Shes convinced years of birth control have made her infertile even.

She has just recently decided to change to a UTI next month. I'm kinda ecstatic cause I heard once she changes from the pill to an UTI her libido will go through the roof?

According to my journal I wrote last month on the 16th that she must be on her period cause their is a tampon wrapper in the trash. Now how do I go about tracking now?

[–]Mr_StealY0Girl 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Someone can correct me if I'm wrong but my understanding is that there is no "cycle" to track while on the pill because her body thinks it's constantly pregnant.

[–]HoveyC[S] [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

"the pill" classically provides a low level constant hormone for 3 of the 4 weeks. then the 4th week is a placebo pill (you could take nothing, but the idea is it keeps the woman used to taking a daily pill). When withdrawing the hormone for that last week, the uterus can't sustain the lining anymore, so it falls out for a period. That stops when starting the hormones again with a new month of pills.

So you lose the ups/downs of the hormones. this is good for mood swings, PMS, Acne, etc. Bad for the sex drive effects that come from hormone peaks mid cycle.
there usually isn't ovulation when on the pill, but it can still happen, as the body sort of overrides the suppression of the hormones. Pregnancy still unlikely, however, as the uterine lining when on pill is inadequate for implantation.

[–]BobbyPeru [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

I've been tracking my wife cycle for over six months now. It's the real deal. Another thing to watch for is the end of the cycle – be ready to back off and maybe have other plans a little bit more As she's more apt to be in a bad mood