全 131 件のコメント

[–]Crying-Cat 107 ポイント108 ポイント  (5子コメント)

you know you don't have to value people based on how happy they make your peen right? You don't have to act like a caveman.

you also seem to think everyone measures their worth by how much sex they have, this isn't highschool.

[–]weirddodgestratus 84 ポイント85 ポイント  (4子コメント)

this isn't highschool.

Well I mean for him it probably is

[–]RevolutionaryJebism 51 ポイント52 ポイント  (3子コメント)

I mean, his username is two video games.

[–]gelatomancerHam and mayo on white bread, please. 39 ポイント40 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Please don't blame the video games. They didn't choose to hang out with him, just like the people he eats lunch with.

[–]RawrKittyOMGya'll need feminism 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'm playing destiny rn :I

[–]benevolinsolence 80 ポイント81 ポイント  (2子コメント)

Lol are you even a real person? How is this long as rant so important to you?

Hilarious, don't let the door hit you on the way out trumpet

Also it's very telling that you think men never do anything except to impress women. Sorry about your sad lonely life bud.

[–]Princess_HarshwhinnyProfessionalism. 38 ポイント39 ポイント  (0子コメント)

They said "ur on the wrong side of history," without thinking once about... you know, what words mean.

Pretty sure it's a standard Reddit markov chain generator, but for being mad.

[–]gutza1Christian Social & Economic Justice Warrior 119 ポイント120 ポイント  (8子コメント)

I checked his comment history. This is not a parody, like I thought it was.

[–]EvilNinjadude 56 ポイント57 ポイント  (5子コメント)

It's not the first time. I saw a user with 0 score at the bottom one time and wanted to tell him that he dropped his /s, but no, he was apparently serious.

[–]WaitwhatnowIta aureum somnium in merdam rediit.[M] 40 ポイント41 ポイント  (4子コメント)

Imagine if you will, how confusing the modqueue can be

[–]EvilNinjadude 11 ポイント12 ポイント  (3子コメント)

Oh god. Do you have the Poe's Law Graph printed out and on stuck to the wall?

[–]WaitwhatnowIta aureum somnium in merdam rediit.[M] 14 ポイント15 ポイント  (2子コメント)

most of the time I just end up reading a page or two of history; sometimes an innocent brd gets the ben, and then we have tears on all sides

[–]EvilNinjadude 11 ポイント12 ポイント  (0子コメント)

The Ben... you know, with what happened today, that name is intriguing... if an entire subreddit got rekt, does that mean they got the Big Ben?

[–]gelatomancerHam and mayo on white bread, please. 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Sorry if any of my sarcastic posts ever caused a problem. I try to be obviously hyperbolic but by Odin's Eyepatch it is tough to out idiot the idiots.

[–]-Lautrec- 56 ポイント57 ポイント  (3子コメント)

Thanks for not deleting this, mods

Edit: what does LMBO mean?

[–]SRS-ly#NotAllFlairs 46 ポイント47 ポイント  (2子コメント)

Laughing my butt BRD off

[–]Dial_the_911Lvl. 1 Social Justice Warlock | Patron BRD, Pact of the Dildz 25 ポイント26 ポイント  (1子コメント)

I thought it was "laughing my brd off"

[–]SRS-ly#NotAllFlairs 17 ポイント18 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Hmm. I like that better. I'll edit mine

[–]weirddodgestratus 57 ポイント58 ポイント  (2子コメント)

Oh boy, my first live LMBO!

A bit disappointing tbh, doesn't even really seem like it could possibly be a real person

2/10 would not lmbo again

[–]UltimateDracoMeteorTurds for BRD--Raise money now 20 ポイント21 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Yeah, what happened to the long, sniveling rants that we used to have?

[–]ill_llama_naughty 24 ポイント25 ポイント  (0子コメント)

This guy didn't even tell us how much he benches

[–]minimuminim 56 ポイント57 ポイント  (4子コメント)

[–]ghoststory 10 ポイント11 ポイント  (3子コメント)

fuck hillary but i still love this macro

[–]TrespassersWilliam29Tremendous yuge bigly. Sad. 9 ポイント10 ポイント  (0子コメント)

She really does have a great "you can go fuck yourself" face.

[–]minimuminim 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (1子コメント)

it just felt appropriate given the likely political leanings of OP

[–]Princess_HarshwhinnyProfessionalism. 44 ポイント45 ポイント  (1子コメント)

You sound mad. Thanks for letting us know!

[–]PM_ME_SALTY_TEARSneon legbeard 21 ポイント22 ポイント  (0子コメント)

But how much does he lift??!?!

[–]Blue-ish_SteelQueer, Autistic Social Justice Cleric 42 ポイント43 ポイント  (1子コメント)

ur on the wrong side of history so fuck u, fuck u, fuck u, and fuck u especially.

Man, you must have saved a tonne of time for the important world-changing activities that I'm sure you participate in by cutting out those unnecessary 10 extra letters.

[–]rockthechopper 38 ポイント39 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Aw look at this cute little crybaby. I guess no one ever told you that white man-baby tears only fuel the evil fempire. This was honestly a pretty shitty LMBO, but I did like this part particularly.

we made this country great again and we will make this website great again. ur on the wrong side of history so fuck u, fuck u, fuck u, and fuck u especially.

Since when has standing up for the margianalized people in society EVER landed someone on the wrong side of history? Btw, you won't make this website great again because we are all sleeping with the admins, and this sub is funded by globalist George Soros to help spread feminism. Also:

for years u stupid bitches have been patrolling every god damn joke made on this site and brigading the fucking shit out of it. u think karma matters? ur brigade activism is as worthless as ur existence is.

Wah why do you guys just wanna brigade and take away every hilarious Redditor's internet points? (In the same breath) wow you cucks think karma matters? Self reflection is very, very hard, I know. Hopefully it will get a little easier for you after high school.

EDIT: Wow, it seems like if you leave a helpful comment like I did, OP will reciprocate by PM'ing some of their own advice. Go ahead and give it a shot! Also, he fucking titled the PM "listen here snowflake." With that, and a username like "SkyrimDestiny" this person is just so beyond parody.

[–]SRS-ly#NotAllFlairs 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Ooh, I got one from OP, too

That makes me feel a little less special

[–]PM_ME_A_COFFEE☕️😒 39 ポイント40 ポイント  (7子コメント)

Not to sound old but I feel like LMBO posts were funnier back in the day. This one is just... pitiful. 1/10.

[–]hithazelvideo game journalist 25 ポイント26 ポイント  (6子コメント)

Not even a bench press number. 0.5/10

[–]anaceliterally junkless 22 ポイント23 ポイント  (5子コメント)

[–]SusanDelgado19 12 ポイント13 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Oh my wow

I am very much physically equipped, at least the 9s and 10s that approach me think so.

No words....

[–]alysonskye 9 ポイント10 ポイント  (0子コメント)

It's so adorable omg

[–]youpostyoudiebeneath this white skin, is a skeleton 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (1子コメント)

5'11

I guess that explains the insecurity.

/unBRD am I allowed to make fun of being short in this context?

[–]EmmettChan 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (0子コメント)

No making fun of him, there's a reason r/short is a cestpool. People who are secure enough not to care about their height don't... care about it/mention it. I'm tired btw, in case my phrasing is off.

[–]hithazelvideo game journalist 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Classic af

[–]L17ER4LLY574L1NStealing your frozen peaches 41 ポイント42 ポイント  (1子コメント)

[–]Pyrolytic⊹⋛⋋( ՞ਊ ՞)⋌⋚⊹ 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

x2

[–]butteggsocial justice warlock 26 ポイント27 ポイント  (0子コメント)

k

[–]wileyroxyManservant of the Glorious Fempire 29 ポイント30 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'm gay.

[–]alakasam1993 29 ポイント30 ポイント  (2子コメント)

Wait wait, elucidate me how does being a, "fucking cuck ass dry dick virgin white boy" work. I'm somehow both not in a relationship, as alluded to in the passage wherein my motive are said to be to catch the eye of feminists, and in a kink relationship wherein my partner has sex with another man to humiliate me.

[–]kaijyuu 19 ポイント20 ポイント  (1子コメント)

don't worry, they just pile words they think are hurtful as high as they can manage in the hopes you'll take offense at one or more

[–]gelatomancerHam and mayo on white bread, please. 15 ポイント16 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Tower of Babel 2.0, now with more racism.

[–]BrassOrchids 12 ポイント13 ポイント  (1子コメント)

/r/altright was banned today--drain the swamp indeed!!

[–]SRS-ly#NotAllFlairs 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (0子コメント)

WE DID IT SRS! :D

[–]dal33t 23 ポイント24 ポイント  (0子コメント)

#RedditWasNeverGreat

[–]SRS-ly#NotAllFlairs 19 ポイント20 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Aww. So upset. Poor baby.

Why don't you go back to your safe space in The_Donzo?

[–]Princess_HarshwhinnyProfessionalism. 8 ポイント9 ポイント  (0子コメント)

... I kind of hope The_Danza is a thing and is in every way better than that other T_D sub. But I'm not going to go check.

[–]PM_ME_YOUR_BUTT_BROheterosexuality is a mental illness 20 ポイント21 ポイント  (4子コメント)

imagine being such a loser that you get this impassioned over reddit

lol

[–]Spleeniator 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I would rather not. I mean, empathy for other humans is one thing, empathy for a redditor? Nah man.

[–]IceReignBlack 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (1子コメント)

This shit would be hilarious if it wasn't so sad. If someone banned subs that I went to even if it was unjustified. I would just delete reddit and never come back to the site, its really not that serious.

[–]InannaQueenOfHeavenCuz these words are knives and often leave scars. 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I love SRS, but I would sacrifice it in a second if it meant all the awful subreddits on this site got purged.

[–]JohnCroissant 17 ポイント18 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I always take the opinions of people who end with a string of explicitives very seriously.

[–]One_Four_Five 17 ポイント18 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Jeez bruh you sure get offended by stuff you see on the Internet.

[–]UltimateDracoMeteorTurds for BRD--Raise money now 11 ポイント12 ポイント  (0子コメント)

It's almost like he needs a... safe space to feel protected.

[–]EvilNinjadude 16 ポイント17 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Oh wow, I can't believe I'm seeing the old "White Knight" argument again. Please put it back into its grave, where it belongs.

[–]Commercialtalk♪ I Put a Friendzone on You, Because of My Dildz ♫ 17 ポイント18 ポイント  (4子コメント)

It's been so long since our last LMBO

[–]WaitwhatnowIta aureum somnium in merdam rediit.[M] 14 ポイント15 ポイント  (1子コメント)

TBH most of the attempts have been outright pathetic. I think the dawning age of the literal NAZI has stunted the creativity of the average redditurd; now they just repeat boring taglines and worn out maymays over and over.

[–]Commercialtalk♪ I Put a Friendzone on You, Because of My Dildz ♫ 7 ポイント8 ポイント  (0子コメント)

That's quite unfortunate, I liked reading the tantrums.

[–]IceReignBlack 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (1子コメント)

whats a LMBO?

[–]InannaQueenOfHeavenCuz these words are knives and often leave scars. 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

It stands for laughing my BRD off. BRD is the beautiful blue creature that adorns the heading of our subreddit.

Basically, LMBOs are posts where the people who hate us cry into their pillows in front of us. They expect to wound us for some reason, but never quite make it. They end up banned, mocked, and shamed, and probably angrier leaving than they were when they first posted.

I enjoy them. But they have become very rare... a LMBO of quality, even rarer.

[–]Turing_DecidableSelf-loathing SAWCSM 13 ポイント14 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Nice troll.

[–]scobes 12 ポイント13 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I was really starting to worry they'd forgotten about us.

[–]lolrpizzajeezlol, /r/pizza. Jeez! 14 ポイント15 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Lol as retribution to this post I got spez to ban altright, wtg nerd.

[–]morrocc 11 ポイント12 ポイント  (4子コメント)

Motherfucker's mad that his safespace /r/altright got banned.

[–]Spleeniator 11 ポイント12 ポイント  (0子コメント)

It got banned?

Fucking awesome.

I expect many beard tears over the next week.

[–]TheLidlessEyetrumpy, you can do STUPID things! 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (2子コメント)

Oh shit, when did that happen?

[–]morrocc 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (1子コメント)

[–]TheLidlessEyetrumpy, you can do STUPID things! 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

BRD bless 🙏🙏🙏🙏

[–]trainfanyayhello whiteness my old friend 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Why do you people always capitalize way too much or way too little?

[–]Lemon_Lord311 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (0子コメント)

we will make this website great again

>Implying reddit was ever great in the first place.

[–]LoyalServantOfBRDI drink my own cis male tears 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (0子コメント)

2/10 LMBO, wouldn't read again

You didn't even talk about our SJW plan to enslave all white males

[–]recruit00 10 ポイント11 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Man he didn't even put effort into it.

[–]0rangie 11 ポイント12 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I give it a 0 out of 5.

[–]Greendoor65Token White CIS guy 11 ポイント12 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'm honestly wasn't sure this wasn't an SRSer's joke until I saw the comments. Is this really the quality of SRS's opposition? You'd think the "Right Side of History" would be able to spell You.

[–]brd4eva 9 ポイント10 ポイント  (0子コメント)

How much do you lift?

[–]IllCaesar 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (1子コメント)

fuck back off to tumblr where u can talk about dragons fucking dragons

Oh you mean the nerds of Reddit aren't interested in discussing how the dragons in Tolkein's works reproduce? Fake nerd boys.

[–]InannaQueenOfHeavenCuz these words are knives and often leave scars. 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (0子コメント)

You know, thinking about it, he has Skyrim in his username. Maybe he's hoping we actually will fuck off to tumblr and talk about dragon sex.

...what if that was the very reason he posted...

[–]electricminkBRD, BRD, BRD - BRD is le whirred 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Now that's some good LMBO right there. Only thing missing is the homage to the classics, like "Do you even lift, bro?"

[–]Bobmuffinssoviet jewelry worker 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (0子コメント)

shit yeah, first good lmbo in like, a year.

fuck back off to tumblr where u can talk about dragons fucking dragons

buddy you realize you can do that RIGHT HERE ON REDDIT yeah? /r/dragonsfuckingdragons it's pretty hot i'd suggest it tbh fam

[–]Clockcannon 13 ポイント14 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Wow, I never considered it that way. This well structured argument convinced me that my SJW ways are wrong. See you in r/The_Adolf!!!!

[–]TheLidlessEyetrumpy, you can do STUPID things! 9 ポイント10 ポイント  (1子コメント)

What do you mean I can't get any chicks this way?! SO UNFAIR! All this time I've been trying to be a better human being for nothing!

[–]Spleeniator 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (0子コメント)

That said, my partner is a super secret ebul SJW. Turns out that if you treat people as, you know, people, and care about other humans beyond how they make your penis feel other humans look at you nicely!

I guess I am saying being a better human being is a better way of making other humans touch your intimate parts than screaming about white genocide and using phrases like "vitrue signalling" cause you cannot imagine someone caring about another human being.

EDIT: Tldr: People will be nicer to you when you are not an arsehole. Who knew?

[–]feflolburn capitalism down 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (0子コメント)

low effort lmbo i rate it 2/10 only liked the "so fuck u, fuck u, fuck u, and fuck u especially" bit

[–]AnalyticalAlpaca 8 ポイント9 ポイント  (0子コメント)

id respond to every single one of u losers but as you kno ur mods instantly banned me. so brave talking shit when you have no worries the other person isnt going to say anything back and call u on ur shit. lol fucking pussies.

Hmmmmmm this sounds like another sub I know.

Also this is a very interesting stream of "consciousness."

[–]ShitFacedSteveCucked by Opposums 7 ポイント8 ポイント  (0子コメント)

But how much can you lift? I'm not sure whether you're better than me unless I know how much you can lift.

[–]BodhisattvaAjitaHarbinger of Ego Death 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (0子コメント)

[–]VoteRonaldRayGunEsq. Dilderbrd Group 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (0子コメント)

The secret to draining the swamp is to elect Goldman Sachs senior partners and Exon Mobile CEOs to cabinet.

[–]InannaQueenOfHeavenCuz these words are knives and often leave scars. 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I've waited so long for a LMBO and this one was lukewarm at best. It was like a regurgitation of reddit's "greatest" hits. There was nothing unique, nothing original, just a bunch of the same ol' nonsense I could go to any subreddit and see.

The length was nice. It showed that the poster had a sufficient level of tear-drenched rage for a LMBO. It just lost a lot of points for being so boring and cookie cutter.

3/10

[–]fajardo99˙ ͜>˙ 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (0子コメント)

:)

[–]RacecarlockSocial Justice Sharknado 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Oh no, did we offend you?

Tough shit.

[–]NIPPLESALADS1( ^◡^)っ✂⋃╯ 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (0子コメント)

tl;dr

[–]ShittyAsFuckUserNameain't no nazi's friend 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

lol

^(Also I got the 69th upvote...nice.)

[–]AllAmericanRyzeSocial Studies Warrior 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (0子コメント)

ur all fucking cuck ass dry dick virgin white boys

Wait, I thought we were all sleeping with the admins to keep this sub afloat. Now we're all just cuck virgins?

[–]kaijyuu 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (0子コメント)

do you think that if we had the admins wrapped around our little fingers, teh_donal and a bunch of other subs would either be gone or at least spring cleaned.

perhaps we are at the whims of the winds as much as any are, on reddit.

[–]Batmaso 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (2子コメント)

The country most certainly did stand up for your values, the vast majority of it hates you. Your president has the lowest approval ratings of any president this early in his term.

Also your taste in video games is awful. Skyrim is trash. The story was clunky, the gameplay was repetitive, it was tonally inconsistent, and buggy as hell. The game was a fucking cash grab meant to take advantage of folks like you who don't put any thought into what they say they want.

[–]Spleeniator 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Also your taste in video games is awful. Skyrim is trash.

I hated Oblivion and love Skyrim. No opinion on destiny.

I guess I am saying that there are better things to attack this dickweed on than their choice of videogame. Like, come on, its a fucking keyboard, let the y and the o enter your life cause repetetively typing "u" makes you look like a fucking moron mate.

TLDR: Skyrim > Oblivion. Yeah I said it.

Although the Brotherhood quests in Oblivion were infinitely superior and I loved the murder house and killing someone with some antlers omfg why is skyrim awesome yet poop

[–]InannaQueenOfHeavenCuz these words are knives and often leave scars. 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Skyrim is trash.

Fite me IRL.

I AM THE DOVAHKIIN

[–]SusanDelgado19 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Low effort 1/10 wouldn't read again

[–]IFeelRomantic 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Next time you want to feel like your life isn't all bad, imagine being someone who believes men aren't good people to women unless they're trying to have sex with them.

[–]telekinetic_turtle 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

The Poe's law is strong with this one, but in reverse. I thought this was a parody.

[–]StumbleOnSkeleton High Ethicist 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Do this person know that the dancing viking in the linked gif is gay? He wrote a bunch of stuff after getting his dancing techno viking thing spread around. He seems like a sweet guy.

[–]One_Four_Five 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I thought the same thing after seeing his "low-effort" EDIT. One look at the Berlin Fuckparade and he would see multi-colored hair, piercings, and all sorts of images this poor 9th grader would deem "SJW". SAD!

[–]v7ruvqnlo3 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Bahahahhahahah

[–]mindscent 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

1/10 low effart

Can't even jerk to this.

[–][削除されました]  (4子コメント)

[removed]

    [–]WaitwhatnowIta aureum somnium in merdam rediit. 12 ポイント13 ポイント  (3子コメント)

    Telling people to kill themselves is against reddit TOS (finally!). This warrants a ban.

    [–]PM_ME_SALTY_TEARSneon legbeard 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (1子コメント)

    It wasn't already? Man, this shitshow of a site is even more fucked up than I thought.

    [–]WaitwhatnowIta aureum somnium in merdam rediit. 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

    It was... sort of? But not enforced.

    [–]evergreennightmarecartoon commie 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

    wonder if that includes e.g. telling nazis to follow their leader

    [–]fun-prohibitedSocial Justice DPS/Tank 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

    I like how he posted this on the same day that /r/altreich was banned. Drain the swamp indeed!

    [–]starbucks_red_cupSJWS CAUSED WW1!!!! 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

    [–]wolololololo2 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

    yeah but free speech

    [–]scarecrone 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Tag yourself, I'm the cow who doesn't know what to do with ur penis.