I used to be very ashamed of my situation. Not conciously but subconciously. I know i have to go somewhere in my life but you know what? I was disabled as hell by a chronic disease which is life threatening and people are still dying from it. Its called lyme disease. Many MGTOWs wrote me how it absolutely wrecked their life, some had luck with weird treatments, i had luck with a plant based diet and herbs, doctors almost killed me (stupid women love to praise doctors in groups they are herd thinkers)

I used to think "oh i have to be like all the other people" and tryed to push myself because i lost my university place. Tryed to work but it only made me sicker. Tryed to study hard but i crashed. I was trying way too hard and tryed to please others.

When i finally began to take it in my own hands and spend more time at home, i felt like rotten to the core. What to do in life? Although being an "top alpha" dog i always got the hypergamy fist fuck from women for "being sick" - yeah nice excuse for hypergamy isnt it? When i didnt tell them, they stayed longer but i basically went MGTOW after my last LTR because i saw the same pattern with every woman, every personality. They all knew that im smart and wanted to use me as their horse i see it clear as the day now.

I had huge stress with my parents, family in general and MGTOW helped me to stand up for myself and put people in their place. I also saw the BP cuckfest around me and how these people SHOULD NEVER BE TRUSTED. Fuck the cucks seriously there are better friends out there.

It doesnt always work but on a good day i can be frickin scary and you better dont try to fuck me up because im smart but if you hurt me ill hurt you back. So much nonsense programming in my brain from the old times.... I never realized it was a reason why some relations worked and others didnt.

Anyways i used to be "ashamed" because i have obviously no job didnt fit in. But guess what WHO the fuck cares, im actually in the position now to enjoy my life again, to get on a special welfare for sick people and regrain the remaining health that i need. Most people that push you hard never lost their health. Empathy is something that is missing in that game of society. All people are basically drones.

And i learned english on the internet and while i read books about lyme and the human body....all of that. I know i have the abilities and the strength to continue. I dont know one person who educated himself like i did so you could say at this point im already some kind of expert and im proud of that. I see how many people are even too scared or dumbed down to help themselves. Its pretty weird what happend in the last 3 years, it felt like 10 years to be honest.

I abandoned most women and toxic BP friends who are narcissits and i feel now more surrounded by healthy people. I still have some female friends but all of them are not narcissistic and they come from the countryside so hympergamy didnt damage them as badly...but be sure i dont believe in NAWALTs.

I restarted my rock band again and it runs great it gives me such a blast. Sure on some days im still not feeling good but its still decent, im a fairly skilled human apart from my handicap. I told some people that i just wanna chill for now because i deserve it, do what makes me happy (music) fuck man i made it to 60-70% (3 years ago i was hardly at 20%) and i took the winter off of non stop treatment.

I just was gaming with my friends and going out a bit, reading, all of that. And i dont give a shit. I saw how some bluepillers wanted to shame me but i didnt give a flying fuck, im just laughing most of these guys will pay child support in a few years after their divorce. Fuck them. They didnt walk in my shoes, its my life and we all know 98% of women are awful. My situation isn't that bad anymore. It used to be a living nightmare.

A lot of it came from my parents because they shamed me. They always wanted to fit me into society. They never wanted to accept the facts. Another part was my sister came down with the same disease and she is now seeing the truth. I dont feel bad anymore if i stay at home, play some videogames (exceptionally good at it), do my protocols and go to sleep. Who the fuck cares?! I still have secrets plans and of course im gonna work from home in the future. That saying i went through hardcore red pill rage because of women, society and all that happend (health is another red pill because doctors are mostly morons)

Thanks MGTOW - its truely more helpful than chasing pussy all day.