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Sheriffs don't have to know nothing 'bout birthing no babies

David Clarke, he’s this guy. Sheriff of Milwaukee. Jerkoff. “Democrat,” LOL. Accused of arresting a man for shaking his head at him, he not only didn’t deny it, he said he had preempted the “threat” of headshaking, and dude was lucky he hadn’t “knocked him out.”

clarke-airport-threat

In addition to being VERY GRRR MANLY, he is also terribly delicate: He went to the Women’s March and was TAUNTED. And then he was TAUNTED AGAIN! His reply was a whine that the women wouldn’t fight him, and where were the cops when he needed them?

Poor macho snowflake.

Well, over the weekend, there were many (MANY) MASSIVE actions around the country, as “President” Donald Trump’s illegal executive order banning permanent US residents from their homes based on nation of origin (which is, again, illegal) was met with whole fuckloads of citizens in the streets. Perhaps you saw some pictures! There was Copley Square in Boston:

And there was Washington DC:

Pic in Washington by your compatriot 'LipTherapy'
Pic in Washington by your compatriot ‘LipTherapy’

And there was a little but loud one in Denver, where your Editrix and her fam made a surprise appearance, because of how we’re still not even back in Montana yet from DC’s Women’s March, and shit is POPPING UP ALL OVER:

The point is they were EVERYWHERE. So what does Milwaukee Sheriff David Clarke, who is sworn to uphold and protect the Constitution, think of all this?

 

Oh. That “Constitution” he’s talking about. What’s it a “warning label” for? Extreme toxicity? Because the Constitution we’ve read says,

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

What were people peaceably assembling for, in order to petition the Government for a redress of grievances? An executive order prohibiting the free exercise of religion! So that is like a five-fer, right there!

In fact, and we’re sorry to say this, because It Is A Bummer, but despite the mass, MASS outcry, in the streets, regarding that very executive order — which three individual judges ordered stayed, the executive branch is still not complying.

While they’ve backed off the ban for permanent residents (green card holders), agents of Customs and Border Patrol are still not permitting detainees to see lawyers, as mandated by the Constitution Clarke says is his “warning label,” and the White House is doing its level best to provoke a constitutional crisis by telling judges it won’t be complying.

A senior White House official said earlier Sunday that the president had the right and Constitutional power to enact the order. According to the official, the judge’s decision changed nothing.

“All stopped visas will remain stopped. All halted admissions will remain halted. All restricted travel will remain prohibited,” the official said. “The executive order is a vital action toward strengthening America’s borders, and therefore sovereignty. The order remains in place.”

With the federal judges’ ruling appearing to conflict with the executive order, uncertainty and chaos continued across the nation as lawyers sought access to those detained at airports and reports rolled in that Customs and Border Patrol agents were not abiding by the federal ruling.

Sheriff Clarke can posture all he wants about what he thinks “the Constitution” is (might makes right, presumably). He’s wrong, he’s small, he’s stupid, he’s weak, he looks like he smells like too much Axe, he’s an embarrassment to the good people of Milwaukee and the rule of law, and he’s up for reelection in 2018.

Hell.No. Hats
  • MynameisBlarney

    What a crazy bastard.

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    Can someone just post the “Not This Asshole Again” bunny and just get it out there. Thanks.

  • MynameisBlarney

    He IS Sgt. Waters from A Soldier’s Story.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Say … you know who else was “a constitutionally elected POTUS”?

    • Khavrinen

      No, see, that was, like, totally different, because…
      um…
      you know, reasons, or something.

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea

    Sean Spicer starts off his press briefing by saying Trump has spoken with Canadian prime minister Justin Trudeau to give his condolences over the shooting at a Quebec mosque where six people were killed.

    Spicer notes that the “tragic” event is a reminder “why the president is taking steps to be proactive rather than reactive when it comes to keeping citizens safe.”

    In Trump’s America, you have to keep your citizens safe from having to do such unpleasant tasks themselves.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      I’m just getting up – have they sorted those claims of the gunman screaming allahu akbar and stuff?

      • cmd resistor

        All I know is I saw one headline (FOX) saying one of the 2 suspects was of Moroccan origin. I refused to read it because it was FOX. Last I saw was that one of those detained was a witness who had called 911. So now it is supposedly down to one shooter. Maybe. Still in the What The Hell phase of reporting, I think.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          ah…twitter had that allahu akbar thing late last night…apparently it came from one anonymous witness who spoke to one news outliet.

          Some super smart wonketteers noted this may have been an ironic thing…you know nazi/racist humor. I buy that more than I do Northern American muslims attacking a mosque.

          • cmd resistor

            NY Post just put up a story saying the alleged shooter is the French Canadian guy listed earlier as one of the suspects and the supposed Moroccan guy is the witness. French Canadian guy supposedly a student at the local U.

      • sw19bender
        • sw19bender

          One suspect, one witness – according to most recent reports.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          thanks! still on coffee #1 and perusing the news, but I should be doing work. : (

      • OneYieldRegular

        All I know is that Trump’s executive order hasn’t done shit to stop a terrorist attack, but it has certainly encouraged one.

    • Nounverb911

      Speaking of unpleasant tasks, will trump be going out to Dover AFB to meet the plane carrying the body of the Seal Team Six member killed in the raid in Yemen?

      • Sandy Beaches

        I certainly hope not. I don’t want that gelatinous orange glob of whale jizz in my state.

    • sw19bender
    • OneYieldRegular

      Trump’s “proactivity” just got six people murdered.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      A domestic shithead shooting immigrants reminds us of what, again?

    • formerChild

      I don’t have the article in front of me just now, but I seem to remember that in the Quebec shooting it was Muslims who were killed.. So then, to keep the citizens safe, wouldn’t it be prudent to deport all non-Muslims?

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      The shooter was a white nationalist. So Fanta Fuckhead’s “ban” wouldn’t have done jackshit to stop the shooting. Such a shame when actual reality gets in the way of your alternate facts.

  • Nounverb911

    Isn’t this the guy that got glitter bombed that one time in DC?

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    OT: Just joining you, but if you haven’t seen it, the “no new regulations without eliminating two others” has dropped. This is not how you budget donnie! Also too, I love how he’s phrasing this as a way to save monnie, when he explicitly said during the campaign it was because regulations were too tough on (small) business.

    “Section 1. Purpose. It is the policy of the executive branch to be prudent and financially responsible in the expenditure of funds, from both public and private sources. In addition to the management of the direct expenditure of taxpayer dollars through the budgeting process, it is essential to manage the costs associated with the governmental imposition of private expenditures required to comply with Federal regulations. Toward that end, it is important that for every one new regulation issued, at least two prior regulations be identified for elimination, and that the cost of planned regulations be prudently managed and controlled through a budgeting process.”

    https://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/2017/01/30/presidential-executive-order-reducing-regulation-and-controlling

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      Regulations don’t work this way. Jesus.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        IKR?
        government doesn’t work this way!

        • MynameisBlarney

          “Govt. doesn’t work! Elect me and I’ll prove it!”

          Every republican campaign speech, ever.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            lol, “I’ll show you all just how screwed up government can be! Hold my beer.”

      • TJ Barke

        I, for one, look forward to all the future poisonings and exploding Pintos.

      • OneYieldRegular

        This is not a f*cking sale at Macy’s. It’s like “three strikes,” a completely arbitrary approach that takes the word “responsible” out of “fiscally responsible.”

    • HogeyeGrex

      Also, too: There is something suspiciously absent from the White House website today.
      http://images.dailykos.com/images/358987/story_image/ScfreenshotWH.jpg

      Hmmm. Let’s see.
      Executive Branch…
      Legislative Branch…
      uhhhh…
      I forgot the other one.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        lol, yeah that blew up on saturday I think…people on twitter asking him to put it back in.

        Totally totally either insane or incompetent…I really don’t know.

    • OneYieldRegular

      Call me crazy, but the words “prudent” and “for every one new regulation issued, at least two prior regulations be identified for elimination” would seem to cancel one another out.

  • stankbait

    Milwaukee is 10th in the nation in murder.
    Chicago is about 24th.

    Maybe the Sheriff ought to work on that instead of blowing
    hot air on FAUX every day.

    • Nounverb911

      Isn’t his jail first in overall prisoner abuse?

    • Michael R

      … but that takes work , which takes time away from his ” ME ME ME ” tantrums .

  • MynameisBlarney

    Incitement is a crime, Sheriff.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    “l are still not permitting detainees to see lawyers, as mandated by the Constitution”

    I was once told my a prof that deportation is a civil proceeding, meaning you don’t necessarily have the right to an attorney. Maybe our hero Foulmouthed Midwesterner or other legal beagles can elaborate and/or correct.

    ETA: I saw a sentence in an article last night saying State Dept. is pro-actively cancelling previously issued visas.

    • cmd resistor

      Probably true although I could not swear to it as it has been too long since I knew anything about immigration law. Well, I think maybe you have the right but not at government expense like you would in a criminal proceeding. Either way, the judge told them to let the lawyers in and they are violating that order if they don’t do it. I thought I read about some lawyers filing motions for contempt for violating the order, but I’m not sure if they actually did and/or filed them.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        ah, fair point…when the judge says do it, ya do it.

        But yeah, it’s probably complicated. Thanks for the input!

        • cmd resistor

          Complicated if you use the Kellyanne theory of relativity or whatever she said about the judge’s order. I can’t even remember because hard to memorize complete bullshit when you hear it.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        U.S. Marshalls hauling some Immigration officials to the slammer will make for some really interesting theater. Certainly will get all the lawyers in, pronto.

  • OrG

    When the executive branch refuses to comply with a judge’s orders that is called a COUP.

    • Now we’re just pretty much down to waiting to see which side the armed forces takes.

      • OrG

        We are now Somalia.

        • Dudleydidwrong

          Many Somalians cringe when they hear that.

          • BigBoppa ~ Résistant

            We’re no. 2! We’re no. 2! We’re no. 2!

            ~~Somalia, Circa Feb. 15, 2017.

          • OrG

            Many USAmericans do too.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Given how Il Douche has been treating the generals lately, I think that might turn out well for the rest of us.

  • Rick Hill

    The Constitution,the law…they’re like the buybull. They mean what they want it to mean

  • Chadwells

    This self-loathing black man is a sad fucking piece of trash.

    I wish I had a time machine and could send him back to the 1600’s. Then we’d see how this baby dick fuckwit thinks about how things are today.

  • Bill D. Burger

    David A. Clarke, Jr……hmmmm…..David A. Clarke, Jr??? Oh..didn’t he used to (or maybe still does) work as a commentator at what used to be ” Uncle Roger Ailes’ Cabin” (aka: FOX News) back in the day?

    https://farm2.staticflickr.com/1471/25413415014_4810f1c104_b.jpg

    You could always count on Clarke to attack any black person or politician who wasn’t Ben Carson or Allen West.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • sw19bender

    This guy is seriously overcompensating for something.

    I can’t think what.

  • rocktonsam

    that face hair is sure something…

    • Markuserektus

      Misplaced merkin?

      • HogeyeGrex

        Not misplaced.

  • bookish

    It is indeed resistance to Trump. And fuck you too, sheriff.

    • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

      I’m glad he figured that out. Now he knows what he’s up against. We bringin’ it, beotch!

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Lefty Frizzell

    He’s got real grumpy in the years since he recorded “Glad All Over”

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    trump went on a tweeter storm again this morning…won’t post all, but these two made me face palm.

    https://twitter.com/realdonaldtrump/status/826060143825666051
    https://twitter.com/realdonaldtrump/status/826044059647107073

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      Study the world? Trump can’t study his mashed potatoes without getting bored.

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      Yep, not accepting responsibility for his clusterfuck of illegal bullshit.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Our Orange Cicero! I just get goosebumps. …No, that’s a rash, a nervous rash.

      Damn, he’s an embarrassment. “Bad Dudes” ~wretch~

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        “Talking in crayon” really needs to take off in popularity.

    • ViveLaRésistance

      Study the world? What does that even mean?

    • georgiaburning

      Don’t forget, Donnie has never had to wait for a visa to anyplace. Other people always did that for him. Doesn’t everybody get that service?

    • Dudleydidwrong

      He meant to type “Stud the world” which he is attempting to do one immigrant wife or beauty pageant contestant at a time. His short, stubby fingers are a real problem he tweets.

    • BMW

      Trump thinks due process is the process of ignoring making payments to contractors when the bill is due.

  • ViveLaRésistance

    Yeah, no. I’m not reading about this idjit.

  • empf

    The Constitution protects all those rights. These guys are macho, posturing jack offs

    • BMW

      I suspect his constitution is the stardard issue wingnut version, that only has parts of the 1st Amendment, the 2nd Amendment, the 10th Amendment in the Bill of Rights.

      • BigBoppa ~ Résistant

        And they all have an asterisk that is explained at the end of the book.

        *Applicability may vary depending on skin color, religious belief, social status and/or wealth. Some states may ignore in entirety.

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    Houthis aka Ansar Allah, just destroyed a Saudi Maddina-class frigate, shoutin ‘Death to America & Israel’

  • Ωbjectifier

    “He went to the Women’s March and was TAUNTED. And then he was TAUNTED AGAIN!”
    He was taunted a second time? Runaway!!

  • Nounverb911

    OT
    Trump has scheduled his first vacation, he will be in Palm Springs playing golf this weekend.

    https://twitter.com/kurteichenwald/status/826145981532082178

    • Sandy Beaches

      I am blocked from Twitter on this computer, so I have to ask, “Are you fucking kidding me?”

    • mackafritz

      He needs a vacation after 2 weeks on the job? Weak. Pathetic.

      • mackafritz

        On the other hand. Let him take a permanent vacation.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      Is two weeks in the earliest presidential vacation ever?

      • Oblios_Cap

        He’s shattering all kinds of records!

    • MynameisBlarney

      Well, he HAS worked his tiny little vienna sausage fingers to the bone.
      Meaning, he got a hang nail.

      • cmd resistor

        It’s tough signing all those orders, then holding them up for the cameras.

        • Alternative Pony Ron

          That’s two whole different motions. Good thing he’s the healthiest president ever.

    • Nounverb911
    • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

      Let’s make sure to ruin it with protests every day he’s there.

      • Nounverb911

        Good luck getting on to Palm Beach Island, all access is by draw bridge and they will just raise them all. He’ll use Marine One to go everywhere.

        • Alternative Pony Ron

          Then we can at least ruin his view. Anybody know how much it would cost to rent a tramp freighter or two and park ’em just off his beach?

    • Lefty Frizzell

      What a lazy bastard. Lazy, fat, orange bastard. I bet he cheats at golf.

    • BMW

      I fully expect regular “Donald Trump has played ______ rounds of golf since becoming president” updates from Fox News like we got for the last 8 years, right between the teleprompter use updates and the travel expenses for every trip updates.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        I read on the internet that it costs the American taxpayer $2billion to fly Fanta Cocksucker and his team of fuckups anywhere. So it must be true.

    • OneYieldRegular

      Please, Palm Beach, not Palm Springs.

    • aureolaborealis

      To be fair, giving presidential access to people who paid good money for it is kind of like work.

    • All I’m going to say is that this first thing that came to mind, and it made me smile.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r95a3p8Os-w

    • Alternative Pony Ron

      He’s been in office almost two weeks. He must be exhausted.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Maybe we can close the airspace around Palm Beach and trap his orange ass there?

  • memzilla Ω

    A much better Republican says fuck you — with a big stick! — Sheriff Clarke, you unpatriotic Nazi shitheel.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/45cf898d8d8586485e2f7e6b046f76c6da2b005a73b80ff31312b1e39a0f8723.jpg

    • OneYieldRegular

      “But what about the alt-truth?” – Kellyanne Con-Way.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Commie bastard. Was a tree hugger, too.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Head shaking can lead to laughter, which is the crime of ridicule. But it’s not a crime if the victim is, in fact, ridiculous.

    • LesBontemps

      Valid defense, and quite provable here. Case dismissed.

  • anwisok

    “The left isn’t protesting. It’s resistance to our constitutionally elected POTUS.”

    Um . . .yes? Both are true? Both are legal and protected by the Constitution?

    • OneYieldRegular

      This is the same guy who claimed that professional agitators were responsible for protesting the day after the election. Amazing the way those professional agitators managed to disguise themselves as families with toddlers, high school students, shop clerks, grannies and grandpas, etc. etc…

      • He didn’t even try to hide that he was the one trying to incite assault. Certainly does make a person wonder how he runs his office.

      • Alternative Pony Ron

        Masters of deception!

        • foreign agitator Captain Kraut

          The real Russian maskirovka!

  • BosGrl

    OT: I am sitting here watching the Spicer presser and my middle fingers
    are getting tired from being directed at the teevee.

    Also, I finally figured out who he sounds like: Bulldog from Frasier. “This stinks! This is total BS!”

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    So “resisting the president” calls for “pushback” from the police? Christ.
    Who in Milwaukee has the authority to yank his badge?

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      Voters for one.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Pre-empt a possible assauilt? WTF is next?

    • mackafritz

      See Minority Report.

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      Thought crime. Future crime.

    • TJ Barke

      Does that mean in turn that I could pre-empt his pre-emption?

    • MynameisBlarney

      I believe the legal term for what he’s threatening to do is, “Assault”.

  • OneYieldRegular

    Clarke’s “warning label” needs to be about forty paragraphs long.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    Ebony Yosemite Sam.

  • Nick Scroggs

    I’m just sick of the constant use of the term “the left”, as if it’s a single monolithic bloc, I’ve heard it used form many Trumpers, one stating how “entertaining” it will be to see “the left” fall apart on itself with these protests..

    • cmd resistor

      ME TOO.

    • Lefty Frizzell

      Haha – it seems at election time the left’s whole problem is that it isn’t a monolithic bloc.

  • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

    Look at the way this vainglorious idiot – a fucking COUNTY SHERRIFF! – adorns himself with medals and insignia. Then look at this picture of the five star general who was Supreme Commander of the Allied Forces in Europe that defeated the Nazis:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/42460a7b860c7c4b3a029ed33fca225197878b5b0374ceb9b185c32bff5f5a02.jpg

    Pathetic. We shouldn’t be surprised that Clarke supports Donnie. He obviously has mental illnesses in common with the worthless bastard.

    • Juan de Fuca

      It looks like Clarke is wearing a Navy Seal badge, Army Special Forces tab, Scuba, HALO, Pathfinder and combat jump trinkets, in addition to the Expert in Being an Asshole badge. He’d shoot 40 out of 40 on that range.

    • Michael Smith

      I think that Supreme Commander would be very disappointed if he could see us now.

      • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

        No question

    • aureolaborealis

      Also, Clarke’s jurisdiction is very limited.
      From Politico in 2014:

      As sheriff, he has ultimate authority for law enforcement in the county, but in reality, his jurisdiction is limited—the freeways, the courts, the airport and the jail.

    • Alternative Pony Ron

      Rank insignia, service bars and hash marks. Yup. REAL soldier, not some wannabe.

    • Yr. Gma

      I remember him. His picture was on the wall in my first-grade classroom.

  • TJ Barke

    Notice how the LAW AND ORDER crowd care more about LAW AND ORDER than they do about Justice.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      lol, more order, less law!

    • Nick Scroggs

      “Justice? Justice is coming to all of us. No matter what the hell we do.”

    • sw19bender

      No Justice. Just Us.

      • Sister Artemis

        I actually tattooed that on a cop 3 or 4 years ago. He had an interesting and enlightened take on his role as a small town officer. Wish there were more like him.

    • Or the law, really.

    • JC7

      “Law and order” is just another old-ass, racist RW dog-whistle.

      • TJ Barke

        Well yeah.

  • Unpresidented_in_Seattle

    Where is Bob Marley when you need him.

  • mackafritz

    Is this guy wearing enough flair?

  • Juan de Fuca

    Audie Murphy didn’t even wear that many badges on his uniform.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Audie Murphy was a modest man.

    • Ωbjectifier

      Actual heroes rarely do.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    With four exceptions, every time I have personally heard/read a Court’s opinion that a citizen’s Constitutional rights have been violated — and I stopped counting years ago — the violator has had a badge.

  • sw19bender

    Wonder how the good german sheriff would handle protestors’ taunts in the UK?
    https://twitter.com/RobSkilbeck/status/826142976334233601

    • mackafritz

      I give him credit. He has certainly united the world in opposing him.

      • Oblios_Cap

        See- he is a uniter.

    • Oblios_Cap

      The British have such a way with words.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        Shakespeare would be so proud.

    • cheetojeebus

      Ya gotta love scousers!

  • Villago Delenda Est

    There is zero chance that this fascist fuck has ever read the Constitution.

    • Lefty Frizzell

      He’s read the New Revised RWNJ Constitution
      1) Hillary’s going to take your guns
      2) Jesus
      3) No muslims or fat chicks

      • mackafritz

        Guns! Guns! Guns!

        • kareemachan

          Benghazi!!!

  • boyblue123

    He might want to read past the cover of the little book hes holding up

    • Alternative Pony Ron

      And not skip all the parts to either side of the Holy 2nd.

  • LesBontemps

    Yeah, you could totally see this coming when Trump hung that portrait of Andrew Jackson in the Oval last week: http://thehill.com/homenews/administration/316115-trump-hangs-portrait-of-andrew-jackson-in-oval-office

  • Nasty Candy Apple

    The Executive Branch won’t comply with an order from the Judicial Branch. The rule of law has broken down in that case, right?

    • Sister Artemis

      yep, pretty much.
      It won’t happen, but I’d love to see our 3 female justices get all up in his face.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      So now what do we do?

  • TJ Barke

    You run a glorified speed trap, Clarke. The only reason you get airplay is because you happen to be a black authoritarian. FO&D.

  • BMW
  • tihond

    #NotMySheriff (Sadly, he is my Sheriff)

    • OrG

      Vote him out!

      • tihond

        I try to, everytime. Last election, a third party candidate got a decent amount against him, but the conservative suburbs carry him.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    One more piece of idiocy from today’s Trump tweetstorm:
    https://twitter.com/realdonaldtrump/status/826073437735100418

    • Crank Tango

      So he’s admitting there’s some outrage.

    • Nounverb911
      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        But they make the Scotch Tape he uses in merikka, right?

        • BigHorn

          Ffs. Scotland. Obviously.

    • Nasty Candy Apple

      I seem to remember Lou Dobbs being strident on this very issue, Donald.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Fuck. The projection…it’s blinding me!

    • Jenny

      Which has nothing to do with refugees, deflect deflect!

    • TJ Barke

      My Congresscritter has always been a vocal opponent of outsourcing, so fuck yourself, Donnie.

    • cmd resistor

      This “opposition party thing” is making me pissed off.

    • Alternative Pony Ron

      Similarly, where was the outrage from the Reptards? Trick question, they were laughing all the way to the bank.

  • Fartknocker

    Three things:
    1) Your reputation as a law enforcement is diminished when you look like a server at Chili’s who stopped at every State’s Welcome center and purchased a lapel pin.
    2) As a law enforcement officer you are sworn to uphold all the laws in the State of Wisconsin and certain Federal statutes. Waiving around the Constitution and cherry picking your favorite statutes further diminishes whatever iota of credibility you still have.
    3) You may still get picked by Trump but you’re like Governor Krispy Cream of NJ and Sarah Palin – thank you for your service but you can leave.

    Also, The Economist has a nice read about Donnie and Brexit:
    http://www.economist.com/blogs/bagehot/2017/01/long-list

  • Jenny

    Goddammit, someone grab the microphone from the idiots please!

    • Alternative Pony Ron

      Nah, I love listening to them spout nonsense. Or as the British call it, taking down in evidence against them.

  • Crank Tango

    So is he tearing out the warning label?

    Is USAMERICA a mattress?
    http://images.mentalfloss.com/sites/default/files/styles/article_640x430/public/mattress-tag_5.jpg

  • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie
    • Edith Prickly

      Valar morghulis…

      • aureolaborealis

        … Valar dohaeris.

        • WIDTAP

          Dracarys

          • foreign agitator Captain Kraut

            It is known!

          • WIDTAP

            That’s what I do. I drink, and I know things.

            (You’re welcome, Wonketteers)

  • sw19bender
    • MeerkatsRMammals

      Yes! Praised by neo-Nazis…

    • QHarp, Mujer malévola

      I think it’s like that old fortune cookie game where you add ‘in bed’ to everything? Just take everything Spicer says and add ‘by Stormfront’ to it, and it will become true.

      • Pierre_de_Fermat

        Period!

  • Crystalclear12

    OK, sad thought. Is Trump so simple minded that he thinks doing those things he shouted during the champaign will improve his approval rating? Is that why he doing so many back to back?

    If so, someone needs to remind him that the majority of the nation did not vote for him. Maybe provide him with a list of what makes us happy?

    • mackafritz

      Except he doesn’t believe the vote.

    • His approval rating is 95%, maybe 100% or 120%! The dishonest media is telling you he’s less popular than genital warts because they’re bigly jealous!

  • Nounverb911

    This just in:
    The Saudis are sending trump a division of 80 hawks to help protect him from attacks from above.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/38f8b1624ecfb752065253f0b97930e3e07adee77a08f11b4dfff84f741c1914.jpg

    Sheriff Dave will be given the honor of cleaning up after them….

    • Crank Tango

      Well, at least there will be minimal motherfucking snakes.

      • Juan de Fuca

        I’m still using “I’m tired of all of these motherfucking rapes on this motherfucking plane!” at work.

        Must credit Wonkette and Dok Z.

    • BigBoppa ~ Résistant

      It’s nice they thought to bring all those checkered tablecloths. But shouldn’t they spread them out because, you know, bird poops?

    • TJ Barke

      They will keep him safe from deadly field mice.

      • natoslug

        He could have accomplished the same thing by hiring Little Bunny Fufu. But no, once again, Trump had to outsource good American jobs.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        Their bites can really hurt.

    • Thiazin Red

      I see so many ways for this to go terribly awry.

  • Oblios_Cap

    You gotta really admire Clarke’s amazing ability to live the motto “To Serve and Protect”. What a guy.

    • Crank Tango

      “To project and swerve.”

    • BigBoppa ~ Résistant

      He’s got the serve part down cuz back in the day he definitely would’ve been working up at the house.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Pontificate and suck is Clarke’s motto.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      “To Protect and Serve the Rich and Powerful”
      There wasn’t room for all of it on his badge.

  • sw19bender

    Don’t know what they all mean, but presumably it isn’t favourable:
    https://twitter.com/PhilDorward/status/826145319020789760

    • NastyBossetti

      I always thought BAM stood for bad ass motherfucker. It must mean something else in Scottish.

    • boyblue123

      I had to urban dictionary ‘roaster’. Thats a colorful one

      • ZangoCrudmonger

        Nice to have a new one for the arsenal.

    • Scrofula

      Would he be a bam roaster shite? Shite bam roaster?

    • Tetsu Kaba

      God I love the Scots use of language!

      • chortlingdingo

        They really do have a lovely way with words, don’t they?

      • JustDon’tSayPeriod.Period!

        But, um, WHICH language?

        • Scots. Like Norwegian is almost Danish, but not quite – same relationship between Scots and English. Robbie Burns wrote “Auld Lang Syne” in it.

  • tihond

    When you’re too over-the-top for the Trump administration…

  • tihond

    Who militarized Gordon from Sesame Street?

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    Here’s a suggestion, David. Glue some pumpkin seeds in your beard, at least then it would appear like you could bite as viciously as you bark.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1dec887c56e01c91516ffa867fda87957be6e3f86581a4c4bba47076cf85470a.jpg

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      Tic Tacs.

      • BigHorn

        tRump’s slightly used ones.

  • azeyote

    Trumps Stephen

  • cheetojeebus
  • whitroth

    And as I like to quote, the Treaty of Tripoli, “as we are in no wise a Christian nation…we gots no probs with making a treaty with a Muslim nation”.

    But hey, Wonkette, get this: it’s happened: there’s a opinion column in today’s WaPo…calling for impeachment. In the column, the author gives a list of mostly Muslim countries under his ban…and then, a list of mostly Muslim countries that are *not* under his ban… that Trump companies do business with. What a shocker… there’s no overlap. So, his decree helps his businesses.

    High Crimes, here.

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/volokh-conspiracy/wp/2017/01/30/was-trumps-executive-order-an-impeachable-offense/

    • If only they’d signed that license to build a Trump resort! Look at all that urban renovation going on in Syria!

  • sw19bender

    Okay all. Interwebs won for the day/week/year:
    https://twitter.com/Bonn1eGreer/status/826148643937906689

  • DQKennard

    If he considers head shaking a threat in need of preemptively assaulting people to “defend” himself, then there are sufficient “threats” in the world that he’s not safe to go out. Institutionalization is really the only answer.

  • TheBoatDude

    What is it with dudes with those kind of goatee’s?

  • Randy Riddle

    I know that Village People cover band gig didn’t work out and it was a big disappointment, but he doesn’t have to take it out on everyone else.

  • Beanz&Berryz

    Anyone with so many pins and medals on his chest MUST be a powerful man. Like an octogenarian North Korean General. Like that. And Clark is such a dainty snowflake he needs to shoot you if you laugh at him, because manhood and threat. He is just a plain, sad, sorry PUSSY – and NOT in the good way.

  • Baconpope

    That’s Heath Ledger’s hat from Brokeback Mountain. Nobody tell him.

  • 950Hoon

    The writer of this is an idiot

    Rebecca Schoenkopf should stick to writing Barney scripts, or other children’s books or shows. Her childish name calling, her ProDemocrat, anti Republican diatribe just shows how bad a loser she is.

    • BigHorn
    • There’s a bad smell in the room.

      • Alternative Pony Ron

        Erase bad smells with Disqus Block! Disqus Block removes 100% of all troll-based stenches or your comments back!

        • Pierre_de_Fermat

          We gotta be nice to Dok; this cr@p is going on for a while.

          OK, first this:
          https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C3YqndIVcAArEG_.jpg

          And now (and I have had a dread this was going to happen, but all norms are out the window with “President” Trump)
          Bill Kristol (and may Dog have mercy on my soul for this)
          https://twitter.com/BillKristol/status/825837257600925696

          and the embed:

          The more you look at the EO, the more clearly un-serious it is in addressing any real problem. It's Breitbart-like boob bait for the bubbas.— Bill Kristol (@BillKristol) January 29, 2017

          The thing is, I suspect he is right: this immoral, illegal order is “boob bait for the bubbas”. It does not matter whether it is tossed out or not. It is the sign they (say/believe) they wanted.

          • puredog

            “Breitbart-like boob bait for the bubbas.” Kinda sings, don’t it?

          • Pierre_de_Fermat

            Yes. Yes it does.
            It’s just to get the cult back in line. While Bannon sits on the NSC.
            I knew one day he’d have something I couldn’t resist.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      “The writer of this is an idiot.”

      I think he is referring to himself. 950Hoon needs help.

      • Alternative Pony Ron

        Yeah, between the childish name-calling and projection it needs an awful lot of therapy.
        Oops, I accidentally blocked it. Too bad.

      • Nice of them to give us a heads up that they’re an idiot.

      • Ducksworthy

        Obviously. They misspelled A. Its The writer of this is A Idiot.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      You seem to be new here… is it Fascist or Sh*thead you object to as childish? Both? Just Sh*thead. How did you raise your children that as children they were using Sh*thead? If Fascist isn’t childish, and I think it’s a terribly long stretch to think it is, you then must think that Fascist is anti-Republican in that Fascist Republican are upset about being called out on their Fascism. Which would be about the one reasonable aspect of Republican Fascism.

      So.. what to you think about Alec Baldwin’s incorrect Russian translation of MAGA?

    • Poorly Behaved Résistanista

      An do you know what else the writer of this does, in addition to none of the things you mentioned? If you show up at the right place at the right time she’ll buy you free whisky! Any of your right-wing bloggers every bought you whisky? And fucking fried macaroni and cheese balls! Hah!

    • ResistanceFictionista blondeiq
      • Nockular cavity

        My sign for the next protest, whatever it’s about.

    • Sister Artemis

      New here? Not really catching on to the gig? Missing the snark? Out of tune with what’s happening?

      Someone who comments on a blog without getting a feel for its style isn’t much worth paying attention to.

      • Last Hussar

        Good job comments are not allowed.

    • gratuitous

      Whaddya mean, “ProDemocrat”? Sheriff Clarke himself is a Democrat! You know, just like Nathaniel Bedford Forrest was.

      • Ducksworthy

        I’m just glad to see that Clayton Bigsby has found gainful employment.

    • JustDon’tSayPeriod.Period!

      HI!
      Fuck off.

    • sincarne

      If she’s a bad loser, does that mean she’s a good winner? For example: you are a good loser.

    • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn
    • clubseal

      You really misspelled Breitbart in your Google search.

    • BigBoppa ~ Résistant
  • WA state Attorney General Bob Ferguson, one of 16 who denounced it yesterday, announced he has filed a federal lawsuit against the order this morning.

    “a senior WH official”? Would that be President Bannon?

  • Jgb979

    “Pushback time”

    But but but someone might be there ready to throw glitter!

    https://m.popkey.co/fd8897/9GAv3.gif

    • Jack Tenhet

      Yeah, he still has flashbacks from that glitter incident. That was his Vietnam.

  • Pathetic Clarke obviously became a cop only because he couldn’t win a fair fight.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Clarke won that fight by shooting him with both hands tied behind his back… the shot guy, that is…

  • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn
    • Bongstar420

      At least the nazi hated gays, jews, and coloreds

  • SammyDEEEE

    Dammit, if I’d known the Editrix had been there I would have given her and the Wonkette Baby a high five while I was there.
    (I was the big dude with the “Where’s Cory?” sign, btw.)

  • Bebecca

    Umm, Sheriff Clarke, Joe Arpaio is not a good role model…

  • BadKitty904

    Americans really need to stop electing crazy people to public office.

    • chazmanr

      That requires an educated populace. Good luck with that.

      • BadKitty904

        The Republican Party has been working very hard, for decades now, to prevent that from happening.

        An ignorant electorate is an easily controlled electorate.

        • C4TWOMAN

          In living memory we’ve had rural, kick ass. working class, educated liberals/Democrats. Molly Ivins, Jim HIghtower…WTF happened to the base is what I want to know. Education is part of it. The Right Wing Noise Machine is another part.

          • John Resistant Tovarich Smith
          • FukuiSanYesOta

            Love, love DPM. If you havent, read his collected letters. Fascinating insight into the mind of a truly caring, brilliant man.

          • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

            Honorable mention to Tip O’Neil, elder statesman.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          And Fucks Gnus was happy to provide it.

          • BadKitty904

            And the school boards the Repugs targeted for packing.

      • Bongstar420

        We want to eliminate education for half our population and make the rest that are not super rich go to private christian schools.

        Just ask that devos lady

        • miss_grundy

          And we need to have guns in schools to protect the children from grizzly bears……. No really, she said that…..

          • JC7

            “Potential” grizzlies… yeah.

  • clubseal

    Not allowing detainees to see lawyers? That’s like track #2 on Guantanamo’s Greatest Hits, isn’t it?
    Guess the Constitutional professor Clarke forgot that the sixth amendment makes no mention of citizenship whatsoever.

    • tomamitai

      They also keep forgetting that the Constitution doesn’t grant rights to the People, the People both delegate and deny powers to the government through the Constitution. The Bill of Rights was meant mostly as a list of things the government can’t do to the People, and the ninth amendment makes the point that it wasn’t meant to be an all inclusive list, that there are other unenumerated rights retained by the People. But of course, the only two amendments the neo-confederates who have taken over the Republican party ever mention are the tenth and the second, and they get those wrong.

      • clubseal

        Spot on.

      • brucej

        Oh no, they know the first amendment well: “Jeebus trumps everything else here!”

        • Bongstar420

          The Constitution is a secular document. They hate secularism
          They are so American. Us secularists are so anti-American

      • Bongstar420

        They are just sour that Africans are considered persons under the Constitution now

    • Grokenstein

      This is when the fascists stop yip-yip-yipping about “American Exceptionalism” and start citing what “other countries” do to justify doing slightly less evil things here: “In Iran, they execute gays!” “You know what they do to ‘illegals’ in Mexico?” “Waterboarding’s not nearly as bad as what ISIS does!!”

      • clubseal

        That’s the same shit they were trotting out over the women’s marches.

        It’s like arguing with infants.

        • Bongstar420

          So instead of trying to persuade them, we should hand out lollipops to distract them from their vaccines they so vehemently oppose?

          Yea, a large, unvaccinated population is totally healthy and not a national security threat.

          Lets bring back the good ol’ days when kids died from measles and smallpox.

          • clubseal

            I was thinking of maybe finding more ways to deligitimize their voices.

      • Bongstar420

        Of course its OK to almost do what your terrorist opponents do because you aren’t similar or anything like that

  • JackLinks

    What do all those shiny badges on his uniform pockets represent?

    • hendenburg2

      His North Korean General cosplay?

    • Bongstar420

      Analgasms

      • doktorzoom

        Oh look. THREE anal cavity search jokes. You really need some new material, and to read the rules.

        — Dok Zoom, Yr Friendly Neighborhood Comments Moderator

    • coldbrewmilwaukee

      His fetish

    • dagg_12

      Badges for microwave cookery, knot tying, expert pancake flipper, and I ate a 5lb burrito in a half hour at Mexican Mels.

  • Last Hussar

    As noted just below – why does he have so many freaking badges. Milwalkee has a population of 600,000. London has a population of approx 10m, and the Commissioner of the Met Police is often considered to be the most senior policeman in Britain.

    This is what his uniform looks like

    http://www.umuvugizi.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/Metropolitan-police-commissioner-Sir-Bernard-Hogan-Howe.-.jpg

    • Last Hussar

      The small chain is for the whistle- which is more traditional than useful.

      • Bongstar420

        The good ol’ days.

    • gamera23

      Bling

    • JustDon’tSayPeriod.Period!

      Needs moar Krazy Eye

    • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

      Maybe he is a drag queen?

    • Bongstar420

      It gives the authority the appearance of legitimacy when there are no other ways to create that perception?

    • pussygrabber in chief

      Maybe those are badges he stole from girl scouts.

      • theblackdog

        Or that he beat out of them.

    • miss_grundy

      Yes, but the English are polite and not flashy…..

    • CatCafe de la Resistance

      Yes, but he also arrests people like this: “Oh, I say. Rather. Bit of a mix up, do come along, there’s a good chap.”

  • sweet freedom

    Replace that uniform with a beret, leather jacket and black gloves, and his supporters would be screaming to have this clown locked up.

    • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy

      He would also have to not look visibly psychotic.

    • Bongstar420

      Naaa…They would tremble with euphoria and vote without thinking in anticipation of wide spread anal cavity searches

      • doktorzoom

        See, once is a mistake. Two comments that are basically identical, that’s tiresome. Please review the rules.

        — Dok Zoom, Yr Friendly Neighborhood Comments Moderator

  • Nockular cavity
  • ResistanceFighterCaptainHowdy
  • Grokenstein

    and he’s up for reelection in 2018

    “But but but does he have an opponent whose values are in line with my preposterous and selectively-applied standards of purity? Is there a gadfly spoiler candidate I can piss my vote away on under the pretense of pursuing those standards? Otherwise I’ll have to sit this one out again.” — Progressiver Than Thou

  • Bongstar420

    I bet he gives awesome anal cavity searches

    • doktorzoom

      Hi! I see you really think anal rape jokes are hilarious! You really need to review our rules for commenters before making any more funny jokes about cavity searches being a hilarious form of rape. (Haha, anal rape!)

      — Dok Zoom, Yr Friendly Neighborhood Comments Moderator

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        You got a live one up above, Dok.

  • theblackdog

    Sheriff Clarke should really be known as Uncle Ruckus. I’m reading about his arresting the dude for shaking his head at him and now all I can think of is he’s gonna be the dude stringing up an innocent black man for whistling at him.

  • Alan

    It’s very sad that the threshold for public service has become “not yet officially diagnosed as insane”.

  • Milwaukee, you got one job to do come 2018.

    • E.A. Blair

      The problem is that he runs as a Democrat, so he gets votes from people who might not like him but who are lazy enough to vote a straight party ticket.

      • Sharon Cooper

        There’s no reason another Democrat can’t run against him.

    • GordonGekko

      DUMB NI GGER

      • Sharon Cooper

        That’s right. It’s totally the place to use racial slurs and display your own ignorance.

  • GordonGekko

    I lke this NI GGER cop

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      Be sure to pick up a t-shirt on the way out, mmmK?

  • Jack

    Can we form a new Church? I vote we form the “Church of Punching Nazis, For Jesus” and let Trump protest our right to to the free exercise of our Religious Freedom! He can gather all the Trumpanzis and give them signs like “Punch Me, Punch Me!” and we could punch them all, with votes of course.

  • Begin Anew Day

    Saint Malcolm X did try to warn us about the “house slave” mentality where the house slaves looked down upon the field slaves. House slaves LOVED the master and his family.

    Same old, Same old.

  • Mike Steele

    Of course admin is defying court orders. Check WH website. The judicial branch no longer exists.

  • xy

    Clarke is one of the few beings i truly wish would stop existing.

    i think i cleaned that up pretty well.

  • Mike Steele

    Also, too, what’s with all the extraneous pins? He looks like a server at TGIF (no libelz intended).

    • xy

      it’s how losers make themselves feel important.

      see: any dictator.

      • Mike Steele

        Back in the day, Borscht Belt comedian Georgie Jessel used to show up in (Israeli?) army uniform laden w/medals:)

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      Flair libelz!!! (You knew it was coming.)

  • Begin Anew Day

    Patton had more medals.

    That litter on the sheriff’s shirt is just puny.

    Yo sheriff! TRY HARDER!

  • Leeandra Larry

    He will not arrest you if you have a BBC. He is just a latent homosexual.

  • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

    I never see this pointed out: Clarke hates liberals but he’s a fucking Democrat! I guess it’s fine to run on the Dem ticket if it gets you elected.

    • HazooToo

      What was he even like when he first ran as a Democrat? Did he lie? Did he pretend to care about people’s rights?

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