I used to be very ashamed of my situation. Not conciously but subconciously. I know i have to go somewhere in my life but you know what? I was disabled as hell by a chronic disease which is life threatening and people are still dying from it. Its called lyme disease. Many MGTOWs wrote me how it absolutely wrecked their life, some had luck with weird treatments, i had luck with a plant based diet and herbs, doctors almost killed me (stupid women love to praise doctors in groups they are herd thinkers)

I used to think "oh i have to be like all the other people" and tryed to push myself because i lost my university place. I was trying way too hard and tryed to please others. When i finally began to take it in my own hands and spend more time at home, i felt like rotten to the core. What to do in life? Although being an "top alpha" dog i always got the hypergamy fist fuck from women for "being sick" - yeah nice excuse for hypergamy isnt it? When i didnt tell them, they stayed longer but i basically went MGTOW after my last LTR because i saw the same pattern with every woman, every personality.

I had huge stress with my parents, family in general and MGTOW helped me to stand up for myself and put people in their place. It doesnt always work but on a good day i can be frickin scary and you better dont try to fuck me up because im smart but if you hurt me ill hurt you back. So much nonsense programming in my brain from the old times.... I never realized it was a reason why some relations worked and others didnt.

Anyways i used to be "ashamed" because i have obviously no job, no living. But guess what WHO the fuck cares, im actually in the position now to enjoy my life, to get on a special welfare for sick people and regrain the remaining health that i need. I still have a lot to do. And i learned english on the internet and while i read books about lyme and the human body....all of that. I know i have the abilities and the strength to continue. I abandoned women and toxic BP friends who are narcissits and i feel now more surrounded by healthy people. I restarted my rock band again and it runs great it gives me such a blast. Sure on some days im still not feeling good but its still decent, im a fairly skilled human apart from my handicap. I told some people that i just wanna chill for now because i deserve it, i made it to 60-70% and i took the winter off of non stop treatment. I just was gaming with my friends and going out a bit, reading, all of that. And i dont give a shit. I saw how some bluepillers wanted to shame me but i didnt give a flying fuck. They didnt walk in my shoes, its my life and we all know women are awful. My situation isn't that bad anymore. It used to be a living nightmare.

A lot of it came from my parents because they shamed me. They always wanted to fit me into society. They never wanted to accept the facts. Another part was my sister came down with the same disease and she is now seeing the truth. I dont feel bad anymore if i stay at home, play some videogames (exceptionally good at it), do my protocols and go to sleep. Who the fuck cares?! I still have secrets plans and of course im gonna work from home in the future. That saying i went through hardcore red pill rage because of women, society and all that happend (health is another red pill because doctors are mostly morons)

Thanks MGTOW - its truely more helpful than chasing pussy all day.