Struggling... N-Count

Scurvemuch · 3時間前

It is OK to feel bad.

It is ok to have regrets. And its ok to admit that maybe you made a mistake. Maybe not.

Are you venting and want a hug? Or are you looking for a discussion?

I am fine with either, but its Stoneys turn to give hugs.

alpha_as_chiwawa · 3時間前

You've slept with one person because there is no way the person you were could have slept with more.

The time lost is lost forever. Not all people get to experience all the awesome stuff. You think you have it bad to fuck one pussy? Well, there are children dying of cancer who have experienced much, much less than you have (non-sexually I mean).

The fact that you are bothered by her history shows some emotional immaturity. For that kind of thing therapy could help (but I would not recommend discussing TRP there, like, at all).

Get over it and move on. You have 2 kids and a huge obligation.

Pro tip: if you fucked more than 1 it'd just be eating you why not 10, 20, 100? Probably there is a number where that bugging feeling stops, but where is it, who knows?

Pro tip2: had a friend who fucked every hot chick out there in his youth. Committed a suicide last year due to depression. Sometimes I wonder if the disconnect between alpha him and family guy him was just so huge he couldn't get any satisfaction from a perfect, happy family alone? Be careful what you wish for.

sh0ckley · 3時間前

Regret is totally counter productive without action based upon rational analysis of reality. Not feelings.

What do you want to change and why? What can you change and what must you accept?

If she's really as good as you could ask for, then count your blessings.

Epictetus - "The Art Of Living" helped me sort out a lot of what I thought was regret.

GargantuaBlarg29 · 2時間前

Look at yourself. Here you are, a grown ass man, gushing to other grown ass men that the number of women youve fucked is 1. That your wife has had other dicks in her. And that this gnaws at your sense of worth. This screams 'no frame'. This screams 'I get my approval and self worth from sources outside of myself'. This screams weakness.

Get your shit together man. Life is hard and full of regrets and tough decisions. But end of the day it's all on you. If you want to go out and chase other women and that's what you want to do for you, fuck morals and go do it. But notice I said for you. And from what you wrote it sounds like it isn't for you, it's to soothe your ego. Because you think society is keeping score and youre eternally behind. And if that's the case I'd advise to take it slow. Develop a frame, some self worth, and a drive. Once you do you'll feel what YOU want as clear as day, based off nothing but your true wants. (For the record: My n count is 1. My wife has had other dicks in her before me. And she's not a complete bitch.)

QuickieStart · 1時間前

Chill out! Why are you even ashamed of this? I know why, because i had the same upbringing. Was embarrassed of being a virgin. In fact in high school one friend would introduce me as his virgin buddy. I realized our culture says you can and should be screwing wherever and whenever you can, but my family said you only do it in marriage, not for fun, and never talk about it. I knew neither was right. Since then I've been able to erase much of that programming. Been married 20 years to the only women I've ever slept with - no regrets! The sex keeps getting better and better as I get better and better. It gets worse if i don't improve. That's why I'm here - to build a better man. I don't need more pussies for that.

LewisCross · 1時間前

She had between 2 and 4 partners. Which is it? What's the number? She can't tell you what the number is?

By your account, she's done nothing wrong, she's a good woman, and has done right by you in her marriage to you. Also, N=4 these days is actually pretty chaste. You did well to get a woman who mostly kept her legs shut, didn't fuck every guy who wanted to fuck her, wasn't a party girl, and didn't use her looks and body to extract concessions from guys. SOunds like she hopped on the carousel and then very quickly hopped off. Most girls with that N avoided the carousel, or tried it out and decided "nope, not for me." Which inures to your benefit.

My advice is to go talk to someone about this, and work on yourself to get past it. Because if you don't, you'll make your life and hers and your children's lives a living hell, and you'll be basically suggesting that she divorce you. Don't talk to your wife about this. DO NOT talk to her about this. You know enough from her.

Thomaskingo · 1時間前

We have two kids and I feel like I fucked up majorly by getting married and never playing the field.

Man, let it fucking go. You're obsessing over the realization, that she had sex with some other people before you, and she's your first and only. OK, now ask yourself why this bothers you. It doesn't really seem like you yourself know why, besides you think you're supposed to be bothered. "Uh oh she rode the CC before I met her, and now I'm redpill aware, and I think I'm behind on points..." This it? Man, as some philosopher (who I can't remember the name of) said so beautifully; "sex is nothing more than internal rubbing, followed by a spastic secretion of slim!" Pussy is just pussy. You did miss out on the hunt and the weird feeling of victory, that comes with sinking your dick into strange pussy, but fuck that. Make your peace with it. You have a good life and your just afraid, that you missed out. Ask yourself if the alternative of single life really would be that much better. I really think the more important question is, whether your wife is saving her best from you, but that doesn't sound like it's the case. I think you should really examine why you're upset about this? If you think it makes you a lesser man, then you're stone cold dead wrong!

Edit: substantial edit.

stonepimpletilists · 3時間前

If it bothers you, get divorce papers and go spin plates. Or build up a life of plausible deniability, and spin plates with her around.

Or get the fuck over it, and move on

Pick one, fence sitters have painful assholes

FireTempered · 4時間前

Today's quote. "Do what you want"

Mecha75 · 3時間前

Why is this even a thing? Are you just bored with your wife's vag? Are you looking for a blessing to go fuck other women or divorce your wife? Red Pill is amoral. We don't give a crap if you decide to spin plates or not. Come, read, learn, become a better man and share those experiences to help others like me on our paths to self improvement. But don't come looking for acceptance of your hamstered reasons to cheat on or divorce your wife. Do it, or don't do it.

alphabeta49 · 2時間前

Join the club. We offer sad handjobs and the the tears gleaned from a thousand neckbeards.

This is a case of "when you're poor, $5 is a lot of money". The cure? Make a lot of money. Or in your case, get a lot of experience. Yes, I'm telling you you need to go fuck other women to feel better about yourself. That's ok.

And what you'll find in the end is that the Chase of the Strange Pussy is thrilling and all, but at the end of the day you're a man and you'll never be satisfied. You're never going to reach a point at which you say to yourself, "man, I'm so satisfied sexually, all I want to do is stay faithful to my wife now." Ask over60.

But why leave a good woman for no other reason than to fuck shallow women?

Look, there are things a man needs to accomplish in life. Not as a right, but as a rite. Banging lots of women is one of those, and, speaking for myself, I intend to achieve. Whether or not I stay married. It means I've embraced the "cheater" label and don't give a fuck what society thinks. And it doesn't really matter how awesome my wife is or how much we have sex (ok, I take that back. There was one time a year ago when she had a particularly random ovulation period and we fucked 6 days out of 7. All thoughts of other women were absent. But it's only happened once. She's not capable of satisfying me consistently). The fact is, that gnawing feeling you have (sans jealousy, my wife's n-count is just me) is going to remain unless you 1) satisfy it intelligently or 2) keep yourself so fucking busy you don't have time to think about it. <<<Pro tip: once I started a business and spent much more time on my hobbies/lifting/MAP, the obsession with anything other than my mission diminished.

Are you there yet? Are you attractive enough to pull it off? Are you OI enough to not care if she finds out and divorces? Are you level headed enough to not fall for a random? I doubt any of your answers are yes.

pikadildo · 2時間前

Oh, boy you're provoking a ramble. I don't think you're alone. I'm also N=1 and wonder about it from time to time. I've spent a lot of time thinking about this problem. My sense now is a lot of it actually boils down to frustration with myself. For me "someone else" would be about fulfilling some unexpressed desire or curiosity while trying to avoid communicating about it. Usually either because I'm afraid of what my wife would think of me, or because I'm uncomfortable with the idea itself.

I used to spend a lot of time with the covert contract "if I can just figure out some secret desire of hers, I'll have something to negotiate with". But that's a pretty passive aggressive and backwards approach. I think the idea of "some girl out there" is just me wishing for a way to avoid having to be vulnerable and ask for it. Which I now view as pathetic and a personal failure. So at least for now I view the problem as me, not her. Since then everything I've actually told my wife I want to try, she's found a way to accommodate and we're having a lot of fun. Sometimes things are better in fantasy, sometimes things take practice.

Some key thoughts I've come to rely on are that I do not need to explain or understand why I want to try something (esp to myself). "It's hot" is always enough justification. Her fears and discomforts don't invalidate or negate my desires. And that's OK. I don't punish her about it. Actually knowing her fears and discomforts don't change my opinion of her. Sometimes she's had completely strange ideas about things that I would never have guessed. Direct motivated action is a hell of a lot more effective than guessing and subterfuge. I also encourage a much more experimental environment where mistakes and failures are expected. The first time of anything is rarely the best, anyway.

trp_ocd · 2時間前

Dread has great effect on your wife, but a better effect on you.

Are you a swole well dressed dude, knowing you could pull and fuck any chick you want? Or are you the sassy fag with a sore asshole from being perched on the fence, as stone has pointed out?

dandar4600 · 2時間前

If it's any consolation going forward if you nuke it and go play the field, know that pretty much every girl will have a higher n-count than your wife.

470_2_700_nm · 3時間前

Your a pussy. All I read is I "feel" this and "feel" that and the FOMO line is all about your fucking feelings.

Oh and I can't stand the thought of her being banged by her exes. You have oneitus then. I can relate on this but refuse to do so in depth because this feeling comes from a feeling of weakness and pussificton so I'm stopping. Maybe I'm a little further ahead on killing oneitus than you are. But who fucking cares. This is for pussies not black belt MRP's which I'm expecting you are aspiring to be.

And news flash fuck head, you don't need to leave her to fuck someone else.

My ultimate advice: do what you need to do for you. What ever that's is. Have the courage to do that.

Does this mean stopping working to take a few months to reflect the places you've been and get in the best shape of your life? Does this mean to put the pedal to the metal and go for it in business? Does this mean to take some strange pussy on the side, or to ravage your current LTR like the slut she is, enjoying every moment of the experience including the game?

Internet dudes can't tell you this. Only you can.

Oh and stop typing your feelings in MRP it's reminding me of what a pussy I was and to a degree am still. Just. Fucking. Stop. It.

innominating · 3時間前

Go fuck someone else. Ideally, you game that girl into bed, but if not, hire an escort.

As for your wife, get over it, she isn't yours, it's just your turn.

BobbyPeru · 9分前

This issue resides in your head... Nowhere else. MAP, lift, read, and dread, and this insecurity will go away.... Maybe try a therapist (male) if it's really eating you up in the meantime.

jacksarmy · 3時間前

Dude the rule of 3, multiply whatever number she says and you will have the real amount of guys she slept with,12 cocks at least! Have you not seen American Pie..

aurelius_shrugs · 1時間前

Be a man and get side pussy.

Every woman I know has had her ass penetrated and a threesome.

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