I'm asking this question on this subreddit using my throwaway account because I think y'all are best equipped to give me the advice that I need

Sexual frustration is eating away at my life. This year was my first year having sex.

Backstory: I come from a broken neighborhood, one that most of the residents see no way of escaping. This is why, since middle school, I worked tirelessly ( read as much as I can, math puzzles, etc ) so that I may one day gain the opportunity to leave. Well, all that hardwork payed off and I got to attend a top 20 university and major in engineering.

Now, it can go without saying that sticking my heads in the books didn't leave much of a social life. As a result of this, I missed out on crucial developmental stages. So when I got to college, it was definitely tough to adapt. It's forced socialization, and I have pretty much failed at it.

I realized that I was sexually frustrated my sophomore year so I did everything I could to relieve such stress, but to no avail. Fast forward to senior year ( this year ), and I decided that I've had enough and called up an escort. It was fun, but it was less personal than I had desired. I thought losing my virginity would satiate me for a while. But it only did for that day. In fact, the thirst has grown significantly since that encounter.

Now, the crux of the issue: I am becoming less compassionate towards women. In other words, I notice that I'm becoming incredibly misogynistic. Now, I can tell that there might be some who are fuming at that last statement, but please hear me out. It's hard to feel compassion for the opposite gender when you can't probe their mind, know how they feel in certain situations, or remove this veil of sexual mystery from your eyes and see them as people just like you with some different plumbing. It's what I'm asymptoting to. I have sisters, and of course I have a mother. What's worse is that I have a newborn niece. How can I let myself become a misogynist when a couple years time, she'll be looking to me for advice?

I know that the only way to remove this feeling is to become intimate with a woman. I work out incessantly ( I powerlift ) so that I can get my mind off of sex. I read voraciously. I meditate. I try to pick up hobbies. But my mind comes back to sex every single time. There's just no way to get away from it. If there was a drug that rendered my need for sexual contact obsolete, I would take it. But there is none. I try to go about it the normal way. I try talking to women, but they find me weird. Whenever I talk to anyone, the conversations tend to get deep (politics, science, etc), and my overall goal becomes to probe this conversation as much as I can. The women I've talked to ( and I'm not only attempting to talk to hot women....trust me) don't find this agreeable. So it doesn't progress beyond the first conversation.

Trump is president. He's a misogynist. Women's rights are in jeopardy. Planned Parenthood is in his crosshairs. But.....I couldn't care less. I want to care. If one of my sisters decided that they weren't mentally ready for a child, I would want her to have the option to abort. But even after trying to force myself to care by bringing up the aforementioned example.....I still couldn't care less. It's just so hard to.

I know that no one owes me sex. No one owes anyone sex. I'm not someone who believes that males are superior to females. I'm an atheist and I understand that males and females of any speeches differ from each other in very unique and complicated ways. To say one sex is superior to another would be to disregard all the scientific evidence pointing to the fact that such a conclusion is stupid.

I just don't want to be a misogynist. I know that one I graduate, I will be fairly well off ( my major is in high demand, and starting salary tends to 70k+ ), which will inevitably attract women for probably socioeconomic reasons. I'm not hating on that. It makes perfect sense. I'm also fairly fit and somewhat okay looking (I've been told I'm around a 7). But I don't want to treat them like shit. But logic dictates that this is what will most likely happen. I'm not going to let go of the college years of loneliness, and the fact that I had to hire an escort. And I will project that on them. I will treat them like shit. I can already see it.

Seriously, bro. I don't want to be a misogynist....