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It gets worse everyday :( (i.reddituploads.com)

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トップ新着論争中古い順Q&A

[–]TheHeavyJ 426 ポイント427 ポイント  (12子コメント)

The line is, just because I'm on a diet doesn't mean I can't look at the menu. Get it right sister

[–]PM-YOUR-PMS 65 ポイント66 ポイント  (6子コメント)

It's doesn't matter where you get your appetite, as long as you eat at home.

[–]cringe_n_creep 20 ポイント21 ポイント  (5子コメント)

Just 'cause you got food at home, doesn't mean you can't eat out.

[–]KingOfDavid 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

The question is, do you bring your leftovers home?

[–]KuntaStillSingle 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (3子コメント)

Why buy the whole cow when you can grab the bull by the horns.

[–]Iwokeupwithoutapillo 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (1子コメント)

You can get a good look at a butcher's ass by sticking your head up there but wouldn't you rather take his word for it?

[–]NoMomo 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Like a blind man at an orgy, I was going to have to feel things out.

[–]theman387 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

This is exactly what my dad said before leaving my mom for his new partner.

[–]gottafind 597 ポイント598 ポイント  (20子コメント)

This isn't impossible. It's a school nun, not some sort of nun who never sees the outside world.

[–]bipnoodooshup 422 ポイント423 ポイント  (15子コメント)

My catholic as fuck grandma once told my sister "Well it's been a while, gotta take what you can get" after she voiced her concern about the possibility of a thief breaking into her house and raping her.

[–]MrSirShpee 209 ポイント210 ポイント  (5子コメント)

jesus christ

[–]Talska 65 ポイント66 ポイント  (0子コメント)

That's Jason bourne

[–]abnormalsyndrome 9 ポイント10 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yes

[–]Spartacuz9er9er 8 ポイント9 ポイント  (1子コメント)

I think you meant

r/jesuschristreddit

FTFY

[–]totoallynotdowoh 31 ポイント32 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yeah that sub is shit now.

[–]afrobafro 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Probably not Jesus was against robbery and definitely wouldn't rape someone

[–]tru3gam3r 32 ポイント33 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Hahaha that is fucking gold

[–]bipnoodooshup 84 ポイント85 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Pretty much. And this was a woman who smoked like a chimney for 40 years and never wore a seatbelt because the only time she did, it almost killed her. Diabetes got her in the end though. RIP grandma, at least I have The Simpsons to remind me of you because you looked exactly like Homer's mom.

[–]DrSandbags 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I had a Catholic grandma too, and I'll never forget candor like that.

[–]BacardiWhiteRum 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (2子コメント)

/r/thathappened

[–]WaitingToGetBanned 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Hahaha, wow! That IS funny.... So uh... Where does granny live?

[–]Jaz_the_Nagai 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Is your grandma a well-aged Karen Straughen? /u/girlwriteswhat

[–]gordo65 14 ポイント15 ポイント  (1子コメント)

I've known a few nuns, and went to college with a woman who is now a nun. The bit about looking at the menu is definitely plausible, but it's hard for me to believe the awkward "Whoa God did a nice job on that one".

[–]FoolsShip 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

13 years of Catholic Schooling here. Nuns definitely say things like that. They are regular people with normal sensibilities. At first I didn't understand what was even impossible about the post. If it is that a nun made a joke about god and sex then I have heard them say much worse. I had to take sex ed classes with them.

[–]Silent_Shadow_117 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

My aunt works at a hospital that has some nuns, can't remember why. But she said that they were talking to them and they were talking about all the hot doctors and other good looking dudes. So yeah, this one is possibly feasible.

[–]koobstylz 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

One of my dad's favorite stories is when he was at a family reunion, he was drinking his cousin's moonshine in the shed out back when his two nun aunts walked in. Everyone froze and panicked, but they just took a glass for themselves and everyone had a good time.

Moral of the story, nuns can definitely be crass or improper when they want to. Totally possible story here.

[–]Light_of_Avalon 384 ポイント385 ポイント  (3子コメント)

Seriously, not implausible. I had a Brother of the Franciscan order who made that joke regularly.

[–]climbtree 20 ポイント21 ポイント  (2子コメント)

I had a priest that said it was OK to give.

[–]Mr_A 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

'Tis better to give than receive.

[–]gordo65 -4 ポイント-3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I had a priest that said it was OK to give.

A lot of priests say that. It's pretty much the Catholic Church's entire business model.

[–]someonepic 111 ポイント112 ポイント  (0子コメント)

IDK seems pretty plausible to me. I grew up with a nun for a great aunt, her name was sister colean. As a catholic nun she was very gentle but holy shit did have a crude sense of humour. One of the last times i saw her alive she told me a joke that went a little something like this...

"what goes in dry, comes out wet and the liquid that comes out of it tastes really really good when it goes down your throat...."

me with a confused look

"a tea bag, get your head out of the gutter"

[–]Niekisch 127 ポイント128 ポイント  (3子コメント)

I doubt it was a real nun. Was probably one of those wisecracking witness protection nuns who go into the convent because they witnessed a murder and need to be protected from the mob. They're usually pretty sassy and wacky and boy-crazy.

[–]UsuallyInappropriate 29 ポイント30 ポイント  (1子コメント)

So... Whoopi?

[–]sharkeyandgeorge 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Also Robbie Coltrane in Nuns on the Run, fantastic film

[–]Arganovaa 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Oh, whoopie

[–]rnjbond 19 ポイント20 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'm pretty sure this joke has been around forever.

[–]nomadbynature 39 ポイント40 ポイント  (0子コメント)

LOL IDK I went to catholic school and those nuns had a sense of humor.

[–]rxsheepxr 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I've got an uber religious grandmother who told me that if I needed the "recipe" for making babies, all I have to do is ask. I told her that I know the recipe by heart, I'm just a terrible cook. We had a good laugh.

Old, religious people can still have a sense of humor.

[–]freeze-dried 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (0子コメント)

This definitely could have happened.

[–]deltorax 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (7子コメント)

Except for the part in the Bible where Jesus says even thinking of someone sexually is a sin.

[–]evdog_music 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Welp, better gouge out my eyes ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[–]BBCBon 15 ポイント16 ポイント  (5子コメント)

There's also parts in the Bible saying adulterers should be stoned, and that you can't wear garments of two different materials, and that you can't plant two different types of seed in the same field, and that you can't work on Sundays. Guess every Christian is fucked, then.

[–]millafarrodor 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Jesus laid down his life to fulfill the law, meaning that believers no longer have to follow the OT law to go to heaven, or something like that.

[–]billyd99 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

But he says that he's here to fulfill the law, not abolish it. So, yeah, OT law.

[–]gordo65 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I was pretty stoned last time I committed adultery. I'm glad to find that I was acting in accordance with God's law.

[–]Evmister 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Wow that comment sure shows that you have a solid grasp on Christianity!

[–]siaka_stevens 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Can't work on Saturdays*

[–]24Aids37 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (1子コメント)

The story has nothing to do with the top post. Being a nun doesn't make one not a heterosexual.

[–]emptyshelI 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

It relates to being able to comment on something despite the social stigma against doing so.

[–]Jukebawks 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

My High school gym teacher in his 40's said the same thing when a young new hot gym teacher walked by.

[–]Damox 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Learn to live like a man among the true stories as they play, in the internet, welcome to the internet!

[–]hummerboy39 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

And this was a real nun.

[–]Trinklets 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I wish this was true.

[–]bdylla94 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

And the whole congregation cheered

[–]Formally_Nightman 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Change"Nun" to "Priest" and this would not be on this sub.

[–]NeonPatrick 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Someone thought Sister Act was a documentary

[–]s1ugg0 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

ITT: People who don't think the clergy can have a sense of humor. And clearly have never hung out with a Jesuit.

[–]drxzoidberg 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

This logic applies to when heterosexuals look at the same sex and say, "Damn they look good." I'm just appreciating nice work.

[–]TheDentite -1 ポイント0 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I've heard a priest say this. Can OP actually explain why they find this hard to believe.