Greetings Badhistoriers! This is the second part of my review of the film, Dragon Blade.

20.33: The armies notice a sand-storm on the horizon!

21.16: Jackie Chan gives a very reasonable suggestion to John Cusak: "We can stand here, continue fighting and suffocate, or we can let you in for shelter".

22.02: John Cusak agrees. Also, according to movie law, since two main characters have fought one another, they must now become best friends.

22.34: FANTASY ROMAN ARMOUR! DRINK!

23.04: Acupuncture can cure poison, apparently.

24.04: You can tell that is poison because the liquid is glowing.

24.10: EVIL ADRIEN BRODY!

24.50: PLATONIC MALE BONDING!

25.48: Jackie Chan says Roman soldiers are trained to kill people whilst Chinese soldiers are trained to save people. Okay. The campaigns against Wusun and Louland in 108 BC, the taking of Ferghana in 101 BC, and the war against Turfan in 90 BC by the Han Empire were all motivated by compassion and a desire to protect the innocent. It is pure irony that Jackie Chan is saying this in the Western Protectorate, a region that was conquered by the Chinese in the first place. DRINK!

26.03: John Cusak borrows Jackie Chan's blade, stating he has never seen a Chinese sword. He won't either, as long as he is in this movie.

26.34: BEST FRIENDSHIP ESTABLISHED! THE LAW HAS BEEN FULFILLED!

27.09: So they have 15 days to finish rebuilding a city that would take half a year to do normally, otherwise they are going to be executed. If only there was a large group of people from a civilization with a bonus to construction to help them.

27.34: MORE FANTASY ROMAN ARMOUR! DRINK!

28.18: They use the term "Anxi" to describe the Parthian Empire. This earns the movie the ByzantineBasileus Seal of Approval (tm).

28.48: It is a little-known fact that the Romans refused to remove their armour and wore it all the time.

29.00 In the time of Caesar the standard Roman tool for measuring distances was a crossbow bolt attached to a rope.

29.35: The Roman Scutum was also the primary means of moving heavy blocks of stone.

30.06: I should probably be drunk right now but I don't know enough about Roman engineering to identify all the errors. 33.20: The Romans are practicing to the pace of drums whilst engaging in synchronized HOLLYWOOD DUAL-WIELDING. According to Vegetius, Roman training consisted of marching, and sparring against pells with wooden swords and wicker shields that were twice the weight of regular Roman equipment. DRINK!

33.52: I could die of alcohol poisoning just by list all the individual mistakes here:

http://imgur.com/a/eMeMS

Let's see, the shields are covered with so much metal they would weigh too much to be used in battle, and the Romans are carrying spears were spears were only used by auxilliaries by this date, not legionnaires. Also, the blades of the spears are as long as gladius themselves, which would make them too slow and forward-heavy to be a viable weapon. DRINK!

34.24: HOLLYWOOD DUAL WIELD! DRINK!

35.16: HOLLYWOOD COMBAT SPIN! DRINK!

37.57: And by working together, the city is complete. I guess friendship is magic after all.

38.27: It was a tradition in the ancient world that, upon a construction project being finished, everbody would divide into two large groups and then run towards one another, cheering and hugging. In slow motion.

43.03: John Cusak served under Consul Marcus Licinius Crassus Dives. This is obviously meant to represent Marcus Crassus, and in the movie he formed an alliance with the Parthian queen. There are several problems with this. First, Crassus tried to conquer Parthia, not make a treaty with them. Second, Parthia was not ruled by a queen, but an emperor. DRINK!

43.11: The Parthian queen is also the sister of the wife of Crassus, despite their not being any records of marriage between the Parthian ruling family and Roman patrician families. DRINK!

43.15: Crassus also has an older brother named Tiberius Crassus (Adrien Brody), and the brothers of the historical Crassus were named Publius and Gaius. DRINK!

43.48: The movie states that the consulship was an inherited position, and that the son of Crassus would have suceeded him. The consuls (of which there were two) were actually elected by an assembly. The consuls also had to be at least 43 years old and held other positions in the Roman government. DRINK!

43.40: It turns out Tiberius Crassus killed his brother. Marcus was killed by the Parthians, not his brother. Also, the Romans placed a lot of importance on blood relationships, so Tiberius killing his brother would have resulted in his death. For example, in the Twelve Tables:

http://www.constitution.org/sps/sps01_1.htm

One law states:

"Anyone who kills an ascendant, shall have his head wrapped in a cloth, and after having been sewed up in a sack, shall be thrown into the water"

Since the ascendant would be defined as a father or grandfather, it shows how seriously the Romans took the murder of family-members. DRINK!

44.07: The Parthian version of the treaty looks like it was written in Arabic:

http://imgur.com/a/v1upT

Can anyone confirm it so I can take a drink?

45.56: FANTASY ROMAN SWORD! DRINK!

And that is it for now. See you for part three!

Sources

The Complete Roman Army, by Adrian Goldsworthy

The Early Chinese Empires: Qin and Han, by Mark Edward Lewis

Imperial Chinese Armies : 200 BC-589 AD, by CJ Peers

The Making of the Roman Army: From Republic to Empire, by Lawrence Keppie

The Perilous Frontier: Nomadic Empires and China 221 B.C. to AD 1757, by Thomas Barfield

Rome and the Sword: How Warriors and Weapons Shaped Roman History, by Simon James