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Every time. (imgur.com)

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トップ新着論争中古い順Q&A

[–]psymonprime 1598 ポイント1599 ポイント  (49子コメント)

Far Cry 3. I'm battling a giant fire demon. My wife walks in, I tell her not now because I'm fighting a boss. She walks over, and just then it goes from the drug induced vision to some woman riding my character. Hoowwww do I explain that?!

[–]Doxbox49 674 ポイント675 ポイント  (13子コメント)

Did the same with my wife. I just told her my character was on drugs and she seemed to accept that

[–]professortrashwheel 293 ポイント294 ポイント  (2子コメント)

this is the sane response

[–]Artvandelay1 29 ポイント30 ポイント  (0子コメント)

While playing Far Cry 3 I had to embarrassingly explain to my wife why I was listening to Skrillex.

For real though I did see Skrillex live outdoors once and from what I remember it was a grand old time.

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    [–]PanamaMoe 173 ポイント174 ポイント  (4子コメント)

    She understood that sometimes drugs means you end up getting dry humped while you kill a fire demon. Completely rational conclusion.

    [–]slashfromgunsnroses 28 ポイント29 ポイント  (3子コメント)

    Walked in on my wife watching some chick flick during the most steamy 20 seconds of the show. She got the "yeeeeah riiiiight" look from me when she explained :)

    God I was hoping though :(

    [–]addiktion 33 ポイント34 ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Since when did communication become a novelty...

    [–]EIOT 293 ポイント294 ポイント  (15子コメント)

    You killed your friends. :(

    [–]psymonprime 286 ポイント287 ポイント  (3子コメント)

    Actually no! This was half-way through. At the end I chose to save my friends. I thought, "I didn't just spend 100 hours saving them just to run a knife through them."

    [–]Scholesie09 352 ポイント353 ポイント  (0子コメント)

    I was offered tits and murder, or no tits and no murder.

    I Made my choice.

    [–]krispyKRAKEN 42 ポイント43 ポイント  (1子コメント)

    Don't worry I know the exact part you're talking about. Lol

    That is unfortunate

    [–]lukee910 33 ポイント34 ポイント  (0子コメント)

    It's also one of two scenes of this kind that make up a grand total of maybe 2min in a many hours long game. OP got really lucky there.

    [–]cheddarfire 38 ポイント39 ポイント  (8子コメント)

    nah, Citra gives you a little taste halfway through the game but only a tease. You get the full thing if you kill your friends

    コメントをもっと表示する (2 返事)

      [–]PanamaMoe 36 ポイント37 ポイント  (9子コメント)

      I am pretty sure she was dry humping you though, no PiV cause you get up and directly address the Rakyat right after that. Citra did have a nice rack though.

      [–]Itsapocalypse 16 ポイント17 ポイント  (2子コメント)

      Must have been awkward addressing all the Rakyat full chub.

      [–]PanamaMoe 10 ポイント11 ポイント  (1子コメント)

      It was there, for all to reach towards and rally to, the legendary warrior, Lo Wang.

      コメントをもっと表示する (6 返事)

        [–]ilikethings420 10 ポイント11 ポイント  (1子コメント)

        Get out mom I'm playing sex simulator 2017!!

        コメントをもっと表示する (7 返事)

          [–]PC_Mustard_Race83 1031 ポイント1032 ポイント  (44子コメント)

          So in the first Witcher, there is this Dryad that you can have sex with should you choose to do so. She's half woman half tree, so it looks weird as shit. I'm on my second playthrough, going for 100%, so I know damn well I need to knock the bark off that ass. The problem is my wife is in the room just walking back and forth, picking up some stuff, looking through the closet, etc. I didn't want to have tree sex while she was in the room. Not because I was embarrassed. Just because I didn't want to explain WHY I was having sex with a tree, or why I just got a collectible card for doing so.

          So after a bit she tells me she's going to get in the shower. Perfect. I hear the water turn on upstairs, and I go ahead and initiate the tree sex. Then my wife walked back in the room. She had left her face wash downstairs.

          "What the fuck is that?!"

          "Um, The Witcher..."

          "Why are you having sex with a tree?"

          "Well she's only part tree, so..."

          "Why does a tree need boobs?"

          "Well that's the woman-half..."

          [–]Thordane 626 ポイント627 ポイント  (2子コメント)

          "Please don't ask me to explain Polish high-fantasy."

          [–]JunyiiBlvc 160 ポイント161 ポイント  (3子コメント)

          Well he's a guy so.

          [–]Michamus 187 ポイント188 ポイント  (17子コメント)

          This is why you tell your wife "You won't believe the crazy sex scenes these horny nerd devs put in this game". She comes over and you start the scene and both laugh your asses off. Trying to be sneaky about shit like that only makes it seem like you have something to hide.

          [–]andnbsp 62 ポイント63 ポイント  (6子コメント)

          Addendum: this only works if you're not actually weird as fuck.

          [–]_____NIGHTWING_____ 35 ポイント36 ポイント  (4子コメント)

          Just then, half of Reddit hung their heads in shame and walked out of the room.

          [–]Shrewd_GC 7 ポイント8 ポイント  (3子コメント)

          Only half?

          [–]_____NIGHTWING_____ 14 ポイント15 ポイント  (2子コメント)

          One quarter remaining is weird and proud. The last quarter is in denial about it.

          コメントをもっと表示する (1 返事)

            [–]MLG_SlashySouls 13 ポイント14 ポイント  (5子コメント)

            This is solid advice. Just be confidant and genuine. My SO was initially uncomfortable with game of thrones due to some pretty attractive people being nude often. All it took was one discussion where I made it clear that it's just part of the show, we're adults so we don't have to be embarrassed, seeing all the death doesn't make me want to go murder someone, and that I loved her and thought she was the sexiest girl in the world. Once she understood that I'm not watching that stuff to compensate for some need she doesn't satisfy it was good.

            Now we watch things like GoT and fight club and play games with "adult" moments in them fairly often. No more insecurity or embarrassment when we see boobs or dick.

            コメントをもっと表示する (4 返事)

              [–]episoldier 22 ポイント23 ポイント  (0子コメント)

              Sap dat ass.

              [–]mrcrazy_monkey 22 ポイント23 ポイント  (2子コメント)

              It also has the best lines in the whole game

              [–]blazincannons 18 ポイント19 ポイント  (0子コメント)

              Been there. Tapped that ;)

              [–]arsenalfc1987 12 ポイント13 ポイント  (0子コメント)

              Dammit, you just described my life. This is how I feel playing Final Fantasy XV now, everytime Cindy "dresses-like-a-stripper-but-is-an-auto-mechanic" is on the screen.

              [–]caesar15 13 ポイント14 ポイント  (3子コメント)

              What part is that?

              [–]Private_Diddles 74 ポイント75 ポイント  (1子コメント)

              The second act in the druid camp. Geralt and Morenn the tree-lady talk about how dryads only do the horizontal monster mash to procreate. Geralt, despite being sterile, can work his terribly rendered and frog-faced magic to canoodle her boodle for an out-of-focus PG-13 "sex" scene and a strangely explicit card.

              [–]TheVitoCorleone 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (0子コメント)

              The tree-half.

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                [–]artboi88 1825 ポイント1826 ポイント  (117子コメント)

                I usually watch sunny in Philadelphia, and one of the newer episodes caught me off guard. The show likes to cross lines, but never have they gone full porny. The episode was where they go skiing on a mountain. All of the sudden Charlie is going all out on this chick in a bunch of positions. My wife walks in, she asks me Wtf I'm watching. I'm all confused scrambling to stop the channel and try to explain. My wife wasn't alone, my niece, 11yo, was right behind her, she asked me what was going on. I'm at a loss of words here.

                Spent an hour explaining that the show is pure comedy and that is the first time they've done something like that.

                10/10 would keep watching sunny.

                [–]I_Am_Hank_Hill_AMA 657 ポイント658 ポイント  (17子コメント)

                Spent an hour explaining that the show is pure comedy and that is the first time they've done something like that.

                first time

                One of the Lethal Weapon episodes begs to differ...

                [–]lukin187250 235 ポイント236 ポイント  (8子コメント)

                Even Sharks need water!!!!!

                [–]Lampmonster1 67 ポイント68 ポイント  (5子コメント)

                Such a stupid and funny line. Sharks need water more than anyone.

                [–]PM-ME-YOUR-DOGPICS 31 ポイント32 ポイント  (1子コメント)

                Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

                [–]Rofl-Cakes 23 ポイント24 ポイント  (0子コメント)

                Just finish already!

                [–]Komoss 54 ポイント55 ポイント  (0子コメント)

                I've only got one thing... on my mind... REVENGE!!!

                [–]BecausePoopsIsFunny 41 ポイント42 ポイント  (4子コメント)

                For some reason Frank smashing genitalia with someone doesn't seem as porny as this episode.

                [–]MacDerfus 24 ポイント25 ポイント  (1子コメント)

                No full penetration

                [–]krewwww 17 ポイント18 ポイント  (0子コメント)

                "He out busting heads then he's back to the lab for some full penetration. Smells crime back to the lab full penetration. Crime, penetration, crime, full penetration, crime, penetration. And this goes on and on and back and forth for about 90 minutes or so until the movie just sort of ends."

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                  [–]Mike-Oxenfire 11 ポイント12 ポイント  (0子コメント)

                  Shut up. Don't talk. Don't talk. Good, good.

                  Finish already!

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                    [–]theffej 110 ポイント111 ポイント  (12子コメント)

                    Except for those two homeless guys BUTTFUCKING UNDER THE PIER

                    [–]SativaLungz 16 ポイント17 ポイント  (3子コメント)

                    I've had my parents walk in on me during that scene and the scene op is refering to.

                    The worst was when my mom walked in to the room during the scene on Southpark of the computer geek jacking off to all the the people being recorded while on the toilet

                    [–]hustl3tree5 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (1子コメント)

                    It's a cartoon though, so it's not even near as bad

                    [–]Thundering_TNT 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (0子コメント)

                    Or worse, depending on how you look at it

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                      [–]BecausePoopsIsFunny 31 ポイント32 ポイント  (0子コメント)

                      This is your idea of romance?!

                      [–]SolidCake 14 ポイント15 ポイント  (3子コメント)

                      Have you seen the skiing episode? It's very raunchy. I wasnt expected it at all.. it was pretty much straight up porn

                      [–]I17BestHighway 12 ポイント13 ポイント  (2子コメント)

                      Yeah, I've watched most of the Sunny episodes and when I saw the skiing one last week I was pretty shocked. Not only by their choice of character but the bluntness of it- although I think that episode was a parody of some 80's movie that was before my time

                      [–]MacDerfus 9 ポイント10 ポイント  (1子コメント)

                      Second best sudden shocker of the season behind the limo ride

                      [–]MikeyDeez 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

                      I've been poisoned by my constituents!

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                        [–]RugBurnDogDick 100 ポイント101 ポイント  (2子コメント)

                        The Gang Goes Bang

                        [–]martinaee 15 ポイント16 ポイント  (0子コメント)

                        I too was totally caught off guard when Charlie soft-core porned that chick in the Ski-Lodge.

                        Damn... The waitress has to wait I guess.

                        [–]tamasvamos93 109 ポイント110 ポイント  (30子コメント)

                        Geralt be like: "Look at my horse, my horse is amazing."

                        [–]DannyPrefect23 52 ポイント53 ポイント  (13子コメント)

                        Give it a lick!

                        MMM! It tastes just like raisins.

                        [–]BowjaDaNinja 34 ポイント35 ポイント  (12子コメント)

                        At the stroke of it's mane

                        It turns into a plane

                        And then it turns back again

                        When you tug on its winky

                        [–]LiberatedCapsicum 25 ポイント26 ポイント  (10子コメント)

                        Ooooo that's dirty!

                        [–]BowjaDaNinja 16 ポイント17 ポイント  (9子コメント)

                        Do ya think so?

                        [–]xenothaulus 15 ポイント16 ポイント  (8子コメント)

                        Well, I better not show you where the lemonade is made.

                        [–]LiberatedCapsicum 22 ポイント23 ポイント  (7子コメント)

                        Sweet lemonade, oh sweet lemonade.

                        コメントをもっと表示する (1 返事)

                          [–]metalgamer84 20 ポイント21 ポイント  (9子コメント)

                          Reference for those wondering.

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                            [–]prankcall_of_cthulhu 36 ポイント37 ポイント  (0子コメント)

                            as Charlie would say... "WILDCARD BITCHES!"

                            [–]Moneyshot_ITF 30 ポイント31 ポイント  (18子コメント)

                            I was watching this episode on an airplane as it was part of the American Airlines tv selection.....I'm pretty sure everyone thought I was watching porn on a 5 hour flight.

                            [–]glennis1 56 ポイント57 ポイント  (7子コメント)

                            According to hbo and most adult themed tv shows, casually looking at porn during the day is perfectly normal.

                            Seriously, think about how many movies and tv shows the security guy is lounging back in the front desk casually flipping through a playboy.

                            I will never understand how this stereotype got started. Unless I'm completely wrong.

                            Is it ok to casually flip through a porno mag at a desk job?

                            Guess I'll have to find out.

                            Remindme2days!

                            I'll try and remember to post my results.

                            [–]leaves-throwaway123 10 ポイント11 ポイント  (3子コメント)

                            The extent of my porn watching at the office is when I'm slacking off on reddit and I happen to see a NSFW post that looks interesting on the first few pages of r/all. Also, side note, when I went to type r/all the first item on the auto-complete list was r/AllAmateurPorn.

                            [–]glennis1 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (2子コメント)

                            Yeah, i get just happening to stumble onto something when using internet, but that's not the same as bringing "BUSTY JUGS '99" in with you every morning.

                            And considering that porno mags are ancient relics these days, i guess the modern equivalent would be like signing into your pornhub account on the work conputer and not giving a fuck when someone pops in to talk to you.

                            Idk maybe I'm just weird that i would startle and close any porn tabs IF i did look at it while at work and a supervisor walked by.

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                              [–]OkaySeriouslyBro 12 ポイント13 ポイント  (1子コメント)

                              Watched Vice-Principals on my last American Airlines flight and one scene featured a supposed high-schooler (ie someone of legal age playing a high schooler) getting fucked on a clear window with her uncensored breasts pressed up against the glass.

                              I was like "fuck it, American Airlines is cool with this".

                              [–]derpaperdhapley 14 ポイント15 ポイント  (6子コメント)

                              Nobody was watching you watch a tiny ass TV, that they couldn't hear, on a plane.

                              [–]Moneyshot_ITF 9 ポイント10 ポイント  (3子コメント)

                              see that's what I thought. but the lady next to me saw me trying to control my laughter so she asked me what I was watching. She then proceeds to watch the same thing but I don't think she was as amused because she quickly turned it off.

                              [–]Jamaican_Dynamite 18 ポイント19 ポイント  (2子コメント)

                              That's the exact reason I always respond, "You probably won't like it though."

                              But hey, their loss. The bunch of jabronis.

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                                  [–]everybirdsings 8 ポイント9 ポイント  (5子コメント)

                                  That episode was my favorite of that season, I think.

                                  [–]Pitchfork51 9 ポイント10 ポイント  (2子コメント)

                                  Mac and Dennis move to the suburbs is one of the best in the whole series

                                  S11 is good all around, prob best since 5ish

                                  [–]Schmedes 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                  Oh that Wally loves to say it's a hot one when I already know it's a hot one...because I'm standing in the hot one.

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                                      [–]Smaskifa 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                      There's also the time on the Jersey shore when Dee, Dennis and Charlie walk under the boardwalk. Dee and Dennis are going on about the great times they had here as a kid, and that it's a magical place. Then they walk by two hobos having butt sex.

                                      [–]grim_melee 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (2子コメント)

                                      I corrupted my wife a long time ago by making her watch it, now she enjoys it as much as I do.

                                      [–]Smaskifa 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                      My GF watches it, too. We both love it. I love Sweet Dee's use of curse words. She's like the Thomas Edison of curse words, pioneering new terms in many episodes. My favorites are:

                                      • pussy dicking around
                                      • what are you dickbags doing
                                      • that sucks a bag of dicks

                                      [–]jspliff1 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                      Pure comedy gold

                                      [–]katysdaddy 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                      Did you explain the ... Implication?

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                                        [–]A_BROKEN_RECORD 460 ポイント461 ポイント  (29子コメント)

                                        Witcher 3: Rated M for "Mommy has to buy it for you."

                                        [–]ThatSquareChick 159 ポイント160 ポイント  (24子コメント)

                                        I bought it because I needed a break from Destiny. I'm a 33 year old female. I got about five minutes in and BAM titties! I was like "oh, it's THAT kind of game!" and I was happy. Then, I got further along in the story and EVERY TIME my husband looked over from his game, Geralt was balls-deep in some chick. It got to the point where it wasn't funny anymore but it was and I would nervously giggle when it happened and then I replayed it twice more so now he makes jokes that I spend my time fucking elf chicks. There's so much sex in that game.

                                        [–]UnbornParadox 99 ポイント100 ポイント  (18子コメント)

                                        To be fair you have to decide to have sex XD

                                        [–]Apocalympdick 59 ポイント60 ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                        Gotta get that 100% completion

                                        [–]LoonAtticRakuro 44 ポイント45 ポイント  (12子コメント)

                                        When the choice is to sex Yen or not sex Yen I think the vast majority of red-blooded humans choose to sex Yennefer.

                                        [–]ThatSquareChick 8 ポイント9 ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                        It's a video game with no real life repercussions, I'm gonna have ALL of the sex!!

                                        What an odd way of thinking, "not have hot video game sex"....I think I may have to lie down to process that.

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                                              [–]VauIt-Tec 399 ポイント400 ポイント  (63子コメント)

                                              Same goes for movies. Every time I'm watching one and someone walks by. The scene immediately contains nudity. I'm over here with my hands in my hoodies pocket because it's cold and people think I'm jacking off.

                                              By the way, I like your username.

                                              [–]Guardian_Ainsel 268 ポイント269 ポイント  (35子コメント)

                                              Hey mom and dad! Let's watch this movie together! It was really good! cue graphic sex scene I don't remember at all

                                              [–]DannyPrefect23 86 ポイント87 ポイント  (18子コメント)

                                              I've watched Sausage Party with my dad and older brother twice.

                                              [–]Pichus_Wrath 215 ポイント216 ポイント  (16子コメント)

                                              I guess the only question I have is why you would watch it twice.

                                              [–]blaghart 24 ポイント25 ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                              he's a slow learner.

                                              [–]KeepaKnockin 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (9子コメント)

                                              Is it bad?

                                              [–]hypernova2121 25 ポイント26 ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                              it's a stupid stoner comedy. i liked it

                                              [–]PanamaMoe 27 ポイント28 ポイント  (7子コメント)

                                              If you like Seth Rogan's oh my god look at me I'm a super stoner and also kinda Jewish but not really then yeah it is good, but if that comedy isn't your thing then I would give it a pass.

                                              [–]Yeezyonmypizza 26 ポイント27 ポイント  (6子コメント)

                                              Sounds like one of the worst things ever

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                                                  [–]UNBR34K4BL3 15 ポイント16 ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                                  don't worry, i'm pretty sure your parents have had graphic sex at least once

                                                  [–]CptTimperton 14 ポイント15 ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                  My mom walked in just as Shameless season 1 episode 4 started, which the first 30 seconds of is a topless sex scene. Thankfully all she asked was, "HBO or Showtime?"

                                                  [–]jspliff1 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                  Ohhh I remembered something, back when rental movie places existed (like Blockbuster) my parents rented Troy, I was in about grade 5 or so and there was there fair share of Not Safe for Parents scenes in there.

                                                  Afterwards they asked me if it was worth the watch and I told them nope.

                                                  [–]confusedbossman 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                                  I have no idea what they were thinking - I am sure they didn't expect it but my folks took me to The Crying Game when I was 11 or 12. When the penis was revealed my pubescent mind short circuited and my parents thought it was hilarious. I was shell shocked for a couple of days and very confused. It may explain why I like transsexual porn nowadays...

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                                                    [–]StraightfromSTL 14 ポイント15 ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                    Mom's intro to house of cards was season 4 episode 1, that lasted all of 30 seconds. Thanks Obama Netflix

                                                    [–]KingofCraigland 12 ポイント13 ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                    Back in the day I was watching Hackers. There are three questionable scenes where sex is taking place. My mom walked into the room in the middle of all three scenes and not at any other point. I chalk it up to the same phenomena that causes parents to wake you up 2 minutes before your alarm.

                                                    [–]totaljerkface 11 ポイント12 ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                                    I'm the whitest white boy, and watched 12 years a slave on a plane with an all black group of flight attendants. It was real awkward when I had to decide pretzels or cookies during the rape scene.

                                                    [–]HilarityEnsuez 11 ポイント12 ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                                    Of it's pussy on screen, I'm pretty sure it's simply a porno.

                                                    [–]need_new_knee 13 ポイント14 ポイント  (9子コメント)

                                                    I had the brilliant idea to pick Wolf of Wallstreet as movie night with my visiting parents. Now, I don't know if you've seen this flick, but holy goddamn if you haven't don't watch it with your parents.

                                                    [–]Hlemguard 10 ポイント11 ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                                    I always read the IMDB parents guide before choosing a family movie just to try to avoid such situations

                                                    [–]VyvanseRamble 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                    I thought I was the only one self-conscious enough to do that.

                                                    I always do that whenever I take my mom to the movies.

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                                                      [–]J4CKR4BB1TSL1MS 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                      Yeah, especially when watching porn. It's so annoying.

                                                      [–]BigCockBoys 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                      LifeProTip: Get Netflix on your phone if your going to watch Spartacus TV show

                                                      [–]Vict0rian_ 9 ポイント10 ポイント  (5子コメント)

                                                      I'm in high school and I was watching West World because my dad said it was good and literally no one in my family cared that 35% of the show there was at least one character that was completely nude on screen. I was pretty shocked that no one even said anything even mentioning it.

                                                      [–]SuburbanStoner 9 ポイント10 ポイント  (2子コメント)

                                                      That's because when you grow up, it's not a milestone to see a naked person

                                                      [–]ShakoraDrake 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                      I think this might be because West World is an example of nudity and sex done right, so your family was less jarred by it. Most of the scenes including nudity were in the lab, and in that context it wasn't really sexualized at all.

                                                      We got a very brief scene with Logan and several prostitutes, a very tame sex scene between Delores and William and of course, the orgy happening in the background in that town Dolores visits

                                                      Every time a sexy scene came up it made sense, it was usually brief, low on nudity, or it wasn't the focus of the scene. It served a purpose -part of illustrating the setting, it is a theme park for adults with realistic human robots after all - and wasn't just sex-for-sex's-sake.

                                                      I actually really enjoyed how normal the nudity felt after a while. It was so frequent in the lab scenes I eventually hardly noticed it.

                                                      edit: added some spoiler tags, words.

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                                                        [–]metky 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                        I was in Latin Club in high school and convinced the Latin teacher to act as chaperone when the movie Troy came out. While it was hilariously embarrassing for us, I can't imagine how awkward and uncomfortable it was for him surrounded by a bunch of his teenaged students.

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                                                          [–]SubtleMockery 151 ポイント152 ポイント  (9子コメント)

                                                          Well, stop calling your parents into the room for the unicorn sex scenes.

                                                          [–]Redrum29 199 ポイント200 ポイント  (2子コメント)

                                                          Playing GTA when my nephew walks in and starts to watch me play my sister shouts from the other room " I dont want him to hear all those bad words!" I say ok grab the remote to hit mute just in time to hear "FUCK ALL YOU FUCKING FUCKS" .

                                                          [–]Hecking_Walnut 96 ポイント97 ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                                          I was gonna comment on how she's probably too overprotective and how most of the people I know, any myself grew up hearing profanity and seeing violence, and how we're not all terrible people.

                                                          Then I realised I'm a terrible person.

                                                          [–]NICE9GAGWATERMARK 181 ポイント182 ポイント  (4子コメント)

                                                          [–]vestby 223 ポイント224 ポイント  (8子コメント)

                                                          that fucking resolution and with a 9gag watermark.

                                                          [–]y0shman 137 ポイント138 ポイント  (3子コメント)

                                                          https://xkcd.com/1683/

                                                          [–]gill__gill 17 ポイント18 ポイント  (2子コメント)

                                                          The sad thing is 9gag stole it from somewhere else, but now they are getting the credit. Reddit should ban posts with 9gag watermark as it is free advertisement for them.

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                                                            [–]orangeredFTW 216 ポイント217 ポイント  (22子コメント)

                                                            I'm convinced at this point that my wife thinks I'm playing a porn simulator.

                                                            [–]lord_and_savior_Kek 187 ポイント188 ポイント  (3子コメント)

                                                            It could be a porn simulator depending on how much Gwent arouses you.

                                                            [–]ComputerMystic 109 ポイント110 ポイント  (2子コメント)

                                                            silently nods

                                                            [–]J4CKR4BB1TSL1MS 29 ポイント30 ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                                            Did you blink for a brief moment at the lowest point of the nod?

                                                            [–]Damn-The-Torpedos 39 ポイント40 ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                                            Well, I do base most of Geralt's decisions on whether it will get him titties or not.

                                                            [–]devildog25 29 ポイント30 ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                            At least your wife thinks that. My wife walked in right when I first met Whoreson Junior and there where naked women nailed to the wall, hung from the ceiling, and strewn about in a hot tub. Who knows what she thinks of me now.

                                                            [–]cteters 33 ポイント34 ポイント  (11子コメント)

                                                            This. And for whatever reason, being under fire for viewing this sort of content in a game is far worst than viewing the over saturated booby orgy fest that is HBO or an equivalent.

                                                            [–]Token_Why_Boy 29 ポイント30 ポイント  (3子コメント)

                                                            Y'all remember when news companies were freaking out because Mass Effect 1 had some side boob?

                                                            [–]Juandules 15 ポイント16 ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                                            SEXBOX?!?!?!

                                                            [–]Spoofy_Dangle 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                            Really had to fight the urge to downvote you for forgotten trauma.

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                                                              [–]PanamaMoe 29 ポイント30 ポイント  (6子コメント)

                                                              Because watching animated sex for some reason or another is viewed as more perverse than watching it happen on television or in real life.

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                                                                [–]Graym 40 ポイント41 ポイント  (2子コメント)

                                                                Way back when Euro Trip came out, I was watching it when I had a bed being delivered. Right when they walked in the house to setup the bed was the scene with 50 naked men running down the beach. When they left the bedroom to leave, it was the next sex scene in the movie. I wanted to just run after them and explain I was actually watching a comedy!

                                                                [–]FerociousGiraffe 36 ポイント37 ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                                                But you couldn't run after them because your pants were around your ankles and your dick was in your hand?

                                                                [–]Aksi_Gu 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                                Well he had to break that new bed in somehow!

                                                                [–]jc3833 28 ポイント29 ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                                                literally every fucking game, every fucking time,

                                                                I swear, I could play Mario and that would happen

                                                                [–]NinjaRich 46 ポイント47 ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                                That's a whole new meaning of riding bare back that I wasn't expecting to see.

                                                                [–]SamuraiGalactus 19 ポイント20 ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                                ps, i still have the unicorn.

                                                                [–]SanePsycho82 16 ポイント17 ポイント  (6子コメント)

                                                                My mom would come in my room every time this happened with mass effect.

                                                                [–]ripp667 16 ポイント17 ポイント  (6子コメント)

                                                                I had this happen with Game of Thrones, fun times.

                                                                [–]NotGaming 28 ポイント29 ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                                                I watched the very first episode with my Grandma, not knowing what I was doing. She went to bed early.

                                                                [–]Metalhead4026 11 ポイント12 ポイント  (3子コメント)

                                                                To be fair though, like half of game of thrones is graphic sex scenes and nudity.

                                                                [–]The_Kebab_Guy 37 ポイント38 ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                                                9gag watermark? That must be a very old post. Because 9gag removed watermarks long time ago.

                                                                [–]benalexnewman 11 ポイント12 ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                                Seems to be a repost circlejerker. Look at the username. Perfect r/gamingcirclejerk material.

                                                                [–]iPoodtouch 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (2子コメント)

                                                                Was watching deadpool uncensored version (thinking it was it more gore), turns out me and my dad was watching some pegging action. I just gave out an awkward laugh...

                                                                [–]Generalkrunk 23 ポイント24 ポイント  (11子コメント)

                                                                Wow I would actually be so disappointed in you if you were my kid...

                                                                Not romancing Triss is just the incorrect answer.

                                                                [–]vipros42 22 ポイント23 ポイント  (9子コメント)

                                                                Don't be absurd. Dark hair, pale skin and an upper class English accent? Sign me up for that shit.
                                                                Plus, if you are familiar with the canon, Triss is a conniving nasty bitch.

                                                                [–]arsenalfc1987 8 ポイント9 ポイント  (2子コメント)

                                                                Or you do what I did, and end up with neither. Whoops...

                                                                [–]Simon_Magnus 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                                                Right? She straight up pretended to be Geralts lover and even shamed him for flirting with other women. She was taking advantage of his amnesia! Like, that's all kind of sociopath and I can't get over it.

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                                                                    [–]syntience 27 ポイント28 ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                                    EVERY SINGLE TIME.

                                                                    [–]Tikizun 8 ポイント9 ポイント  (5子コメント)

                                                                    Yup, the ol battle axe loves to comment how I am playing "fairy nerd games". Wutevs.

                                                                    [–]Slappy_Nuts 25 ポイント26 ポイント  (16子コメント)

                                                                    So many comments ITT about needing to explain naughty scenes to wives. Who are you people marrying that require this?! Your wives are functioning adults, right? I know that there's the occasional henpecked husband who has to explain/apologize for everything, but is it really that common?

                                                                    [–]SuburbanStoner 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                                    I was thinking the same thing. They act like it's the same as a parent seeing a sex scene of a movie you're watching. Maybe these guys don't realize they can fuck their wives

                                                                    [–]im_at_work_ugh 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (2子コメント)

                                                                    I'm actually more confused as why apparently no ones wife has knowledge of video games. I spend more than a fair amount of time on video games every day but it's nothing compared to my wife. Any game we play she always racks up hundreds of more hours than me.

                                                                    [–]Tullyswimmer 11 ポイント12 ポイント  (8子コメント)

                                                                    Have you ever been married?

                                                                    [–]Slappy_Nuts 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (5子コメント)

                                                                    On my second marriage. Have you?

                                                                    [–]mittythekitty 9 ポイント10 ポイント  (3子コメント)

                                                                    Maybe it's your second marriage because you didn't explain sex scenes to the first one.

                                                                    [–]Slappy_Nuts 10 ポイント11 ポイント  (2子コメント)

                                                                    Nah, her dying had a little bit more to do with it I think.

                                                                    [–]OnePunchFan 10 ポイント11 ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                                                    Oh shiiiiiiiiiiiit. I feel secondhand regret from just reading this exchange

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                                                                        [–]farva_06 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                                        Reminds me of the first time my wife caught me "tenderizing the meat". Got super embarrassed, and tried hiding from it and what not. Her response: "Why didn't you just come and wake me up? I could've helped you with that". Knew right then and there, that she was the woman for me.

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                                                                          [–]ansansansukken 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                                          This happened to me in high school while I was watching American History X. May dad brought a guest over, and when they got to the family room the prison scene was playing. It was awkward.

                                                                          [–]8nate 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                                                          I was watching Team America and my parents decided to walk in during the puppet sex scene. That was...funny, I guess.

                                                                          [–]amlamarra 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                                          I still remember starting to watch Startgate SG1 on the SciFi channel in the middle of the first season. I was instantly hooked & wanted to watch what happened in the episodes I missed. So I bought the relevant DVDs and started watching. A scene came on with full frontal nudity. Completely unexpected. Then my door started opening. My Mom was coming in without knocking again. I fumbled for the remote to turn the TV off, but accidentally hit the pause button instead...

                                                                          [–]Artemis_Clyde_Fr0g 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (4子コメント)

                                                                          Your parents are obviously doing a shitty job if you're playing R rated games and reposting shit on reddit.

                                                                          [–]scaboodle 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                                          rapid space-bar pressing

                                                                          [–]digitalbastard 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                                          Better than your 4 year old son walking in on Geralt going at it with that Skellige warrior broad. I couldn't turn the monitor off fast enough.

                                                                          [–]hopefully_nice 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                                          This reminds me of when I used to play Red Dead Redemption. For some reason, the only time my wife ever saw me playing was right when I was in the middle of some mission that involved me shooting birds out of the sky. She had no idea what the game was about.

                                                                          [–]Michamus 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (4子コメント)

                                                                          Why are your parents walking into your house, unannounced and bee-lining for your room? Are they trying to "catch" you?

                                                                          [–]NaturalGarbage 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                                          One solution that's saved me from countless awkward moments: Move your setup around so that your monitor has it's back towards the door or isn't visible from the doorway, if you have the space

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