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Oh, don't mind me, Donald, I'll be along eventually...
Oh, don’t mind me, Donald, I’ll be along eventually…

Depending on which sources you’re reading, the Obamas were quite gracious or incredibly rude to the Trumps while greeting them for the traditional coffee prior to going off to the Inauguration on Friday. (Because Michelle looked briefly to one side after Melania Trump handed her a gift in a Tiffany’s box — either cruel disgusted side-eye or, like, looking for an aide to hand it to, since Barack was choreographing the two couples to stand together. Besides, isn’t grabbing a handful of box usually Donald Trump’s thing?) We’re going to go with “quite gracious,” especially considering you pretty much have Donald Trump bounding out of the SUV to shake the hand of the guy he’s evicting, and Melania bringing up the rear, forgotten, and then Trump heading into the White House ahead of all three of the unnecessary hangers-on:

And yes, the gift hand-off is a bit awkward, so let’s read as much into it as possible, never mind Michelle leaning in for a friendly hug before taking the gift. Is this the contemptuous throwing of shade or the acknowledgement that we are in a sort of awkward arrangement where something has to happen with this box while we do the photo op, and oops, we didn’t plan for this? YOU BE THE JUDGE!

IMPEACH!
IMPEACH!

So after the pictures, it’s time to go in to coffee, and off goes Donald, who seems to have forgotten, again, that lady who was riding around in the SUV with him. She seemed familiar somehow.

donald-goes-first

Fortunately, the Obamas were there to welcome with the forgotten wife:

melania-left-behind-2

Beverly Hills surgeon explains at home fix for crepey skin around the arms, legs, and stomach.

Maybe Donald simply bounded forward to hold the door for the ladies!

donald-goes-first-2

But was Donald just being chivalrous? Roll 212!

We see Barack Obama gesture to Trump to move him inside, and Donald heads off to the portal without Melania — back, and to the left, back, and to the left! — but waits for the ladies to come along. Chivalry or narcissism? We’re going with not really thinking things through, plus narcissism, but we’ll admit we may be biased.

Thank Crom we have a 24-hour hews cycle to parse these moments. At least the Trumps looked happy when they were having lunch:

trumplunch

Also, your historical note: When Harry Truman and Dwight Eisenhower rode together from the White House to the Capitol for Eisenhower’s inauguration, Ike waited in the open limo rather than go in for coffee, and then angrily asked Truman why he’d gone and released Eisenhower’s son from duty at West Point to attend the inauguration. Ike was furious at the breach of military discipline. Yeesh, these kids.

[USA Today / The Mirror / Randi Mayem Singer on Twitter / WaPo]

Hell.No. Hats
  • Lizzietish81

    Finally, some class at the White House!

  • The Wanderer

    He’s such a gentleman.
    Obama, I mean, not the tiny-handed, tiny-brained pussy-grabber.

  • Nounverb911
    • Creepoman

      Not seen behind the hedge of pink roses are lunch plates brimming full of canned clams.

      • Nounverb911

        Trump will get jealous if I put up a photo of geoducks…

      • tehbaddr

        Mmm, Mmm good!

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Donald is such a loathsome sack of shit on so many levels.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Married With Power

    Donald: A fat woman came into the oval office today… /wild cheering/
    Mel: Damnit Donald. Not this again!
    Donald: Why do I come home instead of peeing with some Russian hos? /wild cheering/
    Tiffany: Daddy, I made a …
    Donald: Why? Why? /shoves hand down pants/
    Mel: Oh god, Donald. Why do you keep doing that? Paul Ryan and Mrs Ryan are coming over.
    Donald: Oh geez Mel. Leave me alone will yah? Can’t you see it’s tough tweeting and fighting with randos on the internet and being Preznit?

  • Nounverb911
  • memzilla Ω

    Say, you know which other black person is out of a jerb?
    . https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ea77a887819594061d010025ba1080a1390daba92e89357863a144eb0c444a19.jpg

    No worries, though — she’s an incredibly talented person who’ll have no problem getting her next gig. #alternativefacts

    • ManchuCandidate

      She is clueless so no worries.

    • Nounverb911

      She can go back to not making movies now.

  • canes_pugnaces

    Imagine being saddled with the Cheetos Dust… you’d stay in NY, too.

  • Nounverb911

    The contents of Melania’s ‘gift’ to Michelle revealed.
    https://twitter.com/AJemaineClement/status/823333912910794753

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Geez, even us plebes know that when you are accompanying someone else with whom you are attending an event, you do not bound ahead of them unless they specifically say that it is okay to do so.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • beingreleased

      I have a friend who works for the CIA. She went to the march Saturday.

      • MynameisBlarney

        I’d love to hear her thoughts on the fat bastard.

  • Nounverb911
    • Beanz&Berryz

      Yet another creepy photo of him with her… His fingers up inside the sleeve of her dress!? Damn…

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Is he leaning up hard against her?…

    • Red Bird Resistance Engineer

      Wow. I just noticed how mature that outfit is for a pre-teen. Mini Channel bag? Gold chain? Gold chain belt? Oh wait. Never mind.

      • An Outhouse for the Resistance

        gold shock collar.

  • Lesser Tiffany

    I didn’t see the picture of the Obamas with their hands on her back before. That’s so sweet. I feel awful for Melania, like part of me is all “B you got yourself into this” but I don’t think this is what she signed up for and Trump obviously treats her like a silent beauty queen.

    • formerChild

      Not picking on you, I just picked your comment at random from a whole bunch of sympathy letters to Melanin. I have NO pity for her. She was already the single most successful gold digger in history before she became the ‘first lady’. And for those that say, “oh, but she’s smart, she speaks 4 languages!”, well, pretty much everybody from that part of the world does too. It’s only Americans that are mono-lingual.

      • Lesser Tiffany

        She was a child model that came from a country at war during her formative years. She’s been passed around in a world that’s pretty awful to grow up in (modeling.)

  • nightmoth

    Even though I’ve slut-shamed her to score political points, I feel sorry for Melania.
    I hope she’ll divorce his raggedy ass after the impeachment.

    • Sandy Beaches

      I’ve sworn off slut shaming her as well after seeing these photos/videos. Maybe she’ll get some peace when Cheeto Benito is presidenting from the White House or the Winter Palace or wherever while she stays in New York.

  • Vincent Ricola

    Those Trump and friends facial expressions are so shitty baby in every single picture I’ve seen since November. They have obviously never heard the “smile and the whole world smiles with you” song.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Judging from the behavior of the Trumpanzees, “Sneer and world sneers with you” seems to be the theme.

  • OneYieldRegular

    “I’m the President now. I didn’t order a trough of roses. I ordered a taco bowl, dammit.”

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • Mr. Blobfish

    So what if she dissed them? Here’s the guy who spent eight years saying her husband was born in Africa. They’re supposed to be all buddy buddy now? Fuck you MSM.

  • Anna Rompage

    I’ve been thinking about our new 1st lady a little bit over the last few days. Seeing the looking of horror, and possibly fear on her face at a couple of the balls that were happening Friday eve, it makes me wonder if she is the victim of domestic abuse…

    I can help but feel like someone who is so thin skinned, volatile & egocentric as Trump, is statistically likely to physically & mentally abuse their spouse…

    • eka

      physically, i’m not sure. mentally, i assume living with a narcissist includes mental abuse.

      she certainly seems to want to have no part of it. but that might mean she has some sanity left. i don’t know what to think about ivanka.

    • nightmoth

      I’m thinking the same thing. Remember Ivana accused him of marital rape after an argument?

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      She fucks Cheeto Satan for money. I have NO sympathy for her whatsoever. If she doesn’t like it, she can go back to Slovenia. Sorry to be a bitch, but she sets my teeth on edge, as do the apologists who lost their fucking shit over Michelle Obama’s bare arms and fall all over themselves to excuse Melanoma’s nude pictures. GRRRRR. Her dress was pretty, I’ll admit that. But it’s a little late to cover yourself from neck to fingertips, chickie.

      • jowgajen

        ^ This one. With the presumption that she made a rational choice in marrying and staying married. And with the extra helping of right-wing racism disguised as hypocrisy. Without the modicum of slut shaming, though.

      • SpideySenser

        And remember how the RWNJ went after Teresa Heinz Kerry? All the negative shit they said about her (not born here, English not first language, blahblahblah) is now precisely why Melanoma is so awesome.
        Personally, I think being a polyglot is a big plus whichever side of the aisle you’re on.

  • DahBoner

    And Bless us Lord for the new boob job I’m about to receive…
    http://img.wonkette.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/trumplunch.jpg

    • nightmoth

      The one she already got was quite enough and she’s probably regretting it now for bringing her to the attention of Donald.

    • Thiazin Red

      As someone with large boobs herself, high necked shirts and dresses are a challenge. They can look good, but also look very frumpy. Without the jacket, it looks frumpy. Partly because like all members of his entourage, her clothes don’t appear to fit properly.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        When your body is not no longer made to natural specs, you’re going to have problems. If Donny won’t cough up the dough for custom dresses, maybe she can shop the San Fernando Valley.

  • Now, I’m not a narcissistic asshole, but if I found myself faced with the reality of actually arriving for my first day as the most powerful man in the world, I think I might be so damn nervous that any thoughts of protocol would be right out of my mind. Hell, I forgot which hand was my wife’s left hand at my wedding. (She graciously held the correct hand out for me after a few awkward seconds of me trying to put the ring on the wrong hand. She’s very kind and very out of my league, God bless her.)

    • BosGrl

      You wouldn’t forget your spouse. They’re supposed to be partners. Anyone else would be holding onto their spouse as they begin a new chapter in their lives.

  • stankbait

    Any we thought our lives sucked! Poor woman. SAD!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Not sure I agree that she is entirely autonomous and free from abuse, but there’s this FWIW:

    https://twitter.com/lkherman/status/823574202972340224

    • Well, at least she was plagiarizing her husband that time… Or Oily Taint, maybe…

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      When she’s alone, she reads Wonkette. I wonder what her WonkName is?

      • Rags

        Biel_ze_Bubba, obvs.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Hey! These are Dalek Bumps!

  • Nounverb911

    OT
    The Sean Sphincter Alternate Facts show begins in 15 minutes.

    https://twitter.com/JDiamond1/status/823587958511046656

    • MynameisBlarney

      So…this is the “1st Officially Official Press Conference” then?

      I guess the one on Saturday didn’t count because he pissed himself and ran off like a WATB.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        yeah athe beginning of the trantrum clip he said this was the “official” one today, but he was going to update them on Trump’s sunday schedule…before going into a 5 minute debunking of the lying press’ numbers about his inauguration.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        P.S. How very trumpian too – the first thing is objectively the first thing, but they’re not calling to call it the “first official” thing.

      • beingreleased

        Those lies were off the record.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Until they say otherwise, this is the official one. Stay tuned.

        • MynameisBlarney

          Sooo….care to make a small wager on how long Sean Sphincter lasts this time before he runs off in tears?

    • Vincent Ricola

      Please ask about Michael Flynn Russia investigation please ask abut Michael Flynn Russia investigation please ask abut Michael Flynn Russia investigation.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      The Sphincter thing is pretty funny. The man has been hated for a long time.

    • Red Bird Resistance Engineer

      Why is the press even showing up? Grow a spine!

  • tehbaddr

    “Nobody respects women more than I do!”

  • Trump on the john this morning, “I”M OUT OF TP!”

    His staff slides documents under the door, “Sign these Mr. President and we’ll take care of it.”

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2017/01/23/president-trump-signs-order-to-withdraw-from-transpacific-partnership/?hpid=hp_hp-top-table-main_tpp-wb-12pm%3Ahomepage%2Fstory&utm_term=.d0f407cf4336

    • His trade and tax cut plans will start an international trade war and
      have disastrous results for the American economy as well as increasing
      China’s influence. Combined with trashing the ACA and the reverberations in the insurance and medical industries it will most likely cause a major recession. Fuck tRump.

      • Thiazin Red

        You’d think people would realize that putting tariffs on things will increase the prices.

    • Reminds me of an old military joke.

      One of the amusements practiced by squaddies in times past was to put a flash-bang in the sewage system. Mostly this just resulted in a victim getting a surprise enema but sometimes worse befell. On one of these last occasions a mass of used toilet paper was expelled into the winds of the Parade Ground.

      Well, the perpetrators rushed to clean up the mess knowing that if they didn’t the RSM would have them in the glasshouse until the Day of Judgment. While they were rushing round one private noted that there was a sheet just being blown into the Colonels Office.

      Horrified he rushed upstairs and begged an orderly to recover the sheet before the Colonel noticed. The orderly agreed and went in but came out, face white as a (clean) sheet,

      “It’s too late!” he moaned, “He’s signed it and had couriered to the Brigadier,”

  • Dudleydidwrong

    Melania whispers into Michelle’s ear: “Can I come live with you guys?”

    • M.E. Lawrence

      Michelle whispers back, “Depends!” and discreetly passes her a voter-reg form.

      • Dudleydidwrong

        Melania whispers in Michelle’s ear, “Depends? I don’t need those, but Donald wears them all the time.”

  • OneYieldRegular

    Not at all surprising, but Trump sure is grabby with Michelle.

    • M.E. Lawrence

      OMFG, that hands-on-her-arms photo–ugh. You shouldn’t be allowed within five states of Our Michelle (or any woman, for that matter).

    • Rags

      Just another standard power move.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Alternate truth: “This American carnage stops right here, right now” – Donald, 20 Jan 2017

    Realty: The American carnage has just begun, and it will be yooge.

  • TundraGrifter

    Looks like lunch was a bigass plate of flowers.

    • schmannity

      Trump is disappointed by the roses. He was hoping to grab some pussywillows.

      • TundraGrifter

        What’s better than roses on your piano?

        Tulips on your organ.

      • Rags

        Now that would have been an awesome dis!

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      And broccoli! FLOTUS got in one last dig.

  • schmannity

    Don’t worry, Melania. The pre-nup waiting period will soon be over and you can start financial discovery. Have you ever heard of Gloria Allred?

  • Antonin Dvorak
  • proudgrampa

    LEAVE MELANIA ALOOOOONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    https://youtu.be/d6_4xEjqI38

    • nightmoth

      We ain’t mad cause she sexy and we not OR cause she got a man and we don’t (I got a nice one). We mad cause all the self-righteous white fundies voted for the sexist creep DESPITE him having kids from 3 different women, one of whom showed a helluva lot MORE than the upper arms Michelle was pilloried over. Also, it was a helluva lot more than “a little cleavage.” What makes ME mad is hypocrisy: always has, always will, so get a clue.

  • Treg Brown

    OT but needed to be mentioned.

    2017 Razzie’s nominees came out today. It’s almost a clean sweep nomination for our award winning imported convicted felon know-it-all friend…

    WORST PICTURE
    “Hillary’s America: The Secret History of the Democratic Party”

    WORST ACTOR
    Dinesh D’Souza [as Himself], “Hillary’s America: The Secret History of the Democratic Party”

    WORST ACTRESS
    Becky Turner [as Hillary Clinton], “Hillary’s America: The Secret History of the Democratic Party”

    WORST DIRECTOR
    Dinesh D’Souza and Bruce Schooley, “Hillary’s America: The Secret History of the Democratic Party”

    WORST SCREENPLAY
    “Hillary’s America: The Secret History of the Democratic Party”

  • goonemeritus

    The Obama’s example of dignity and respect will be missed eventually by all the worlds sentient lifeforms.

    • yyyaz

      It already is among the sentient forms scheduled for elimination.

  • Red Bird Resistance Engineer

    I bet she’s glad she left Ukraine and came to the US. She’s living the dream.

  • Amelia

    https://www.buzzfeed.com/jinamoore/trump-just-slapped-an-anti-abortion-rule-on-foreign-aid

    Wishing I hadn’t eaten lunch, because suddenly I feel a little sick.

    • Treg Brown

      This is bad. This is really bad. And unforgivable if they move forward with it.

      • Amelia

        Dems will fight it tooth and nail, but we’re the minority on every official front right now. This could be a catastrophic loss.

  • fawkedifiknow

    Why would anyone think Trump is capable of observing even basic rules of etiquette, that any other male probably learned from his parents when he was first socialized?

    • BosGrl

      It’s not even just a male-female or etiquette thing. Wouldn’t you want to be arm in arm with your partner walking into the White House?

      • C4TWOMAN

        Yeh, it was like Melania was an umbrella he forgot or something…

      • nightmoth

        No respect, no love showing there—opposite of the Obamas.

      • efoveks

        Now you know why White Anglo Saxon Protestant is big letter WASP. :P

      • M.E. Lawrence

        Are trophy spouses partners? I think not. And did Melania come bearing a gift because she hoped Michelle could use it as a shield? (I, too, feel a little sorry for Melania, even though she’s made some very thick decisions, such as posing in a thong and with a gun, and marrying the worst person in Manhattan/The Country/The World.)

        • BosGrl

          Yep, and that’s my point. They’re not partners.

  • mPEEg

    It’s reminding me (that first still image) of when Japanese royalty visit other countries and make public appearances with spouse literally *in tow* – – as when the wife must walk however-many paces behind the dignitary husband. So archaic.. but now, no longer strictly a “foreign” concept either~

    • yyyaz

      Progress, how does it work?

    • Thiazin Red

      Did they every amend to rules to let a girl be the ruler? I remember reading about that years ago because the empress was having trouble having more children.

    • CatCafe de la Resistance

      She wasn’t even “in tow.” He completely ignored her.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    OT: has it been noted taht Rubio caved is voting yes for Tillerson? (I’m doign actual work making munniez, so haven’t read all the comments).

    • Lesser Tiffany

      Gotta make money to give to the SLPCC

    • BosGrl

      Yes, he’s turned into a Trumpbot.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Nah, he always was one. That grilling he gave was all show. Like Walnuts, he’s a faker for the cameras.

    • efoveks

      A paying gig? This is great news! Congrats on the new jerb! :) :) :) :) :D

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        nah, same one i’ve had for years – but i work like 1 day a week, so poor.

        But thanks anyway, hopefully a real one soon!

  • RJ (TO)

    “…isn’t grabbing a handful of box usually Donald Trump’s thing?”

    Oh sweet baby jesus in heaven that made me laugh.

  • goonemeritus

    If I wasn’t so consumed with self pity I swear I would feel sorry for our new first lady. Not that I haven’t embarrassed my wife from time to time but compared to Melania my wife has no reason to bitch.

    • C4TWOMAN

      I do feel for her. She didn’t ask to be part of a political dumpster fire when she became a trophy wife. But I also think she has enough means to take care of herself. She’s probably been planning her escape for some time…

      • goonemeritus

        The best a First Lady can do in this country is try to lead a somewhat private life. After all this isn’t France.

  • C4TWOMAN

    TRUMP: Who is this strange woman following me? A Democrat spy? She shadows me everywhere. And look! She’s given the Obamas something! It’s a plot I tell you!
    AID: That’s your wife, sir.
    TRUMP: My wife is a Democrat spy? Arrest her immediately!
    AID: “…”

  • Nounverb911

    Oh look! Guess who isn’t taking your phone calls anymore.
    https://twitter.com/carolynlochhead/status/823587747000680448

    • BosGrl

      Probably too no more “Big Block of Cheese Day”.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Low energy, sad, pathetic, weak.

    • Treg Brown

      Can’t wait to see how this easily flustered asshole handles his 1st international crisis.

      Bury his phone in the sock drawer and hide in the bathroom?

      • Edith Prickly

        I picture Trump sitting in his NY place telling Mike Pence to handle it – and Mike Pence finally losing his shit and cursing Trump out like a drunken sailor. “Get your motherfucking lazy ass down here, you cheeto-faced spawn of Satan!! I quit!!”

    • Amelia

      He fucks international women’s health care and then cuts off public opinion.

      The real question is, was it his call or the babysitters protecting him from criticism?

    • NastyBossetti

      They stole this move from Pat Toomey’s office! Except they didn’t even direct anyone to make comments elsewhere. They just locked the doors and stopped answering the phones.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Same with Paul Ryan. Sign on the door – By Appointment Only.

    • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn
      • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

        **SNORK!**

  • I sort of grudgingly like Melania (sorry, “Melon”) Trump, who seems like she did not sign up for any of this crazy shit and is absolutely not on board with it. I do think it’s weird that I know what a First Lady’s tits look like, but that’s not really on her.

    • jowgajen

      The official Trumpian line is that Melania encouraged him to run. I can’t remember where I read it … but she’s quoted as saying something like “They are ready for you now Donald.”

      • If the official Trump party line was “Water: it is wet”, I would be skeptical and demand multiple sources.

      • C4TWOMAN

        Someone has been watching too many political thrillers….

      • An Outhouse for the Resistance

        I believe she was looking for a way to get him the hell out of the tower.

        • I do think it’s interesting that she doesn’t immediately want to move into the WH, which you think she would if he was some Lady Macbeth lusting after secondhand power.

          Another reason I feel for her is the more-or-less official scuttlebutt that Trump didn’t want a kid and she basically went ahead and got knocked up anyway. Whether this was out of a genuine longing for offspring, a bargaining chip for whenever Trump tries to trade her in for newer and shinier Eastern European arm candy, or some combination of the two, I don’t know, but I still kind of admire her for it.

          • jowgajen

            Yes, we tend to infantilize her, and I see #freemelania as no different. We have no evidence that she is not exactly where she has chosen to be.

          • And that place is alone in Trump Tower, just her and Barron and Barron’s gold-plated rocking horse.

          • nightmoth

            She looks miserable, but what you say is food for thought. She may well be congratulating herself.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender
          • Paul Dietzel

            “I’ll buy some if you guarantee they’re made out of real Girl Scouts”

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Brings to mind a This American Life ep from several years ago, as I recall this guy in NYC was learning Russian and someone in his study group set him up on a blind date with a Russian woman. He thought she hated him because she spent the whole time scowling and saying judgmental things about where he took her. The mutual friend asked him a week or so later why he never called Russian lady for a second date, because she had had a great time with him and thought the date went amazingly well.
            (I know Melon is not Russian, but to make a YOOGE generalization, the Slavic guys I’ve canoodled with have been similarly afflicted with resting bitch face (I commiserate) and their sense of humor is not what the average American is used to.) So yes, she might be beaming with joy in these pics.

          • Power she does not seem to want. Money and a comfortable life for her AND her family (not just Barron) that there is the ticket

          • Paul Dietzel

            “I love you honey, but give me Park Avenue”

          • Edith Prickly

            I’m starting to think it’s Trump who doesn’t want Melania around the White House. He wants her at home with the other decorative furniture while his oldest daughter plays his wife in Washington. (Gross I know, I hate even thinking about that relationship…)

      • Latverian Diplomat

        “Yes, Donald, please run for the most stressful political office in the world, no matter what the doctor’s say. Your 70-year-old fat guy’s heart can take it.”
        — Melania

        • eka

          so she thought he’d actually take it seriously?

          • Latverian Diplomat

            The thing about Trump is, that even without actually doing any work, he’s so thin skinned that the normal political discourse will stress him the fuck out. He hit the roof just over the Inuaguration crowd size; imagine his first G20 when everyone but Putin slyly snubs the fuck out of him.

          • eka

            Very true: he may not take the actual important work seriously, but he will be insulted over and over for as long as he lasts.

            But no matter how it ends – impeachment, resignation or death (which I am not hoping for btw I do not wish anyone harm) – we’re stuck with Pence. So the next four years are dark as hell any way you look at it.

          • chortlingdingo

            Pence is definitely Lawful Evil.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Donald, is time for run for President. Because if you die before are President, I lose Russian pension.

      • I call bs. He surrounds himself with yes men who likely talked him in with it, and Melly being a yes girl or else, probably just said sure, go for it. If anything at all

        • puredog

          I find it questionable as to whether she was even asked.

    • Last Hussar

      Glenda Jackson used to be an actress, and has done nude scenes, and is now a British MP. It was in the 70s thus Trump hasn’t got the first pubic hair to make it into politics

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Clarence Thomas Libelz!!111!

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      I was meh until she complained about Julia Ioffe’s well researched profile, that revealed more than Melania wanted to deal with. The trolls and Trumpanzees stalked and pushed Julia so hard because she’s also Jewish, that the woman lost her cool and lost her job. She easily found a new job. Melania said that she did not feel sorry for Julia because nasty woman. The Jewish press has vilified Melania.
      https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2016/apr/28/julia-ioffe-journalist-melania-trump-antisemitic-abuse

    • Jennifer R

      Nancy Reagan was once known as “The Hollywood Blowjob Queen”. So it is not totally without precedent.

      • H0mer0

        [or without president, nyuk nyuk]

  • SayItWithWookies

    I’m just impressed Assmouth didn’t hand his luggage to the nice black man at the door.

    • RJ (TO)

      I want to upvote that line 100 times but don’t know how.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Easy, it just takes 99 downvotes.

        • RJ (TO)

          I guess that would be easier than creating 99 other sock accounts…

          • MynameisBlarney

            Yeah prolly.

    • Lance K

      You just made the next 4 years tolerable. Thanks

    • Beanz&Berryz

      It’s only because Assmouth expected the nice black man to get the luggage his own damn self…

  • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

    In the blue box, under whatever gewgaw she gave them, a hastily-scribbled note: “Please help me- I cannot do this!”

  • Mavenmaven

    Their marriage won’t survive his term in office. He’s president and believes that as the star he is allowed to grab anything he wants.

  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

    In that last pic, he looks like a caucasian toad with horrible posture.

    • marxalot

      He sure doesn’t look like a guy who likes winning.

    • BigBoppa ~ Résistant

      Not just that picture. He looks like that in AOT, K.

    • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn
      • Jennifer R

        ALL HAIL HYPNOTOAD.

      • suziq

        Is this the toad or the trump?

        • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

          Yes.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        If that’s not a shop-job, it is UNCANNY.

        • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

          An albino toad. It happens, it seems.

      • H0mer0

        kinda cute.
        DAMMIT, you guys are distracting me from my work!

  • BigBoppa ~ Résistant

    Sorry about going OT but I just saw this and have to share. I don’t know which city this is from but it’s supposed to be from last Saturday.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5256a7416c36eae81835fcf439d69fd1f63ba33fd5398d772c03aab13f4137f2.jpg

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Sweet baby made her own sign – that is so precious!!!

      • BigBoppa ~ Résistant

        I love the cupcake hat.

        • Last Hussar

          Donna Rose is going to be SOOOO jealous!

          • House0fTheBlueLights

            If Donna Rose wasn’t making signs, I’ll eat that cupcake hat. That child filled two 200-page blank notebooks with art in the approximately 36 hours she was in my house.

      • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

        It says, “This Baby Kills Fascists”.

    • Kiri the Resistant Unicorn

      Babbies Against Trump!

    • CindyinEncinitas

      This is my favorite sign from the march. Below is my second favorite. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7afaed8bb49f32794e64acfcfabfe22e0d346b8904ecf16415ae11e69af66914.png

    • alpacapunchbowl

      This is my favorite as well. In an entirely different way, the Buscemi photo made me smile also too.
      https://mobile.twitter.com/MrMattRobinson/status/822968152359211008/photo/1

    • OH HELL NO He’s Not – Holly

      That adorababby is on her daddy’s shoulders in Charlotte, NC.

    • LK312

      That march was in Charlotte, NC (you can verify by the sign on the apt building behind it).

      I so want one of those cupcake hats!!

      • BigBoppa ~ Résistant

        Thanks. I was going to google that but got sidetracked by the “Brandi” post on Wonkette.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    I’ve already seen FB posts where some asshole photoshopped the president’s hand down onto Melania’s ass. You know, the REAL president, the last one.

    • chicken thief

      If true it would be the first time in years that a man has touched her ass.

  • Serai 1

    I’d accept the idea that he went ahead to hold the door open if he HADN’T abandoned Melania when he got out of the car. As it is, I think some tiny bit of decorum took hold at the last second and made him turn around to be sure the women were okay. Pretty fucking tiny, but that’s what I think happened there.

    • Erala Contratista

      Nah.
      But it is nice of you think so.

      • Serai 1

        Well, since none of us was actually in the guy’s brain at the moment that happened, I think I’ll keep my view, thanks.

        • I was there. It was weak. Smallest brain I ever occupied. Smaller than those tiny hands. Some are saying it. Sad.

        • Alan

          There would have been plenty of room.

  • dluch

    with Don’s new gig, he *should* be able to upgrade to a new wife…

    • BigBoppa ~ Résistant

      He’s waiting until after he signs an executive order making it legal to marry your daughter.

      • Tetsu Kaba

        She’s getting too old for him, too. Although for a narcissist it’d be the next best thing to marrying yourself

    • chortlingdingo

      I wonder what the “party of family values” will have to say when he divorces Melania to marry a shiny, new twenty-something from Russia while in office.

      • dluch

        ez…’Jesus wanted it that way’ and they’d all turn out for the wedding!

    • puredog

      Tami’d be perfect and would probably jump at the chance.

      • dluch

        hmmm… who is this ‘Tami’ you speak of – and how much?

  • Reality Kills

    We all know that for the rabid yam his wife is just a piece of meat.

    • Alan

      We’ve known that for a long time.

      • Alternative Pony Ron

        Since wife 1, really.

  • azeyote

    i would guess that high expectations for a first lady have just left the building –

  • WiscoJoe

    Dilemma: It’d be nice to say nice things about Melania, like it’s always nice to superficially support the First Lady no matter the political party. But I also get the impression that Melania doesn’t exactly what to be involved with any of this and would prefer to just be ignored completely. So… do we just not talk about the First Lady at all?

    • Bitter Scribe

      Works for me.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Support her lawyer who is currently working like a dog to figure out how to extricate her without invoking the pre-nup.

      • Martini Ambassador

        LOL, probably true.

    • I think that is what all the “Ivanka will take over first lady duties!!!” thing was about.
      Melly, even as third wife, is not a Trump so therefore, second fiddle

      • Alan

        Ewww.

    • Alan

      We offer sympathy. She looks very unhappy.

      • puredog

        Even so, she doesn’t look half as unhappy as Barron.

  • Nasty Candy Apple

    What’s in the Tiffany’s box?

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Napkins and a smuggled note from the hostages.

    • Alan

      A note that said “please take me with you”.

    • M.E. Lawrence

      A nice photo of Malia and Sasha on the White House lawn, behind which is a carefully concealed photo of the schmuck with frolicking Olgas and Oksanas. Tiny flash drives containing his medical records and income returns from the last 20 years are tucked into the frame.

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea
  • Resistance Fighter Astraea

    Trump will look at a multitude of statistics, especially statistics made up on Breitbart.

  • Alan

    My wife sits in the car until I walk around, open the door, and offer a hand.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      My beloved keeps trying to do that for me, even though I’m not used to it, so I’ve worked out a compromise – I unbuckle my seat belt and pick up my pocketbook slowly, then open the door, by which time he’s there to help me out of the car… and then I get to smooch him.

  • Erala Contratista

    A good friend & I got the giggles Friday watching this meet and greet. We discovered our eyes were glued to Donnie’s tiny hands and were watching their every move. It was such a natural thing to do. Then she turned on the weather radar so we could follow the flooding that took up most of Friday in NorCal.

    • H0mer0

      you guys FINALLY got rain?

  • The Other Tim

    The problem with Michelle’s side-eye reaction to the box being sold as a awkward, like Melania had done something wrong, is that Michelle is carrying a box in the side-by-side video of when her husband had the courtesy to wait for her.
    If this is some tradition, she should not have been surprised by the box.

    • OH HELL NO He’s Not – Holly

      Michelle had to endure a kiss from the Orange Cheeto just before the handover of the present. I’m surprised all she did was give a side-eye and wasn’t projectile vomiting. That’s what Grace Under Fire looks like.

      • dluch

        can you imagine Trump’s putrid vodka breath pressing onto your face – any sane person would be revolted

    • Vienna Woods

      And, in fact, she did exactly the same thing in 2009.

    • Stulexington

      Actually I think she’s reacting to his attempt to cut her off, putting his body between her and the rest of the group.

  • ellie_lite
  • beejeez

    Why can’t she be more cheerful about handing the country over to a fascist?

  • ellie_lite
    • chicken thief

      If I wasn’t already missing the Obama’s… yet another reminder of how classy they were.

      Even the Secret Service dude is looking for Melania.

    • M.E. Lawrence

      See that? Michelle came bearing a gift, too, so presumably this is a FLOTUS-type tradition. Awkward, though–you should really get a liveried footman to deliver the gift a few days later.

  • gene108

    That was the most weak as salute I’ve ever seen, Donald. What you gave the Marine was the most pathetic weak excuse for a salute in human history.

    I wish cable news would give us 24/7 coverage of how disrespectful it was, because my god it was pathetic.

    • Sandy Beaches

      I don’t think they’ve recovered from that time Obama had a coffee cup in his hand when he saluted.

  • chortlingdingo

    Trump really is the most miserable looking cuss.

    • Alternative Pony Ron

      Is it too much to hope that his blackened soul is finally becoming burdensome to him?

      • Mr Canoehead

        Yes

  • Bill Slider

    Question, when Donald Trump makes love to his truly beautiful wife, does he play his Frank Sinatra favorite, I Did iIt My Way?

    • Peripatetic Poltroon

      I’m gonna go with “Another One Rides the Bus”

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        *meow*

    • blueeyedcuban

      He can do anything he wants in bed, as long as he doesn’t wake her…

    • H0mer0

      Not “just what makes that little ant….?”

  • Peripatetic Poltroon

    Pfft. The Obamas were just going to push her over & then thought better. As for the lunch, I wouldn’t be happy either with a pile of roses to eat. Ick.

  • The more I see of Melania the more I pity her. She looks like a hostage in the pic above.

    • puredog

      made bed lie in same

      • True, part of me feels that way too. However, the other part of me is thinking ‘stockholm syndrome’.

        • clairence

          Russian handler. I keep tellin’ y’all.

          • mfp

            absolutely…part of the putin plan, been saying it for months

        • in the name of the moon

          yeah she has a look of someone in a very bad relationship. She always stares off into the middle distance with him and looks miserable. Definitely something weird going on here.

          • Cucker “Dick” Tarlson

            I think she may be a physically and emotionally abused spouse. I can see shitgibbon as an abuser — he was when he was married to Ivana. In Melania’s case, I think it’s possible that the only reason she remains with him is to protect her son. Barron may indeed be a special needs child, and I think shitgibbon is not above abusing a “defective” kid. He may have threatened to attack her with an army of lawyers to gain custody of Barron if she tries to leave with him because he’s that vindictive. Also, her prenup may force her to give custody of any of their children if she files for divorce. As a non-native English speaker, he may have intentionally lied about the prenup’s details.

            Since the start of the campaign, she’s appeared heavily medicated and unhappy. Shitgibbon may have forced her to stay in NYC because she would only get in Ivanka’s way and be an awkard liability.

            There’s likely much more to this story.

          • LaylaOhGee

            When other people (outside the family) speak to her, she smiles at them. Sometimes the smile looks grateful, but still sad, like she’s glad for nonTrump human contact.

      • JustDon’tSayPeePee

        Yup. If we have to put up with him, then she does, too.

      • JParkerSD46

        Must agree. She saw the golden ring (brass is so gauche), signed the deal with the devil, aka Pre-Nup/NDA, and grabbed it. Now she’s really locked in for the next four years or until the guilty verdict in the impeachment trial. Sorry Lovie, you went in with both eyes open. Hopefully, you’ve got Michelle’s number. I’ll bet you can call anytime for moral support.

  • whitroth

    I saw multiple people at the March with signs reading something to the effect of “Melania – if you’re being held hostage, blink once…”

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Not in Atlanta.

    • MyLovelyNose

      There were Free Melania signs in Saint Louis.

  • boredcatlady

    I think it looks like something is strapped to her right thigh in the top pic. Are we conspiracy speculating yet? Could it be a medical device live the one HRC was supposed to be sporting? Is it her shock collar (shock garter?) or her tiny FSB-supplied gun? Is it her battery? Is it the control for Donald’s shock collar? Is it a strange drape of fabric? Who knows? People are saying it’s unusual.

    • chicken thief

      It’s about the size and shape of Vincent’s kit. I mean, I’m not saying that she is riding the horse, but it could be a spike and spoon in a cool Amsterdam kit under there.

      • clairence

        I have no idea what any of those terms refer to.

        • OppressedMass

          Me either. And I don’t WANT to know, Mr Chickenthief!

    • clairence

      hey, what’re ya doin’ lookin’ at the lady’s legs?! Eyes up here, people. Eyes up here….

      it kind of looks to me like, well, a lot of things. And yes, people ARE saying that…

    • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

      It’s the battery pack and control for her vibrator.

      http://www.adameve.com/adult-sex-toys/vibrators/bullet-eggs-c-1051.aspx

  • dluch

    he only did what the majority of his azz-hat supporters do everyday

  • Longstreet63

    Those foreign-born trans people all stick together, you know.
    Ooops–I’ve said too much…

  • Alternative Pony Ron

    It’s actually kind of impressive, in its way: the man-baby manages to find new ways of being a complete douchebag every single day. Few people in this world are so committed to being so awful in so many ways.

  • canes_pugnaces

    The man has no manners (adding to the list of attributes he’s missing (like normally sized hands and a conscience)). I almost feel sorry for Melon, but then I remember: she married him, lied about her education, and plagiarized he first black first ladies speech. Then I don’t feel so sorry for her and I think they just might deserve each other.

  • smitallica

    I like how all the commentators went out of their way to say how lovely Melania looked (and she did). As if looking good in expensive, custom-tailored designer clothes and professionally done makeup was some huge accomplishment for a supermodel trophy wife.

    • Sister Artemis

      maybe it was their version of how we post kitten pictures when we’re very sad? maybe?

    • Marceline

      I chafe against calling a supermodel. She’s a generic model. Nothing super about her.

  • Randy Riddle

    I can’t stand to see the guy on the tee vees for more than two minutes. I can’t imagine what it would be like to live under the same roof with him.

  • CATMAN

    Melania is 46, so she is well past trade-in time for trophy wives

    • Jeffocaster in the desert

      Then again Jabba the Trump is no catch either, even if his tiny penis is gold plated.

      • CATMAN

        A high net worth can make an older man much more attractive than he really is plus she can think about the size of the divorce settlement to distract her while he’s getting his rocks off

        • Nodrama4mama

          She probably signed an iron clad pre-nup and is getting bupkes. Her best bet is making his sammiches with extra lard and pretending to sleep through the eventual coronary and not call for help in time, with votes.

  • Jan Ness

    I know many ppl who are waaaay classier than Trump. Civility and caring for others is lost on him.

  • Paperless Tiger

    Boris and Natasha don’t look too happy with lunch.

    “Vhat? No pancakes?”

  • SnarkON

    Melanie’s breasts look weirdly uneven, like the surgeon placed one of them too low.

    • M.E. Lawrence

      Breasts, like many parts of the human body, do not tend to perfect symmetry. I try to avoid anatomizing other women in this way, even if they’re married to creeps. I feel the same way re. all the snark about the schmuck’s penis size. (Their actions, though, are fair game, and then some.)

      • SnarkON

        Hey, thanks for breastsplaining to me. I have a pair myself. Melania’s aren’t breasts; they’re gigantic globs of silicone, and therefore one hundred percent subject to derision.

  • cocktailsat5

    T’was a terribly awkward gift-giving moment between the first ladies and I’d heard it said that was because Melanoma was actually trying to re-gift Michelle’s speech in a Tiffany’s box.

  • BreakingDeadMen

    Trump is so awful, he’s starting to make me feel sympathetic to his wife.

  • unclejeems

    OK, so my opinion of Melana isn’t that high. Dolly Madison she ain’t, and she doesn’t hold a candle to even Mamie Eisenhower. But Jesus, look at that last photograph. She knows she’s trapped in a marriage with a baby-man who’ll try to screw other women, but the whole country as well. For her, four years is going to be an effing eternity.

    • SnarkON

      It’s called divorce, and millions of people do it.

      • evodevo

        You don’t divorce The Donald and live to tell it …

        • SnarkON

          Ivana and Marla would beg to differ.

  • theblackdog

    No wonder Melania wanted to just stay in NYC. She’s probably used to doing stuff on her own anyway because Cheeto Hitler ignores her

    • SnarkON

      To be fair,she seems insufferably boring.

  • Pat_Pending

    That… dress. With the jacket cover it’s cute; without, it looks like a scuba dry suit from the waist up.

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