Feeling really bad about myself today. Feeling worthless and depressed. Why? Simple: I have no woman in my life. I have not been with a woman in over a year and I have only been with a woman once in the past three years. I have not been in a relationship with a woman in over three years.
Why on earth would I feel bad about this, you may ask. Again, it's simple; animal instinct. I know that my rational mind tells me to avoid romantic, sexual or committed relationships with women but my primitive animal instinct keeps rearing it's ugly head and telling me that I am basically a loser beta cuck for failing to attract any females with which to mate over the last three years.
I know why too. Two reasons; first I don't make enough money, am not of a high enough social rank (my job is not prestigious enough) and do not have the kind of material possessions that attracts the primitive female brain that is looking for a beta provider. The second is that I am somewhat overweight. Not grotesquely but slightly.
Other men of similar financial status and social rank and of similar or even inferior physique may have women but I don't.
This troubles me, even though my rational mind tells me it should not. It keeps me awake at night. It distracts me during the day. I find it a challenge to focus on improving my life because I am fixated on the anxiety of being a genetic failure by failing to find females to mate with.
I am kind of torn between MGTOW and red pill. Both are about empowering men but MGTOW seems to be based on the idea that we men should not define ourselves or determine the value of our own existence according to the relationships we have with women. We should be free from women and reject them in order to find self empowerment and true happiness. It's very Epicurean and I like it but at the same time I am still overwhelmed by my primitive animal instinct and the motivation to mate and procreate.
Just wanted to share this. It's a constant struggle. Some days it's easier than others. Today it's pretty difficult. I get depressed when I let my primitive instinct tell me that I am basically a waste of human life because I continue to fail to find a mate.
Gotta rise above that shit.
Thoughts?
[–]Folwart 0 ポイント1 ポイント2 ポイント (0子コメント)
[–]day01x 0 ポイント1 ポイント2 ポイント (0子コメント)