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When is it reasonable to expect the person you are dating to take down their profile? (self.OkCupid)

sta4reddit が 投稿

After how many dates is it reasonable to expect them to disable their profile? We have been on 2 dates so far. We got naked on the 2ND date although no sex. Our 3Rd date is supposed to be tomorrow. I told him I don't want to see him anymore because he is still online. He said he is taking he relationship slow but he was really looking forward to seeing me tomorrow and he likes me. I have already told him I am saving myself for my future partner and I don't have oral sex for fear of diseases. So we had already agreed to a no penetration no oral sex relationship. Also I told him I like to date one person at a time and he said that is unrealistic this early in the dating process. I have disabled my profile for sometime now. I feel he might be shopping for a bigger better deal.

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[–]Logos1000 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Pretty much right after you explicitly talk to each other about entering an exclusive relationship.

[–]smokeycoughlinthe saltiest cougar 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (3子コメント)

no number. what did they say when you told them you took yours down?

[–]staaamosEven my cancer is adorable 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (2子コメント)

I think this kind of stuff is the reason so many people are alone. Spending so much emotional energy on things that shouldn't matter; it's never a good look. Can't anyone just be happy that someone wants to be with them? Requiring these acts of fealty is so self-destructive.

[–]smokeycoughlinthe saltiest cougar 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (1子コメント)

I don't disagree but some people are going to find it important. I think the big run into trouble is expecting the other person to just do the thing you want them to do in the exact amount of time you want them to do it in without ever expressing that it's something you want them to do and not necessarily doing the same thing first.

I've seen women say they expect a man to do this thing by this date or he doesn't see them as a priority. how was he supposed to guess to do the thing? how was he supposed to know your timeline for it? I'm sure men have their own versions of it but if they've said it where I can see, it didn't register.

[–]staaamosEven my cancer is adorable 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I know people find it important. But finding it important is a turn off to a lot of people. I get it but I also think people are far more rigid than they need. Loving someone means trusting them, even when they do things or don't do things in what you think is a timely manner.

[–]bitternmanger28/M/Sweet Dreams, TN 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Depends entirely on the relationship and what you expect from each other.

[–]Minelucious 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'd say 4 - 10, but it varies greatly from one person to another. This isn't really something you can quantify.

[–]lemonlife0524drakey with a cakey 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

The morning after I met him and it wasn't even a date so -1 dates is when i expected it

[–]smokeycoughlinthe saltiest cougar 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

to your edit: two dates would be too soon for me to go exclusive with someone. especially if we hadn't even had sex yet. I might stop seeing other people but I wouldn't expect them to. I don't know them well enough by then to know I only want to see them for the foreseeable future and couldn't expect them to. unless those dates were like a week or month long.

[–]kimbylouwho 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Assume people are seeing others until you discuss exclusivity, even if that's not your particular dating style. If exclusivity is important to you at this stage, than talk to him about it on the third date. Let him know what you're feeling, listen to him, and go from there.

[–]smokeycoughlinthe saltiest cougar 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (3子コメント)

to your next edit: good luck.

[–]sta4reddit[S] 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (2子コメント)

Why goodluck? Am I being unreasonable?

[–]smokeycoughlinthe saltiest cougar 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (1子コメント)

I wouldn't say that. I'm not trying to be snarky with my "good luck" either but depending on where you are, you're possibly going to be looking for something that isn't super common so it's going to be hard for you.

however, since you ignored my other comments, you're making it even harder by turning away a man who's expressed that he likes you and is OK with your sexual preferences because he didn't guess that you wanted him to do something at a certain time. he's being understanding of what you want, the least you could do is try to understand him.

[–]sta4reddit[S] 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yes you are right. He texted me that lets keep our date tomorrow and we can walk around the mall and talk and discuss. I agreed. I will try to be understanding.

[–]Used-Car-Salesman27/M/Indiana 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (8子コメント)

So we had already agreed to a no penetration no oral sex relationship.

If you took all sex off the table, the answer is "never".

[–]sta4reddit[S] 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (7子コメント)

Not all sex I agreed to mutually pleasure each other with our hands and that is what we did on the last date

[–]Used-Car-Salesman27/M/Indiana 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (6子コメント)

Are you 14?

[–]sta4reddit[S] 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (5子コメント)

Lol no I am 32

[–]Used-Car-Salesman27/M/Indiana 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (4子コメント)

For real, get over your puritanical hangups and use a condom.

[–]sta4reddit[S] -1 ポイント0 ポイント  (3子コメント)

No thank you. I want to keep myself tight for my future life partner in as pristine condition as possible

[–]Used-Car-Salesman27/M/Indiana 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

...not sure if sarcasm.

If you're serious, you have some real issues. Your vagina is not Laffy Taffy.

[–]Ukelele-in-the-rain 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (1子コメント)

But...but.. that's not how vaginas work...

[–]sta4reddit[S] -1 ポイント0 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I am also saving myself as a romantic gesture. I guess most of today's women are sluts so it is inconceivable

[–]Cam_Fan1997Dipset, bitch. -4 ポイント-3 ポイント  (1子コメント)

no sex

The Slut Arms Race happened, and sluts won. You didn't put out, so he's back on that pimp grind back on his pimp shit like a playa pimp. Doin pimp thangs. Big thangs. Naamsayin. DIPSET