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TIL an estimated 1 in 4 Alabamans are functionally illiterate, meaning they're unable to manage daily living and employment tasks that require reading skills beyond a basic level (uab.edu)

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[–]dustednuggets 3769 ポイント3770 ポイント  (376子コメント)

Im really late to the party... When I went to jail because I had a warrent in another state I didn't know about, tons of people were illiterate. I didn't know that was a thing. A good guy I was in with asked me to read his mail one time. It was because he couldn't read. When people found out I could read I had to set aside a few hours a day to read some people the mail they had been getting.

[–]StaplerTwelve 2065 ポイント2066 ポイント  (222子コメント)

That is pretty heartbreaking. Reading is one of the most basic and important things a child should be taught. And they weren't.

[–]dustednuggets 968 ポイント969 ポイント  (201子コメント)

It was. It puts a lot into perspective. What options do you really have if you never been taught to read?

[–]Alan_Smithee_ 427 ポイント428 ポイント  (160子コメント)

Back in the day, carrying a gun for your country. The cynic in me thinks that many of the powerful like to keep a crop of the disempowered and ignorant.

What's going to happen in the poorer areas with these 'school vouchers,' if that comes to pass?

[–]killinrin 188 ポイント189 ポイント  (74子コメント)

I actually have some second cousins who live in Alabama who have worked with illiterate populations in the past. It seemed that a lot of them lived within less than a 5 mile bubble and a lot seemed to be mechanically inclined.

[–]TheFighting5th 80 ポイント81 ポイント  (71子コメント)

a lot seemed to be mechanically inclined.

That's super interesting to me. Do you mind elaborating on that?

[–]killinrin 196 ポイント197 ポイント  (37子コメント)

Like they could disassemble a carburetor and put it back together in record time. They would do more blue collar work for a living typically, like forklift repair or AC repair

[–]Grave_Salad 47 ポイント48 ポイント  (14子コメント)

If I couldn't read, I'd tinker a lot too. Engines and mechanical stuff is really easy to be shown how to do because a lot of the time it's memorization of shapes and allows (to a degree) trial and error. I'm not saying to by any means that these people weren't good, but more that being illiterate narrows your options to these areas.

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    [–]Ginnipe 108 ポイント109 ポイント  (23子コメント)

    Not op, but what the fuck else are you going to do if you can't read?

    You don't need to read to learn basic or even moderately complex systems. Meaning that these people would probably be increasingly smart if they had the opportunity to learn to read since they're naturally being drawn to learning and understanding rather than say strict manual labor which requires nearly no thought. It's a fucking shame it really is.

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        [–]FlybyMed 71 ポイント72 ポイント  (29子コメント)

        Back in the day, carrying a gun for your country. The cynic in me thinks that many of the powerful like to keep a crop of the disempowered and ignorant.

        You can't pass a military entrance test without a basic high school education, which is way beyond just being able to read.

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              [–]launcher87 581 ポイント582 ポイント  (60子コメント)

              who sends mail to a guy that cant read? thats just mean.

              [–]dustednuggets 298 ポイント299 ポイント  (41子コメント)

              I don't know if people didn't know they couldn't read. Some guys could recognize words and phrases so they would "read" the newspaper everyday. It was really just glancing at the sports scores and stuff. I wouldn't have know if they didn't ask me.

              [–]EmeraldIbis 86 ポイント87 ポイント  (32子コメント)

              I'm surprised people don't just pick up reading over time considering how much text is everywhere in the modern age. I guess you need a starting point though before that'll work.

              [–]dustednuggets 59 ポイント60 ポイント  (14子コメント)

              That's very intuitive. A lot of the guys that were illiterate could recognize some words. I mentioned in another reply that one dude "read" the newspaper everyday. He just looked at pictures and got the sports scores and stuff.

              [–]asuddenpie 116 ポイント117 ポイント  (13子コメント)

              I believe that's called functional illiteracy. They can "read" enough to get by with daily life given enough context, but they are not fully literate. It's a phase people go through when they go to a new country and don't speak the language. They can piece things together and start recognizing important information, but they are not fully literate in the language.

              [–]Ishana92 14 ポイント15 ポイント  (5子コメント)

              that's my long time status with french. I can see a news article and get the main point, but really reading and writing something, nevermind speaking it is beyond me.

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                      [–]busyfistingmyself 110 ポイント111 ポイント  (5子コメント)

                      Like in Life when Martin Lawrence reads a guys letter and like a ton of his relatives had died and everything at home was awful?

                      "Anyone else want their letters read?"

                      guys look away, shake heads

                      Edit: Eddie read the letter, not Martin, my b.

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                        [–]youmustwait9mins 7265 ポイント7266 ポイント  (1412子コメント)

                        http://detroit.cbslocal.com/2011/05/04/report-nearly-half-of-detroiters-cant-read/

                        Detroit city has an illiteracy rate of 47%. Fuckin crazy

                        [–]BlasiFeelsSwift 2290 ポイント2291 ポイント  (387子コメント)

                        Holy fuck that's insane.

                        [–]Beard_o_Bees 1366 ポイント1367 ポイント  (363子コメント)

                        Just....Just how?!?!? 47%???

                        [–]schmidttingthebed 886 ポイント887 ポイント  (210子コメント)

                        Detroit public schools have a lot of corruption, and nobody cares about them on a state level. I believe they recently tried to sue the state of Michigan regarding the high illiteracy levels, and were told that literacy is not a right. I don't really know how they are supposed to get ahead, they have corrupt people that steal money from the schools that cause the schools to be in very shit condition, and then the state does not care to give money to save them

                        [–]Myspacecutie69 1385 ポイント1386 ポイント  (53子コメント)

                        Things seemed to go downhill since Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho was appointed Mayor

                        [–]jta82 265 ポイント266 ポイント  (14子コメント)

                        Be that as it may, but he did have a solution to the shortages of french fries and burrito coverings.

                        [–]LouHoltzSexTape 106 ポイント107 ポイント  (5子コメント)

                        Brawndo has electrolytes, it's got what Detroit craves!

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                              [–]pilguy 1471 ポイント1472 ポイント  (403子コメント)

                              The poorest and least educated often have the least labor mobility. As a result, we typically see highest education rates in growing economies and the lowest education rates in stagnant or shrinking economies.

                              Basically, if you had a choice to leave, you would have left a long time ago. The people without a choice are often poor or uneducated.

                              [–]illpetyourcat 702 ポイント703 ポイント  (118子コメント)

                              I'm from rural Alabama. Most people choose to stay because they will 1. Miss their families 2. Don't have the money to go to school 3. End up on drugs 4. Find a job near (within an hour of driving) them and settle. I tried and tried to convince my friends to leave after I did. 4 of them are dead, 2 alive and on drugs, the last one is recovering from his addiction and in welding school. There is a culture in those areas that even looks down on people that move away. The education administration doesn't do much to make a difference either, no one tells you what life is like in other places, and people who know a little but don't believe they CAN ever do anything differently than what their family members did.

                              [–]ApologiesForThisPost 353 ポイント354 ポイント  (33子コメント)

                              There is a culture in those areas that even looks down on people that move away

                              This reminds me of the Crab bucket metaphor from Discworld. If anyone tries to escape, others in the same situation drag them back down. You don't have to put a lid on, they'll keep each other down.

                              [–]Taxonomy2016 81 ポイント82 ポイント  (1子コメント)

                              There is a culture in those areas that even looks down on people that move away. The education administration doesn't do much to make a difference either, no one tells you what life is like in other places, and people who know a little but don't believe they CAN ever do anything differently than what their family members did.

                              That there is a telltale sign that the vicious circle/downward spiral has become a steep and powerful vortex.

                              [–]hoediddley 86 ポイント87 ポイント  (14子コメント)

                              I should be extra nice to people that come from Alabama.

                              [–]summerwasting 129 ポイント130 ポイント  (25子コメント)

                              FROM ALABAMA, can confirm this to be true. Just had a talk with a friend today and he said he was scared to move because other places are so expensive. But really, there is absolutely nothing here and there really isn't even money to be made here. So the fear of expense is really just a fear of getting out of the comfort zone.

                              A lot of my friends have moved away and I also did for many years. I only returned to be close to family after having my child and to finish school. I graduate in May and moving to a larger city in a liberal state in June. Can't wait to get out!

                              edited because i forgot my friend did live outside of this city for a while.

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                                [–]maimsy 104 ポイント105 ポイント  (24子コメント)

                                Yep. Arkansan here. People often speak about or perpetuate the stereotypes of the American south (poor, dumb, hickish, behind the times) as if those in the south a) are all that way without question, and b) actually choose to be that way, when in reality, it's all a vicious circle. If you manage to break it, awesome, but it's not like people think; people love to talk about movies like The Pursuit of Happyness and ask why "people don't just do that," but if success stories like Chris Gardner's were a dime a dozen, he wouldn't have a film made about him and we wouldn't have much of a poverty problem, would we?

                                [–]1337syntaX 16 ポイント17 ポイント  (11子コメント)

                                New Yorker here. I went to Birmingham, AL last year for work and for every stereotype I saw confirmed, two of them were shattered. It gave me a completely different perspective of the south.

                                Unfortunately the stereotypes work both ways. I believe if people actually experienced the other side they would have more empathy and there wouldn't be as much of a divide between Dem vs Republican/Urban vs Rural that we see in this country.

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                                  [–]Finger11Fan 1061 ポイント1062 ポイント  (178子コメント)

                                  The poorest and least educated often have the least labor mobility.

                                  Absolutely. It pisses me off whenever anyone talks about the Flint water crises and someone says "why don't the people just leave Flint?" as if the people there are choosing to drink poisoned water rather than up and leaving.

                                  If people had the option to move out of Flint, they would.

                                  [–]IAmNotRyan 651 ポイント652 ポイント  (78子コメント)

                                  And they have. Flint's population has dropped by half since the '70's. All that's left of Flint's population are the absolute most destitute people who's meager taxes can't even afford to keep traffic lights on, which is why the city is stuck in a downward spiral.

                                  EDIT: "Flont"

                                  [–]damian001 178 ポイント179 ポイント  (30子コメント)

                                  Yeah its nothing new. I'm pretty sure one of the ingame scenarios in SimCity 2000 was based on Flint and trying to keep the population happy so they wont leave.

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                                        [–]captincook 1208 ポイント1209 ポイント  (100子コメント)

                                        Detrit vs. everybody

                                        [–]abstractdrawing 690 ポイント691 ポイント  (74子コメント)

                                        Detroit vs itself

                                        [–]tikeee2 380 ポイント381 ポイント  (52子コメント)

                                        This is actually incredibly true. I live on the northwest border of detroit and have for my entire life. Kawami Kilpatrick took the city down and is currently serving a 28 year* in a federal prison for what he did. But ontop of that, Detroiters elected him twice. Twice! They reelected him even when it was known he was literally stealing money from them. So yeah, it was detroit vs. Itself in so many ways.

                                        *Edited to be correct as below

                                        [–]KyleCleave 202 ポイント203 ポイント  (27子コメント)

                                        Well, it was public information but if the public can't read they will never understand what was happening.

                                        [–]_owowow_ 77 ポイント78 ポイント  (16子コメント)

                                        Illiterate people elect people that will keep them illiterate. I guess this is an example of where democracy fails.

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                                          [–]thepopeframedOJ 25 ポイント26 ポイント  (4子コメント)

                                          Kawami Kilpatrick

                                          "On October 10, 2013, Kilpatrick was sentenced to 28 years in federal prison.[6]"

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                                              [–]Tactical_Zach 312 ポイント313 ポイント  (11子コメント)

                                              Detroit again errebody

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                                                [–]-IIII---405---IIII- 305 ポイント306 ポイント  (55子コメント)

                                                Have you ever been to Detroit? Parts of that city are returning to nature.

                                                [–]fat_osvaldo[🍰] 64 ポイント65 ポイント  (4子コメント)

                                                Urban meadows.

                                                [–]drfeelokay 74 ポイント75 ポイント  (11子コメント)

                                                If you want to see nature reclaiming the urban - check out East St. Louis. Make sure you have adequate air support when you do it.

                                                [–]MikeHot-Pence 28 ポイント29 ポイント  (3子コメント)

                                                We talking a drone with a camera and a flashing LED or Apaches?

                                                [–]-IIII---405---IIII- 20 ポイント21 ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                                Yea lol, I don't go to East Saint. Well, except to go to the Malcolm W Martin Memorial Park to see the Gateway Geyser.

                                                Couple pics I have taken from there. http://imgur.com/LXDIiUL http://imgur.com/vb4ElBq

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                                                    [–]Stealthy_Bird 243 ポイント244 ポイント  (158子コメント)

                                                    How is that even possible? It's insane to think how you can even function in a huge city for all your life without being able to read...

                                                    [–]youmustwait9mins 409 ポイント410 ポイント  (126子コメント)

                                                    Essentially, adults have the reading levels of 3rd graders. The can read CHUNKIES on a soup can, but itll take them 20 minutes and a boat load of errors to get through a paragraph in the newspaper.

                                                    [–]Erstezeitwar 212 ポイント213 ポイント  (57子コメント)

                                                    Hell, lots of people all over the country, adults who've graduated high school, don't know plenty of basic words. I have friends I can't play Cards Against Humanity with because they literally do not know words like "famine."

                                                    [–]fireduck 81 ポイント82 ポイント  (3子コメント)

                                                    famine = no chunkies

                                                    [–]burritosandblunts 141 ポイント142 ポイント  (45子コメント)

                                                    We found out our boss can't read. We made him a joke gift one year with a funny description card. It was a gift you wouldn't understand without reading the card. So he sat there and looked at the card for a second and then remained confused by the gift.

                                                    If we didn't give him shit constantly for being dumb I would have been surprised. But I guess I was surprised just how dumb he is.

                                                    And he's my fuckin boss.

                                                    [–]upturnedwhiskers 43 ポイント44 ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                    What sort of job do you do?

                                                    Maybe he can read, but he's just not great at picking up on jokes or making connections of that sort?

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                                                          [–]WontGrovel 100 ポイント101 ポイント  (5子コメント)

                                                          function in a huge city for all your life

                                                          They probably rarely leave their neighborhood. To them the city is not so big. Normally illiterate adults have learned to adapt. They know what common signs mean. They know numbers.

                                                          Imagine living in a foreign country and barely speaking the language. You could do it if you moved to a neighborhood of people who spoke your native language.

                                                          You'd be surprised how isolated people can be even in big cities.

                                                          [–]omarstrollin 17 ポイント18 ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                                          I lived for three years in a foreign city without knowing the language (not my proudest moment).

                                                          It can be done pretty easily.

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                                                            [–]Finger11Fan 90 ポイント91 ポイント  (12子コメント)

                                                            For a long time people in Detroit didn't have to read. There were auto factories that hired men and women right out of high school and paid a decent living wage for mindless work that didn't require reading. Then the auto industry moved overseas and became automated leaving generations of people with sub-par educations.

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                                                                [–]GabrielMisfire 507 ポイント508 ポイント  (48子コメント)

                                                                Ha! Here in Italy it's 43% 47% of the entire country. Amateurs.

                                                                Source (in Italian).

                                                                [–]IT-Vagabond 104 ポイント105 ポイント  (6子コメント)

                                                                what the fuck

                                                                [–]GabrielMisfire 56 ポイント57 ポイント  (2子コメント)

                                                                Heh. I actually got it wrong - it's 47%.

                                                                Sorry for the link in Italian, but here's a table that admittedly isn't too up to date (1994-2003) detailing the percentage of functional illiteracy in people aged 16-65.

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                                                                  [–]Wampawacka 170 ポイント171 ポイント  (4子コメント)

                                                                  All the tax evasion finally makes sense.

                                                                  [–]GabrielMisfire 99 ポイント100 ポイント  (3子コメント)

                                                                  Heh, the real problem is that since services are basically nonexistent, or in a lot of cases not efficient, and corruption is absurdly high for a (supposedly) first world country, and with a level of functional illiteracy so high you can pretty much be assured that there will be incompetents behind almost anything, and that taxation is as high as the oh-so-taxed Scandinavian countries with nothing comparable in return, tax evasion does make sense.

                                                                  It doesn't, but it sorta does. It's a snake biting its own tail.

                                                                  [–]HmmWhatsThat 44 ポイント45 ポイント  (2子コメント)

                                                                  Can't read it, I'm functionally illiterate in Italian. :(

                                                                  [–]nowforthetruthiness 19 ポイント20 ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                                                  Hey, if Italians can't read that how do you expect the rest of us to manage?

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                                                                    [–]friedgold119 9072 ポイント9073 ポイント  (2965子コメント)

                                                                    Keep in mind that 14% of the entire country is illiterate. I don't know how much of that number is made up of Alabamans, but it's a surprising number itself.

                                                                    [–]Gemmabeta 3509 ポイント3510 ポイント  (2552子コメント)

                                                                    According to a study conducted in late April by the U.S. Department of Education and the National Institute of Literacy, 32 million adults in the U.S. can't read. That's 14 percent of the population. 21 percent of adults in the U.S. read below a 5th grade level, and 19 percent of high school graduates can't read.

                                                                    www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/09/06/illiteracy-rate_n_3880355.html

                                                                    [–]Ben_Kenobi_ 5497 ポイント5498 ポイント  (2368子コメント)

                                                                    How do you graduate highschool if you can't read?

                                                                    [–]Gemmabeta 634 ポイント635 ポイント  (23子コメント)

                                                                    A "below basic" reading level (functionally illiterate) does not mean "can't tell the letter A from B" it means the person is able to (but nothing more):

                                                                    • locating easily identifiable information in short, commonplace prose texts (e.g. searching a short, simple text to find out what a patient is allowed to drink before a medical test)
                                                                    • locating easily identifiable information and following written instructions in simple documents such as charts or forms, (e.g. signing a form)
                                                                    • locating numbers and using them to perform simple quantitative operations (primarily addition) when the mathematical information is very concrete and familiar (e.g. adding the amounts on a bank deposit slip

                                                                    https://nces.ed.gov/naal/perf_levels.asp

                                                                    [–]HippyHitman 289 ポイント290 ポイント  (9子コメント)

                                                                    That doesn't really answer the question though. Those are things one is required to do in high school.

                                                                    Edit: disregard this. Maybe I'm functionally illiterate.

                                                                    [–]SithLord13 341 ポイント342 ポイント  (5子コメント)

                                                                    And those are all things functionally illiterate people can do.

                                                                    [–]HippyHitman 337 ポイント338 ポイント  (3子コメント)

                                                                    Whoops. I misread that. Thanks for explaining instead of just downvoting.

                                                                    Edit: the irony is not lost on me.

                                                                    [–]SithLord13 75 ポイント76 ポイント  (2子コメント)

                                                                    No worries, it happens to the best of us. May want to edit your higher level comment so you don't get spammed if your comment shows up before a cutoff and replies don't so you don't get spammed by people saying the same thing I did.

                                                                    And the irony is delicious.

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                                                                          [–]jackmusclescarier 5578 ポイント5579 ポイント  (1887子コメント)

                                                                          We're talking about functionally illiterate. It doesn't mean they literally cannot read, but it means they cannot read, interpret and understand simple text in a timely manner.

                                                                          [–]Ben_Kenobi_ 3640 ポイント3641 ポイント  (1724子コメント)

                                                                          Yea, still though. Highschool is like over half reading. Idk how people could legitimately pass core English classes if they are functionally illiterate.

                                                                          [–]Loud_as_Hope 3334 ポイント3335 ポイント  (759子コメント)

                                                                          Keep quiet and stay out of trouble. Cheat if you're in one of many schools where that's ignored or encouraged. I have great stories about bringing a Monopoly board to Chemistry class to play with the other kids who actually understood the rest of the material. The rest of the class would spend the entire time finding ways to cheat for tests or manipulating our fourth science teacher in four years to answer problems on the board (only one for the whole school, and he was a lumberjack by trade).

                                                                          [–]Baaz 2650 ポイント2651 ポイント  (81子コメント)

                                                                          Huh?! Did you just say you passed your chemistry finals by playing Monopoly with a lumberjack? Or am I functionally illiterate :-)

                                                                          [–]J4CKR4BB1TSL1MS 810 ポイント811 ポイント  (56子コメント)

                                                                          Por que no los dos?

                                                                          [–]Loud_as_Hope 51 ポイント52 ポイント  (2子コメント)

                                                                          No. That was the time we played with bouncy balls on the physical science students' volcano things. We set up an obstacle course and awarded bonus points for trick shots.

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                                                                            [–]NINJAM7 319 ポイント320 ポイント  (212子コメント)

                                                                            Ah, the good old no one left behind program

                                                                            [–]sydshamino 641 ポイント642 ポイント  (200子コメント)

                                                                            a.k.a. keep the slowest, most disruptive student in the regular class room, holding the whole class back. After all, no one is left behind if everyone is prevented from learning equally.

                                                                            [–]katarh 335 ポイント336 ポイント  (83子コメント)

                                                                            Main reason I'm glad I got to leave my shitbag lowest ranked high school and go to a magnet school. The teachers weren't necessarily any better at the "good" school but boy oh boy being in a class room full of engaged students who understood the material as it was presented so we could have serious, engaging discussions, was a game changer.

                                                                            All I remember from 9th grade geometry at the "bad" school was the 11th grader who was repeating the class going "but I don't understand" every five minutes.

                                                                            [–]plorraine 14 ポイント15 ポイント  (3子コメント)

                                                                            One of the biggest predictors of student success is parental engagement. If you have a community of engaged parents, you will often have a very successful school. Cherry picking the engaged students also works but leaves everyone else behind and so is a partial solution. I have no idea how you broaden helpful parental involvement - it seems to be a complex factor based on the culture and parents own upbringing - or the best way to create engaged students in the absence of parental support. Peer pressure works both ways - a school full of motivated students will pull up a disinterested student as a school full of disinterested students will pull down a motivated one.

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                                                                              [–]amanitus 148 ポイント149 ポイント  (30子コメント)

                                                                              I'm glad I got an education where people gave a fuck. Disruptive people were either in special education or the slower track classes.

                                                                              [–]SirRazzington 24 ポイント25 ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                                                              We would have had over 50% of my high school in one of those classes. No shit. I could have finished what I did in high school in one school year.

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                                                                                [–]Ginger256 65 ポイント66 ポイント  (21子コメント)

                                                                                This is one of my biggest gripes with the whole idea. There's no reason why not leaving a child behind has to mean slowing the whole class to their level but that is what happens.

                                                                                For clarity these aren't kids that need special education, just garden variety stupid/disruptive.

                                                                                [–]a_small_thump1 60 ポイント61 ポイント  (17子コメント)

                                                                                teacher here...

                                                                                I have a class where one child completely derails everything. Everything! If he's gone for the day, the class runs fine. If he's there, the class is awful. He is failing all his classes, constantly bullies ALL his peers, tries to start fights with them and me, makes bizarre noises like a dying giraffe for attention if no one has noticed him in 5 minutes, throws things, cusses constantly, comes to class baked out of his mind... I've tried so, so hard to make him care, but he does not and will not. It's maddening having to try to somehow control him and sacrificing the other kids' class time, and the days when he's gone just make it glaringly apparent that he's the only one actually causing us to get off track. I'm at my wit's end with the kid.

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                                                                                      [–]Funkleheim 78 ポイント79 ポイント  (34子コメント)

                                                                                      That and there are other classes you can take that are stupid easy. In there doing book reports on Sam I Am in 11th grade.

                                                                                      [–]Simplton 38 ポイント39 ポイント  (2子コメント)

                                                                                      For a second I thought you meant I Am Sam which coincidentally is about a mentally handicapped person.

                                                                                      [–]ahalekelly 63 ポイント64 ポイント  (20子コメント)

                                                                                      Don't dismiss Dr Seuss, I wrote 10 quite interesting pages on The Lorax in 11th grade.

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                                                                                          [–]thatsumoguy07[🍰] 76 ポイント77 ポイント  (25子コメント)

                                                                                          Urban schools, and rural county schools have such a low bar for acceptable that just showing up and do homework will get you a C and a diploma. Example I am from a small area in Eastern KY, the city schools (ie schools named after the city they are in, not big cities) were nice and actually prepared you for college, and if you were failing there just jump ship to the county schools and get a C. So an F at a normal school is a C at a county school.

                                                                                          [–]ecafyelims 1052 ポイント1053 ポイント  (504子コメント)

                                                                                          There was an illiterate boy in my high school. He passed because he was on the football team. The school requires a C or better in every subject to be allowed to play games. It sounds good in theory, but in practice it just meant that the principal would force teachers to give those failing students better grades if they were on the football team.

                                                                                          I personally witnessed it happen in science class. The kid failed his test, and he yelled in class, "No! We agreed that I needed a 100 on this test in order to be passing."

                                                                                          The teacher response, "That's right, you needed a 100 in order to pass, but you earned a 35."

                                                                                          "If I don't pass, then I can't play the game tonight. You know that! You were supposed to give me a 100 on this test."

                                                                                          "Well, then you should have studied for the test. We talked about this, you knew it was coming. I even offered to help you study after class. You didn't study, and now you can't play in the game."

                                                                                          "I'm going to tell Mr. School Principal. He said you needed to give me a 100 on this test." He storms out of the class. The teacher continues to teach.

                                                                                          The kid comes back with Mr. School Principal, and the two of them with the science teacher take the discussion to another room. The teacher and student come back 5 minutes later. The teacher looks like he's ready to quit, and the kid is bragging that he got a 100 on the test.

                                                                                          The football team would openly brag about how the teachers weren't allowed to give them grades below a C.

                                                                                          He's paying for it now though. He still can't read very well, and he's unemployed last I knew.

                                                                                          [–]humblepotatopeeler 921 ポイント922 ポイント  (213子コメント)

                                                                                          BUT HE GOT TO PLAY IN THE ALL IMPORTANT FOOTBALL GAME!

                                                                                          What a bunch of dumbasses (the administration and local government)

                                                                                          [–]noscope360gokuswag 491 ポイント492 ポイント  (81子コメント)

                                                                                          You can also add every high school 'OH FUCK YEAH FUCKING FOOTBALL WOO' kid who will continue to talk about their high school football career till they're 65 to your list of dumbasses

                                                                                          [–]vinobruno 435 ポイント436 ポイント  (17子コメント)

                                                                                          Back in '82, I could throw the pigskin a quarter mile.

                                                                                          [–]PussyStapler 202 ポイント203 ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                                                                          Grandma just called and said you're supposed to go home. She said she doesn't want you here when she gets back because you've been ruining everybody's lives and eating all our steak.

                                                                                          [–]SconnieLite 220 ポイント221 ポイント  (4子コメント)

                                                                                          How much do you wanna bet I could throw this football over them mountains?

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                                                                                            [–]AngeredByStatistics 158 ポイント159 ポイント  (9子コメント)

                                                                                            can you blame them? probably the last time their life felt meaningful. Kids aren't too bright, and I'd bet almost everyone in their lives who were supposed to prepare them for the future pushed them to the "only football matters" mindset.

                                                                                            [–]ask_me_about_cats 46 ポイント47 ポイント  (3子コメント)

                                                                                            Absolutely. I used to find it depressing when adults would say something like, "Cheer up kid, these are the best days of your life!"

                                                                                            My life sucked as a kid. I was nerdy and awkward, other kids picked on me, and I got beaten up a lot.

                                                                                            Then I became an adult, and I turned my nerdiness into a great job. I own a house, I married an awesome nerd girl, and it turns out the jocks can't hit me any longer, because now that's assault. Being a grown up is great!

                                                                                            A few of the kids who used to pick on me turned out to be decent adults, but many aren't doing very well. A few died or are in prison now. For many of them, childhood did end up being the best days of their lives.

                                                                                            I guess the moral of the story is that childhood is brief, adulthood is long. Optimize your kids for adulthood, or they're going to spend most of their lives being unhappy.

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                                                                                              [–]soulsoda 52 ポイント53 ポイント  (12子コメント)

                                                                                              My school was the opposite. Football players were treated like second class citizens or degenerates while the marching band dominated the school. Bound to happen when one hasn't won a game 7 years and the other brings home state championships/national rankings every year.

                                                                                              Last I heard theyve won 6 game since ive graduated. I have been gone for 7 years...

                                                                                              [–]notwhoithink 108 ポイント109 ポイント  (8子コメント)

                                                                                              I had a friend was a big baseball player

                                                                                              back in high school

                                                                                              He could throw that speedball by you

                                                                                              Make you look like a fool boy

                                                                                              Saw him the other night at this roadside bar

                                                                                              I was walking in, he was walking out

                                                                                              We went back inside sat down had a few drinks

                                                                                              but all he kept talking about was

                                                                                              Glory days well they'll pass you by

                                                                                              Glory days in the wink of a young girl's eye

                                                                                              Glory days, glory days

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                                                                                                [–]BurnedOut_ITGuy 85 ポイント86 ポイント  (63子コメント)

                                                                                                Sadly, if you are a good athlete you can pull this crap off at all educational levels. I went to college with football players who might have attended 3-4 classes the entire semester (usually only when there were tests) and somehow still managed to pass.

                                                                                                [–]aggiechicken 49 ポイント50 ポイント  (39子コメント)

                                                                                                When I was in college our football players had access to the tests before us so they could "study". Then they were kept in really easy classes. I had some guys in poultry science, but very few of them went to the harder courses.

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                                                                                                  [–]Oh_God_its_Jesus 181 ポイント182 ポイント  (37子コメント)

                                                                                                  I'm wondering how well the number and location of functionally illiterate people in the US correlates with the people who fetishize high school football.

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                                                                                                    [–]sloppypoppyy 148 ポイント149 ポイント  (39子コメント)

                                                                                                    He's paying for it now though.

                                                                                                    We're paying for him now FTFY

                                                                                                    [–]wittyusername902 359 ポイント360 ポイント  (42子コメント)

                                                                                                    He's paying for it now though. He still can't read very well, and he's unemployed last I knew.

                                                                                                    He was a kid back then. That's not so much karma or anything, the school and the principal just utterly failed that guy. The principal is the one I wish was paying for that in some way.

                                                                                                    [–]MJpuppy 41 ポイント42 ポイント  (2子コメント)

                                                                                                    I think this is a really important message. He was just a kid, but the principal (and it sounds like a lot of people) put his presence on the football team ahead of his best interests.

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                                                                                                      [–]betteroffwith28 31 ポイント32 ポイント  (12子コメント)

                                                                                                      That's beyond bizarre, I never understood athletics in school. Why not have two schools, one for academics and another for sports?

                                                                                                      [–]WarEagleDG 23 ポイント24 ポイント  (12子コメント)

                                                                                                      I know of an almost identical situation also in Alabama. My friend was the teacher. Kid graduated HS and couldn't read. Went on to a University too. However this kid still plays pro football.

                                                                                                      [–]esoteric_plumbus 37 ポイント38 ポイント  (7子コメント)

                                                                                                      Have you talked to my father about the carpet store?

                                                                                                      [–]hypnobearcoup 53 ポイント54 ポイント  (21子コメント)

                                                                                                      Please tell me that after all that they lost the game.

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                                                                                                        [–]epicriddle 92 ポイント93 ポイント  (14子コメント)

                                                                                                        Also keep in mind that a lot of states punish teachers who fail students. Not just teachers either but the whole school system. It is really hard to fail a kid unless the kid is just flat out not participating. Even then the federal level will fund you less due to the failure rate and could possibly look into the situations.

                                                                                                        In my opinion, we have taken away a lot of a teachers ability to do whats right for the sake of tests scores and passing students for funding purposes. Students know they can pass with D's and be fine no matter what they do unless the teacher grows a pair and wants to risk their job to teach the kid a lesson.

                                                                                                        Sadly, a lot of a students behavior comes from their home life. In poverty ridden areas you will get parents who are strung out on drugs. The kids have developed a wall where they have to look out for themselves because their parents gave up on them already. They most likely have siblings that grow up to follow that same path. Its hard to undo what they have grew up with for years in the 7-8 hours a day teachers get to interact with them.

                                                                                                        [–]nickiter 79 ポイント80 ポイント  (25子コメント)

                                                                                                        I taught freshman composition at a state school. A few students in each semester would come in with writing skills on par with a 5th or 6th grader - difficulty forming coherent sentences, extreme grammar and spelling issues, etc. These were students who not only graduated high school, but got decent enough grades for college admissions.

                                                                                                        So, basically, I blame high schools who pass kids who should not pass.

                                                                                                        [–]nihaopengyou 117 ポイント118 ポイント  (78子コメント)

                                                                                                        You're overestimating the rigor of basic high school classes. Couple a basic high school class with a poorly funded, low achieving school and there is almost no need to be able to read.

                                                                                                        [–]kaetror 88 ポイント89 ポイント  (61子コメント)

                                                                                                        Which is still horrifying. Here in the U.K. Qualifications are national exams; doesn't matter how low achieving or lazy the school is, if that kid can't pull it out the bag on exam day he gets nothing.

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                                                                                                          [–]chiliedogg 35 ポイント36 ポイント  (3子コメント)

                                                                                                          The situation wasn't improved when federal laws were passed requiring schools to have a 100 percent pass rate in order to receive funding.

                                                                                                          If a student is struggling, sometimes they need to be failed so they can catch up.

                                                                                                          [–]tits_mcgee0123 26 ポイント27 ポイント  (3子コメント)

                                                                                                          They push kids through A LOT now. If your districts graduation numbers drop or increase, it affects your funding big time. Holding kids back affects funding and affects how teachers are assessed. If you fail a kid, it's assumed you fucked up as a teacher, not that the kid isn't keeping up and needs to repeat a grade. So all that combined ends up with kids who read at a very low level just scraping by and eventually graduating.

                                                                                                          [–]rulenumber303 39 ポイント40 ポイント  (2子コメント)

                                                                                                          Idk how people could legitimately pass core English classes if they are functionally illiterate.

                                                                                                          Stream heavily, cream off the really good kids to advanced classes and siphon off the really awful kids to classes where as many texts as possible are delivered in ways that include a film. Shakespeare? Easy, most of that has been filmed. Then train them all to write very similar, very simple essays with only a handful of differences. Give them all the conclusions they must reach. Be extra generous with letting them redo work so long as they passed in something by the due date. Do anything you can to make sure enough of it sticks that they can write a c minus essay in the exam. Remember, you get a lot of marks in English for understanding the text and it is possible to understand a lot of texts to c minus level just by watching a movie and being told what to think. Then for the texts that aren't available as movies, try to choose stuff sorta designed to be consumed by kids that has managed to become a classic.

                                                                                                          [–]Disappear13 16 ポイント17 ポイント  (6子コメント)

                                                                                                          I graduated high school two years ago. We didn't do any difficult reading at all, not even in English classes. When we had book reports everyone just googled stuff about the book and plagiarized but none of the teachers cared.

                                                                                                          [–]Thatguywithsomething 91 ポイント92 ポイント  (55子コメント)

                                                                                                          Welcome to No Child Left Behind.

                                                                                                          [–]oced2001 98 ポイント99 ポイント  (28子コメント)

                                                                                                          "You can't fail me. No child is left behind."

                                                                                                          Had a kid say that to me once. He did zero work. The principal had a good laugh. He had to go to summer school but still failed because he refused to work there also. I have been lucky to have good supervisors.

                                                                                                          [–]muaddeej 29 ポイント30 ポイント  (26子コメント)

                                                                                                          You must have been in a relatively good district. It's all based on percentages.

                                                                                                          Have a large school with lots of people passing? No big deal to fail a kid.

                                                                                                          Have a smaller school with poor kids with a high fail rate? Adding one more fail may cost you or your admin your jobs.

                                                                                                          [–]Jani_Kani 14 ポイント15 ポイント  (9子コメント)

                                                                                                          That's really dumb. If the kid fails, because they refuse to work the teachers, principals, or whoever shouldn't get the blame for that.

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                                                                                                                  [–]Spidersinmypants 32 ポイント33 ポイント  (26子コメント)

                                                                                                                  What's the cutoff for functionality illiterate? In my city, half the 12th graders cannot read at grade level. Presumably none of the 30% that drop out can either. So the majority of the kids going through the school cannot read well.

                                                                                                                  I would presume if you cannot read and write at a 12th grade level, you're functionally illiterate.

                                                                                                                  [–]PaxNova 27 ポイント28 ポイント  (17子コメント)

                                                                                                                  I'm not entirely sure about that. We keep hearing reports about presidential speeches saying "This speech was written at a Nth grade level." Obama was quite satisfying as a speaker, and his were rated at about an 8th grade level. Most media is around that level to get broad appeal and readability. I'm not sure that one needs a 12th grade level to get passing literacy.

                                                                                                                  [–]OSCgal 33 ポイント34 ポイント  (9子コメント)

                                                                                                                  So I looked up what "reading level" actually means: The Flesch-Kincaid Readability Tests

                                                                                                                  Most popular fiction doesn't make it past a 7th grade reading level. 8th-9th grade is considered "Plain English". 12th grade is dense, difficult stuff like legal documents.

                                                                                                                  [–]faye0518 26 ポイント27 ポイント  (6子コメント)

                                                                                                                  Speaking as someone who went to law school, I seriously doubt 50% of 12th graders can read legal documents.

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                                                                                                                        [–]pewpew30172 37 ポイント38 ポイント  (26子コメント)

                                                                                                                        It says that 21 percent of adults read below a 5th grade level. That's not a sufficient level of comprehension for Harry Potter books....

                                                                                                                        Think about that. Someone who can't understand Harry Potter can vote for president. Now think about the percentage... That's 1 in 5 American adults.

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                                                                                                                          [–]Hating_Spurrier 343 ポイント344 ポイント  (33子コメント)

                                                                                                                          Alabama was recently discovered to be massively falsifying grades and creating graduates out of thin air.

                                                                                                                          http://www.al.com/news/index.ssf/2016/12/high_school_grad_rate_investig.html

                                                                                                                          [–]muaddeej 176 ポイント177 ポイント  (26子コメント)

                                                                                                                          It's not isolated to Alabama.

                                                                                                                          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atlanta_Public_Schools_cheating_scandal

                                                                                                                          You always have to be careful of what you incentivize. If you start threatening people's livelihood based on certain metrics, you can count on those metrics going up, but you can't necessarily count on the outcome you wanted.

                                                                                                                          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cobra_effect

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                                                                                                                            [–]smiterofthefools 145 ポイント146 ポイント  (43子コメント)

                                                                                                                            No enforcement of educational standards, absence of standards, teachers that make little more than factory workers, schools that have been effectively defunded by conservatives for decades, an economy that emphasizes imprisonment as an economic model. This is the effect of institutionalized ignorance as a religion and government policy. This is how you systematically produce hordes of desperate slaving morons. I live in the South, I had a teacher in the 4th grade that read like this: "to...day.....is.....the...firs...day.....uh....duh....week......and....it.....is.....money.....mon..day..." Good thing my mother was a real teacher.

                                                                                                                            [–]lightknight7777 41 ポイント42 ポイント  (11子コメント)

                                                                                                                            Functionally illiterate doesn't mean no reading at all. It's more of a timely fashion thing.

                                                                                                                            An unfortunate consequent of "No child left behind" sees students getting passed to the next grade regardless of whether or not they really need to be held back to resolve a significant issue like reading comprehension.

                                                                                                                            [–]TaffyDucky 10 ポイント11 ポイント  (6子コメント)

                                                                                                                            In high school if didn't miss school more than five times a month you the lowest grade you got was D which meant you passed for the year.

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                                                                                                                              [–]danstu 71 ポイント72 ポイント  (44子コメント)

                                                                                                                              I don't see it in the article or the institute for literacy stats that were linked. I'm assuming that's specifically illiteracy in English, does anyone know if that's correct?

                                                                                                                              Curious to see how those stats look if they include people whose primary language isn't English. Granted, not understanding English while living in the US will make your life more difficult, but it's a very different thing to read at a fifth grade level in your primary language vs. your secondary.

                                                                                                                              [–]scsuhockey 207 ポイント208 ポイント  (31子コメント)

                                                                                                                              Also, it should be mentioned that 20% of Americans speak a language other than English in their homes. Obviously, it's entirely possible to be literally bilingual, but a significant percentage of those who are illiterate in reading English can be attributed to being non-native English speakers.

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                                                                                                                                [–]gurjeven1 391 ポイント392 ポイント  (72子コメント)

                                                                                                                                16% of the England Is apparently functionally illiterate too. It's hard to imagine there's so many people like that in a country where education is compulsory

                                                                                                                                Source: http://www.literacytrust.org.uk/adult_literacy/illiterate_adults_in_england

                                                                                                                                [–]playblu 231 ポイント232 ポイント  (12子コメント)

                                                                                                                                16% of the England

                                                                                                                                [–]capitalsfan08 343 ポイント344 ポイント  (20子コメント)

                                                                                                                                It's hard to imagine there's so many people like that in a country where education is compulsory

                                                                                                                                The US has compulsory education too.

                                                                                                                                [–]gurjeven1 110 ポイント111 ポイント  (7子コメント)

                                                                                                                                I wonder how illiterate people filled in the survey for these stats

                                                                                                                                [–]JoJoWiCo 103 ポイント104 ポイント  (3子コメント)

                                                                                                                                If there was a kitty drawn in the space for their name I think that counts as illiterate.

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                                                                                                                                    [–]hedgecore77 94 ポイント95 ポイント  (7子コメント)

                                                                                                                                    TIL 84% of the English aren't rabid football fans.

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                                                                                                                                        [–]Jux_16 1753 ポイント1754 ポイント  (559子コメント)

                                                                                                                                        Here's the page for the NCES which produces the lower-end 15% number in the source. A key footnote (emphasis mine):

                                                                                                                                        Those lacking Basic prose literacy skills include those who scored Below Basic in prose and those who could not be tested due to language barriers.

                                                                                                                                        This same source ranks 11 states (and the District of Columbia) as worse than Alabama: California (23%), New York (23%), Florida (20%), DC (19%), Texas (19%), Georgia (17%), New Jersey (17%), Hawaii (16%), Louisiana (16%), Mississippi (16%), Nevada (16%) and New Mexico (16%).

                                                                                                                                        [–]maxout2142 738 ポイント739 ポイント  (468子コメント)

                                                                                                                                        Could some of these number like California be thrown off by immigrants or illegal immigrants like California.

                                                                                                                                        [–]Jux_16 1124 ポイント1125 ポイント  (441子コメント)

                                                                                                                                        Yeah, that's my whole point. Non-English speakers were included in these figures, and essentially by default included in these measures if they couldn't speak enough English for the test, so it's not precisely a "man Alabama must be dumb as shit because they can't read" type of measure.

                                                                                                                                        *Edit: Regarding the argument of which states have higher percentage of foreign-born people - again, I don't think that turns it into a "Alabama is so stupid" without a clear way of removing one group from the measure. Can you break down what percentage of those people can't speak enough English for the test, and how many can, and how it impacts the literacy measure? This very source says that it's difficult to measure for this reason, and while I'm not really a fan of the South myself, we gotta realize that this number and title are maybe a little more disparaging then they should be.

                                                                                                                                        [–]OathOfFeanor 160 ポイント161 ポイント  (211子コメント)

                                                                                                                                        Are there a lot of immigrants in Alabama, though?

                                                                                                                                        [–]DrobUWP 276 ポイント277 ポイント  (165子コメント)

                                                                                                                                        Alabama is illiterate for a different reason

                                                                                                                                        the top 5 counties contributing to this statistic are black majority counties.
                                                                                                                                        http://www.summasource.com/sites/default/files/Team%20Literacy-A%20Step.pdf

                                                                                                                                        people have been commenting on the fact that Detroit is up at 47%

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                                                                                                                                            [–]J4CKR4BB1TSL1MS 136 ポイント137 ポイント  (5子コメント)

                                                                                                                                            Could some of these number like California be thrown off by immigrants or illegal immigrants like California.

                                                                                                                                            You can just ask a question specifically about California if you want man.

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                                                                                                                                                [–]jackmusclescarier 447 ポイント448 ポイント  (106子コメント)

                                                                                                                                                I tried to Google the sort of text that you are supposed to understand if you are just functionally literate. This proved surprisingly difficult. I found some paywalled stuff (that I could not access on my university network either). There is this document (pdf), which measures functional literacy in a health care context. It consists of a series of multiple choice questions of the form "enter the word that makes sense". It requires reading comprehension, and very basic anatomy/knowledge of medical procedures. For instance, questions 1-3 are:

                                                                                                                                                Your doctor has sent you to have a ___ X-ray.

                                                                                                                                                1. stomach
                                                                                                                                                2. diabetes
                                                                                                                                                3. stitches
                                                                                                                                                4. germs

                                                                                                                                                You must have an ___ stomach, when you come for ___.

                                                                                                                                                First blank:

                                                                                                                                                1. asthma
                                                                                                                                                2. empty
                                                                                                                                                3. incest
                                                                                                                                                4. anemia

                                                                                                                                                Second blank:

                                                                                                                                                1. is
                                                                                                                                                2. am
                                                                                                                                                3. if
                                                                                                                                                4. it

                                                                                                                                                [–]AR_Wyss 299 ポイント300 ポイント  (5子コメント)

                                                                                                                                                I know it's supposed to be a literacy test, but it looks to me like multiple choice Mad Libs.

                                                                                                                                                [–]RutherfordLaser 1318 ポイント1319 ポイント  (26子コメント)

                                                                                                                                                You must have an empty stomach when you come for incest.

                                                                                                                                                Shits too easy.

                                                                                                                                                Edit: I need downvotes, this simply cannot be my most upvoted comment.

                                                                                                                                                [–]ExbronentialGrowth 78 ポイント79 ポイント  (5子コメント)

                                                                                                                                                I think I nailed the top of page 7:

                                                                                                                                                For supper have only a ATTACK snack of food, TOES and jelly, with coffee or tea.

                                                                                                                                                [–]rabidjellybean 102 ポイント103 ポイント  (33子コメント)

                                                                                                                                                They do stomach xrays?

                                                                                                                                                Edit: Do any of you bother looking at the other replies?

                                                                                                                                                [–]Gordonjcp 171 ポイント172 ポイント  (22子コメント)

                                                                                                                                                You can x-ray anything. Whether or not that tells you anything useful is another matter.

                                                                                                                                                You might x-ray someone's stomach to look for ingested metal bits, or something. This might be important if you were going to MRI them later.

                                                                                                                                                [–]Chino1130 14 ポイント15 ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                                                                                                                                No stupid, you x-ray your germs. /j

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                                                                                                                                                  [–]ManBearPig1865 73 ポイント74 ポイント  (4子コメント)

                                                                                                                                                  You must have an asthma stomach, when you come for is?

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                                                                                                                                                    [–]Fargoth_took_my_ring 1654 ポイント1655 ポイント  (72子コメント)

                                                                                                                                                    Is this factoring in babies?

                                                                                                                                                    Damn illiterate babies, throwing off the statistics.

                                                                                                                                                    [–]friedgold119 793 ポイント794 ポイント  (35子コメント)

                                                                                                                                                    I know it's ridiculous. Here's a study describing just how stupid researchers have found babies to be.

                                                                                                                                                    LOS ANGELES - A surprising new study released Monday by UCLA's Institute For Child Development revealed that human babies, long thought by psychologists to be highly inquisitive and adaptable, are actually extraordinarily stupid.

                                                                                                                                                    The study, an 18-month battery of intelligence tests administered to over 3,500 babies, concluded categorically that babies are "so stupid, it's not even funny."

                                                                                                                                                    According to Institute president Molly Bentley, in an effort to determine infant survival instincts when attacked, the babies were prodded in an aggressive manner with a broken broom handle. Over 90 percent of them, when poked, failed to make even rudimentary attempts to defend themselves. The remaining 10 percent responded by vacating their bowels.

                                                                                                                                                    It is unlikely that the presence of the babies' fecal matter, however foul-smelling, would have a measurable defensive effect against an attacker in a real-world situation," Bentley said.

                                                                                                                                                    Another test, in which the infants were placed on a mound of dirt outdoors during a torrential downpour, produced similarly bleak results.

                                                                                                                                                    "The chicken, dog and even worm babies that we submitted to the test as a control group all had enough sense to come in from the rain or, at least, seek shelter under a leafy clump of vegetation or outcropping of rock," test supervisor Thomas Howell said. "The human babies, on the other hand, could not grasp even this incredibly basic concept, instead merely lying on the ground and making gurgling noises."

                                                                                                                                                    According to Howell, almost 60 percent of the infants tested in this manner eventually drowned.

                                                                                                                                                    Some of the babies tested were actually so stupid that they choked to death on pieces of Micronaut space toys. Others, unable to use such primitive instruments as can openers and spoons due to insufficient motor skills, simply starved to death, despite being surrounded by cabinets full of nutritious, life-giving Gerber-brand baby-food products.

                                                                                                                                                    Babies, the study concluded, are also too stupid to do the following: avoid getting their heads trapped in automatic car windows; use ice to alleviate the pain of burn injuries resulting from touching an open flame; master the skills required for scuba diving; and use a safety ladder to reach a window to escape from a room filled with cyanide gas.

                                                                                                                                                    "As a mother of four, I find these results very disheartening," Bentley told reporters. "I can honestly say that the effort I have expended trying to raise my children into intelligent beings may have been entirely wasted, a fool's dream, if you will."

                                                                                                                                                    Study results also prompted a strong reaction from President Clinton. "All of us, on some primitive, mammalian level, feel a great sense of pride in our offspring," Clinton said. "It is now clear, however, that these feelings are unfounded. Given the overwhelming evidence of their profound stupidity, we have no choice but to replace our existing infant population with artificially incubated simu-drones, with the eventual goal of phasing out the shamefully stupid human baby forever."

                                                                                                                                                    [–]at_work40 675 ポイント676 ポイント  (18子コメント)

                                                                                                                                                    According to Howell, almost 60 percent of the infants tested in this manner eventually drowned.

                                                                                                                                                    It took me until here to realize.

                                                                                                                                                    [–]godofallcows 251 ポイント252 ポイント  (15子コメント)

                                                                                                                                                    The broken broom handle had me wondering but laughing.

                                                                                                                                                    [–]The_Choir_Invisible 50 ポイント51 ポイント  (7子コメント)

                                                                                                                                                    Knowing that a "standardized" sample of peanut butter is almost $900 a jar, I was imagining how expensive a standard broken broom handle would be.

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                                                                                                                                                          [–]jonpolis 407 ポイント408 ポイント  (20子コメント)

                                                                                                                                                          Babies and adults are natural enemies.

                                                                                                                                                          Just like babies and scots

                                                                                                                                                          Or babies and welsh

                                                                                                                                                          Or babies and other babies!

                                                                                                                                                          Dam babies, the RUINED my childhood

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                                                                                                                                                            [–]mypersonnalreader 285 ポイント286 ポイント  (135子コメント)

                                                                                                                                                            That's pretty low compared to Quebec's functional illiteracy rate of 34%

                                                                                                                                                            Source : https://www.fondationalphabetisation.org/en/foundation/causes-of-illiteracy/mistaken-beliefs/

                                                                                                                                                            [–]harper-nicholas 924 ポイント925 ポイント  (45子コメント)

                                                                                                                                                            What about Alabawomans??

                                                                                                                                                            [–]thr33beggars22 782 ポイント783 ポイント  (35子コメント)

                                                                                                                                                            That means 3 in 4 Alabamians are functionally literate. Don't be such a pessimist, OP

                                                                                                                                                            [–]SlowYerRoll1 571 ポイント572 ポイント  (398子コメント)

                                                                                                                                                            If you live in a country where school is free and mandatory for every child............how the hell are so many people illiterate? This is a serious question.

                                                                                                                                                            [–]Resias 1172 ポイント1173 ポイント  (277子コメント)

                                                                                                                                                            I am a teacher and I have taught from high school to elementary school. There are so many kids who fall behind in reading in the first and second grade. It is not enough to just expect your kid to magically learn reading at school. Parents need to read to their kids and foster a love of reading from a very young age. If they do not have that by the end of the third grade, they will struggle for the rest of their academic careers. It is no longer learning to read after third grade. It is reading to learn. If you do not have the basic skills to process new information in text, then the rest of your learning suffers.

                                                                                                                                                            You resent learning because it is hard. You resent the kids who appear more intelligent because they don't struggle like you do. You feel stupid because you don't get good grades. Then you go home and your parents don't care about your schooling or think it is a waste of time.

                                                                                                                                                            To top all this off, you are part of a system that is financially and professionally desperate for you to pass.

                                                                                                                                                            It is a system that could use much improvement. That said, there is an incredible amount of data that show that parent involvement is one of the crucial factors in a child's academic success.

                                                                                                                                                            TL;DR: Please, for the love of all that is good and green in this world, read to your kids. Read with your kids. Teach your kids to love learning before they ever set foot in a school. Please.

                                                                                                                                                            Edited for clarity.

                                                                                                                                                            Edited one more time: It has come to my attention that my innocuous rant and plea has been gilded. I am not sure I deserve all that, but I really appreciate the conversation and outpouring of people this discussion has impacted. Please feel free to comment! I am trying to reply to everyone. Everyone has a voice and deserves to be heard.

                                                                                                                                                            [–]Fagsquamntch 116 ポイント117 ポイント  (6子コメント)

                                                                                                                                                            My roommate's a local high school teacher. The parent-teacher day at the beginning of the year has about 1 in 20, maybe in 1 in 10 parents show up. Those are usually the only kids that do well.

                                                                                                                                                            [–]Resias 30 ポイント31 ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                                                                                                                            Not atypical, unfortunately. It makes my heart hurt.

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                                                                                                                                                              [–]kaamoss 119 ポイント120 ポイント  (86子コメント)

                                                                                                                                                              Thank you so much for posting this. I really don't understand the mindset of parents who aren't willing to own the responsibility of teaching their children basic life skills (reading, math, critical thinking). My parents taught me to read, and spent countless nights as a young child reading to me or having me read to them. Now sure, those concepts were also re-enforced while I was in school, but even without that I don't think it would have hindered me. At the end of the day, children who can't read are a direct product of parents who are uninvolved, not the over burdened school system. It doesn't help that with this "no child left behind" bs children who don't have a proper grasp of fundamental concepts from one grade are simply dragged along to the next, which has the exciting benefit of slowing things down for the rest of the students who can keep up.

                                                                                                                                                              [–]tocilog 110 ポイント111 ポイント  (56子コメント)

                                                                                                                                                              I really don't understand the mindset of parents who aren't willing to own the responsibility of teaching their children basic life skills

                                                                                                                                                              Parents who are not literate themselves, parents who are overworked, parents whose shifts are during the time their kids are at home. I mean it's really not that hard to imagine and it's often not because these parents have some evil intention or hate of reading, learning, or resent their kids. Often times parents want their kids to succeed more than they do. But someone can't just teach something they never learned especially when they don't have the time.

                                                                                                                                                              Parents not able to spend time with their kids, teachers unmotivated because of low wage and little resources, kids being jaded of their future prospects. If these were just a few cases then yeah, there's something wrong with those people. But if it's a considerable chunk of the population, then these are symptoms to a bigger problem.

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                                                                                                                                                                  [–]Captian_Cocksmith 59 ポイント60 ポイント  (10子コメント)

                                                                                                                                                                  You can present the material, you can't make everyone care.

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                                                                                                                                                                    [–]Mr_Funnybones 238 ポイント239 ポイント  (96子コメント)

                                                                                                                                                                    At least they have the best college football team over the last decade, so they have that going for them, which is nice.

                                                                                                                                                                    [–]RedGalaxxy 114 ポイント115 ポイント  (21子コメント)

                                                                                                                                                                    And you know, that whole Space and Rocket Center in Huntsville that everyone conveniently forgets.

                                                                                                                                                                    [–]WartornTiger 38 ポイント39 ポイント  (4子コメント)

                                                                                                                                                                    For the record, the U.S. Space and Rocket Center is a museum and an affiliate of the Smithsonian Institution.

                                                                                                                                                                    The NASA center is Marshall Space Flight Center based on Redstone Arsenal which is an Army base that also houses the Missile Defense Agency, Army Missile Research and Development Command, countless other army/government programs, and a huge contingent of military forces focused on Cyber Warfare.

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                                                                                                                                                                        [–]MACS5952 327 ポイント328 ポイント  (45子コメント)

                                                                                                                                                                        Alabamians, but ok.

                                                                                                                                                                        [–]rebelplutarch 41 ポイント42 ポイント  (16子コメント)

                                                                                                                                                                        It's more of a socioeconomic problem than geographical. My friend is a teacher's assistant in a low income suburb and they have high school students that don't know the difference between nouns and verbs

                                                                                                                                                                        [–]thedankbank1021 53 ポイント54 ポイント  (3子コメント)

                                                                                                                                                                        Something I feel the need to point out is that "functionally illiterate" and actually illiterate are two completely separate concepts.

                                                                                                                                                                        One means you read too slow to be competitive with any task that requires reading, the other means you actually cant read.

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