January 20th, 2017

"You can't do this!" Obama shouts out on the hill of the capital mall, clutching the briefcase holding the nuclear launch codes in his hands.

A voice cries out from the chaos. "Restrain him!" The secret service agent nods, "Yes, God Emperor Trump." He obeys and holds Obama down as they yank the briefcase from his hands before they carry him off to gitmo to join Hillary and John Lewis.

"Now can we start this already? I got a golden baby shower in two hours. I'm a very busy man.”

Newly appointed Supreme Court Justice Ted Cruz, nods at Trump (Chief Justice Roberts was denied access to the inauguration because he's a "RINO"). “God Emperor Trump, do you promise to defend America? To defend it's people in each and everyone of our 48 states?” (Alaska having just been ceded to Russia, and California not being counted in the EC to "legitimize" the election by popular vote) To uphold our Consti-"

Cruz stops, remembering the U.S Constitution was replaced with Trump's best selling book, The Art of the Deal™. "I mean, to uphold the Art of The Deal™?"

Trump looks up confused from his Iphone, in the middle of a Tweet fight against Chris Evans for criticizing him. "What? Sure whatever you say... As long as I can have them drone strike that fat pig Rossie O'Donald.”

The crowd looks on with some shock. Next to 3 Doors Down is Libertarian Gary "what is Aleppo" Johnson, Jill "I love healing crystals" Stein, and FBI director James "Russia totally isn't hacking us" Comey. The three are considered the guests of honor for doing more to get Trump elected than anyone else.

Before Cruz can go on he feels an electric shock pierce through his body. He screams out and falls to the ground feeling that someone had launched a mini-Taser at him.

He looks up hearing an angry, commanding voice. "You forgot the most important part!" Cruz instantly recognizes the man holding the Taser as de facto President and de jure Vice President Mike Pence.

Cruz gets up and tries to catch his breath and says it again. "D-Do you swear to uphold the art of the deal... So help you God.." Mike Pence smiles as Trump half heatedly nods. The rest of the oath of office went in a similar manner.

When it was all said and done, Attorney General Jess Sessions scampered up to the podium where Trump is sitting. "Your Majesty, the wall has been completed, but we ran out of money even after you got rid of the EPA and three cabinet departments, so we had to use human corpses of illegal immigrants instead of cement for the last few feet. No one's gonna miss them anyways.”

Trump starts to laugh maniacally not even concerned that the whole world is watching the inauguration. “Excellent, now no one can stop me!”

The parade that took place just after consisted of several Spetsnaz brigades marching down the streets of Washington. Secretary of State Rex Tillerson and distinguished guest Vladimir Putin were nowhere to be found, until a CNN news crew caught them in the act of bribing Julian Assange into launching more smear campaigns against anti-Trump figures worldwide under the guise of Wikileaks.

Putin's guards shot the news crew on the spot. A few hours later, White House Press Secretary Milo Yiannopoulos announced that the crew was shot for being Islamic terrorists, and that all who disagreed were Cultural Marxists that loved fake news.