How the Declaration of Independence might have sounded if written by Donald Trump:

Sometimes countries have got to split up. God says so, everybody I talk to says so.

All men are created equal, it's true! Ask anybody. Especially me, I'm super equal. And, of course, some women are equal too.

Now we've all got rights - life, freedom, and trying to be happy.

Governments, but not bad governments like most of them, are supposed make this happen.

When there's a bad government, you've got to get rid of it.

The King of Great Britain is a bad King. Just bad. Bad!

He doesn't make good laws. He won't let his Governors make good laws.

He won't help his people, our people, good people, unless they bow down and lick his boots. Literally lick his boots. Sad!

He's rigging elections all over the place. He's got judges in his pocket, wads of notes changing hands in back-alleys. He's corrupt! So corrupt.

He owns the judges, they're in his back pocket. All the judges, he owns them.

His armies are all over our country. Soldiers everywhere, you can't feel safe.

Taxes are too high. I hate taxes, I don't pay any. Certainly not to the King. Bad King.

The courts are rigged, they're broken. Terrible, terrible justice system.

He's making our people fight each other. Americans fighting Americans, can you believe it? Sad.

He's helping the rebels, he's helping the Indians.

The Indians, they're crossing the border illegally - they're cruel, they're evil, they're rapists - some of them, I assume, are good people.

The King is a tyrant, and a dictator. Unelected. Very disappointing.

The King is killing us out here, we need to make better deals, we can't make our own deals. The King makes all the deals.

We've got to make America great. By being our own country. Making our own deals. We've got to...by becoming the United States of America.

https://youtu.be/CYJ1uo4Zv_4