Any hitters here? God it's so embarrassing. I only picked up the habit this past year but as you know with self harm it progresses quickly. Harder and harder than last time.

When you're worked up you can't tell how hard you're hitting. So I punched myself pretty hard in the sides of my head near the temples often. Plenty of times when dissociated or drunk so I don't really remember and def wasn't being cautious.

Thing is I've had this spark in my vision for a few months. Similar to migraine aura and also to those colorful spots you can see at night in the dark I saw when I was a kid. Like a neon pixel fixed in one spot in the lower section of my field of vision. I see it constantly and in both eyes (still there if ones closed)....

I went to the eye doc and they said all is fine. Not a detached retina.

I can't help but wonder if I fucked myself up with one of the times I'm sure I gave myself a concussion. I think I got 2 or 3 concussions from hitting in the past year. The last time was maybe 3 months ago and the vision thing started a month later.

I wonder if it's a brain injury. I see it mainly in the lower left portion of vision so I wonder if a blow to the right side of the head did it. I also get migraines on the right side.

I feel psychotic and paranoid but. Can anyone relate or have any advice? Helpful words? Thx