...as I was riding along the beach with Geralt of Rivera.

Across no man's sky flashed slides from my life

For each highly optimised and vibrant scene, I noticed two sets of horse footprints in the sand,

One belonging to my rig and one to Roach.

 

After the last slide of my life flashed before me, as majestic as New Vegas' ending,

I looked back at the footprints in the sand.

I noticed that at many times along the path of my life, even without quest markers,

and especially at the very lowest and saddest times when someone has to mention Fallout 4,

there was only one set of footprints.

 

This outraged me, so I yelled Geralt about it while spilling doritos on the floor.

"Geraldo, you said once I decided to follow PCMR,

you'd ride with me all the way.

But I noticed that during the saddest and most troublesome times of my life, when I had to share the same space as a console peasant,

there was only one set of footprints.

I don't understand why, when I needed You the most, You would rage quit our ranked match."

 

He whispered, "My precious child, I love you and will never leave you.

Never, ever, during your RPGs and space battles.

When you saw only one set of footprints,

It was then we had sex on a unicorn."