I remember in 2015 when I somewhat fell for the TERFs' mantras.

It was my senior year in high school. I have known I was different my whole life, and I have known I was trans since the 4th grade. However, I was out to no one until 2016.

Before coming out, I was doing plenty of research on how to deal with trans feelings. I live in a pretty conservative city.

I came across GenderCritical. They presented themselves as pretty liberal, and they were neither against gay people nor against gender nonconformity. The subreddit sidebar image seemed to be pretty logical to the uninformed.

I spent a good 5 months of my life "buying" the TERFs' advice to not transition. They suggested everything from seeing a "gender-critical therapist" to pretending that being trans doesn't matter. Some said "Dress how you want and don't give a fuck what anyone else says." Others said that it would be appropriation. Still others were okay with transition, so long as I call myself a "man."

They gave me "false hope." But I eventually realized the truth. I would always be trans. The TERFs were ignorant. No amount of their rationalization would make me not trans. It's not my personality. It's not a delusion. It's not a fetish. It is my gender.

I was self-loathing. Now I'm not. I am sorry.

I deleted my old account November 2015.

I was still afraid to admit to being trans, which is why my earlier posts on this new account say I'm a "cis ally." I was afraid of the TERFs being on my tail still.

In TERF's ideal universe, trans people wouldn't exist. We'd all either not transition, detransition, or die.

I am now proud to be trans. I will transition in August this year.

If I never snapped out of the TERFism, who knows where I'd be.

And if my parents were TERFs, who knows how much gaslighting I would receive.