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PSA: Don't ever be a rapist (self.DnD)

RomanticPanic が 投稿

It's astonishing that that needs to be said ever. If the d&d culture is ever confused why more women don't play its that 99/100 times the creepy complaints or concerns questioned in this sub generate from a girl (usually a new player) getting molested in game or some other shit

Fucking stop it.

Men or women being a piece of shit in game makes you a piece of shit out of game and that's it. I don't care if you think it's in character.

If your warped inbred little mind created a PC who was a rapist. Never play d&d again. Ever just quit.

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[–]zecron8 42 ポイント43 ポイント  (13子コメント)

Unfortunate that it needs to be said. DnD is a wonderful hobby with tons of possibility for great group experiences, but also tons of possibility for it to go horribly wrong. Just gotta remind yourself that if something like that happens it's the fault of the person, not the game.

[–]RomanticPanic[S] 9 ポイント10 ポイント  (8子コメント)

Exactly but it's hard to convey to someone.

One of my close friends who is absolutely gorgeous, tried d&d once via Craigslist. Needless to say she hasn't been to another game

[–]metacide 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Why was she using Craiglist of all things?

[–]RomanticPanic[S] 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

She wasn't sure where to find a group. I didn't know she was looking and have since offered her to join my group but she's still leery

[–]EarthAllAlongDM 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (5子コメント)

One of my close friends who is absolutely gorgeous

???

[–]RomanticPanic[S] 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (4子コメント)

What?

[–]Manwards84 12 ポイント13 ポイント  (3子コメント)

I think he's (either genuinely, or to be pedantic) not understanding the link between a girl being incredibly attractive and her having a bad experience with an all-male, socially inept D&D group.

[–]RomanticPanic[S] 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (2子コメント)

Ah maybe i should spell it out for them

[–]EarthAllAlongDM 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Please do. Please explain why it is "needless to say" that a group can't play with an attractive girl without driving her off.

You just got done agreeing that it's the fault of the person, not the game, when something goes wrong, and then you go ahead and stereotype everyone who plays DnD as being unable to play with an attractive woman without making her uncomfortable. So which is it?

[–]mthlmw 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Alternately, he was pointing out how terrible Craigslist is as a means of finding a group.

[–]HothHanSolo 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (3子コメント)

I agree, though the game certainly hasn't helped, historically speaking.

[–]HemicNecromancer 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Number 2 is a little reaching, but the people who do the weird shit described in OP and that OP from yesterday aren't going to be dissuaded by strong females on the cover and Seeing woman in scant clothing isn't going to encourage a normal person to do RP rape.

[–]Manwards84 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (1子コメント)

I dunno, artwork of a character with (maybe) slightly larger than average breasts doesn't seem to be advocating any kind of sexism to me, unless there's some obvious subtext I'm missing.

[–]Nowhereman123DM 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I think that if seeing a somewhat naked lady turns you into a rapist, it's not the picture of the somewhat naked lady's fault. You're just a psycho.

[–]Manwards84 15 ポイント16 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Well said. Blunt, and true. Dance around it all you want, but D&D is fantasy, and if your first, second or third idea of fantasy is raping women, then maybe you need to leave the hobby alone. And leave women alone, also. As OP said: fucking stop it.

[–]VictuzDM 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Doing awful things in the game is totally fine if you're doing it for kicks or because you are playing an evil game.

That is as long as no sex or sexual behaviour is involved.

Cutting off the leg of a farmer than stuffing the stump full of stinging ants and slowly roasting the man is fucked up but it might fly.

Raping the farmer will not fly.

[–]RomanticPanic[S] -1 ポイント0 ポイント  (0子コメント)

There's a difference between

"imma how molest that farmers daughter"

To

"I role for sneak to get into the house slowly climbing into her room, roll again for the pillow where i commerce.... " etc

[–]dennoucoil 10 ポイント11 ポイント  (8子コメント)

Popcorn time. This thread will be fun to watch.

[–]RomanticPanic[S] 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (7子コメント)

I'm pretty excited I've got my Mt dew and doritos

[–]Luzer606 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (6子コメント)

so you are just trolling

[–]sneakyequestrianDM 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (3子コメント)

Anyone who makes a post like this knows there will be people to jump to defend it. Completely serious post but hey there will be people victim blaming the girl who made front page yesterday saying its her fault for being too sensitive or that anyone should be able to play any game they want so its her fault for not knowing or for playing with them. And you know that kinda ridic can't be reasoned with so it's best to just laugh em off.

[–]HemicNecromancer 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (2子コメント)

Care to cross-link people saying that? I was in that thread and people were being supportive.

[–]sneakyequestrianDM 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Also here is one of the comments on the post from yesterday. https://www.reddit.com/r/DnD/comments/5lpbf7/is_there_such_a_thing_as_proper_etiquette_between/dbys9uc/?context=3

Not saying everyone is bad but whenever these posts circulate there's usually a few people who are like "LET EM PLAY THEIR OWN GAME" which is like ya know fine but it still makes me feel skeeved out that there are people who want to play Rape sessions that badly....

[–]sneakyequestrianDM -1 ポイント0 ポイント  (0子コメント)

They were in this thread I assumed that the comments were about the post yesterday but maybe they just meant in general.

[–]code-slothFighter 21 ポイント22 ポイント  (3子コメント)

The creeps that need to hear this will never see it unfortunately.

[–]RomanticPanic[S] -3 ポイント-2 ポイント  (2子コメント)

It's sad though there needs to be some group effort to teach nerds alike to be fucking normal

[–]HemicNecromancer 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Don't lob people into a basket like that, most "nerds" don't do this, I'm sorry you had a bad experience, I have too, but that doesn't mean you should lump everyone who plays this game into one basket.

[–]RomanticPanic[S] 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I didn't mean nerds as derogatory it's just how I refer to myself. I'm not trying to lump people Into a group but how often are other hobbies having to discuss how rape and making other people uncomfortable is bad?

[–]slaxman233 9 ポイント10 ポイント  (1子コメント)

unless your WHOLE group agrees this is the type of RP your shooting for. and by the sound of it you could find others who get down on that lol

[–]CrimsonEmber 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (1子コメント)

I agree about your main point but just because I made a villain who could be say, a serial killer (as a GM) then that doesn't mean that I am. If what your saying is true then just by playing this game your a piece of shit

[–]RomanticPanic[S] -3 ポイント-2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

No but there's a difference between being being graphically a rapist and just killing random npcs

[–]PatrollinTheMojaveDM 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Eh. You only really hear about it when it goes wrong. I'd wager these creepy D&D sessions are probably about one percent. Meanwhile, when its not pertinent, someone just says 'I had a great time' without mentioning gender.

[–]RomanticPanic[S] -1 ポイント0 ポイント  (0子コメント)

This is also true I suppose while it's pretty limited the results to the community are devastating

[–]lordofthefeedAssassin 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (1子コメント)

And, as a DM, call out players who make rape jokes/rape comments/whose characters rape. You're in a position of power and your voice means a lot—to your male and female players.

[–]RomanticPanic[S] 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I do and have kicked player ls out. But there needs to be a community standard that it's not acceptable

[–]Star_TropicDM 7 ポイント8 ポイント  (6子コメント)

And what about a DM adding a rapist NPC into the game?

[–]RomanticPanic[S] 17 ポイント18 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Pretty acceptable considering most people would want to just end that person.

Having a pc centered around detailed rape sessions is pretty psychotic

[–]-Mountain-King- 11 ポイント12 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Talk to the players about it first. You don't want to find it that someone has been raped and has PTSD by giving them a panic attack in the middle of a game.

[–]James-Sylar 8 ポイント9 ポイント  (0子コメント)

The DM can be considered a player while on control of a NPC, and unless the dm established from the start that it was that kind of story, and the players okey'd it, it is unaceptable.

[–]bv310Warlock 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (0子コメント)

It would be deeply uncomfortable, but if I can ram a spear down his urethra, it might work.

[–]De_Vermis_MysteriisDM 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

The DM needs to be really careful with this. Only way that would fly in my game is if it was an established dark game like Vampire or Deadlands and even then the NPC is going to be dead by the sessions end.

[–]tconners 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Social Contract, it still needs to be made sure everyone playing is comfortable with it.

[–]ronlugge 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (1子コメント)

If your warped inbred little mind created a PC who was a rapist. Never play d&d again. Ever just quit.

Sorry, gonna have to disagree -- unless you want to cut out murderers, assassins, bullies, and other standard evil party characters.

Now, if you want to romanticize that rapist, that's a horse of a different color.

[–]RomanticPanic[S] 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I suppose that's more of the line I was looking for but It was hard for me to convey

[–]J-roddy 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (1子コメント)

this is b8

[–]De_Vermis_MysteriisDM 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (2子コメント)

DMs should always have strict ground rules when recruiting players, and they should be laid out even before session 0. When recruiting I always mention acceptable and unacceptable behavior. I run a lot of games, and some are mature (OWoD Vampire for example) but as a DM I steer the game away from anything resembling sexual assault or such. Players know this as well, and I've always had a good 50/50 ratio in all my games of male to female. You end up with more balanced games for one, and more viewpoints are always good. Nobody feels outnumbered or alone either which goes a long way to building a good trusting RPG group.

[–]RomanticPanic[S] -1 ポイント0 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I play in a vampire larp for WoD and it gets weird at times but everyone knows what's just fucking wrong and not to do it

[–]GrimdalusPaladin 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I still have male orienated game and I still implement rules like that. Guess not enough girls play at gaming stores.

[–]TheRoguePrince 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I don't normally like to say "your fun is wrong" but in this case it is. Its inherently a social game, and indulging in ones rape fantasies is not socially acceptable.

[–]BillionTonsHyperboleDM 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (8子コメント)

There's a game out there for everyone. It's less about "You're doing it wrong" than it is about "You're in the wrong game."

[–]RomanticPanic[S] 10 ポイント11 ポイント  (3子コメント)

When an entire party of dudes takes time out of their game to molest and otherwise accoste them

You're doing it wrong

I mean if you want to condone PC rape let alone extended periods of time of NPC rape. Go play fatal

[–]BillionTonsHyperboleDM -2 ポイント-1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

It's shitty behavior, but it's also pretty clear which player didn't fit with the group. Some groups and some players will go out of their way to be assholes because that's the game they've set up. Whether that game serves as a vehicle for their puerile sexual frustrations or general assholishness is another matter entirely because those qualities would be present even if there were no game.

This is why it's important for everyone to discuss the sort of game they will be playing, expectations, and the tone of the campaign. You wouldn't go to a sushi restaurant and demand that the kitchen serve you steak; you'd check the menu first.

[–]Manwards84 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (3子コメント)

I guess it's fine for a bunch of like-minded guys to indulge their rape fantasies together via D&D? And by that I mean, it isn't, at all, but maybe I just don't have enough respect for the personal choices of men who think rape is a worthwhile fantasy.

[–]Zoesan 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

In a group of people that don't like it, it's probably the worst thing you can do.

But rape is an absurdly common fantasy in both men and women (both, err, "receiving" and "giving" sides), and keeping it in the fantasy realm is perfectly fine, as is evidenced by the Kink scene with the whole CNC stuff flying around there.

[–]BillionTonsHyperboleDM -2 ポイント-1 ポイント  (1子コメント)

It's probably best that you don't join those sorts of games, then. Generally, it's good advice not to hang out with groups of people whose behavior and morals you find to be reprehensible. This is why some people don't go to certain bars or clubs or churches as well. Your level of respect for them really isn't a factor to them; it's a choice you can make for yourself to satisfy your moral own obligations.

[–]Manwards84 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

We can definitely agree on that. I'm thankful that both of my D&D groups consist of normal people, most of whom have long-term girlfriends, who have respect for their fellow human beings.

[–]EvadableMoxie 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (5子コメント)

Sorry you had a bad experience. It usually doesn't need to be said, it's just that no one makes a post saying "We had a DnD session today and no one was a rapist" so when it does happen it's noticeable.

[–]RomanticPanic[S] 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (3子コメント)

Personally not me, I'm a dude so that level of weird doesn't happen often, though I've kicked people out of my own games and had it happen to friends. Also the amount of posts on this sub that have this issue

[–]De_Vermis_MysteriisDM 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (2子コメント)

As a DM who runs 50/50 split male/female games it can still happen. I've invited ransoms off reddit a few times in the past to check out the game and had really mixed and sometimes creepy results. Luckily these type of people usually don't even try and come back.

[–]CyberDaggerDM 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

You kidnap people to DM to?

[–]RomanticPanic[S] 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I got a couple Craigslisters both of which were awesome dudes. One was a pretty intimidating looking army broke, we get beers together now every couple of weeks.

The other was a gay dude, super pumped to play and one of my current players weirded him out by touching him a bunch (current player is an older gay guy) I kicked current player out for being fucking weird after calling him out on it

[–]Nundahl 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Right - this. Shitty people suck and it's easy to get a bent perspective on shitty people if that's all you read about/interact with. I've run and played in hundreds of games where no such thing was encountered... and two very awkward games where things did go very inappropriate and were very poorly handled by the players and GMs involved. If we talk about those two and only those two it paints a very poor picture of the hobby, but if we talked about how great my other games are frankly it would be pretty boring.

[–]minoe23Bard 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (2子コメント)

I don't mind there being characters of dubious morality, but should I make a character whose crimes extend beyond killing for money and thievery I check with everyone.

Of course there will always be a line. The character will never be a serial rapist, but rather it's something the character sees nothing wrong with doing should he have a potential victim. But the worst I personally have ever played is a serial killer.

[–]RomanticPanic[S] 8 ポイント9 ポイント  (1子コメント)

There's also a difference between Pcs and npcs

[–]minoe23Bard 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yeah. That's also an important thing to note. I'll steal from, murder, poison, drug, or leave other PCs for dead, but no character of mine will ever force themselves onto another PC.

[–]anix421 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (1子コメント)

I see some people trying to defend it and yes, if your group wants to do that, that's fine if everyone is on the same page... but they don't do it to each other that they have rapport with, they do it to the girl with whom they have no rapport. You can claim you are just joking but the only reason you find it funny is because you are making that girl uncomfortable. If I grab my girlfriend's butt thats okay because we have established over time that its okay. If i grab your girlfriends butt its not okay... By making that girl feel threatened by your attacks you are quite literally committing the crime of sexual assault. As others have stated, I can't believe this has to be stated.

[–]greyforyou 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (3子コメント)

What about my character, Bilbo Cosby, the lovable halfling rouge?

[–]Luzer606 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Is he friends with Bilbo Clinton?

[–]RomanticPanic[S] -2 ポイント-1 ポイント  (1子コメント)

I spit out mountain dew just now and it got right inside my bag of doritos

[–]QuietsYou 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (1子コメント)

I saw this browsing my all my subreddits; didn't realize it was for dnd, and was confused, I mean, it is good advice outside DnD too, but was just surprised to see it.

[–]RomanticPanic[S] 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'm just glad there's no way this will get upvoted to /r/all because then it could get a bit weird

[–]tgrendeBarbarian 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Speaking as a girl that this happened to on my first and second try with Dnd it needs to said loudly and boldky. I also would hope that if there is someone on the fence about it because of a bad experience PLEASE DO NOT GIVE UP. I now have the best party ever and the story is thought provoking and challenging in all the best ways. You will find the right party as long as you make it clear you won't deal with bullshit.

[–]RomanticPanic[S] 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

This, I'm really glad you stuck it out. D&d can be totally amazing

It's also not just about women, as a male character or male player if the shit your other players are doing isn't OK, fucking stop it.

[–]aspengroves 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Murderous Assassins? Ok, no problem.

Rapists? Oh Noes!

I mean, seriously, it's a fantasy role playing game. Do we all really believe that half-orcs are the progeny of a loving alpha male orc and a willing female?

If the group is ok with it, then who cares. Campaigns can run the gamut from lighthearted and campy to dark and creepy. Of course be considerate if there is a touchy subject with someone in the group, but one of the best things about DnD is that it isn't real life.

[–]sandusky11 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

This thread is making me horny.

[–]XhantossDM 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Oh boy, let's sort it by controversial.

[–]Exveggie 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Greasy nerds need to learn this lesson.