Here's the rub: Good relationships, the ones you want involve both sides making an effort.

If you feel the effort you're making isn't being reciprocated then it's time to reevaluate things.

I'm going out on a limb here and say that the good hearted are at risk of getting fucked over in a modern society where people are in it for themselves. This is why being MGTOW, and albeit a strong MGTOW is a solid framework for navigating these treacherous waters.

I've given this a lot of thought and usually what ends as you running after people starts off with you being compromised. So let's address this, these lessons are not something you learn and then forget about, you need to brush up on this shit, especially as you get older, you also get a bit softer.

1. Keep an extremely tight watch over the type of information people know about you. Make sure it's positive good stuff and that's it. DO NOT hand over any dirt.

2. If you're going through a rough patch, get the bare minimum amount of help and do your best to maintain a positive self image. Don't invite people into your life thinking they can improve it if you're fucked or on the rocks because when you do recover they have way too much dirt on you.

3. Consider EVERYONE who is fishing for weaknesses, or who tell you their weaknesses with raised suspicion. It's perhaps not a deliberate tactic, but that's when the shit starts, they'll tell you their shit, and then you feel obliged to divulge a bit of yours. Only now they have ammunition on you.

4. The world doesn't give a fuck about your problems. STOP telling people your problems and maintain a level of dignity and strength. Doesn't matter how shit you feel, DO NOT go telling people things you've done you're not proud of etc.

5. DO NOT do recreational drugs with anyone significant. Certainly NEVER anyone from work no matter how stand up you think they are.

6. Avoid drinking completely if you are prone to binge drinking and making an ass out of yourself, ending up in compromised situations or cringe worthy bullshit.

Ok all of these things certainly help prevent you running after people. Which is a mechanism a lot of the time caused by neglecting the above.

For example, once I moved to a quiet town for work. I knew no one and worked from home. I made one friend there. After a while I got massively depressed and started drinking a lot, pretty much daily. One person knew about this, this "friend". When I moved to a larger town. I quit my job, changed my life around, sorted out my shit etc. But I still had this skeleton in the closet, now as it turns out this "friend" no longer talks to me, and he knows people I work with in my new job. See the problem here?

Which leads me to -> At some point in your life you will decide you no longer want to keep fucking up, but you will at this point in time also have people around you who have dirt on you.

You need to make the call. Ditch all contact with these people and no matter what NEVER rekindle, or stay in contact. I believe there's often very little benefit in remaining in contact. Once someone believes something about you, it's very hard to change their mind. If you feel like now that you've changed / are more serious / have your shit together, they'll be very impressed, chances are they won't. Chances are they enjoyed having some power of you while you were down and they now see you with a bit of jealousy.

And at this point. I would really strongly urge you not to go running after these types.

Instead of getting all hurt later over the rejection, and also giving them the power to reject you. I would say be proactive about it.

Evaluate and ask yourself, is the relationship compromised i.e: Have they lost respect for you? If yes, ditch it and move on.

And remain vigilant going forward, not to compromise any current / future relationships.