I would really advise you to consider this.

I heard that my elementary school teacher (4 years teaching us alone) has got sick. It has been 1.5 decade since i met her first time and 2 years i saw her last time walking near river with her dog. She has 2 sons who both left the country and are age 30 and 25 or so.

My mother told me where can i find her and i called TAXI this morning since its big snow here. Women who treated me as her son when i was kid in bastard education society, is in bed, barely able to talk. I felt hopeless, I would give her liter of my blood but there is nothing i could do, its terminal.

Not that im not known with what sort of bastard life itself can be or is, but it put things into perspective. She is under 60, her sons are somewhere with their GF pretending that they care and that they are coming while she is all alone, gave 3.5 decades to kids like I once was and shaping us into decent people least to say.

My only advice for you is to get money. It wont solve all of your problems but it will shield you and protect you as far as its possible. This women among many others deserved more then this. Left alone on morphine. Fuck this society and medicine and family, everything is screwed!

Dont get fooled that you need to do this or do that, its wild west with makeup world. All you have from the begin to an end is yourself, grab that shield and dont trust anybody. Otherwise, you could end up losing against both society and life. Leave safe zone and do things as if you have nothing to lose. Im serious, this is right place to read this from someone who has been through alot and who is going to do alot. Start grinding from NOW, this moment, this year, dont get blindsided and demolished over night.