全 171 件のコメント

[–]Not-Homunculus 1228 ポイント1229 ポイント  (18子コメント)

Ahhh yes, I always sharpen my /r/mallninjashit before bed.

[–]AOMRocks20 340 ポイント341 ポイント  (10子コメント)

Ah, yes. Paul Blinja, Mall Ninja.

[–]FurryWolves 72 ポイント73 ポイント  (7子コメント)

Shhhhh! Don't give Kevin James ideas!

[–]Stubrochill17 60 ポイント61 ポイント  (6子コメント)

That fat clever bastard has already thought of more than you will ever dream of conceiving. Don't talk shit about Paul Flort: Mall Port.

[–]Modorox 33 ポイント34 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I heard he was teaming up with Tarantino to make Paul Bling: Mauling.

[–]s0c1a7w0rk3r 14 ポイント15 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Fucking hell yes I just subbed

[–]Shwinstet 20 ポイント21 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Respectfully, does that include the penis as well?

[–]chrscoast 46 ポイント47 ポイント  (2子コメント)

Yeah, okay, you sharpened a subreddit? /r/thatHappened

[–]Lostinyourears 12 ポイント13 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Perfect thing for that sub, make yourself famous kid!

[–]These-Days 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Ugh, you people have such little faith! /r/nothingeverhappens, amirite?

[–]ZKXX 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Ohhhohoho that's a good sub

[–]Ohigetjokes 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

OMG. Thank you. Thank you so much for that sub!

[–]Forum_ 435 ポイント436 ポイント  (56子コメント)

That weapon seems really .... unsafe; for the wielder that is.

Those spikes would impale on things, which would then limit the wielder's movements. I doubt this can perform the clean cutting action the post describes. Also why didnt the guy report this to the police? His badassery would be all over the news and the tresspasser would be picked up by the cops once he was released from the hospital.

Urgh. All these things just make the fact this is a $100% true story more epic. I salute you mods.

[–]DogtoothDan 129 ポイント130 ポイント  (15子コメント)

It is maybe the least well designed fictional weapons ever

[–]akkahwoop 115 ポイント116 ポイント  (5子コメント)

I think the idea is that it's a mark of pride to be able to use it, because it's so difficult to wield effectively. The Klingons are long past the point of needing to use melee weapons, but they still have cultural significance as they're a warrior race.

[–]Louis_Farizee 50 ポイント51 ポイント  (4子コメント)

Yup. Klingons are fucking dumbasses who wouldn't last five minutes in a war against any of the major 20th century human powers (assuming the had access to warp technology).

[–]holodog 11 ポイント12 ポイント  (0子コメント)

See: That ds9 episode where they attack the station, beaming in with blade weapons raised only to be instantly phasered by security.

[–]TamponShotgun 18 ポイント19 ポイント  (0子コメント)

But the writing trope is: "advanced culture is so good at hand to hand combat that they can use a ridiculous, nonsense weapon effectively". It's a lazy writer's shortcut to "show not tell" but it just creates a plot hole that non-fans can easily sniff out. Die hard fans defend the plot hole as "brilliant writing" but it's really nonsense.

Before anyone gets mad, I'm a huge Star Trek fan, but you can still love the show and critique it's bad writing concepts.

[–]GhostSheSends 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

You guys are talking like people who don't want to keep their hands attached to their bodies.

[–]InvisibleEar 33 ポイント34 ポイント  (7子コメント)

Klingons are fucking dumbasses though so it's appropriate.

[–]G-lain 18 ポイント19 ポイント  (6子コメント)

Legit, how the fuck did they get into space?

[–]Lying_idiot 13 ポイント14 ポイント  (3子コメント)

by treating their scientists just good enough so that they could invent stuff, appearently.

[–]badcgi 19 ポイント20 ポイント  (2子コメント)

According to their lore, in their past, anyone who was attempting to excel at their field, whether it be in fighting or science, was highly honoured. The honour came from contributing to the advancement of the klingons as a whole. It was only "recently" that the idea that only warriors are honourable and the fixation on war and fighting came to be dominant in their society.

[–]ObsidianOrangutan 12 ポイント13 ポイント  (1子コメント)

So basically modern Klingons are like medieval reenactors who think they're really cool but have no idea what they are doing?

[–]swimshoe -1 ポイント0 ポイント  (0子コメント)

They're the alien equivalent of "nice guys".

[–]khafra 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

My opinion is that they were uplifted by the Salarians to fight the Rachni.

[–]caribou16 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

It is at least a bit more functional looking on the show....doesn't look like it will accidentally stab the weirder in the face.

http://memory-alpha.wikia.com/wiki/Bat'leth

[–]maybesaydieWhy am I not in the modbox on the front page? Dammit.[M] 177 ポイント178 ポイント  (8子コメント)

He forgot to mention that his own shirt was torn to shreds and he required 34 stitches to various cuts and abrasions.

[–]hermaphroditegoat 73 ポイント74 ポイント  (2子コメント)

Also forgot the applauding crowd outside handing him money! And... let's just say he's not a virgin anymore ;)

[–]ixiduffixi 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Also, the thief threw $100 bills at him.

[–]db2 10 ポイント11 ポイント  (0子コメント)

So he was a Klingon and Kirk simultaneously? Amazing!

[–]surfmaster 21 ポイント22 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yeah that's the sort of thing that's far more dangerous for the wielder than any potential target.

[–]AsthmaticActivist 15 ポイント16 ポイント  (5子コメント)

someone robbed a convenience store in Colorado with one a few years ago.

[–]DemonicSquid 20 ポイント21 ポイント  (2子コメント)

...by impaling tins of soup on the spiky bits and running off.

[–]AsthmaticActivist 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (1子コメント)

really?! I just remember hearing about it in passing, I don't think I would even be mad if I was the cashier

[–]DrStalker 9 ポイント10 ポイント  (1子コメント)

If I was in a store and a robber came in with any sort of bladed weapon they can have the money. The bosses insurance can cover it, I don't care if it's a proper combat knife or some mall ninja piece of shit. Being dangerous to the person holding it doesn't make it safe for the people he's swinging it at!

[–]AsthmaticActivist 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (0子コメント)

oh, yeah for sure, I'm not putting any bit of my self on the line for 8.50 an hour lol.

[–]launcher87 27 ポイント28 ポイント  (7子コメント)

This is how youre supposed to use that weapon though (i am aware the star trek lore is wrong on this one):

-You hold it with both hands fully stretched out in front of you and the blade in horizontal position

-you charge at the poor soul who dared to threaten your and your familys safety

-when you get close, you leap into the air, tuck your legs in between your arms, planting your feet on the handle

-then you push out with your legs as hard as you possibly can, while at the same time releasing your hands off the handle

-if executed correctly, the blade should fly out, severing your opponent in half

[–]j1mb0b 28 ポイント29 ポイント  (4子コメント)

I think you might be over estimating the ability of the average human owner to leap.

[–]Ruckus35 23 ポイント24 ポイント  (0子コメント)

The weapon wasn't created with a human wielder in mind.

[–]KToff 8 ポイント9 ポイント  (2子コメント)

Aren't you just the life of the party.... go take your facts elsewhere.

[–]R00t240 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Haven't you heard? There's no such thing as facts anymore.

[–]DatsButterBoo 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

not true facts are still around.. we're just working with their flexibility it's called Fact Yoga.

[–]Forum_ 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

instructions unclear, fell on the floor and broke my ass.

[–]Damadawf 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Well the Klingons are written to be a warrior race that is known more for their might than for their intellect.

[–]squigs 7 ポイント8 ポイント  (10子コメント)

The basic design of the Bat'leth seems to sort of make sense - at least superficially to someone like me who knows little about weapons. It can defend easily and can be used one handed more like a normal sword. When Worf uses it in ST:TNG the choreography looks plausible.

The one in the picture seems to prevent this sort of use. Spikes all over the place!

[–]Louis_Farizee 46 ポイント47 ポイント  (9子コメント)

Okay. All cutting weapons can be categorized by their three major functions: choppy, stabby, and slashy. Lots of cutting weapons could do more than function. For example, some swords were designed to have a stabby bit at the end and a slashy bit at the edges. Your fighting style will be greatly influenced by what function you intend to use at the moment. For example, if you wanted to stab, you would thrust the tip of the sword towards an unarmored bit of your opponent, like the throat or the eye. If you wanted to slash, you would kind of swing the sword across, catching the edge of the sword on the chest or legs or arms. If you wanted to chop, you'd have to swing the sword down like a cleaver. All this is being done as your opponent is trying to do something similar to you, probably. Therefore, human cutty thing operators (swordsmen) are trained to make moves that keeps the sharp parts of their swords as far from their own bodies as possible, so that their opponents would need to reach into the place where the sword is moving around in order to do any damage of their own. Therefore, a swordsman creates a zone of fucking death (ZFD) of arm length + effective sword length. (AL+eSL=ZFD).

Now that you know this, you can begin to see why the Batleth is a fucking stupid weapon designed by and for morons. The slashy bits have an eSL of the edges of the Batleth (which is curved away from the opponent, because fuck winning) and the choppy bits are in the center of the damn thing, giving it an eSL of basically zero. So the ZFD ends up being arm length plus half the length of the weapon!

But wait, that's only half the problem!

Many human sword-swinging cultures spend a lot of time thinking about defense. In cultures that primarily rely on choppy swords, that means wearing plate armor (usually). In cultures that primarily rely on stabby or slashy or stabby-slashy swords, that often means carrying a shield of some kind. Klingons, who tragically seem to suffer from testosterone poisoning, were all "fuck that, shields are for pahtaks" and decided to do without. Well, here's the thing about human cultures that didn't use shields: they wielded swords that were, like, super fucking long and ridiculously heavy (two common characteristics of choppy-type swords), and they did it while wearing big heavy suits of armor that hopefully protected the most important shit like your arms and legs and face. Which meant that the ZFD was ridiculously wide, and that if anything got into the ZFD, they'd have a hard time damaging anything important.

Conclusion: the Batleth is a ceremonial weapon designed to look cool but not much else. A squad of Klingons can likely be defeated in combat by a Roman legionnaire, a knight in plate armor, or possibly even a bravo with sword and buckler.

Extensive use of the Batleth, and the amount of importance Klingon culture obviously places on the Batleth and the amount of time they spend learning and practicing Batleth combat is proof, to me, that the Klingons have been decadent for a long time.

[–]maczirarg 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (1子コメント)

I guess it would only be very effective in a fist fight.

[–]Louis_Farizee 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Or an opponent with a Batleth.

[–]billyhtchcoc 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (0子コメント)

The funny thing is that the Bat'leth shown in the above image isn't even a standard design for a bat'leth that we see used in the series.

This is the standard look of a Bat'leth, which makes a lot more sense under what you were describing.

[–]Auctoritate 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (3子コメント)

But would it not function against an opponent with the same tool?

[–]TamponShotgun 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (1子コメント)

So you're saying that the bat'leth was designed exclusively for fighting with other bat'leths? What a terrible weapon designer when a melee weapon's weakness is "any other melee weapon in the galaxy".

[–]Auctoritate 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (0子コメント)

It's ceremonial. It's only meant for fighting other ones.

[–]Louis_Farizee 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Absolutely it would. But a survey of human military history shows that many cultures were constantly tinkering with their weapons and they way those weapons were used, looking for any advantage over their opponents. Sometimes, that tinkering took generations. Sometimes, it took weeks. But if a human society had outfitted their soldiers with batleths, the society next door would have invented rapiers pretty damn quick, and the batleth wielding society would have been crushed. Well, stabbed, anyway.

An exception would be militarized societies that placed far too high a premium on the bravery and skills of their warriors, yet faced no realistic external threats. In those circumstances, ritualistic wars could be fought with needlessly complicated weapons and tactics designed to make the warriors look and feel cool but not useful for much else. One example of a Klingon-like society was the Azteks and their flower wars: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flower_war

And we all know what happened when the Azteks met the conquistadors, right? That's right: they absolutely stomped the Azteks' asses (with the help of tens of thousands of allied tribes who'd been crushed by the Azteks long ago and were itching for some payback).

[–]Crushmonster123 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Also who the fuck picks locks

[–]TamponShotgun 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

"I'm just gonna stand in front of this house for ten minutes picking the lock expertly instead of OPENING/BREAKING A WINDOW like a normal THIEF."

[–]Liberatedhusky 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

The idea is it's like a wierd cross between a sword, an axe, and a Katar, the hand grips are roughly the width of a human, so yeah wildly impractical and not sharp at all.

[–]Metaphoricalsimile 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

That weapon seems really .... unsafe; for the wielder that is.

Look at it compared to the concrete it's laying on. It's like 5" wide, max. It's not unsafe for anyone. My guess is it was made to be worn as a pendant or something.

[–]Xervicx 139 ポイント140 ポイント  (13子コメント)

I can't believe it. I've finally gotten to that point where I've seen a friend's Facebook post in the wild. This particular friend grew more and more obsessed with the idea that if they had weird and dangerous looking weapons, that made them cool and made them seem tough. And they wrote a post worded pretty similarly to this, with this same weapon, on their wall quite a long time ago. So either they posted it somewhere else as well, or someone took it either as Poe's Law thing, or as a way to pretend to be the pretender. Which is a really weird concept.

[–]BatmansUglyCousin 38 ポイント39 ポイント  (6子コメント)

The bat'leth in the photo is taken off of an Etsy page. Either your friend is the blacksmith who's making and selling them and he just used a photo he'd already taken in his Facebook post, or he doesn't actually have a bat'leth.

[–]GenaricName 24 ポイント25 ポイント  (1子コメント)

I think u/Xervicx was saying that the picture in his friend's post was not the same picture as the one in this thread. So someone essentially rephrased u/Xervicx's friend's post with a different picture of the same weapon and posted it somewhere.

[–]Xervicx 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yeah, that's about the size of it. This was a while ago too, so it might not have even been the exact same design, but it definitely was similarly "bladey".

[–]fuckyeahpeace 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

didn't say was same photo

[–]airborneleaf 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Either your friend is the blacksmith who's making and selling them

They aren't made by blacksmiths. Cheap shitty wallhangers are just cut out of sheet stainless steel.

[–]PM_ME_BELLY_BUTTONS 12 ポイント13 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Pics or it didnt happen.

[–]Xervicx 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Unfortunately this was ages ago and I removed them from my Facebook feed. They were the kind of person that, when you hung out with them, would try to spend two hours showing you their weapons and explaining how they could kill an intruder with it. It gets annoying after a while. We all have a friend like that.

My very comment is /r/thatHappened material, and since I don't have any proof, doubt away!

[–]grubas 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (3子コメント)

I have a large knife collection. But they are things like Remington's, CRKT and a few old Gerber's. Somebody has a katana on wall and you just know they would end up stabbing themselves. If you have KA-BARs on the wall that's just disturbing.

[–]GlaringBox 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (2子コメント)

I live in a bad neighborhood so I bought a crowbar. I don't know shit about swords and the only thing I want is to be able to get out of my house without being stabbed.

[–]grubas 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (1子コメント)

I have a camping gear addiction. My old apartment I had a baseball bat by my bed.

[–]GlaringBox 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Ah, that explains it. I used to have a geologist's hammer (for hobby). Last year we had lots of burglaries. One of my neighbors chased them off with a baseball bat. I needed something in case he wasn't home.

[–]maybesaydieWhy am I not in the modbox on the front page? Dammit.[M] 221 ポイント222 ポイント  (15子コメント)

Oh for the love of God, not the Klingon weapon!!!

Can confirm. I picked the hand still gripping the gun from the floor. I don't know why OP didn't take a picture of it.

[–]Snackolich 143 ポイント144 ポイント  (6子コメント)

The Bat'leth is almost a purely ceremonial weapon. If you're Klingon and wanna stab a dude you use a mek'leth or a d'k tahg. I don't know why this isn't common knowledge.

[–]tantrrick[🍰] 102 ポイント103 ポイント  (3子コメント)

I played d'ck tag with a dude the other day

[–]Faustias 14 ポイント15 ポイント  (1子コメント)

I imagine adult men running around playing tag, only touching crotches to become 'it'.

[–]sidewinderucf 11 ポイント12 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Well, I mean, I can think of one.

[–]ragexlfz 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

d'k tahg

How the hell are you supposed to pronounce that?

[–]Nemoswang 17 ポイント18 ポイント  (6子コメント)

With all of the adrenaline coursing through his veins he forgot.

edit: my bad

[–]Niekisch 50 ポイント51 ポイント  (5子コメント)

Durr, Captain Stupid coming through!! Klingons don't have adrenaline, DUMMY. They have tok'Pah, a completely different neurotransmitter peculiar to their own unique physiology. DUH!!! What kind of LOSER doesn't know this?? PLEASE edit your post so that both you AND the rest of us are spared the embarrassment of your ignorance.

[–]Nemoswang 17 ポイント18 ポイント  (3子コメント)

oh my bad.

[–]Niekisch 18 ポイント19 ポイント  (2子コメント)

Buy' ngop! See you don't make that mistake again, or you may end up like Morath after his encounter with Kahless on the Kri'stak volcano!!!! Hab SoSli' Quch!!

[–]skylenorman 24 ポイント25 ポイント  (0子コメント)

That wasn't very honerable. You can't claim Qapla when you suckerpunched someone like that.

[–]rocknroe_v_wade 22 ポイント23 ポイント  (2子コメント)

A true warrior faces his opponents when he fights them, and is not a cowardly p'tak like this. Besides, the mek'leth is a far superior weapon!

[–]Stateswitness1 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (1子コメント)

I am far more bothered by them calling that Bat'leth than what they assuredly did with it.

[–]clown-penisdotfart 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

There are a lot of people who know a lot about Klingon stuff in this thread. I'm impressed.

[–]rushclay 15 ポイント16 ポイント  (0子コメント)

They say you can find everything on Google but I can't find how much force is required to sever a hand at the wrist. More than could be generated by throwing that poorly-balanced coat hanger for certain.

My analysis of the handholds leads me to believe that the center grip can't be used at all, and the outer grips will result in it piercing the underside of your your forearm, sticking there during the follow-thru and clattering to the floor.

[–]squigs 12 ポイント13 ポイント  (0子コメント)

So... what was the criminal's goal here? Burglars tend not to use guns. They want to get in and out without being seen.

Clearly this was an assassination attempt. The infiltrator was part of section 31and this particular Klingon knew something he shouldn't.

[–]RocketGirl215 11 ポイント12 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Why does his house keep getting broke into when he is obviously an arm-chopping ninja?

[–]GeneralDisorder 8 ポイント9 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Revenge for the previously severed hands, I would imagine.

[–]idgafwur 18 ポイント19 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Says the creepy guy who spends nights home alone sharpening that ridiculous thing.

[–]Demoth 8 ポイント9 ポイント  (5子コメント)

This reminds me of story of that college kid who killed some homeless guy, who broke into his garage, with a katana. Shit was all over the news.

http://articles.baltimoresun.com/2009-09-16/news/0909150076_1_samurai-sword-samurai-weapon-pontolillo

I can't imagine someone Luke Skywalker-ing someone with a Star Trek weapon, and the news just shrugging, unless this took place on like, 9/11/2001.

[–]senorworldwide 9 ポイント10 ポイント  (4子コメント)

A katana is basically a sword though, which is absolutely an actual death-dealing dangerous weapon. This thing in the picture... not so much.

[–]mocha__ 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (2子コメント)

I'm sure you could kill someone with this, if there are actual blades. You'd get fucked up in the process, but it could be done.

[–]senorworldwide 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (1子コメント)

It could be done, but it would probably be easier to use a steak knife than this thing. Hell, you can kill someone with a pencil if you can get them to hold still long enough lol

[–]mocha__ 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Exactly. You can kill someone with just about anything.

[–]Demoth 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

No, I know a katana is far more practical than a bladed pussy deflector. It's still one of those things where you'd expext it to be a ThatHappened story. "I watched Ninja Scroll for the tenth time that day, and some baka gaijin decided he'd attempt to dishonor my home. I grabbed my Japanese steel, folded over two million times, and used a forbidden blade technique, cutting him clean in half".

Only it was actually just a college student running some dude through.

[–]jamiehlake 7 ポイント8 ポイント  (1子コメント)

And the neighbors clapped

[–]MadMaxx82 15 ポイント16 ポイント  (0子コメント)

The thief didn't anymore

[–]Jonestown_Juice 7 ポイント8 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Seems like a guy cutting off an intruder's hand with a Klingon weapon would make the news.

[–]rushclay 9 ポイント10 ポイント  (0子コメント)

It's possible that he is an actual Klingon and that's his personal weapon. The government is suppressing this incident because they're not willing to admit that aliens are among us. I heard that Obama is one of the Lizard People.

[–]Mred12 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (0子コメント)

That thief would be dead from blood loss in under 15 minutes. Losing a limb isn't a "I'll get you gadget!" moment irl.

[–]billyhtchcoc 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (0子コメント)

That's.... not even a real Bat'leth.

This is what a Bat'leth is supposed to look like.

[–]EPIKGUTS24 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Obvious satire

[–]Dkmistry23 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Right? I thought I was going crazy seeing all the comments going along as if this is real.

[–]mikehawk69420 9 ポイント10 ポイント  (2子コメント)

And that thief's name? Albert Einstein!

[–]matteussz 18 ポイント19 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Albert Einhand

FTFY

[–]daughterof-thezodiac 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (3子コメント)

And the poor their could never jerk off again.

[–]GeneralDisorder 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (0子コメント)

You should definitely practice both skills with both hands. You never know if you might be involved in a really sexy execution or sexy self defense scenario. Or if you're having sex and some burglar interferes you can't be expected to fight them off with blue balls.

Gotta prepare for everything.

[–]PeenuttButler 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (1子コメント)

And never be able to participate public clapping

[–]Niekisch 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

BUT there is a silver lining - he may finally find out the answer to that ancient riddle: What is the sound of one hand clapping?

[–]senorworldwide 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

That thing has so many sharp ends on it you'd be more likely to stab yourself than defend yourself with it.

[–]Tankotone 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Was he sitting under the fucking door or what. How'd he notice the guy walking in, stand up, and then dash over to slice all before the invader shot him.

[–]Nova178 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

No, the guy picked the lock and then cracked the door open to show his gun before he walked in. That's just common courtesy when you're burgling someone

[–]biggustdikkus 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

That thing can't cut a hand in one slice though..

[–]NoMaturity 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (2子コメント)

Can Confirm! This happened in Spokane, WA! search it up!

[–]mocha__ 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (1子コメント)

All I could find is something in PA where a man was attacked in his sleep by intruders and he attacked back with a machete.

[–]grubas 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Everybody's the best defense against home intrusion is to appear to be insane. A man in boxers welding a machete is not somebody I'd waste time on.

[–]x3La2A 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

R/IamVeryBadass

[–]villafania21 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

You can't claim Qapla when you suckerpunched someone like me who knows little about weapons.

[–]Deathaster 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Satire/parody.

[–]Glitter_berries 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

It was probably his mum bringing his clean laundry into his weird, smelly room :( poor mum.

[–]SSlackhelmetman 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

While you were busy being a p'tahk I was studying the bat'leth for gik'tal.

[–]griffin8116 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

This isn't even a nice bat'leth. I prefer the traditional style, or perhaps the Sword of Kahless.

[–]zezima007 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

PROTECTING M'LADY WITH MY BAT'LETH!

[–]Shrapnel77 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

How do you even attack with that thing? do you punch, stab or slash with it? It just looks like its terrible at all of those methods..

[–]Yetis 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

My older friend has had one being made for him for over 4 years now. He commisioned it but 4 years it kind of crazy.....

[–]MzDemonKitty 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Ew what did they do with the severed hand?

[–]Charlatanry 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (0子コメント)

It started applauding.

[–]starkillerrx 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

teleports behind you

Pshhh... pagh ghotal... puq...

[–]ricexzeeb 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

The best part is that he thought the most interesting thing to post was a picture of his gas station sword and not the severed hand holding a glock.

[–]Mech528 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Gecko45? That you?

[–]yourunconscious 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

It's always a glock

[–]JimmyShoes11 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Bullshit that happened...

[–]AllPurposeNerd 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

That thing looks ridiculous even for a bat'leth.

[–]optionallycrazy 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

The problem with these swords is that they look very strong and sharp. But reality is they are made of very cheap metal and chances are wouldn't hold up in a fight for very long. Unless you paid upwards to the 1000s of dollars range, you probably wouldn't want to rely on it for self-defense.

[–]omnishazbot 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Thats not a Batleth.

[–]doodadoodoo 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

To be a real Klingon warrior like Worf he would have needed to lose the first fight to show that the enemy of the week is a credible threat.

[–]HughJorgens 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I have a theory that Klingons are pussies. Whenever Worf fought other Klingons, he tore through them like like a Bat'leth through a robber's hand, but whenever anybody beamed onto the bridge of the Enterprise, which happened a lot, he was the first one taken out. Even a couple of nervous Ferengi with handguns could shut him down.

[–]bravesgeek 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

That's not even a bat'leth prop. That's some homemade disaster.

[–]dogfacedboy420 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I believe him yo! I don't know why but I do.

[–]abuttandahalf 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

How did he lnow that it was a 9mm glock? Just casually reading it off the gun in the split second it would take for him to throw his trash at the guy?

[–]wolfman86 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Who would be stupid enough to believe those little blades could cut anything more than your finger nails?

[–]TheRoRo1971 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

That thief's name? I think you know....