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Want to MGTOW, Don't want to CUCK (self.MGTOW)

originalimagination が 投稿

I'm not MGTOW, but I'm working on getting there. I'm posting to try and get some help and perspective.

If you asked anyone who knows my wife and I, they would all say that no one controls me. My wife of 11 years tries, but I shut that shit right down. I make the money, she cooks, cleans and cares for the kids.

She has no skills and only wants to have more kids - just to further her own cushy lifestyle. I had a vasectomy 6 years ago and I lied to her for about 5 acting like I was sorry I did it. This last year I stopped lying and told her it would never be reversed.

I've read "The Manipulated Man", and that helped me see what she has been trying to make me do and why she is so desperate for more kids. Fuck that.

We got married young (18+19 non-military) and had kids young because we thought it would be nice to have no kids in the house in our 40's. I know, I'm a dumbass.

Here is where I need help. I want to be on my own. I don't mind my boys, but I am sick of dealing with her and her shit. I absolutely know my quality of life would improve significantly.

I'm on the fence now for one reason: I know she will remarry and then some fucking dick will be involved with my two kids at least 50 percent of the time. I really don't like that and I feel like I would be a cuck for allowing some man to come in and influence them.

I'm looking for perspective around that. What do you guys think? How has that worked out for the guys who are divorced with kids who are now MGTOW?

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[–]good_man_gone 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (2子コメント)

Fuck that. I want to be on my own

It aint that simple sir. You made up your mind about this whole deal and you want out, right?

You will have all the guy support which you can possibly get on this part of the internet. 100% no doubt. But you sir absolutely must talk to a lawyer to get a realistic legal perspective on your individual situation.

By how you described your wife

She has no skills and only wants to have more kids - just to further her own cushy lifestyle

there is a big possibility that she'll want to take you to the cleaners and take your money and belongings if given the legal oportunity.

All the best to you!

PS: Try finding a "guy friendly" lawyer who wont charge you initially for having a few informative talks with him. Look for a guy who you can talk to and feel comfortable calling or e-mailing etc. because he will be your lifeline once things get rolling.

[–]UglyPrince2000 [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

Having a kid is like the worst STD you can get! I rather date a girl with herpes than a girl with a kid to be honest.

[–]Eyes_Of_The_Dragon 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (1子コメント)

My ex has not remarried and doesn't even have a steady boyfriend that I can tell. The kids have never met anyone she was dating. But we're in our 40s.

As far as a new guy coming in, don't underestimate the power of "You're not my dad!" If you have a strong bond with your kids, that won't go away when she's with someone new.

And if she's desperate for more babies, she's going to have them with your consent or not, and you're on the hook as long as you're legally her husband.

[–]Folwart 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (1子コメント)

I would look into building a case for full custody. It is rarer for men, but does happen. Like the other poster said, professional legal advice should be sought.

As far as MGTOW, some self proclaimed purists say that you can't be married and MGTOW. They aren't a rational bunch. There is a period of time between one awakening and escaping tgere situation wherein their mindset is of a MGHOW. GYOW is a mindset, it only requires your own firm internal commitment to change the way you think and behave, to not live the life you have been living anymore and building the one you do want.

[–]HIGHLORDOFSHITSTAINS 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I HIGH.. LORD.. OF.. SHIT STAINS SALUTES.. YOU SIR!!!!!

"Inch by inch." Is a post someone did on here. Epic shit.

One of the reasons why I'm single is because of games, bullshit, covert strategy shit that they do to get you and KEEP DOING even after they get you.

WELCOME BROTHER!!!

[–]bdf39 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Divorce can fuck kids up especially if she gets custody.

[–]DWShimoda 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'm not MGTOW,

It's important that you realize that.

but I'm working on getting there. I'm posting to try and get some help and perspective.

OK, here's where the TOUGH LOVE, and HARD REALITY is going to have to hit you SQUARE between the eyes.

You're also NOT going to "become" MGTOW anytime soon.

PERIOD.

If you "divorce" well you will STILL be (at least partially) "supporting" a woman (and the kids) -- and of necessity that woman will STILL be a fairly important PART of (and like it or not "manipulative influence" in and around) your life -- there is virtually NO WAY for her to NOT be. You're "stuck" in a non-MGTOW situation until those kids are adults.

Yes, it MIGHT be possible to take steps to reduce/minimize your involvement with her (say some super-ideal scenario where YOU gain primary custody of the kids and SHE only gets "visitation" rights) -- but regardless she's STILL going to be around. (Oh and given what you've stated here -- THIS SCENARIO AIN'T HAPPEING YOU WON'T BE GETTING FULL CUSTODY -- don't even THINK for a minute that you will... the scenario you painted, SHE would/will get FULL custody, and {at best} you will get "visitation" rights while paying both child support AND alimony.)

That was "baked into the cake" when you had kids; and there is no way (no ETHICAL/MORAL WAY) to change that.

Here is where I need help. I want to be on my own.

You can't always get what you WANT.

Sorry, but you can't "erase" the past. You need to DEAL with and be responsible for the CONSEQUENCES of your past choices/decisions/actions.

Sometimes that means standing there like a jackass in a rainstorm and just ENDURING it.

I don't mind my boys, but I am sick of dealing with her and her shit. I absolutely know my quality of life would improve significantly.

The quality of YOUR life... but what about the quality of your CHILDREN'S lives?

Seriously. Whether you understood it at the time -- CHOOSING to become a father means you made a COMMITMENT to those children -- to protect them, to provide for them, to raise them, and to make SACRIFICES in regards to your OWN wants/needs to that end.

You will also NOT necessarily be the ONLY one who gets to choose what WILL or WILL NOT be "sacrificed" by you -- that's the SCARY part that ought to stop more people from becoming parents, that "commitment" you made (again whether you actually REALIZED it or not) was essentially ambiguous, open-ended, and virtually life long (certainly multiple DECADES long).

...

I'm on the fence now for one reason: I know she will remarry and then some fucking dick will be involved with my two kids at least 50 percent of the time. I really don't like that and I feel like I would be a cuck for allowing some man to come in and influence them.

That is indeed a possibility -- in fact statistically it's so much of a probability, that it's virtually a certainty.

Doubtless your wife is giving you some crap/attempting to persuade/manipulate/use you towards her OWN ends, etc. That's NORMAL. There is NOTHING shocking about that -- nothing necessarily EVIL either -- this is what people DO with each other. (Boss/employee, Store/customers, etc).

But on the OTHER hand, it sounds like your wife is (relatively speaking) a DECENT WOMAN -- and that she's holding up HER end of the deal.

Personally I think you're COMPLAINING ABOUT A LOT OF NOTHING -- you're acting/thinking like a CHILD rather than a responsible ADULT MAN -- you're engaging in "grass is greener" bullshit.

And you need to QUIT IT.