Trump Suffers Flare Up Of Bone Spurs, May Result In Deferment From Presidency

Same condition that exempted him from military service could force him to miss taking office

The recurrence of his heel spur condition has forced the president-elect to take off his shoes and put his feet up to relieve the agonizing pain he experiences daily. His podiatrist sees no way he can lead the nation in this condition.

President-Elect Donald Trump has been hobbled for more than a week with a flare-up of bone spurs in his heels, the same condition that resulted in him getting a medical deferment from the Vietnam War.

Mr. Trump experienced a recurrence of his bones spurs in the late 1970’s severe enough that he had to float, rather than walk, from place to place.

I don’t like what I’m seeing here,” said Mr. Trump’s personal podiatrist, Dr. Abraham Pedlosse. “The president-elect is in severe pain and can barely swing a golf club. No man alive could keep up with the daily demands of the presidency in Mr. Trump’s condition — there is no ailment more painful than bone spurs.”

Dr. Pedlosse says he is in consultation with other foot specialists from around the world to see what kind of relief, either surgical or medical, they can recommend. “Right now I’m telling the president-elect that it’s touch-and-go as far as him assuming office on January 20th and, as much as I hate to say this, the condition might require him to resign the presidency. I simply don’t want him to jeopardize his 4-handicap, a medical assessment he seems to be taking well.”

The Trump transition team has been meeting daily at the bedside of the president-elect and is hoping he can recover in time to use a walker at the inauguration and wear well-cushioned orthopedic shoes while in office.

The president-elect says he feels incredibly lucky that his heel spurs occurred after high school, so he could finish the varsity basketball season, but skip the Vietnam War.

“The president-elect is determined not to let his severe bone spur condition prevent him from taking office,” said Trump spokeswoman Kellyanne Conway. “He reminded us that JFK lived with crippling back pain while in office and FDR led the country from a wheelchair. ‘If they could do it,’ he told us, ‘then DJT can grit his teeth, put on a pair of puffy slippers, and make America great again!’”

The transition team said it would make a statement at 7:00am daily about the president-elect’s medical status. “If Mr. Trump decides he must relinquish his office due to the acute nature of his heel spurs, we will make that announcement on January 15th,” said Ms. Conway.

An x-ray taken Friday of Donald Trump’s right heel. Dr. Pedlosse says the bone spurs on his feet are “unusually large for a man with his small hands.”

American citizens are, of course, waiting with great anticipation for a favorable outcome to this situation. An informal Harris poll conducted over the weekend indicated that more than 70% of Americans agreed with Dr. Pedlosse, that Mr. Trump should not risk his golf handicap over something like the U.S. presidency. Pollsters were moved by the nation’s obvious concern for its new president.

If you enjoyed this piece, please tap the heart button to recommend it to others. And follow me if you’d like a daily dose of warped humor. Thanks for reading. — AI