I’m coming here from the ‘manosphere’ side of the house. I messaged the mods to see if they had a problem with me providing links to posts I’ve written on saving deadbedrooms as well as finding joy & fun w/ a woman you see every day. They told me my message would be sexist, I think the community should decide.

I’m here as a man who writes to help other men reclaim their genuine ‘self’; part of that is expressing their sexual nature and ‘releasing the beast’ while at the same time inspiring attraction & desire.

Before you look at my post history and see that I’m active on MRP/TRP why not read what I’ve written and see if it helps you and your relationship in one way or another?

10 Ways to keep your wife on her toes.

When it comes to daily interactions with the same person the probability of complacency creeping in is amplified. This is simply human nature, the more you’re exposed to a stress the more you adapt to it, ultimately becoming desensitized. This is why it is so important that men continue to change their approach and improve as a person. What worked on your girl 2 years ago won’t work today, you’ve got to be unpredictable.

I’ve been with my wife since we were 16, I’m 29 now. We’ve been together for 13 years and have been married for 8 of them. How is it that I am having porn star sex daily, getting unsolicited blowjobs, and am still having fun with my wife?

I objectively looked at my marriage and actions I’ve taken to keep her on her toes and am going to share them here with the hope that some of these actions may be applicable to your situation.

I will provide 10 steps I’ve taken and I encourage any and every man who comes across this post or my blog to share what you do to keep your passion and sexual satisfaction from going out.

Before I share my 10 actions and let you see inside the world of Hunter Drew’s marriage, I want to reiterate something to you: Women do NOT Love you the way you love them. You may be content with your lady just the way she is all the way until death comes knocking on your door — She won’t. You must* understand that it is squarely on your shoulders, as the man, to keep the relationship going.

If you think the above statement is a sexist one, look at this recent post from this subreddit in it the woman directly says that her husband is content with how things are, but she is not.

Women are not evil, but the fact remains that men need to ensure they’re filling their role as well. You can’t have one person invested in the relationship while the other skates by carefree; both need to work together, like a Yin-Yang, different yet equal – complimentary to one another.

This list is something you can take and apply in your relationship today.

Keep what you think will work, disregard the rest.

1. Sex Outside The Bedroom

Break the pattern, ‘make love’ outside the bedroom.

One of the biggest ‘routines’ that couples find themselves in is only having sex in the bedroom and at night.

You are adults; you no longer have to sneak around your parent’s house to fuck. You are (probably) living in your own place, so claim it all. Fuck in every room, on every piece of furniture, at every point of the day.

Kids are napping? Fuck on the couch.

Kids are watching a show? Sneak downstairs to get a blowjob.

Wife is doing dishes? Pick her up, carry her to the garage, pin her to a wall, and make out with her hard and fast; then just fucking leave and go sit somewhere with a book. She’ll be in the garage dripping wet wondering what in the actual fuck just happened to her.

The reasoning behind this action is twofold. Not only are you breaking routine by fucking in a ‘foreign’ place, but you’re also making new ‘sexy’ inside jokes & memories with your lady.

For Example: When you have company over and someone asks if the table they are leaning against is sturdy, you and your wife will flash back and smile to the time you were railing her on that exact table. You can then give a confident yes, let others see the smile you two sneak to each other, let them wonder…

Whenever you see any room or piece of furniture in your house, it will have a story.

(Make sure you clean up after yourself)

2. Surprise Vacations

Explore our beautiful country, go somewhere you’ve never been. Instead of buying another ‘thing’ – give her an experience.

The routine of wake up, go to work, come home, do whatever, weekend time, start again is all too common in our day and age.

People get stuck in these loops and I fucking hate loops. In the Navy I called it, ‘Redundancy without Progress’ and in the military there is quite a bit of that, but I digress…

To break the loop I had saved some cash specifically for a trip, I didn’t tell the wife anything. On a weekend where I knew we had nothing going on I booked us a room at the Great Wolf Lodge – a hotel that is geared towards kids (family waterpark, arcade, interactive stuff, etc.).

I messaged my wife and told her that when she got out of work (it was Friday) that she needed to pack our stuff for 3 days and be sure to include bathing suits and that we would be spending our weekend at the Lodge.

She responded with, “Well what about the cat & dog?” (I’d handled it) “& Money” (I’d handled it) “This is short notice”(I told her that I’ve given her instructions as to what I wanted done and that when I got home she needed the gear packed, kids ready to go, and everyone standing by).

I got home and she had them ready (my wife is awesome). The trip was awesome and she kept ranting and raving about how excited she was and that it was an amazing adventure – sex was awesome the entire time.

(Follow your woman’s behavior, not her words)

3. Removing ‘Vanilla’ Sex

Sex should be fun and free from any taboo; open up to each other, be honest and share what it is you ‘really’ want.

There is a time and place for the average, normal, standard missionary position. That time is not every time. You need to ensure your sex life is your fucking play place (literally). I advise you to turn sex with your wife into something that would come from a Lewis Carroll Novel.

I once bought a bunch of those glow sticks that are necklaces. We were at the Dollar Tree and I saw them and an entire fucking fantasy filled my mind. Without telling anyone why, I put them into the cart.

Fast forward and it’s getting dark outside so I let the kids crack them and run around the yard. After a while the kids get put to bed and I tell my wife to go to the bedroom, get undressed, and to meet me in the shower.

I cracked the rest of the glow sticks and hung them from everywhere inside the shower. I did this like Clark Kent changing into Superman, it took some skill and focus but I nailed it and had it glowing like a nuclear reactor within 2 minutes. I had glow sticks around the shower head, the water knob, and the bar that holds the shower curtain. I even threw a few on the ground, just because.

When she came in it was fucking game on.

After a while I got out, dried off and took a few of the glow sticks with me. She was drying off and I then staged them in our bedroom. I had them hooked to the fan, bedposts – everywhere. Sex was had again and she said at one point she, “Didn’t know which way was up” – it was awesome.

Mixing up your sex life can be done any way you’d like.

(Sex is supposed to be enjoyed, have fun with it)

4. Be Mysterious

Be mysterious, don’t ever let her become ‘used’ to who you are and what you are going to do.

Guys on the Married Red Pill subreddit often give the suggestion of just getting out of the house and doing something alone when dealing with certain situations. I think some men think it is this complex Rubik’s cube of advice being given to them. They think I thought I was always supposed to be around, always giving attention and ‘being there’ for my wife…

Your wife needs to miss you and more importantly you need to have an aspect to who you are as a Man that she is not involved in. If she isn’t involved and you aren’t spewing your life to her daily, then there is an element to you that she doesn’t know, and that is a good thing. (Mystery fosters the growth of attraction)

5. Being Romantic.

Masculine love is genuine, free from covert contracts.

As men, we are romantics. If I ever text her ‘I Love You’ I always capitalize the word ‘Love’, I go out of my way to make the ‘little things’ line up for her, and a whole host of other small deeds. It will be dependent on the man, but remind yourself that you’re doing these little things for you not her.

She’ll appreciate them, but it won’t hit as deep as it does in your heart. That’s fine, she’s a woman and you’re doing it because you find joy in doing romantic shit. Own it and don’t make any covert contracts – it’s not a this for that transaction. Just embrace your natural programming to being a romantic masculine male.

(You’re a romantic to your core, whether you’re aware or not)

6. Goal Setting/Leading

Every member of your family plays a role to achieving the end goal of optimal living, place your pieces wisely.

You are the Family Alpha, the leader of your clan. How are they supposed to flourish under your guidance if you are unwilling to set aside time for their development?

My wife is a PreSchool teacher; she’s very organized and has a solid understanding of Early Childhood Development and dealing with special attention kids (as well as their parents). What she lacks is the ability to set goals for herself and take actions towards those goals.

She says she wants to weigh a certain weight, run a certain time, and achieve a certain life goal. But when I ask how she is making progress towards those goals, her plan consists of aimless actions (See: Redundancy without progress).

I sat my wife down and together we grabbed a notebook and individually wrote down what our short term goals were. One of hers is to write a children’s book. So we’ll use that as an example, I then had to create a rough timeline/map towards her achieving that.

Now, she’s well on her way.

Your wife needs you to help her stay on the straight and narrow. If she is stagnant, don’t come to The Family Alpha or The Married Red Pill saying “my wife is unmotivated, sedentary, etc.” Because that’s your fault for not motivating her and if she doesn’t give a shit and has no passion for life, what value is she bringing to yours? Also, recognize that her instinct is to place all others before her self, you need to be the one placing her ahead of your self.

You can create a woman who brings value by being a man worthy of value. Remember, your wife a reflection of your performance as a man. Why not dedicate the time to helping her and the rest of your clan get to here you want them (and they need) to be?

Because it’s easier? Fuck that, step up to the plate (you are reclaiming your masculinity, right?) make it happen.

This isn’t just your wife. Are you putting the necessary time in with your kids as well? Your entire family is operating under your guidance. Set the time aside to mentor, assist, and guide them all.

(Your family needs a Leader, they need a Family Alpha)

7. Educate Her

You have to lead your family to the heights you want to achieve

I’m not guessing with my advice here, these things have worked and I have used them in real life with my wife. Remember that Your Mileage May Vary, especially when it comes to discussing psychology, male/female dynamics, certain kinks, etc. Just because your wife did something with her last boyfriend doesn’t mean she has to do it with you. Just because you want anal doesn’t mean your wife enjoys anal.

Cater your approach to your woman and get your relationship to a point where she’ll try things with you and see if they work as opposed to defaulting to no.

I wrote a post a while back on the Married Red Pill subreddit about how my wife had told me straight up that she wanted to be a submissive women and that she had been reading about Dominant/submissive relationships. I told her I thought that this was the type of relationship we had going – she said it is, but that she wanted to tell me that she’s always wanted to be a submissive woman and be told what to do and that she feels that is somehow wrong.

I have always taken the Dominant role in the relationship. Never saying, “I don’t know” always taking point and leading the family to where we needed to be. I’ve used the word dominant to her and on the reddit forums, but I realized that she’s never spoken the title ‘submissivee’. She hadn’t owned it and I hadn’t recognized that – a failure on my part.

It was then that a few things clicked and while she was crying like a son who had come out of the closet as gay to his dad, I knew I had an opportunity at a critical moment to make a lasting impact.

I explained how all of the modern day feminists had warped the word submissive, how all of the SJWs who make being a domestic wife a bad thing are fucking wrong and I clarified to her that her biology as a woman makes her more submissive where mine as a man makes me more dominant. I knew that she was simply at the point where she wanted to be open about the dynamic of our relationship.

Your woman may not understand why you are making the life improving changes that you’re implementing. Share some of it with her. You don’t have to bring her into the ‘Manosphere’ but you certainly can educate her on why you’re eating better, lifting more, reading more, and fucking more.

Don’t let it just be the ‘new you’ let her understand that you’re raising your standard and tell her that never again will she be forced to assume the leadership role of your clan. Or as was my case, let her know that you recognize and appreciate her feminine beauty and that her ability to be both submissive yet lead her areas of life as the chick in charge makes you proud.

Women do not want to wear the pants and when your weaksauce behavior forces them to, it builds resentment. You may even want to explain that aspect so she understands why she feels angry towards you.

This is entirely dependent on your woman, but explaining these things made my wife not feel so alone – like she was the only woman to have these feelings. It allowed her to embrace her submissiveness towards me and not make her feel ashamed when she says, “I follow my husband’s lead, I trust Hunter Drew to make the right call for our family” and now, she finally owns it – it’s sort of become our ‘thing’.

You have to understand your wife and how her mind works. It’s only then that you can make the call on what knowledge would make her better understand the path you’re leading your clan down.

(Be Dominant, ** NOT** Domineering)

8. Text Game

Text game is difficult, but it can be done.

A lot of guys in the Manosphere recommend you keep texts to logistics only. For 90% of the guys, I agree. For those who know how to use texts as a sort of IV drip of arousal through the day until you see her in person, I think texts have their place.

For example, one morning I fucked my wife. It was some nice hard sex followed by a shower then off to work.

A few hours into the day I was rock hard daydreaming about the sex we had. So I went to the bathroom and took a dick pic and sent it to my wife telling her “apparently I didn’t get enough this morning.”

Her response was, “It looks as hard as granite, I love when you’re that hard inside me, I feel it spread me wide.” Then I went radio silent, 15-20 minutes later she sends me a text saying how wet she is, 5 minutes after that she sends a pic of her tits, 1 minute later I get a message about if I like them, etc.

My text elicited the response that sent her down the rabbit hole all day, solid sex was had when I got home.

If you do it right and don’t come across as needy or creepy, you can use text and pics to set the stage. Do not rely solely on texts as you still have to game & kino in person, though you can certainly use them as accessories to your arsenal of sex inducing weapons that are employed to reach your end goal.

(You don’t have to answer every email and text from your lady, you do know that right?)

9. Fuck With Her

I make my wife laugh often and at the most inappropriate times (she’s had to apologize at funerals – true story.)

I fuck with my wife constantly. You know the whole, Pick on the girls at the playground concept? I do that and I have since we were together – it keeps shit fresh.

Why do I do it? Because it fucking works and I am honestly enjoying life and my marriage.

Talking shit, pulling pranks, just straight fucking with your wife in a tactful way leads to a solid and healthy relationship. I would never pull the chair out from under her as that would make her look stupid in front of everyone or she’d break her ass. But I would replace her incense with a sparkler. (House went up like it was the 4th of July)

I’ll hide shit, put things where she can’t reach them, refuse to give a direct answer or give an overly complicated answer to any questions that she should know.

There is a fine line between being a mischievous man and being a dick. Be mischievous in your dealings and always have her looking over her shoulder. It can also be sexual; in fact it should be sexual.

Example: We were having a barbecue and I saw my wife go inside to get something. I snuck in, pulled her to the bathroom, fingered her to just before she came, then I hopped out of the bathroom and heard her yell about how big of an asshole I was. The rest of the party she was giving me the ‘angry eyes’ with a head shake showing she was pissed, she came hard that night…

This is your girl, you should be flirting, fucking, laughing, and having the time of your life with her. If you aren’t, why are you married? If you want to bring it back, then follow the steps and start having fun again.

(She’s your woman, not your mom – she wants to have fun. So have fun and fuck with your wife)

10. Refuse to Lower the Standard From Which Excellence is Measured

Heavy is the head that wears the crown, good thing you’ve got some strong fucking traps.

You set the bar Gentlemen – let that truly set in. You set the standard.

You set the bar from which your wife will judge other men and you set the bar from which your family will perform to. If you are out lifting and improving yourself, then your family should reflect that. Everyone in your life will perform to the standard you accept not the one you expect.

If you are doing all of the steps provided, then your wife should be so busy trying to keep up with your next move that she doesn’t need to get attention or excitement elsewhere. You’ll have her feeling like that young feminine girl she is. Even after 20 years of marriage you can make it work, treat her like a ONS, treat her like a girl you’re trying to impress and get a phone # from.

She’s a woman, not just wife or mother of your kids.

It’s on you to make it happen.

I have shared some insight into how I’ve kept my wife leaking and craving my dick for the past 7 years of our marriage and the 5 years prior to that.

As of right now this post is roughly 3,000 words. That’s irrelevant as I could write a novel. If we do not apply what we read and write, then it’s useless.

It is your deeds, not your words which matter. If you want to end the Deadbedroom, you’ve got to take action and stop talking about fixing it.

Hunter Drew

My Blog: https://thefamilyalpha.com/

My Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheFamilyAlpha