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I regret leaving my husband...?
I have been married for 19 years, together with my husband for 23 years total. We have 2 great kids, ages11, 12 and 14. Last fall, I started an affair with my boss. We had both have had feeling for each other but haven’t pushed it till now. About July I asked my husband to move out. We told the kids the news and it was very hard, Heart-wrenching actually. I plan was for me and my boss to start a new relationship.
My boss did leave his wife (no kids) and we stared out our relationship. Everything was good for few months and we were very much in love. Now most of the feeling I have for my boss now boyfriend aren’t there I constantly compare him to my soon to be ex-husband. I don’t know what I was thinking but I realize it was the worst mistake of my life and I don’t know how to fix can I even fix it.
Yesterday, I went to my husband firm to go over the divorce. When I saw him all of my felling came rushing back. All I wanted to was jump over the table and hold and never let him go. Leaving him is turning into my biggest regret. I tried as soon as I left his office I couldn’t control it. I should thought this through I’m so stupid. He even told me this would happen and even asked to give another chance to fix any problems we had and he would forgive. Now it’s too late.
Last night I couldn’t thinking how I would never be able to hold him, kiss him or even make love to him again. I through it always and now I wish I had it. I lost it all and I will never be able to get it back. Now I don’t really know what to do. I’m lost, hurt and confused.
My boss did leave his wife (no kids) and we stared out our relationship. Everything was good for few months and we were very much in love. Now most of the feeling I have for my boss now boyfriend aren’t there I constantly compare him to my soon to be ex-husband. I don’t know what I was thinking but I realize it was the worst mistake of my life and I don’t know how to fix can I even fix it.
Yesterday, I went to my husband firm to go over the divorce. When I saw him all of my felling came rushing back. All I wanted to was jump over the table and hold and never let him go. Leaving him is turning into my biggest regret. I tried as soon as I left his office I couldn’t control it. I should thought this through I’m so stupid. He even told me this would happen and even asked to give another chance to fix any problems we had and he would forgive. Now it’s too late.
Last night I couldn’t thinking how I would never be able to hold him, kiss him or even make love to him again. I through it always and now I wish I had it. I lost it all and I will never be able to get it back. Now I don’t really know what to do. I’m lost, hurt and confused.
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Top AnswerYou hurt him. He wanted to work on getting over things and you rejected him again. Of course he doesn't want to be with you. Now you'll have to face what you created.
My advice would be to work on yourself. Be a good mother, develop new hobbies, workout, meet new people, (maybe get a new job?), etc. Don't worry about a relationship right now. -
Based on this post you sound really self centered and selfish. Do you ever think about other people's feelings? The husband you betrayed, the family you ripped apart, the woman who's husband you had sex with? All you talk about are your own feelings.. You need to do some serious work on YOU. Perhaps if you ditch the boyfriend, and SHOW your hysband you are working on being a better person he'll give you some time before putting the papers through..and then consider counseling. Either way, you really need to work on being less self involved.Edited by the author
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I feel no sympathy for you, whatsoever. You're a creepshow. Maybe if you weren't a typical american spoiled brat, who wants it all instead of being happy with what you have, this could have been avoided. Hope your ex meets his true love so he can forget about the heartbreak, humiliation and brokenness. And you hurt your children. You're selfish and a narrcisisst.Edited by the author
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I need to tell you that I am sorry, so sorry. I realize I have been selfish and self serving and acted like a childish ass of an adult.. please give me a chance to correct what I did to us... please find it in your heart to believe me and forgive me... I love you I need you and I am so regretful of what I did to both,our lives.
and the kids.. I prromise you that will try to grow with you and never leave our nest of love, if Ill have a chance of getting it back.,,,,, you are tthe best man for me and incomparable to any other in my eyes... Tell him this on your knees. ...
and then show him.. if he accepts.. make him your king.. and enter the gates of heaven ...on earth... ( I'M. NOT RELIGIOUS) .Edited by the author -
Another thing...
I wonder what you tell people when they question why you aren't with your husband anymore.-
@George: Most narcissists like this one, will never cop to doing anything wrong to her husband. They might turn to a website like this one in order to see if someone has any sympathy but as we can all see here there is none had for her. Again like I posted above, when you break a loyal man Heart? Don't go crying the blues when he moves on. Because once a man finds another one to mend his broken heart.... The one that broke it will be a memory and nothing more. Women say that men are dogs and if that is true what Pet is more loyal? When I finally get past what my wife is currently doing to me and if I am fortunate enough to find someone to help me overcome the mental abuse and neglect that led to her lacing her boots up and leaving, she will be a forgotten memory. I loved her more than I loved anything in the world and once you love that way and someone takes it for granted and throws it in the trash as this woman did? more than likely she will be the one spending the rest of her days alone and heartbroken because of the devastation she created. And again she has zero sympathy from me.
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A hard lesson learned. The probability of getting back together with your soon-to-be ex is nil. Starting a live-in relationship with your boss while you were still married was a really dumb move. Shows you have little regard for anyone else who is involved here. The only thing you can do now is to do what you should have done with your husband...work things out with your boyfriend.
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Not to be rude to you or anything, but my wife left me with haste and no regrets at all and we have a little boy that is autistic and she is not thinking about him at all. I am left all alone in a home I purchased for my family and I wake up every morning fighting through tears just to get myself out of bed because of the emotional condition my wife left me in. When you break a man's heart that is loyal to you you better not expect anything else but to lay in the bed you made once he moves on. I have plenty of female friends that tell me they wish they could find a man that is loyal and do not have two worry about him cheating on them. I would say to you find a hobby or something to keep your mind on because if he wanted to fix it and you just threw it all away then you get what you deserve And in your regret you will suffer as you have made him and hopefully he has found someone to mend his heart that you have ripped to pieces, I have no sympathy for you.
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Last fall you started an affair..... but in July, you asked your husband to move out?
You were infatuated with your boss and you acted on that alone? You didn't realize the honeymoon phase would end after you were together and the lovey dovey turned to reality?
This is an old story.... somebody gets in a rut, gets a little attention from the opposite sex, decides life is too short to stay tied down, decides to break free.... and then realizes the grass is not greener.as soon as the newness wears off.
I think it's time considered getting a few dozen cats.
First thong you do is break off any contact with the boss/bf. Quit your job if necessary. If you want hubby back, plan to never see or speak to him again. ,
Next, go to hubby and tell him it's over with boss/bf and tell him you want to work on gaining his trust back. It will take time, YOU will have to work harder but he might give you another chance. I wouldn't but....