We are gathered here today to discuss a timeless classic of 90’s children’s weekday morning routine: Animaniac’s Yakko’s World song. The song first aired in the 1993 episode Yakko's World/Cookies For Einstein/Win Big. Rob Paulsen voiced Yakko, Randy Rogel wrote the lyrics and adapted the music from ‘Jarabe Tapatio’, which some of us might know better as the Mexican Hat Dance.
I had wished to present a more straightforward case of badhistory, but the central question to what constitutes said badhistory in this nostalgic case is as complicated. Specifically--what constitutes a nation? Let’s start with the opening lyric to glimpse the problem before us:
And now, the nations of the world, brought to you by Yakko Warner!
A bold proclamation considering the diplomatic thorniness of exclaiming what exactly is a nation and what isn’t (for example, Taiwan is listed among the nations with China but I could find no formal protest from China lodged at Warner Brothers for this provocation). We could do a close reading of ‘nationalism’ and its attendant theories, but we’ll assume that by ‘nation’ what Yakko Warner meant was ‘nation-state’ and, like any good historian worth his salt, ignore the overlap between theories of statehood and nationalism to keep things digestibly simple.
First, a cursory overview of the most popular theories on what a nation-state is:
The Constitutive theory posits that a nation-state is extant if it is recognized by other states. There was lively debate about just how many states would be needed for recognition, but then around lunchtime after a few drinks and some bad Emmentaler it was decided that the more important question was “if no states are around to recognize the first nation-state, does anyone care?” Thus, the chicken/egg paradox of statehood was born.
The Declaratory or Declarative theory of statehood posits that once a state becomes extant once it meets some minimal criteria of statehood. What criteria you ask? Defined borders, a permanent population, a functioning government, and the capacity to hold diplomatic relations with other countries.
The last theory (for our purposes) is based on the Peace of Westphalia, signed in 1648 after the Thirty Years War. The Westphalian system is predicated on established sovereignty over a defined territory and people with that territorial integrity being uninterrupted by outside entities.
None of these theories fully explain our international system and none are mutually exclusive. Let’s put a country or two to the test.
1st--Canada. In 1993 Canada gave and received recognition from the majority of declared nation-states (constitutive theory), met all of the criteria of the Declaratory theory (well, meets the criteria I listed), and had established sovereignty over defined territory and people recognized by and uninterrupted by neighboring states.
2nd--Taiwan. In 1993, upwards of 25 countries recognized Taiwan, about ⅛ of the world’s countries. Does this pass the Constitutive test? Seeing as none of those countries held real sway in the international order of things (countries include Malawi, Sao Tome and Principe, Bahamas, etc.) , I’d argue that it fails. We can take this a step further and include recognition by international orders such as the UN and multiple arms, economic, and cultural unions and you’ll not find Taiwan. Recognition--out.
Now, ‘93 Taiwan does seem to pass the Declarative test--it has well defined borders, a permanent population that it governs, and as pointed out above the ability to hold diplomatic relations. But where it falls apart, both here and in the Westphalian test, is that Taiwan’s well defined borders were contested by neighboring China, a contest that most of the rest of the world recognized to be in China’s favor. Taiwan may have had de facto sovereignty over its proclaimed territory, but that sovereignty wasn’t recognized. So Taiwan fails these tests too.
Alright, now that the nagging criteria is out of the way (we won’t run every mention through a full examination here) let’s get to the offending song:
United States, Canada, Mexico, Panama,
Haiti, Jamaica, Peru,
Republic Dominican, Cuba, Carribbean,
Greenland, El Salvador, too.
Puerto Rico, Colombia, Venezuela,
Honduras, Guyana, and still,
Guatemala, Bolivia, then Argentina,
And Ecuador, Chile, Brazil.
Costa Rica, Belize, Nicaragua, Bermuda,
Bahamas, Tobago, San Juan,
Paraguay, Uruguay, Suriname,
And French Guiana, Barbados, and Guam.
Norway, and Sweden, and Iceland, and Finland,
And Germany, now in one piece,
Switzerland, Austria, Czechoslovakia,
Italy, Turkey, and Greece.
Poland, Romania, Scotland, Albania,
Ireland, Russia, Oman,
Bulgaria, Saudi Arabia, Hungary,
Cyprus, Iraq, and Iran.
There's Syria, Lebanon, Israel, Jordan,
Both Yemens, Kuwait, and Bahrain,
The Netherlands, Luxembourg, Belgium, and Portugal,
France, England, Denmark, and Spain.
India, Pakistan, Burma, Afghanistan,
Thailand, Nepal, and Bhutan,
Kampuchea, Malaysia, then Bangladesh (Asia),
And China, Korea, Japan.
Mongolia, Laos, and Tibet, Indonesia,
The Philippine Islands, Taiwan,
Sri Lanka, New Guinea, Sumatra, New Zealand,
Then Borneo, and Vietnam.
Tunisia, Morocco, Uganda, Angola,
Zimbabwe, Djibouti, Botswana,
Mozambique, Zambia, Swaziland, Gambia,
Guinea, Algeria, Ghana.
Burundi, Lesotho, then Malawi, Togo,
The Spanish Sahara is gone,
Niger, Nigeria, Chad, and Liberia,
Egypt, Benin, and Gabon.
Tanzania, Somalia, Kenya, and Mali,
Sierra Leone, and Algiers,
Dahomey, Namibia, Senegal, Libya,
Cameroon, Congo, Zaire.
Ethiopia, Guinea-Bissau, Madagascar,
Rwanda, Mayore, and Cayman,
Hong Kong, Abu Dhabi, Qatar, Yugoslavia...
Crete, Mauritania, then Transylviania,
Monaco, Liechtenstein, Malta, and Palestine,
Fiji, Australia, Sudan!
First, were Yakko simply compiling an exhaustive list of every nation, state, and country he’d have failed quite miserably. Some of the biggest omissions of ‘93 in this list include: South Africa (likely in an effort of solidarity with the recently departed Apartheid government), Brunei, Singapore, the Seychelles, the Vatican, Eritrea, and the recent former soviet states.
Second, let’s take a look at some controversial mentions, clear nixes, and bizarre additions:
Most notably, Korea is not split between North and South. This could’ve been due to rhyming or rhythmic necessity or, most nefariously, an expressed desire for the reunification of the peninsula.
Palestine: ‘93 was an auspicious year for Palestine. It was occupied by the IDF, had no permanent govt. nor a people free to move, wasn’t recognized by anyone as a nation, and had no standing army. All it had was a well defined border. The Oslo Accords, struck that same year, provided for the creation of the PNA (Palestinian National Authority), but that was to have administration of both Palestine and the West Bank. This is most certainly a sharp invective hurled at Israel for its occupation of Palestine.
Tibet, Hong Kong: Neither self governed nor recognized as an independent state we can file this as a solidarity mention with the then popular Free-Tibet movement. Hong Kong was a British territory at the time.
Guam, Bermuda, Cayman: All territories of the US and Britain respectively, they might not even qualify as nations in the most extreme sense as the ‘native’ populations in the latter two cases are resettled from slavery. Perhaps mentioned in a perverse wish for the native populations to rise up and throw off the yolk of their protectors.
Romania, Indonesia, Greece, and Benin: Provinces or islands with no recent history of rebellion or aspirations of statehood are mentioned. Transylvania (Romania) is likely mentioned because of an episode where the Warner Brothers and their sister Dot accidentally travel there while trying to reach Pennsylvania. Sumatra and Borneo are both mentioned alongside Indonesia. Crete for Greece, and Dahomey for Benin (an older name for the small African nation).
"Both Yemens": By '93 both Yemens had unified. Yakko must truly desire their separation.
Greenland: A curious case as Greenland was still partial to Denmark in '93. In 1979 it had been granted homerule. However basic law, policing, foreign policy, accounting, environmental affairs, and other domestic affairs were still largely governed from abroad with a slow handover.
There are, of course, other odd mentions (Mahore, an alternative for the French possession of Mayotte in the Comoros) but most of those can be explained away reasons of rhythm or rhyme (Caribbean, Asia).
It’s hard to decipher what agenda Yakko Warner had with this song, but suffice to say it is very bad history.
ここには何もないようです