Hey for those of you who don't know, I have a harem of plates over at RPW. Actually, I'm married to several of the women over there. I know polygamy is technically illegal, but thanks to a harebrained scheme that AchingError cooked up, we all made it work. Without giving too much away, they all married a corporation in which I am the sole shareholder.

Anyway, one of them sent this to me after a conversation confessing all kinds of Bluepilll truths, and I thought I would share it with you all! If you like it, I'm getting it emblazoned on a Hanes Beefy T that you can buy for like $39.99. Without further ado, here is a leaked blog post from JudgyBitch!

I'm here to discuss how proud I am of my son! I know I sound like a stereotypical parent, but it's moments like this I can momentarily forgive myself for being born a woman. To think that I could have the honor of giving birth to a male! I don't think anything in my (or any woman's) life can measure up to the importance and gravity of creating more men.

My son Declan, my daughter and I were all sitting around the table talking about how important self-interest is. I say that it's important, and Declan says that it's the only thing that matters in the entire world. He's so wise. This discussion came up because of a charity competition that their school was having.

Now, I lobbied hard for their school to cease and desist all charitable activities. Like any decent American, I raised my kids to have contempt for every kind of philanthropy. For example, every time we drive our Mercedes GLK passed a beggar I roll down the window and yell, "Get a fucking job!" Afterwards I am careful to give my stump speech that everyone who is poor is lazy, and that there's enough opportunity that everyone on the planet could simultaneously have a high standard of living. If the homeless person was black or brown, this dovetails into my other speech about how certain groups of people are more hardworking than other groups.

I mean, it has been proven that receiving handouts makes people into dependent creatures. Remember Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory? How the oompa-loompas slaved away for Mr. Wonka in exchange for snozzberries and an occasional sip from the chocolate river? Everyone would have been better off if he left them in Loompaland to be torn apart by hornswogglers and whangdoodles. But again, this speech sometimes changes. Sometimes Willy Wonka is a hero for uplifting those orange indigents and giving them meaningful work.

Anyway, here's the conversation that makes my cardiac muscles thicken in maternal joy.

Declan: I'm only participating in this clothing drive because if we win, our class gets a pizza party. I don't care about the sick children.

Daughter: Declan, that's terrible! I mean, maybe you don't personally know them but at least don't you think it's nice to make their lives a little better?

Declan: No. I don't. Their sickness is their problem. All I care about is the pizza. If we got a pizza party for throwing rocks at sick children, I would do that instead. In fact, I might do that anyway with some of my friends.

Daughter: Mom, Declan is acting like a psychopath!

At this point I cut in.

"Honey, Declan is just showing the virtue of selfishness! If those kids can provide him entertainment, that's all that really matters. And anyway, judging by your extra poundage, I think a pizza party is the last thing you need!"

At this, my daughter stormed off into her room to cry and I sat with my special little man. I couldn't help but admire the contemptuous sneer that's slowly becoming his resting face. He's more and more like his father every day!

A few hours later, his father stumbled into our home. He must have been really stressed from his day, because he couldn't articulate a sentence and kept calling me his co-worker's name! I looked outside and saw that he parked his BMW on the lawn again, right smack on top of the flower garden I've been cultivating for the past few months. What a great way to show me to be non-attached to frivolous, girly things!

When I came back inside from moving his BMW to the right spot, I was just in time to see him vomiting into the running shoes he bought me as a belated birthday present. I just put my hands on my hips, giggled and said, "you big doody head!"

He snarled something in response, but I was already putting on my blue nitrile gloves and getting the red bucket. Hubby has been acting a little caddish towards my friends, and they've been turning down invites recently. It can only be because he's so fit and attractive that their own husbands are scared their wives would cheat, and knowing those tarts their husbands are probably right! To fulfill my stupid girlish need for companionship, I just drew a big smiley face on my red bucket to remind me how lucky I am to actually have a husband, and that I should always be smiling!

More than anything, I'm thankful. The way my husband acts around our daughter's friends shows me that he could easily replace me with a younger woman. So I just grin, fulfill his selfish / degrading sexual appetites, and think of all those stupid slutty slut sluts who will never get to experience this bliss!

I'm thinking of a name for my bucket friend. How does Daeneris sound? Hubby won't allow me to watch GoT because it gives speaking lines to women but based on the stills I've seen she has the best hair!