Hey MGTOW's today I'm talking about how there’s nothing wrong with admiring another person’s successes. What’s wrong is spending your time comparing yourself to others.
Video Version
Surrounding yourself with people more successful than you is actually a great way to improve your life. I believe it’s best to have 1/3 of your circle of people ‘below’ you, 1/3 at your current level and 1/3 above.
This way you can mentor, teach and progress simultaneously.
You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.
What is wrong and where the comparison to others is fleeting is the point where you attempt to copy and emulate their behaviors.
This is when undervalued feelings will arise in your mind.
I also want to point out these concepts and ideas I’m going to put out there today are applicable to any type of success. Money, business, and fitness.
Use these concepts and apply them to the areas in your life which are important and relevant.
If you are comparing yourself to others to the extent where you are physically, or mentally trying to imitate them, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Why? Because every single one of us is completely unique, not only with the genes we have but with every single life experience you have had. Right now, the moment you are reading this you are the sum of the experiences you have had throughout your life.
Why? Because every single one of us is completely unique. Not only with the genes we inherit but with every single life experience we have.
This very moment you are the sum of the experiences you have had throughout your life.
I also want to be very clear that it’s fine to idolize people and in many ways having 1/3 of your people you around with as mentors is a great idea. People with mentors excel quicker.
However, your goal should be to use the knowledge you acquire and apply it to your own subjective and individual circumstances so you are authentic
I am not suggesting you can’t look up to these people and use them as role models. But too often people who are not willing to invest the work and dedication necessary for true success. Instead, they become envious and frustrated as they try to imitate them.
You Must Compare Yourself With You
If you’re reading this then chances are you’re into improving yourself. You are not trying to better yourself by emulating someone else. To become a better version of yourself is to do exactly that, better yourself, not better somebody else.
I’ll use the example of the fitness industry because body image is something a lot of people, well most people suffer too much insecurity on. The fitness industry, especially on social media give the masses the idea that it’s OK to strive to be like others, as this motivates you.
I agree it may motivate somebody but at the end of the day, the problem is you’re probably not going to look like the photoshopped and genetically elite athlete you are striving to be.
This is sad, but the very realistic truth. To try to copy and strive to be somebody else, in any aspect of life will leave you with very unsatisfied and lingering feelings of inadequacy.
The ideal mindset is to be striving to become the best version of yourself.
Every time you escalate your business or lose a few more kgs, gain more muscle, you will instill confidence in yourself and your ability to improve yourself rather than improving based on standards of another person.
Criticize Yourself Instead Of Comparing Yourself To Others
I believe criticizing yourself can actually be an incredible tool to use instead of comparing yourself to others. If you are criticizing yourself on the basis of a comparison to some random person, or even somebody you know personally, then that is unhealthy.
However if you are comparing yourself to the high standards, morals and goals you have set for yourself, then that is healthy.
This is keeping you accountable for what you want to achieve and making sure that you don’t fall behind on what you expect from yourself.
Be Grateful For Your Resources
A great example of a resource is money.
Let’s say you are an aspiring entrepreneur and you need capital to get your business up and running.
On the other hand, somebody is also another aspiring entrepreneur, but they have money to invest as capital from a family inheritance.
What do you think the smart move is? To compare yourself to this luckier individual, give up and not proceed with your goal because you have it harder than somebody more fortunate than you.
Of course, the latter is not the attitude you should have. This ‘issue’ should drive you to work harder.
Chances are somebody wishes they had your resources, whether you accept this or not, it’s true.
Be grateful for what you have. Work with what you’ve got.
The Genetic Lottery
We all know what genetics are, Our skin color, our voice, everything is predetermined by your genetics. The environment can change some, but this is best left for a different discussion.
I will not dwell on the topic of genetics, I just want to leave you with one idea to get you thinking.
You cannot change your genetics, but what you can change is what you can do with them.
Avoid Instant Gratification
Our lives have become rat races to the next dopamine fix. Now this isn’t necessarily only with drugs. In fact, sugar has been shown to have very similar effects on the brain as cocaine.
I want you to understand that everything in our life seems to revolve around small pleasures, whether it be watching TV, procrastinating or eating sugary food.
The same can be said about achieving goals, whether it be getting money, success in business, an incredible body.
Ultimately this all takes time, dedication and habits every day which cultivates into success.
Understand that when somebody achieves happiness, the happiness never came from the goal they achieved, such as six-pack abs, rather it was there all along. You can’t ‘get’ happiness, you become it and then success follows.
So be content with who you are, but always strive to progress and achieve more. Think about the long term gratification and form habits that will make tomorrow a day where will become better than the last.
Do this everyday, rinse and repeat.
Celebrate Your Accomplishments
If you’re on a road of progression sometimes you don’t experience the successes you want. The best advice I can give you is to constantly look back on your progress. Look back a month, a year, however long until your brain realize how far you’ve come.
Look back to realize how far you’ve come.
This epiphany will keep you progressing forward and will deter you from ever following a road of degeneration. This is the very essence of comparing yourself to you rather than others. Even if you are successful, if you’re comparing yourself to others, you will never feel satisfied.
Always use your previous and ‘lesser’ self as a driver to keep pushing forward.
Take Away Message
Your genetics, your circumstances, your resources, your ability is all you have. Everything comes together in a giant quagmire to basically create you.
I’d like you to always be conscious of your individuality.
Because of how different you are from everyone else, your journey, your successes, you failures are yours. Be proud of this and happy we aren’t all the same.
Be proud of these and be thankful we aren’t the same.
We are all on a different journey and the goal must be to better ourselves, this is what will bring you closer to actualising your inner self.
No matter what you do, there will always be somebody better, so stop comparing yourself to others!
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