上位 200 件のコメント表示する 500

[–]Dustyoldfart 6966 ポイント6967 ポイント  (79子コメント)

That whole time I was thinking you were both a sucker and a pussy. Then you TOTALLY REDEEMED YOURSELF! Well played.

[–]Net_GeekNot your sugar daddy[S] 2827 ポイント2828 ポイント  (70子コメント)

Thanks Harry. Still wanna go to Aspen?

[–]Stinks_McGee 851 ポイント852 ポイント  (41子コメント)

Big Gulps, huh? Well, see ya later!

[–]itzregardie 277 ポイント278 ポイント  (13子コメント)

I literally had someone say that to me as I walked out of 711 with a drink just a few months ago. I died laughing.

[–]IHoldSteady 68 ポイント69 ポイント  (9子コメント)

Not enough people buy Big Gulps anymore, but I love to say it, especially if they happen to be standing in front of the store.

[–]9-8 32 ポイント33 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Hey, wana borrow this extra pair of gloves I'm wearing? My hands are starting to sweat.

[–]ixiduffixi 57 ポイント58 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Mama didn't raise no fool!

[–]Airazz 13 ポイント14 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I thought that he'd order delivery and order several boxes of raw meat or something, payment on delivery.

[–]Throwaway90578 2262 ポイント2263 ポイント  (263子コメント)

Unbelievable female privilege

[–]riddlz 2686 ポイント2687 ポイント  (187子コメント)

Only happens because there are men out there willing to do it. U know damn well if this shit worked reverse men would be lining up for the free cookies. I would

[–]FuckURedditor 968 ポイント969 ポイント  (54子コメント)

And con artists only exist because of gullible people. Doesn't mean we don't still blame them for being assholes.

[–]fezzuk 132 ポイント133 ポイント  (36子コメント)

Yeah but con suggests you are being ticked.

[–]braidsfox 337 ポイント338 ポイント  (23子コメント)

Telling someone they are getting a date if they buy you cookies when you have no intention of going on a date with them sounds pretty tricky to me.

Now you're a dumbass if you actually fall for that, but you're still being tricked.

[–]why_rob_y 245 ポイント246 ポイント  (17子コメント)

She would almost certainly go on a "date" with him if he bought her cookies. She'd know she had a sucker on the line - free dinner, drinks, and whatever else. You don't just discard a mark who already showed he's willing.

Now, of course, it's very unlikely it'd be the type of date that guy would want.

[–]FkIForgotMyPassword 117 ポイント118 ポイント  (9子コメント)

You mean he doesn't want to hear about her roommates' boyfriends and about how maybe if he gets her the tattoo she wants so much, she'll let her hold her hand next time?

[–]hupacmoneybags 55 ポイント56 ポイント  (3子コメント)

Shhhiiidddd... If I'm paying for a tattoo you best believe I'm getting more than a hand hold! I'm gonna put my arm around that bitch AT LEASTTT

[–]types-with_penis 22 ポイント23 ポイント  (4子コメント)

You don't just discard a mark who already showed he's willing.

Wait, are we talking about con artists or ...

[–]Chewcocca 7 ポイント8 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Damn right I'm ticked. I want some damn cookies.

[–]BananafishGlass 144 ポイント145 ポイント  (11子コメント)

In my younger, shittier days, I got free Internet pizzas from girls. It does work both ways. You just have to be a manipulative asshole.

[–]steenwear 32 ポイント33 ポイント  (0子コメント)

one of my ex-friends was the South African version of you. It was crazy to watch him work. Such an ass, such a liar, but the girls were all wrapped up in his bullshit.

Relevant - http://i.imgur.com/J3GtyzO.png

[–]ArthurChin 107 ポイント108 ポイント  (8子コメント)

Oh there are women out there who are more than willing to do shit like this, if not more. But these are not the kind of women you want in your life.

[–]0ldfury 59 ポイント60 ポイント  (35子コメント)

Victim blaming 101 right there.

[–]silly_psycho 32 ポイント33 ポイント  (11子コメント)

There are. You've got your cougars, older women with money who spend a bunch of money to date young dudes, and also your garden variety chick's who date deadbeats.

[–]SANDERS4POTUS69 42 ポイント43 ポイント  (8子コメント)

your garden variety chick's who date deadbeats.

God bless those women. That's how I got laid through most of my 20s.

[–]Anterai 18 ポイント19 ポイント  (16子コメント)

I wouldn't. I have self respect.

[–]SANDERS4POTUS69 57 ポイント58 ポイント  (15子コメント)

Everyone has self respect until somebody starts waving that fat stack $100 bills in your face.

[–]TheEgosLastStand 15 ポイント16 ポイント  (3子コメント)

I don't see how any of what you said makes this kinda shit not a privilege women enjoy. Like just because most people would enjoy that if they could doesn't change anything.

[–]Alequo 14 ポイント15 ポイント  (10子コメント)

Sure and I don't necessarily have a problem with that. But to be told we're the privileged ones when women have access to the free atm known as desperate men, it's hard to believe and becomes incredibly annoying.

[–]unthused 65 ポイント66 ポイント  (9子コメント)

I have a friend who does this constantly; asks random dudes on Tinder she has zero interest in to buy her stuff (mostly pizza for her friends) then blocks them. She likes to brag about it on Bookface.

Unfortunately, she is a very attractive dancer (think strip club) so dudes she matches with will usually do just about anything. I mostly feel bad for them and give her shit about it when it's particularly egregious.

[–]dwarfwhore 67 ポイント68 ポイント  (2子コメント)

I know a girl named Rachel and she does this on snapchat all day. Posts a covered nude and then asks for pizza to be sent to a specific address. 30 minutes later posts pic of stuffed crust pizza and name of the sucker who got it for her with a <3. Shes getting fat though so the con wont last much longer I think.

[–]Pepeinherthroat 20 ポイント21 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Well yeah if you're soloing a stuffed crust pizza on the reg.

[–]CrescentSmile 17 ポイント18 ポイント  (4子コメント)

Why is she your friend? She sounds like a shitty person.

[–]welliamwallace 54 ポイント55 ポイント  (7子コメント)

Evolution and biological supply and demand.

[–]Jah_Ith_Ber 34 ポイント35 ポイント  (6子コメント)

Is the implication here that since it's natural, or a product of math that it's okay? Because rape is also natural and a straight forward consequence of the numbers.

[–]TotesMessenger 51 ポイント52 ポイント  (33子コメント)

I'm a bot, bleep, bloop. Someone has linked to this thread from another place on reddit:

If you follow any of the above links, please respect the rules of reddit and don't vote in the other threads. (Info / Contact)

[–]Legendhidde 240 ポイント241 ポイント  (11子コメント)

They angry again.

[–]StarDestinyGuy 153 ポイント154 ポイント  (0子コメント)

That's their default state

[–]Ontoanotheraccount 48 ポイント49 ポイント  (5子コメント)

They banned me real quick. I guess because I interrupted the "circlequeef".

As an aside, "circlequeef" is not a feminine form of circlejerk. Maybe circleflick or circlerub or circleJill would be closer.

[–]solitudechirs 62 ポイント63 ポイント  (13子コメント)

Shouldn't that link be np.reddit? Or are they openly allowed to brigade stuff if they want?

[–]jmalbo35 21 ポイント22 ポイント  (1子コメント)

np links aren't really for non-participation. It's just the link to the Nepalese version of reddit, but since reddit hasn't actually implemented Nepalese as a language option it doesn't do anything.

Nobody is required to use them because they don't actually do anything.

[–]RollTide09 11 ポイント12 ポイント  (8子コメント)

np links are stupid anyway since you can just remove the np if you want to vote. Plus, the admins have never said anything about them. It's an unofficial thing.

[–]GregorF92 15 ポイント16 ポイント  (7子コメント)

It's acknowledged by pretty much every other subreddit that np.reddit should be used to stop brigading. By allowing regular links it's essentially encouraging it.

[–]Omnimark 27 ポイント28 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I mean, at least she wasn't upset at being duped

[–]What_did_she_reply 2094 ポイント2095 ポイント  (56子コメント)

[–]TheNolder 508 ポイント509 ポイント  (52子コメント)

I like this.

[–]types-with_penis 560 ポイント561 ポイント  (50子コメント)

[–]I_GOT_NO_NAME 1625 ポイント1626 ポイント  (40子コメント)

Must be really small because you didn't type anything

[–]98Thunder98 890 ポイント891 ポイント  (154子コメント)

so did you get the date? because, honestly, if she didn't get pissy about it and still went out with you shes a keeper in my book...

[–]Net_GeekNot your sugar daddy[S] 1902 ポイント1903 ポイント  (139子コメント)

Nope. Slowly devolved into death threats. I think she's my type.

[–]GruloSmash 431 ポイント432 ポイント  (125子コメント)

Screenshots?

[–]Net_GeekNot your sugar daddy[S] 1566 ポイント1567 ポイント  (115子コメント)

OP delivers. butnotthecookies

Death threats

[–]hiruburu 995 ポイント996 ポイント  (14子コメント)

That looks tongue in cheek, I wanted full blown death threats

[–]FlyLikeRabbi 283 ポイント284 ポイント  (9子コメント)

I want to see period blood smeared on their faces, them hiding in your bushes with spears and tribal shields

[–]Freddan95 518 ポイント519 ポイント  (1子コメント)

I expected worse, they are obviously just joking. Still a good job, OP.

[–]ilikerazors 101 ポイント102 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Pretty clear op was putting his tongue against his cheek as well.

[–]imdungrowinup 480 ポイント481 ポイント  (25子コメント)

She actually seems nice.

[–]TheArabianPizzaGuy 328 ポイント329 ポイント  (7子コメント)

yeah she took the whole not paying thing well right away, I would actually go on a date with her. But we're splitting the bill

[–]Royalflush0 104 ポイント105 ポイント  (11子コメント)

yeah she took the whole not paying thing well right away, I would actually go on a date with her. But we're splitting the bill

[–]JoeB1Kanobi13 275 ポイント276 ポイント  (6子コメント)

Am I having a fucking stroke?

[–]Aimless_Drifter 86 ポイント87 ポイント  (3子コメント)

yeah she took the whole not paying thing well right away, I would actually go on a date with her. But we're splitting the bill

[–]IWasFunOnce 27 ポイント28 ポイント  (0子コメント)

yeah she took the whole not paying thing well right away, I would actually go on a date with her. But we're splitting the bill

[–]Fthecreatorlol u wild, wyd tho 50 ポイント51 ポイント  (3子コメント)

yeah she took the whole not paying thing well right away, I would actually go on a date with her. But we're splitting the bill

[–]Spoggerific 31 ポイント32 ポイント  (2子コメント)

yeah she took the whole not paying thing well right away, I would actually go on a date with her. But we're splitting the bill

[–]TheArabianPizzaGuy 49 ポイント50 ポイント  (0子コメント)

yeah she took the whole not paying thing well right away, I would actually go on a date with her. But we're splitting the bill

[–]here_4_jailbreak 29 ポイント30 ポイント  (15子コメント)

She's proven to be cool. Order pizza on another day without telling her. If I find a girl that cool I would actually consider marrying her.

[–]lostintransactions 49 ポイント50 ポイント  (2子コメント)

? Really? You would marry a girl who asks random people for things and makes false promises? Good Luck.

[–]jombeesuncle 28 ポイント29 ポイント  (1子コメント)

I married the coolest girl I ever dated and she has made the best ex wife I've ever known.

[–]Fun96 19 ポイント20 ポイント  (25子コメント)

"one of them cried." wtf????

[–]Karmageddeon 368 ポイント369 ポイント  (22子コメント)

J O K E S

[–]Bannakaffalatta1 179 ポイント180 ポイント  (18子コメント)

I feel like there's a lot of people on Reddit who don't understand how people can be tongue-in-cheek.

[–]cbble_nrrw 20 ポイント21 ポイント  (4子コメント)

I feel like there's a lot of people on Reddit who don't understand people, because they're socially inept.

[–]-MangoDown 16 ポイント17 ポイント  (0子コメント)

That's one of the downsides of being on the spectrum.

[–]ddpowkk 12 ポイント13 ポイント  (0子コメント)

What?! You left out the best part!

[–]rates_nipples 105 ポイント106 ポイント  (13子コメント)

Wouldn't date a pussypass invoker you crazy?

[–]Net_GeekNot your sugar daddy[S] 208 ポイント209 ポイント  (8子コメント)

9/10

[–]Saint453 41 ポイント42 ポイント  (6子コメント)

Ah... that makes sense.

[–]William_Turdsworth 74 ポイント75 ポイント  (5子コメント)

And here we have mankind's struggle, laid out perfecty in the form of three comments.

[–]duel_dude 20 ポイント21 ポイント  (1子コメント)

"I am a beacon of knowledge blazing across a black sea of ignorance; so buy me cookies "- her probably

[–]98Thunder98 10 ポイント11 ポイント  (0子コメント)

dude, i would slam it so hard...

[–]MrFlagg 827 ポイント828 ポイント  (114子コメント)

$27 for 18 cookies?

gender isnt the only thing this generation is retarded about

[–]Waifustealer123 366 ポイント367 ポイント  (17子コメント)

Maybe they're yuge? I have seen yuuuge cookies.

Believe me.

[–]nellybellissima 191 ポイント192 ポイント  (8子コメント)

They're not. But they are really really rich so it's never been more than three cookies for me in one sitting and that's still pushing it.

[–]BeginnerLevelFoodie 239 ポイント240 ポイント  (26子コメント)

What're retarded is making a judgment on the cost of an item before you know the true value of it.

How big is the cookie? How does it taste compared to the average cookie? What sets this cookie apart from others? How do they justify a higher purchasing cost?

A burger at McDonald's costs from $1 to $4, so is it retarded to pay for a $8-$10 burger at a restaurant that specializes in burgers?

But really, the reason these cookies can cost so much is because they are open late at night so they can take advantage of the munchies from stoners/drunks.

[–]Untrained_Monkey 151 ポイント152 ポイント  (0子コメント)

You aren't paying for the cookie, you're paying the for availability of fresh baked goods at 3AM. The prices cover the overhead. Cookies aren't my thing, but I can see why the price is reasonable.

[–]SANDERS4POTUS69 44 ポイント45 ポイント  (9子コメント)

I sexually identify as a chocolate chip cookie.

My preferred pronouns are gooey, moist, and warm.

[–]bionix90 35 ポイント36 ポイント  (31子コメント)

I agree. $1.50 per cookie? That's too freaking much.

[–]TheseBonesAlone 185 ポイント186 ポイント  (19子コメント)

Nah see. Insomnia cookies are legit.

[–]bionix90 33 ポイント34 ポイント  (17子コメント)

Do they give blowjobs? Because that's the only way to justify that price.

[–]TheseBonesAlone 129 ポイント130 ポイント  (9子コメント)

You go to Insomnia Cookies on two occasions.

  1. You've just spent a few hours drinking in one of downtown BG's fine drinking establishments. You're drunk. You're freshly 21 barely out on your own in College drunk. So you stumble in and accost the customer service with "Gimme cookie." You are too drunk to order cookies properly and too drunk to achieve an erection. The blow job is irrelevant and that cookie at 2 am is worth the dollar fifty.

  2. You're very, very stoned. You want to get in and get out so you can go home and get more stoned. Only problem is everybody knows you're stoned. DUDE EVERYONE KNOWS YOU'RE STONED. So you get to the counter and there's the nice clerk, and he knows you're stoned, but that's ok. He is too. You pay him that dollar fifty because you are brother bonded in hash and he deserves this for being extra fucking cool.

[–]GiveMeDog 28 ポイント29 ポイント  (2子コメント)

Clearly you've never had Insomnia cookies. It's like sex in your mouth. Best cookies I've ever had.

[–]Hahnsolo11 11 ポイント12 ポイント  (0子コメント)

In which case I think it's a steal

[–]Zeyz 10 ポイント11 ポイント  (0子コメント)

You must have never had insomnia cookies. They're amazing. Not to mention when we're drunk at 2am and want cookies, the options are incredibly slim and they'll deliver them in like 20 minutes.

[–]procrastination55 785 ポイント786 ポイント  (60子コメント)

"my roomates said they'll all date you too" if that's not the most patronizing thing holy shit

[–]darren_co 319 ポイント320 ポイント  (22子コメント)

Wow people are sooooo sensitive. Chick was making a joke.

[–]man_on_hill 116 ポイント117 ポイント  (5子コメント)

Wow people are sooooo sensitive

That's this subreddit in a nutshell.

[–]kiohoka 50 ポイント51 ポイント  (0子コメント)

It's like this sub thinks everything's a pussypass if she doesn't immediately bend over and let you ream her.

[–]Valalvax 203 ポイント204 ポイント  (2子コメント)

It was at this point I fully realized that there were multiple pictures

[–]pm_me_taylorswift 10 ポイント11 ポイント  (1子コメント)

It was at this point I noticed that she was twelve feet tall and a reptile from the Paleozoic era.

[–]clown_pants 126 ポイント127 ポイント  (11子コメント)

That's funny. I read "None of us will ever actually do anything with you but you can come over and boost all our egos a couple times"

[–]Naolini 41 ポイント42 ポイント  (17子コメント)

Man, fragile dude's who can't take a joke from a woman are everywhere on reddit. Sad!

[–]Fthecreatorlol u wild, wyd tho 466 ポイント467 ポイント  (11子コメント)

This story had a greater comeback than Lazarus.

[–]mvpetriPee on me 46 ポイント47 ポイント  (2子コメント)

Oh man, you know when you are in reddit well enough and you see the same comment repeated over and over again?

Thanks for bringing me new content lol

[–]AFlyingNun 14 ポイント15 ポイント  (1子コメント)

His character gimmick sucks though. It's only good if you get a good Devil Deal ASAP so you can purposefully kill him off and get "free" swag.

Also his haircut looks dorky.

[–]xjayroox 455 ポイント456 ポイント  (9子コメント)

I appreciate how they want actual sugar products from a sugar daddy at least

[–]bobrossthemobboss 356 ポイント357 ポイント  (8子コメント)

I recommended this to someone a few months ago. Thank you for actually doing this. This is glorious.

Edit here we are

[–]namegoeswhere 161 ポイント162 ポイント  (2子コメント)

The pizza thing would be great, but I can't help but feel for the hypothetical delivery driver.

"Oh great, thanks for the pizza!"

"Uhh, that'll be $25?..."

[–]jamiegandolf 34 ポイント35 ポイント  (1子コメント)

How about I go on a date with you for it? All my friends will date you too.

[–]lani_dubs 149 ポイント150 ポイント  (62子コメント)

What a scummy person. I have never in my entire life expected a man to pay for me or buy me anything,even when he wanted to, I can't imagine asking a dude that's basically a stranger to buy me anything even more.

[–]Redmeyercat 129 ポイント130 ポイント  (37子コメント)

It happens all the time. Can we blame them? It's expected worldwide that 50% of the population has to pay for the other 50%'s shit for the sake of chivalry.

[–]lani_dubs 98 ポイント99 ポイント  (32子コメント)

Hmmmm... maybe it's just because I'm from a city, but not many women I know expect men to pay for their dates. In fact most of my friends feel really uncomfortable when dudes pay the entire check. I don't know many women that ever just expect it or even want it. So I'd have to say I disagree with you on that. In fact the reason this is so outrageous of a request is because most women don't ask or expect it-- if they did no one would bat an eye at this post...

[–]jerkmachine 49 ポイント50 ポイント  (6子コメント)

Honestly several of my female friends openly admit to conning men into buying things for them, specifically drinks. In fact one of my friends last night told me that she "doesn't tell them she has a boyfriend" if someone offers to buy them drinks. After I told her that's no different than telling a woman you're interested in her for sex and then bouncing after you get it she said "what asshole would actually do that." Pretty manipulative women literally live in a different world of privilege. I never ever buy women drinks unless I'm already on an established date with them, and one of the reasons I was attracted to my current girlfriend is because I knew she was at least more decent than 50% of women in the modern dating scene for refusing to let me pay for her drinks, and then switching my card at the bar with hers when I went to the bathroom. It was refreshing as fuck.

EDIT: to add, this female friend I was having a conversation told me, with sincerity, that she was being a nice person for "offering small talk" to these men who were buying her drinks.

[–]VinDenim 15 ポイント16 ポイント  (1子コメント)

I had an 18 year old girl testing this out with me at the bar the other night (drinking age is 18 where I am). She just straight up asked me to buy her a drink after I got her name. I laughed at her and said "are you seriously panhandling in a bar right now?" And she got very apologetic and embarrassed.

[–]Redmeyercat 15 ポイント16 ポイント  (3子コメント)

When I lived in the city it was better, refreshing actually. "Going dutch" should definitely be the norm everywhere.

[–]Arronwy 13 ポイント14 ポイント  (5子コメント)

In DC, been on tons of Tinder/online dates. I would say 80% of those we split the bill.

[–]SANDERS4POTUS69 15 ポイント16 ポイント  (0子コメント)

And even then, they only want the easy parts of Chivalry. None of that getting sliced in half with a broadsword stuff.

[–]SenseiMadara 49 ポイント50 ポイント  (14子コメント)

She asked for fucking cookies that shit wasn't meant to be taken serious from the start.

[–]Wahoowa16 19 ポイント20 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Sounds like you haven't been to a university with multiple cookie delivery services

[–]Naolini 12 ポイント13 ポイント  (3子コメント)

Ikr? It's pretty obvious from the texts she was joking around. Reddit's egos are too fragile.

[–]SuperSaiyanNoob 11 ポイント12 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Well OP said she was a 9 so probably had people buying her stuff her whole life without even needing to ask.

[–]grimmjow66 102 ポイント103 ポイント  (0子コメント)

that's how you dominate cookie monsters

[–]Plz_and_danks 94 ポイント95 ポイント  (16子コメント)

Holy shit, when I read this I was thinking "hm, I thought Insomnia was only in my college town... Maybe it's a chain". But then she said BG... Shame on her for not getting Cookie Jar instead

[–]mvpetriPee on me 67 ポイント68 ポイント  (5子コメント)

Who the hell is called Samantha ████?

[–]zh4000 45 ポイント46 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Flawless victory

[–]Sythine 37 ポイント38 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Beesst tinder post ever, never thought of baiting out pickups with pay cash.

[–]zpowell 26 ポイント27 ポイント  (12子コメント)

Go falcons!!!!

[–]Net_GeekNot your sugar daddy[S] 39 ポイント40 ポイント  (4子コメント)

We must meet at the bars promptly tonight at 11. Look for the man with the beard. I will order the cookies.

[–]jhartwell 21 ポイント22 ポイント  (7子コメント)

Does anybody else think she was being playful rather than expecting actual cookies?

[–]pacachan 13 ポイント14 ポイント  (2子コメント)

I would.. if I hadn't seen this done a bunch of other times. Usually the girl just asks for pizza, though. They wouldn't do it if guys didn't order it. Pretty sad

[–]-ohohohitsmagic-24/M/Solid 4 21 ポイント22 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Bravo 👏🏽

[–]scoobdoobler 19 ポイント20 ポイント  (0子コメント)

r/pussypassdenied will masturbate to this.

[–]afsdjkll 16 ポイント17 ポイント  (3子コメント)

sugar cookie daddy

[–]Net_GeekNot your sugar daddy[S] 49 ポイント50 ポイント  (2子コメント)

Does this sub do flair? Can this be my flair? Get a mod in here pronto!

edit: Got the flair.

[–]redtoasti 12 ポイント13 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Is this how love works?

[–]OzUnder 10 ポイント11 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Too many people have fallen for it