Suspect wife is starting emotional affair

Archwinger · 2日前

Often, more sex and better behavior toward the husband accompany cheating.

She's in a better mood due to the emotional high her new man is giving her, so she's nicer to you. She also feels guilty, so she overcompensates with you.

Once a woman's getting her dopamine fix from all of the emotions involved with a new man, stopping that is like getting between two fighting dogs. Confronting her won't fix this. It will just make her more careful about hiding it. And make you look weak.

You don't have kids, so leaving is actually a strong option. Start living the single life. Go out at night, do your own shit. It's not like you're skipping bed time with the kids. You don't have any. Meet girls, get numbers, have fun, come home, make a beeline for the shower.

But still escalate with your wife every night like normal. Fuck her like crazy.

Go ahead and get all of the info you can from her phone and other sources, but don't confront her with it. You just want it so you know all of the information, which will help you make decisions regarding your own plans and behavior.

CanisFinn · 2日前

I went through this 14 years ago with my wife. I held it together. She came around...but it was hell. And honestly, the emotional capital expenditure of the whole thing is ASTRONOMICAL! Literally bankrupted all my emotional capital for a decade. We will be married 17 years this weekend, and things are better than ever, seriously good...but honestly if I could get a do over I would have just left. It is a long painful path, and there will always be that voice in the back of your mind. Trust is never fully recoverable.

RecoveringBlue · 2日前

I just went through this. Read my old posts. The main difference is that I have young kids. I gave her a choice, sign papers or straighten up. If not for kids, there would have been no choice to make.

What I took out of my experience was OI. I now regularly chat up girls I encounter and I'm thankful to learn what was really under my wife's hood. You're married to a woman that wants to cheat on you and you don't have kids. WTF is even your question? Take this opportunity to learn what women are and what you can be. Take this opportunity to truly unplug and be reborn.

redmountainpill · 2日前

Why do you want to stay with this woman? Really, what value does she add to your life that a couple plates wouldn't? Yeah, you can get over an emotional affair. I wouldn't even bat an eye if my wife was getting her feelz out with another dude. I've got better things to do with my time than worry about her.

But why would you want to emotionally invest in her if you don't have kids?

druganswer · 2日前

u/spexer and u/archwinger gave great advice. Make sure you don't get your wife pregnant, by the way. As in condoms. You control the birth control from now on.

To be honest, I would say this isn't something you even want to force yourself to have to "get over." And will you be able to trust your wife again? When she gets a new job that you can't spy on her at?

This isn't starting an emotional affair; this is an emotional affair. And this isn't a one time moment of weakness, this is a long drawn out thing. Some major planning went into their cake date.

I want to say that I agree with u/spexer on the "if the script completely flips and she really works for your forgiveness," thing, but I don't know if I even do. A strong man would chalk this one up as an L and walk right out that door with as little drama as possible. Consider it you both getting a valuable life lesson.

trp_dude · 2日前

she took her phone out of my hand when I grabbed it once (we shared them often) nervously

noticed she logged out of work mail (never did that) . Being paranoid I tried to login and found out she changed password

Dead giveaway. No kids? Take the money and run like hell.

postscript1114 · 2日前

OP, consider yourself lucky that you can end things and there are no kids involved. That brings a whole other level of legal and mental issues.

spexer · 2日前

1st - document everything. 2nd - assume the worst.

Likelyhood is this has gone much further than them "sharing cake".

You know she is keeping secrets from you.. but will she LIE to you? test this, without something so obvious that will let her know you know... Don't question the LIE she makes.

To each their own, but for me, the action I would take is: After getting all the documentation I need, I would visit my lawyer and get the papers drawn up. I would calmly confront her, and let her know that the relationship is over, because of this affair. I would also tell the guy's wife.

Now if she really works hard on saving it, I would honestly consider it. She would clearly end it with this guy and no longer work there... and have a huge mountain to climb to get any trust back.

my 2 cents

drty_pr · 1日前

Personally, I would end it man. u/Firestarter said it best. You don't need to be stuck in this sub for uour whole life. You have an opportunity to cease the moment and excel man. A year from now you won't regret it.

I wouldn't tell his wife til after the fact. I'd tell her when you have a "secret" to share. I'd tell her at a "remote" bar. I'd make sure you order her a strong drink before you tell her. I'd order her a second drink after I told her. I think you see where I'm going with this.

Aechzen · 1日前

You mentioned going nuclear, by which I assume you meant divorce.

But there's another level of nuclear, which is human resources. Many employers explicitly forbid romantic relationships between employees, and certainly on company time and while using company resources (the email, and if it's a company phone). And it's worse if there's a supervisory relationship involved. There are obviously exceptions for people who are already married.

I think you should already be looking for another job for lots of reasons, including having a life separate from your wife. But it's also a good idea so that if you need to, you can pull the columns down on both of them on your way out the door to your new job.

One more thing: keylogger. Use one. It's your wife, and you have a right to know.

justthenewman · 1日前

*OP here. Got the logs. *

No overt signs of getting physical, but lots of nasty stuff.

He suggested to drive her back home when I had day off, points out he lives close to us (how does he know where we live? Jesus) . She refused, because I set this up with reliable coworker before.

She wrote she 'had so much hassle to get out of going to my husbands lecture', he responds 'for me? I' m flattered'.

One sexual comment about the content of the comic book they swapped. He says that fucked up stuff gets him going.

Generally - he pushes, she does not remove herself. Lies, manipulation and flirtiness. Personal details.

Gentlemen, decision has been made. I'm off to see the lawyerino. Will be back.

Griever114 · 1日前

Honestly, there cannot be any sane reason to not divorce her right fucking now.

bangorlol · 2日前

I've got more pride than is healthy and a great memory. I probably wouldn't forgive the intentional sneaking around and would cut my losses there. No room in my life for an unfaithful woman with the prior expressed agreement of fidelity. More attractive women are available to me. No sense in wasting time dealing with one that can't be trusted.

Borsao66 · 2日前

"If there's a doubt, there is no doubt." - Sam in Ronin

SexistFlyingPig · 1日前

I don't know why you're writing here. Maybe just to vent.

Your wife is either currently cheating on you, or is going to cheat on you. It's going to be with the guy you both work with, and it's going to suck for you.

Be prepared for this outcome. Just give her divorce papers to sign. There are no kids, which is great. Make certain she signs away all rights to your money and house. Kick her out of the house.

BluepillProfessor · 1日前

The hamster squeeks: It's not "cheating" if my husband is getting what he wants....right?

she took her phone out of my hand when I grabbed it

Read The Key Logger and fucking key log all of her accounts. Don't be a dumb ass. This is textbook. Women often start fucking their husbands when they get fresh caulk to fill their suddenly well used holes.

crimsonkodiak · 2日前

Sure sounds like it. The fact that she's not willing to cut off contact is the most disconcerting part. She either doesn't think it's wrong or doesn't respect you enough to stop doing it. Have you thrown down the gauntlet yet? Does she know you're planning to leave over this?

Start by having that conversation, then get the chat history and act based on that.

alphabeta49 · 2日前

WTF is PFPFPM?

All_Ads_Deceive · 2日前

She's already cross the line. The one thing you can't do is sit back and be a cuck. Here are the options: 1) Divorce her because she already cross boundaries and disrespected you 2) Tell her what friends at work told you. Tell her it's unacceptable and you will file for divorce if she doesn't cut contact with him 3) Put the fear of God into this phaggot.

I suggest 1) since you don't have children. Definitely don't do 3) because he's a co worker and clearly doesn't fear you.

indivisibleremainder · 2日前

1) Thank the gods you have no children with her, 2) Dump her

bogeyd6 · 2日前

Not exactly MRP material, but written well enough. Please take the comments from the users very personal.

Nyquil-Junkie · 2日前

I'm not sure why you are dragging your feet and wringing your hands wondering whats going on.

Just cut the shit and ask her WTF she is up to. Or confront them both together and ask. Why waste time playning games?

Or if you need more proof hire someone to tail them and document their activities. It'll probably serve you well in court.

drqxx · 1日前

If you don't have kids with her this could be a huge blessing however you're going to go through hell first.

Chump_No_More · 1日前

Wrote about this 3 months ago... Lurking Cuckolds Welcome!

forever_alpha · 1日前

It'd be nice if you gave us an update as soon as you get the logs.

I've been in the Pick Up scene für 7 years and on TRP for about 2. I've read many, many stories that sound similar to yours.

Honestly that whole story (the pattern of it) looks like she has been cheating. And I am not telling you this because I want you to feel paranoid or something. But that is - just like the dude wrote above - a clear sign of cheating (no, not just emotional).

I would say get the logs, look for evidence but trust me: If you confront her. You won't hear the truth. You will hear excuses aka the hamster spinning. You will NEVER get the truth out of her mouth.

So either you try to get evidence for your inner peace (I know that feel) or you just leave her right away because the trust is gone and she crossed your boundaries.

In a few months - if you keep evolving with TRP, Lifting and books - you will feel like a new person and happier than ever.

By the way: You can already degrade her to plate level. Seriously. She fucked up bad by lying straight to your face. If my girlfriend did that - and I mean even if she just did that and nothing else - I wouldn't even think about it, I'd just cut her off and maybe fuck her once a while (Plate). There would not be any commitment from my side anymore.

I know it hurts, we have feelings too, but don't make a fool out of yourself and start accepting the truth. That's what Red Pill (to me at least) is all about.

Accepting the bitter/hurtful truth.

Regards,

FA

darla10 · 2日前

You must've bored her to tears. Why not move on to younger, hotter, tighter. She's obviously moved on to bigger, better, stronger.

VickVaseline · 1日前

Ummm... what is PFPFPM ?

walestone · 5時間前

I feel you should hack her phone and find out what she is hiding you can hire TK his email is cybertoks@gmail.com he. An hey you gps locations, text messages and call logs in real time

weakandsensitive · 2日前

Good for her.

Why would you want to put effort into someone who doesn't want you?

stonepimpletilists · 2日前

Imnguessing this is a wall of wmotions, 0 sidebar.

Ill be back to nuke this thread

sven_igortsen · 2日前

Part 4 of married man sex life deals with cheating. Have you reviewed it recently?

Three things I'd be doing. Take her phone and put a spy app on it so you know about every call, every text, every message. mspy.com it can be technically a challenge to root a phone so perhaps all you'll be able to get it the keylogger and updates about texts and calls and e-mails. Hopefully that's enough. If you can root it, you can also see all facebook messages and whatsapp messages.

Next, assuming there is evidence of cheating I'd go beat the shit out of him. Surprise him so you make sure you win. Take a bat with you if you need to. Even if you lose the fight you need to show him there is going to be a physical consequence to his shit.

Next, tell his wife and share proof with her. He's fucked with your marriage, time to fuck with his.

If there's been physical cheating, if she's touched his dick you should decide now if you want to keep this slut as your wife. If you do, or if the cheating has been emotional now is the time to put her on a short leash. Any more contact of any kind with mr. X outside of strictly necessary work related is the end of the relationship. She immediately starts to find a new job, if you have enough money she quits same day.

Now you also have an excuse to fuck a few plates. Enjoy yourself.

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If you don't have kids with her this could be a huge blessing however you're going to go through hell first.