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Rant/VentingThe great are alone but not lonely (self.TheRedPill)

hardisgood が 投稿

As you venture on the path of self improvement, there will come a point when you look from one side to the other and notice that there is nobody there alongside you. Internally motivated, real, self improvement will lead you to a point of having less things in common with those around you.

Becoming mentally and physically strong will make you uninterested in the common. Where most flock to you'll want to avoid. What most enjoy you'll find no satisfaction in. Where the willpower of the common crumbles, yours will remain standing like a wall erect.

Become used to being alone in your actions and thoughts. The more things you have in common with average men the more average you will be. The average will try their best to pull you back in at the first sign of you breaking off into an improved lifestyle. Their ability to pull you back in will bring them comfort.

Internal motivation is the key to weeding out the bullshit behaviour of the common, soft, comfortable man. You will recognize the bullshit behaviour and conversations, I don't need to specify what they are. Tune them out, ignore the desire for comfort, and always remember why you do what you do. You'll become good at it.

You will be alone, and it will seem like every woman is a loud-mouthed, phlegm-coughing, basic, fat bodied, reality TV watching bitch. You are right, most of them are.

If you understand and accept that you'll be alone on your path to become great, you'll never be lonely.

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[–]HAMMURABl 93 ポイント94 ポイント  (1子コメント)

The top of the mountain is lonely. You'll get used to it.

[–]caveo_rattus 48 ポイント49 ポイント  (8子コメント)

Yea this is definitely true. Most of my friends are in their mid to late 20s, and I've watched them become more and more feminized and soft over the last few years. I think what happens is, they end up in LTRs and spend 99.99% of their free time around a girl. They get comfortable jobs, go out drinking several nights a week, smoke weed, and shitpost political rants on facebook. Talking to them on the phone or in person literally feels like I'm talking to a girl. They've lost what little edge they once had.

It's definitely an odd thing when you come to understand that your path will be much different than theirs in the long run. I always felt different from my friends, even in highschool, but now what once felt like a small gap has become a chasm. It seems like 99% of guys are following the same path. Like, not a single one of my friends has avoided falling into the trap.

OTOH, I'm sure I seem equally weird and shitty to them. Every time I'm around them now in a social context, I feel like me just being there makes them uncomfortable, because I'm so out of touch with the weird, feminized vibing that goes on. Everything they say and do seems superficial and pedantic. I think its instinctive to want to bring close friends into the fold in any endeavor, so I guess thats why it bugs me. I want them to avoid the traps of comfort and stay at their edge, so I don't have to go it completely alone, but in reality it truly is a lonely path.

[–]jackandjill22 12 ポイント13 ポイント  (4子コメント)

Seems like to me someone from a upper socioeconomic bracket. That some guys take the "path of least resistance" follow their families direction, perhaps even in relation to women & never venture beyond their doorstep into anything risky or dangerous. Since they never learn life-skills as they get older it becomes more difficult for them to try new things because it seems scary & unfamiliar to them. They end up having more to loose than to gain. So, eventually they become slaves to the white-collar never leaving their bubble except for occasional structured traveling/trips.

[–]caveo_rattus 18 ポイント19 ポイント  (3子コメント)

I think that's definitely part of it, following the path laid out for them and being fairly comfortable just by virtue of their fortunate circumstance. I also think it comes down to individual biology. The disconnect for me is that, for a long time these guys portrayed themselves as edgy and fully embraced the masculine subculture, i.e. sports, fraternities, etc, and their identities were basically centered around those activities.

But now that they don't have those clubs and activities woven into their lives by default, you get a true sense of who they were the whole time, and it isn't at all how they portrayed themselves. 100% of the time, once they are out of college, they settle into a comfortable relationship with a girl who has them on a leash, and start cultivating a social identity in the same fashion that women do, using social media as the primary medium for advertising. It's literally like a 180, and for me its annoying because it exposes them for frauds who were just pretending to be alpha because it was part of their current identity and what the culture they found themselves in currently supported. Their entire sense of self-worth, confidence, etc. was just an offshoot of being in a frat, or being on a team. It was all a charade. They were just betas masquerading, using the status their clubs and activities gave them to bolster their confidence.

The point I'm trying to make I guess is that to me, when you allow your environment and the people around you to dictate your principles and your identity, you're a fraud. Now, their identity is their relationships, so they are basically identical in demeanor to the women they are dating. There was never any real substance to them, never any real depth. They've always been slates for other people to write on, and IMO, their biology never really gave them a choice anyways. The disillusionment I've had with my friends I guess is similar to the disillusionment that most people have with women when they find this forum or have a bad relationship or whatever. It's just another reality-altering "Redpill" so to speak. The people who you think are your friends aren't who you think they are, and the alphas who are authentic to the core usually don't make good friends.

[–]SomeGuyNY 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Guys that go against the grain by instinct and deep self believe are rare. In my case it's probably because I'm fairly high on the autistic scale, was always most comfortable around myself + my above average reasoning abilities always managed to expose average joe and jane as sheeple.

Relationships change you though and women definitely tend to manage to take off most guy's edge. It happened to me as well in an LTR.

[–]Jaxx_Teller 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Don't disqualify men that are in LTRs altogether, they're not all completely beta. But most of them are.

[–]Mckallidon 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (2子コメント)

Having an intact soul is offensive to nihilists. The older I get the more I understand the books American Psycho and Fight Club, among many others. The more I hear most other people talk, the more I want to live in a cabin in the woods lol.

[–]ElOweTea 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

"The more I hear most other people talk, the more I want to live in a cabin in the woods lol." I feel you on this one.

[–]conquerlifegroup 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

You should read Atlas shrugged man. Could take you a few years if you pace your self, but I think you'd really like it.

[–]jillstain 25 ポイント26 ポイント  (2子コメント)

Or you could simply just surround yourself with like-minded people instead of isolating and thinking you're better than everyone.

Just because you don't hangout with your "average" friends or see eye to eye with them on particular life philosophies doesn't mean you're any better than them. This kind of circle jerk thinking will lead you to being a loner, and thus having no connections to step up the ladder to greater plateaus.

Even if your friends are "average" it doesn't mean you have to write them off and 86 them from your life. I have plenty of "average" friends back home who work average jobs and have literally taken like 0 risks in life. I still enjoy their company and catching up when I'm home visiting family on the holidays or whenever I come back for a weekend.

Instead, seek out people who are on similar paths as you. If you want to be a professional musician, move to LA.. If you want to be the next rockstar computer guy, go to silicon valley.. If you want to be the next theatre star, go to New York.. That is, if you really have the brains and guts to compete with the best.

You have to learn how to meet the right people and network to get anywhere.. not just hangout on a fucking internet forum and stroke your ego saying "I am soooo much better than my average friends who work at taco bell and some random cubicle job.. They don't even know this red pill stuff!" It's like Squidward on Spongebob Squarepants thinking he's so fucking above everyone that works at the Krusty Crab for simply being a shitty clarinet player.

When you're actually on a level where it's appropriate to consider yourself "above the rest" you will actually be above the rest because you'll be hanging out with other people who are above the rest. You'll be at the party with champagne and caviar instead of Bob and Nancy's backyard barbecue.

[–]caveo_rattus 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (1子コメント)

I think that an outsider identity automatically gets established, and it isn't necessarily a choice you make to circlejerk or feel superior to others. I literally feel more alone the older I get, and it isn't because I feel like I'm better than other people, but rather that my life and goals are diverging more and more from everyone I've ever been friends with, and I think its a universal thing.

I'm not implying that I'm perfect or that the road I'm taking is superior, just that me and my friends are on very different paths, and its a jolting realization to come to, because you spend so much of your adolescence growing with your friends, and having a lot in common with them. Then suddenly, in your mid to late twenties, people start falling into categories that they will mostly stay in for life, and those categories are widely divergent from what you had always known them as growing up.

The ultimate realization you come to is that things with them will never be the same as they were, and you are basically on your own from now on. Sure, you can make friends who are more like you, following the path that you are on, but those friendships won't really be the same, because the path that you are on demands autonomy, rather than co-dependence.

The more autonomous you become, the less you can be a part of the tribe, because the tribe demands sameness. People can't co-exist peacefully in the tribe if everyone isn't on a level plane, and so you being autonomous in itself makes other people uncomfortable. Just by virtue of trying to be something better or different, you are inadvertently fucking with others who are trying to keep everything equalized and socially placid. The more you try to accomplish and the more you prioritize your goals and desires above everything else, the more isolated you become. Thats just how it works.

[–]conquerlifegroup 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Dam, I feel a calling to this path, but i guess it's sad in a way too.

[–]villa_gotaha 16 ポイント17 ポイント  (7子コメント)

I was often teased as a kid and struggled to make friends due to my reputation of being hard-headed, stubborn, and bleeding with narcissism. Easy to say, I spent a lot of time alone as a child and I developed thick skin quickly.

Now that I'm older, I see that my personality has actually accelerated my progress in reaching the peak of the mountain and now I am thankful that I am an "asshole".

....All because I didn't conform

[–]M1ster_MeeSeeks 22 ポイント23 ポイント  (0子コメント)

You may enjoy this quote even more than I do:

“Man is by nature a social animal; an individual who is unsocial naturally and not accidentally is either beneath our notice or more than human. Society is something that precedes the individual. Anyone who either cannot lead the common life or is so self-sufficient as not to need to, and therefore does not partake of society, is either a beast or a god.” –Aristotle, Politics

[–]aDrunkenWhaler 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Now that I'm older, I see that my personality has actually accelerated my progress in reaching the peak of the mountain

What does 'peak of the mountain' mean for you?

[–]DaBaulz 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

While the OP has a point in that a strong man should never fear being alone, comments like this are less about being RedPill and more about MenGoingTheirOwnWay.

If you don't have strong alpha friends then that is an aspect of being RP that you have not mastered yet. (Still the OPs post is true, you should be able to be alone without fear. But if you are an alpha, people will be drawn to you so it won't be as lonely as you think)

[–]RetailCon 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (3子コメント)

Let's not worship the inability to be a normie - you don't have to circle jerk over xfactor but you don't have to be a recluse aspie either.

What mountain are you at the top of? The mountain of not giving a fuck and using that as an excuse to separate yourself from the heard of which you could never really integrate with anyway? Fuck off.

Come back to me when you have smashed your career - have a sweet pad - have an abundance in everything you do.

[–]soyDonEladio 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I don't get why you got downvotes. I thoroughly dislike people like that who pat themselves on the back as an excuse for sucking shit and giving up.

I consider it a form of masturbation.

[–]villa_gotaha 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I am not a social recluse. Now that I am an adult, I can actually find like-minded individuals while avoiding ones that I do not like. And I have. Yet friends come and go. It's good to meet people along the way, though eventually we'll all walk different paths. Meaning that you truly are alone in your journey.

School is different. You're forced to only socialize with people who simply have one thing in common with you: they live in the same area as you. School puts the group over the individual. Kids form social circles and then conform to whatever place in the hierarchy that they were labeled into. Acting like that hierarchy doesn't exist, nobody is going to like you.

[–]M1ster_MeeSeeks 8 ポイント9 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Very good timing on this post. It's become extremely apparent to me with my mental self-development. I don't have any peers who are at/near my age, and those who I considered peers a few years ago are a lot further behind me on the mountain now. I'm not at the peak, but I'm at least past base camp (where so many seem to get stuck).

A few days ago I found myself asking a 50-something woman, who has worked on self-development her whole life and is similar to me in many ways, if she felt a mismatch with the values of America. She's traveled the world and said she had a mismatch with the values of humanity. I tend to share that sentiment.

It's not lonely for me. I enjoy every second of my day. That's not something people in college can claim, nor almost anyone else that I know.

The physical piece is what's next. I'm getting closer every day, but I'm not near the same level of success as I've achieved mentally. Thankfully, the physical piece is far easier.

[–]Aaren_Augustine 20 ポイント21 ポイント  (7子コメント)

Badass.

Full Human Experience. This is my litmus test when loving someone. This is the bullshit meter to rationalizations of getting back with oneitis chick. Or when you think you might be going MGTOW for all the "right" reasons.

I get up at 4:50 a.m., before the vast majority of the surrounding population and lift heavy. I'm fucking hanging off my power rack while other motherfuckers are hitting the snooze button.

[–]drew967 8 ポイント9 ポイント  (4子コメント)

Recovering is also part of gains. I mean are you sleeping at like 9 or 10 to get at least 8 hrs?

[–]Aaren_Augustine 8 ポイント9 ポイント  (3子コメント)

8 hours. I'm 36. I get the Heal Train in the morning when I wake up. All my joints and tendons ache from my SL 5x5 routine. IF until about 11 a.m.

[–]drew967 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Coming from someone younger; overtime did it feel better to wake up early? Early as in like 5-5 30?

I imagine its pretty hard to get used to

[–]Aaren_Augustine 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Your body adjusts. People assume it's that way forever. It's not.

[–]purplecabbage 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Right on bro. IF FTW. 8-12 for me. Morning workout too (but not so god-awful early lol).

[–]marplaneit 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (1子コメント)

My strength is really low during early morning, hace u tried lifting at 6pm?

[–]Aaren_Augustine 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Have you squat low first thing? Cocaine.

[–]40_SixandTwo 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (2子コメント)

I'm glad I read this because a lot of the times I do feel disconnected from people around me. For one, I grew up a very lonely and isolated kid. I'm 21 and I find it hard to relate to people my age, and awhile back an older friend of mine explained it to me. From the time I was 14 I worked in various jobs with men much older than I was, I think I've matured a lot faster than my peers because of being forced to adapt in a work environment with adults.

Lately I've been feeling more disconnected than ever. I'm not sure why. I've been making it a point to try and approach and talk to more people.

[–]soyDonEladio 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I use to feel the same. You've got to see them for what they are, unimportant. I started a project with a close friend and I feel much better now that I have a purpose. Get busy man!

[–]DaBaulz 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Lift. Be a good friend. Treat your friends better then women. Have a bro code. Go to school, get a career. Keep approaching and don't do it for the ends, do it for the journey.

Things will get much better. Men hit their prime after 27.

[–]Ma1nStreaM 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (0子コメント)

The more in shape I get, the more I'm offered fatty/sweet snacks by 'friends.'

[–]MrMelbourne 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I have successfully cut ties with two first cousins that I grew up with.

Each one was for different reasons and my only regret was that I had not done it earlier.

Gentlemen ... life is too short to spend it with people that make it feel like it is too long. In other words, negative influences, people that take far more than they give, people that don't understand what reciprocity is, people that are selfish, people that are very stingy with money and so on.

The main thing is that you do it by whatever means necessary. The goal is to cut them out like the cancer that they are.

I can assure you that being alone is FAR better than being in or tolerating bad company and over time it will free you up to meet other, better people that you choose to be with.

Tolerating shit behavior with friends or relatives also sets you up for tolerating shit behavior from women.

[–]1ShallITinder 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (5子コメント)

See this is the same MGTOW bullshit that /u/GayLubeOil was talking about in his post, it is ruining this sub. I am not saying you turn into a woman and make every day where you chat at a cafe but the other end of the coin is just as bad. You will turn into that isolated socially disconnected guy that can't move up in life.

What gets you that promotion at a job? Social skills!

How are you going to market yourself when you start your own business? Social skills!

How are you going to get the best looking women? Social skills!

If you don't have any of that, your skinny-fat socially conscious counterparts will beat you almost every single time. So you lifted some fucking weights and counted your meal down to the last calorie, good shit dude, you're still a fucking weirdo that can't make friends or get ahead in life. This whole mindset is single-handedly bringing down this entire sub.

[–]thechugganautbitch 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Some of the isolationist ideas MGTOW guys preach should be fucking banned. That shit can be really dangerous for newly unplugged guys.

I'm not saying OPs post is like that, but in general. Anything that discourages socialization is not good.

[–]1ShallITinder -1 ポイント0 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I think it is like that and this thread should be deleted.

[–]DaBaulz 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Well, I wouldn't say that about the OPs post, but I would definitely agree on some of the replies to the post. There is truth that a man should be OK with being alone, that is very true. But to be doomed to loneliness is not a product of an RP lifestyle.

[–]1ShallITinder 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

A man should NOT aspire to be alone and it should not be glamorized on here, this post belongs in FA, not red pill.

[–]lawwwl 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

It's up to interpretation. I'm looking at friends the same way op does. During your path on self improvement you will likeley come to the realization that you have outgrown your friends. You now have three options: be an isolated Idiot, stay with your friends and don't get anywhere in life or look for friends who are a better fit for you. It's up to you.

Also you don't have to be an asshole and 'break up' with your friends, just aknowledge the difference and move on.

[–]Akela_hk 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Second to last sentence could not be more true.

[–]LegendaryPeace 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I like the sentiment, but remember that a social network is important. Self-improvement is not anti-social. It's anti friends that hold you back and anti succumbing to the Herd mind.

However, we need balance in our lives. Grabbing drinks with high-value guys is a good thing to do on Friday nights.

[–]xXSoroxXx 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I cannot stress this point enough. The faster you accept this the more easy life comes. I lost A LOT of "friends" as I got fitter and made more money. As i watched my relationships go down one by one it really depressed me. For about 2-3 weeks I went to see a therapist to deal with this. I'm all good now and but looking back I was in a dark place. If anyone wants to chat feel free to PM me.

[–]miser1 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

This idea that it's "lonely at the top" is nonsense. There are plenty of people at the top and at every step of the way up. If you're hitting the gym, you'll be meeting the other guys also hitting it. I moved to Japan to study martial arts - guess who I met? Lots of like-minded people, serious about their training who had done the same thing.

Being on a trajectory for success will naturally intersect your path with people who're also aiming high. There are plenty of like-minded people out there - this subreddit is itself proof of that.

The loneliness is felt at the beginning. It's when you're mourning the loss of your original friends, habits and comforts, still discovering and creating your new identity. But there's nothing lonely about achieving your ambitions - on the contrary, it's the very thing that'll lead you to forming genuine bonds with like-minded people.

[–]TheInkerman 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I think of it this way;

There is a difference between solitude and loneliness.

[–]AdventurousJacK -1 ポイント0 ポイント  (0子コメント)

This is exactly what I needed. Thanks.

[–]StinkyDogFarts -3 ポイント-2 ポイント  (2子コメント)

This is all correct. But... Every rule has exception. Are you? Probably not. Can you be? Yeah. If you wanna bang hot trim, follow the rules and move forward. If you want a real girl, Midwest. Move there. There are shitty girls everywhere, but you actually have a shot at a smart girl who wants a career and will be a great partner and you'll have a great life. They won't be a ten, but they also won't be a pain in the ass that you have to manage like a child. A real partner. Happiness is better than contentment .

[–]thechugganautbitch 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

If there's one thing I've come to find out in my 25 years on this planet, it's that well educated career girls are some of the least suited to be a "life partner".

I'm not talking from personal experience, just observation.

[–]Tylerjjs 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Is from the mid west.

They are just as bad.