I work with a woman who quite frankly hates me. She is your typical entitled feminist, self centred princess who goes her daily work day gathering validation from beta’s. Me on the other hand simply ignores her. I don’t offer her any validation whatsoever.

Anyway last Friday she bit off more than she could chew and literally began choking. I watched her face redden behind her inch of war paint and I could see genuine fear in her eyes. I know CPR and the Heimlich manoeuvre but instead gradually walked up to her while she was keeling over and then asked “Do you want me to get some help?” In a panic and with severe mumbling and coughing she grunted “yes” I slowly walked off and headed downstairs at a steady calm pace to find a beta white knight to go rescue her.

Fortunately for her the lump of shit she was choking on decided to release its self and gave her enough air to regain consciousness. The thing is guys, and this is real . . . I didn’t give a single fuck if that bitch keeled over and actually snuffed it. Even in her moment of need I couldn’t give in to the blue pill fantasy and help her. So yep I guess in the eyes of society I’m an asshole, because at the end of the day that was somebody’s daughter that I chose to let die hadn’t she been lucky.

If she does end up asking why I didn’t go ahead and help her I will simply say “I was unable to get your consent to touch you and release what was choking you. I would suggest you eat soup for lunch next time”

Fuck her.